A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
1
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
ADRIAN GABRIEL DUMITRU
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
Year: 2022
Author: Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
2
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
“Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
3
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
INTRODUCTION
And what if one day … after stop loving someone that you liked so, so much … you decide to replace that big whole from your soul with loving all the people from the timeline of your life?!
Today i believe that to understand the life itself we need to experience … love … in whatever form it might appear to us. It sounds weird, or even as a total nonsense … but in the end
following the paths of life …. I always realized that everything comes by itself.
Not so long time ago, before becoming 40 …. I heard lots of
strange ideas about the change is happening in man’s perspective about life … the next second he comes to this age.
In fact … the truth is that only 2 versions worth to be mentioned … and i saw that at all my friends that had this age.
One theory was that we start to have all types of medical problems … and the other one was that the man starts to be obsessed by love … love stories …. and all the women from the timeline of his life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
4
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
I never had medical problems in my life … so i totally ignored the first theory ….and on another hand, working in sales for
more than 20 years … i met thousands of ladies … but never had the intention to cheat my wife.
So … i totally ignored both theories, but just few days before becoming 40 … a very beautiful lady … appeared in my life. She was the most unexpected person i could dream that i would start a love story with … but … it happened. The theory was right … or at least one of it.
I fell in love … with that amazing soul … and i started to write all my feelings and everything related to us.
I wrote so much … that one day i realized that i published 10 books carrying the word … love … inside of the title.
But … same as any other story from the history of the human being … my love story had a beginning, the story itself …. and the end.
Today … looking back in time, i see just the 10 books i wrote
but i would not like to read them again. Never …
In my last book about love stories … “Loving, but not understanding where the love goes” … the last 2 essays i wrote tell everything it was in my heart and soul … “I miss you a lot, but i don’t want you back in my life! Never again!”
and “Awakening can be obtained at the end of the love story!”.
I left the love story dissatisfied of all happened … but still … i was chasing for love.
Getting back into her arms … was useless.
I knew it … and even if i lied myself for such a long time … she was the same as my wife … a shrew … or at least this is
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
5
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
how i saw both of them.
I decided to let my life continue … near my family, totally forgetting the love story …. but still not ignoring my huge desire for … love.
The smaller kid ….told me one day while arguing with my
wife … “ You are not allowed to leave us. You are our parents and you don’t have the right to do that.” Ignoring those words … was equal with betrayal.
…. A huge one.
So i remained near my wife and kids … doing my duty, understanding the dharmic side of life … but still something was whispering me all the time …”love, love, love, love … love ….”
I thought i need to find another lady … but my wife was paying attention now to any small detail … so i could not repeat the love story i had with that crazy lady. I was meditating a lot.
On the scene of my life, i met lots of other people in the same situation as myself … that ended the love story and …. somehow started to be in a relationship with themselves.
They discovered a new path …. the one of self love.
But i did not know anything about the subject … and not even wanted to bother becoming more profound and connected to myself.
I actually did not wanted to start a new relationship either ….
with someone else … either with myself.
I knew i needed something else into my life… but did not understood the new path i need to follow. And i continued … searching.
On and on …. and on.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
6
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
One day … a year ago … while having a fire at one of my properties … a heart appeared on the roof of the building. Everyone saw the heart … except myself.
Later on … i saw it in the pictures taken by the people that were there at the time.
Again …. I thought that i should find a new mistress and have
a parallel life again … without my wife to find out.
But … i was wrong.
So … damn wrong.
Time passed and … and the russian-ukrainian war began … and i started to host lots of refugees.
There were people that needed unconditional love and support … and i somehow connected to the all of them … realizing that i can be in a weird love story with all those women coming from Ukraine.
They were ladies of different age and personality … but i loved having them into my life.
I somehow started to understand that even if i thought that being in love can have only 2 options … loving a soulmate ….
or yourself … i finally saw a totally new path …. and that was
being in a lovely relationship … practicing another type of love …. with anyone was appearing in my reality.
That of course … could not offend in any way my wife …. and
also could not affect the marriage i had … but …
Yes …. It was … an amazing trick … and i just loved it.
I finally understood what Dalai Lama or Pope Francis were saying … about … unconditional love for all the people from this world.
Reading their books … i even had moments when i thought the 2 of them were idiots …. but i was the idiot one.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
7
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
My marriage … was indeed karmic … having nothing to do with love … but my youngest son learnt me the meaning of … dharma.
My mistress … which even if i loved so, so much … but don’t even want to hear her name again … taught me … what love … means.
She was somehow a combination between karma and love … and saw her at the end of our love story more as a teacher …. than a soulmate.
Most probably i have totally different values as those 2 shrews … my wife and my mistress … but i am happy i met the ucrainian ladies.
The abstract love story i started with them …. all of them …
no matter of age, personality, perspectives of life … was a much better path for continuing my life journey.
I finally understood that if i would know to connect to the people that appear on the timeline of my life … and love them unconditionally…. somehow that love that i was chasing
so, so much … since i was a kid … will come back to me in infinite quantities.
I was looking for love … and i had to see the meaning of love story … from a totally different perspective. But … now everything was clear to me.
I knew what i had to do … and which path to follow.
My expectation was as my wife to love me …. but she was a
karmic character that i could not replace … or my mistresses to love me unconditionally…. but she was the teacher that made me realize what the concept of love … means.
My life journey … had to continue … and the ucrainian ladies showed me such a beautiful perspective … i never thought
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
8
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
about.
I was glad … of this awakening moment.
So … loving you?! … loving me?! … or … simple loving any soul that appears in our lives?!
Well … maybe from my position where i am now … being in a love story with everyone … is probably the best scenario i could live.
Am glad i see things today … as that.
Might be your perception … or not.
Might sound as a total nonsense all what i am writing …. but
maybe it will be much interesting to hear weird ideas … than the boring ones.
So … let the journey begin … and we will see if i succeed to really connect to my real self … so … that i can find the inspiration to express myself clear enough … that in the end you will try at least one time … this kind of abstract love story … being in love with all the people from your life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
9
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
A man always wants more and more women … but a woman always makes the mistake of falling in love
Me and Nolene Sheppard are trying to write our perspectives
as a man … and as a woman … over this concept that we name love.
The challenge is even bigger as i am a married man and Nolene is a single woman … so we might even have contradictory views about the subject, but i believe that makes our writings even more interesting … or at least not so boring.
Today i somehow agree with many other important thinkers of the world that the human being has an important issue to solve on this planet and that is … dealing with the other souls
but also come closer to them … connect and why not enter in what we define as … love stories.
I also agree that i had over the years a large spectrum of ideas regarding the subject.
totally contradictory ideas.
But i still meditate over the subject and probably i am much closer now of understanding the meaning of intimacy … and the connection itself between a man and a woman.
As a married man is maybe considered even immoral to talk about the subject and still let myself taste from the pleasure
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
10
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
of being in a connection with another lady … but i gave myself the liberty to experience whatever life has to offer to me.
I spoke over the years with thousands of ladies … about life and with many of them even about love.
I had an obsession of knowing a woman perspective about connecting on the vibe of love … and i had listened so many versions that in the end i still don’t know what to think. Probably i don’t even know what to think about my ideas either … and i smile reading this … knowing that whatever we might think is not the absolute truth.
But i continued this journey … of finding out as much as i can about … love … knowing for sure that in fact … love is the gateway to the Spiritual Universe that we should explore more than we do it today.
All my thoughts … even if i define them as my own thoughts are probably mine … not more than 10% maximum. Talking and exchanging so many ideas with so many people
i am probably under the influence of many other souls that searched the absolute truth same as i do.
Recently … i was out in a coffee shop with Paula.
You see … she is a business woman … of huge success.
She is wealthy, extremely beautiful, elegant, very intelligent and has everything she ever wanted … except one thing … being in the right love story.
She smiles … while saying to me … “A man always wants more and more women … but a woman always makes the mistake of falling in love.
I do that all the time.
I am in love again … of a man that instead of being in
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
11
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
connection just with me… is always searching more and more women.
I know he loves me … same as the other one that loved me
but cheating me again and again and again is actually destroying the beauty of our relationship.
Can you please make me understand why men are so idiots
being obsessed all the time to have more and more women?!
I simple can’t understand. I just can’t!”
I started to laugh.
“Paula … how the hell can i define that to you if in fact i am suffering of the same disease … same as all those men?! Yes … we are idiots i think.
Instead of enjoying the connection and the love story itself …. we want new and new connections.
Most probably we are searching all the time that energy of beginning …. generated by the obsession of having a great vibe all the time.
We know that a new relationship is amazing when it starts … so maybe it’s not a new woman that we are searching on and on and on … but that amazing feeling.
A new connection … with intimacy implications is always making us feel alive … and a man has always this weird desire.
It might sound as a nonsense, but behind the nonsense is always something weird that reveals hidden … facts.”
“I will never be able to understand you … the men.”
“Well … my dear … i will never be able to understand you … the women.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
12
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
But i accepted that from a long time … cause i love being connected to beautiful feminine souls.”
“Gabriel … what can i do to make him realize that he needs to stop cheating on me??
You wrote a lot about love and relationships.
I need a real advice from you.”
“Well … my dear Paula … the only thing left to do … with that idiot that you love so much … proving in the same time that you are so damn silly … is to disappear from his life.
When you will do that … he will realize the illusion of the other connections … and that the real path for him … is the love story you have together.
It will be tough … to suddenly cut the connection you have together … but otherwise … the so called awakening that you expect on his side … will never appear.”
I continued my talk with Paula for many more hours … and still don’t know if that is the best advice i could give to her … but at least now she has a much clear perspective about how a man … is usually thinking.
It was not useless drinking the coffee together … but even if it might look useless … i adored staying near Paula … in that coffee shop with such a great vibe.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
13
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
Yes … indeed … a love story
can become a therapy
for … the soul
The human mind is so chaotic … that i decided to not follow any rule or book architecture … when i write.
philosophical essays
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
1
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
ADRIAN GABRIEL DUMITRU
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
Year: 2022
Author: Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
2
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
“Keep smiling, because life is a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
3
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
INTRODUCTION
And what if one day … after stop loving someone that you liked so, so much … you decide to replace that big whole from your soul with loving all the people from the timeline of your life?!
Today i believe that to understand the life itself we need to experience … love … in whatever form it might appear to us. It sounds weird, or even as a total nonsense … but in the end
following the paths of life …. I always realized that everything comes by itself.
Not so long time ago, before becoming 40 …. I heard lots of
strange ideas about the change is happening in man’s perspective about life … the next second he comes to this age.
In fact … the truth is that only 2 versions worth to be mentioned … and i saw that at all my friends that had this age.
One theory was that we start to have all types of medical problems … and the other one was that the man starts to be obsessed by love … love stories …. and all the women from the timeline of his life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
4
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
I never had medical problems in my life … so i totally ignored the first theory ….and on another hand, working in sales for
more than 20 years … i met thousands of ladies … but never had the intention to cheat my wife.
So … i totally ignored both theories, but just few days before becoming 40 … a very beautiful lady … appeared in my life. She was the most unexpected person i could dream that i would start a love story with … but … it happened. The theory was right … or at least one of it.
I fell in love … with that amazing soul … and i started to write all my feelings and everything related to us.
I wrote so much … that one day i realized that i published 10 books carrying the word … love … inside of the title.
But … same as any other story from the history of the human being … my love story had a beginning, the story itself …. and the end.
Today … looking back in time, i see just the 10 books i wrote
but i would not like to read them again. Never …
In my last book about love stories … “Loving, but not understanding where the love goes” … the last 2 essays i wrote tell everything it was in my heart and soul … “I miss you a lot, but i don’t want you back in my life! Never again!”
and “Awakening can be obtained at the end of the love story!”.
I left the love story dissatisfied of all happened … but still … i was chasing for love.
Getting back into her arms … was useless.
I knew it … and even if i lied myself for such a long time … she was the same as my wife … a shrew … or at least this is
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
5
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
how i saw both of them.
I decided to let my life continue … near my family, totally forgetting the love story …. but still not ignoring my huge desire for … love.
The smaller kid ….told me one day while arguing with my
wife … “ You are not allowed to leave us. You are our parents and you don’t have the right to do that.” Ignoring those words … was equal with betrayal.
…. A huge one.
So i remained near my wife and kids … doing my duty, understanding the dharmic side of life … but still something was whispering me all the time …”love, love, love, love … love ….”
I thought i need to find another lady … but my wife was paying attention now to any small detail … so i could not repeat the love story i had with that crazy lady. I was meditating a lot.
On the scene of my life, i met lots of other people in the same situation as myself … that ended the love story and …. somehow started to be in a relationship with themselves.
They discovered a new path …. the one of self love.
But i did not know anything about the subject … and not even wanted to bother becoming more profound and connected to myself.
I actually did not wanted to start a new relationship either ….
with someone else … either with myself.
I knew i needed something else into my life… but did not understood the new path i need to follow. And i continued … searching.
On and on …. and on.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
6
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
One day … a year ago … while having a fire at one of my properties … a heart appeared on the roof of the building. Everyone saw the heart … except myself.
Later on … i saw it in the pictures taken by the people that were there at the time.
Again …. I thought that i should find a new mistress and have
a parallel life again … without my wife to find out.
But … i was wrong.
So … damn wrong.
Time passed and … and the russian-ukrainian war began … and i started to host lots of refugees.
There were people that needed unconditional love and support … and i somehow connected to the all of them … realizing that i can be in a weird love story with all those women coming from Ukraine.
They were ladies of different age and personality … but i loved having them into my life.
I somehow started to understand that even if i thought that being in love can have only 2 options … loving a soulmate ….
or yourself … i finally saw a totally new path …. and that was
being in a lovely relationship … practicing another type of love …. with anyone was appearing in my reality.
That of course … could not offend in any way my wife …. and
also could not affect the marriage i had … but …
Yes …. It was … an amazing trick … and i just loved it.
I finally understood what Dalai Lama or Pope Francis were saying … about … unconditional love for all the people from this world.
Reading their books … i even had moments when i thought the 2 of them were idiots …. but i was the idiot one.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
7
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
My marriage … was indeed karmic … having nothing to do with love … but my youngest son learnt me the meaning of … dharma.
My mistress … which even if i loved so, so much … but don’t even want to hear her name again … taught me … what love … means.
She was somehow a combination between karma and love … and saw her at the end of our love story more as a teacher …. than a soulmate.
Most probably i have totally different values as those 2 shrews … my wife and my mistress … but i am happy i met the ucrainian ladies.
The abstract love story i started with them …. all of them …
no matter of age, personality, perspectives of life … was a much better path for continuing my life journey.
I finally understood that if i would know to connect to the people that appear on the timeline of my life … and love them unconditionally…. somehow that love that i was chasing
so, so much … since i was a kid … will come back to me in infinite quantities.
I was looking for love … and i had to see the meaning of love story … from a totally different perspective. But … now everything was clear to me.
I knew what i had to do … and which path to follow.
My expectation was as my wife to love me …. but she was a
karmic character that i could not replace … or my mistresses to love me unconditionally…. but she was the teacher that made me realize what the concept of love … means.
My life journey … had to continue … and the ucrainian ladies showed me such a beautiful perspective … i never thought
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
8
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
about.
I was glad … of this awakening moment.
So … loving you?! … loving me?! … or … simple loving any soul that appears in our lives?!
Well … maybe from my position where i am now … being in a love story with everyone … is probably the best scenario i could live.
Am glad i see things today … as that.
Might be your perception … or not.
Might sound as a total nonsense all what i am writing …. but
maybe it will be much interesting to hear weird ideas … than the boring ones.
So … let the journey begin … and we will see if i succeed to really connect to my real self … so … that i can find the inspiration to express myself clear enough … that in the end you will try at least one time … this kind of abstract love story … being in love with all the people from your life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
9
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
A man always wants more and more women … but a woman always makes the mistake of falling in love
Me and Nolene Sheppard are trying to write our perspectives
as a man … and as a woman … over this concept that we name love.
The challenge is even bigger as i am a married man and Nolene is a single woman … so we might even have contradictory views about the subject, but i believe that makes our writings even more interesting … or at least not so boring.
Today i somehow agree with many other important thinkers of the world that the human being has an important issue to solve on this planet and that is … dealing with the other souls
but also come closer to them … connect and why not enter in what we define as … love stories.
I also agree that i had over the years a large spectrum of ideas regarding the subject.
totally contradictory ideas.
But i still meditate over the subject and probably i am much closer now of understanding the meaning of intimacy … and the connection itself between a man and a woman.
As a married man is maybe considered even immoral to talk about the subject and still let myself taste from the pleasure
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
10
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
of being in a connection with another lady … but i gave myself the liberty to experience whatever life has to offer to me.
I spoke over the years with thousands of ladies … about life and with many of them even about love.
I had an obsession of knowing a woman perspective about connecting on the vibe of love … and i had listened so many versions that in the end i still don’t know what to think. Probably i don’t even know what to think about my ideas either … and i smile reading this … knowing that whatever we might think is not the absolute truth.
But i continued this journey … of finding out as much as i can about … love … knowing for sure that in fact … love is the gateway to the Spiritual Universe that we should explore more than we do it today.
All my thoughts … even if i define them as my own thoughts are probably mine … not more than 10% maximum. Talking and exchanging so many ideas with so many people
i am probably under the influence of many other souls that searched the absolute truth same as i do.
Recently … i was out in a coffee shop with Paula.
You see … she is a business woman … of huge success.
She is wealthy, extremely beautiful, elegant, very intelligent and has everything she ever wanted … except one thing … being in the right love story.
She smiles … while saying to me … “A man always wants more and more women … but a woman always makes the mistake of falling in love.
I do that all the time.
I am in love again … of a man that instead of being in
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
11
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
connection just with me… is always searching more and more women.
I know he loves me … same as the other one that loved me
but cheating me again and again and again is actually destroying the beauty of our relationship.
Can you please make me understand why men are so idiots
being obsessed all the time to have more and more women?!
I simple can’t understand. I just can’t!”
I started to laugh.
“Paula … how the hell can i define that to you if in fact i am suffering of the same disease … same as all those men?! Yes … we are idiots i think.
Instead of enjoying the connection and the love story itself …. we want new and new connections.
Most probably we are searching all the time that energy of beginning …. generated by the obsession of having a great vibe all the time.
We know that a new relationship is amazing when it starts … so maybe it’s not a new woman that we are searching on and on and on … but that amazing feeling.
A new connection … with intimacy implications is always making us feel alive … and a man has always this weird desire.
It might sound as a nonsense, but behind the nonsense is always something weird that reveals hidden … facts.”
“I will never be able to understand you … the men.”
“Well … my dear … i will never be able to understand you … the women.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
12
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
But i accepted that from a long time … cause i love being connected to beautiful feminine souls.”
“Gabriel … what can i do to make him realize that he needs to stop cheating on me??
You wrote a lot about love and relationships.
I need a real advice from you.”
“Well … my dear Paula … the only thing left to do … with that idiot that you love so much … proving in the same time that you are so damn silly … is to disappear from his life.
When you will do that … he will realize the illusion of the other connections … and that the real path for him … is the love story you have together.
It will be tough … to suddenly cut the connection you have together … but otherwise … the so called awakening that you expect on his side … will never appear.”
I continued my talk with Paula for many more hours … and still don’t know if that is the best advice i could give to her … but at least now she has a much clear perspective about how a man … is usually thinking.
It was not useless drinking the coffee together … but even if it might look useless … i adored staying near Paula … in that coffee shop with such a great vibe.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
13
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
Yes … indeed … a love story
can become a therapy
for … the soul
The human mind is so chaotic … that i decided to not follow any rule or book architecture … when i write.
