Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
26
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
active when it came about sex.
And still … we don’t really understand the meaning … even if it is so damn clear.
It remains a secret … but it’s defined as a secret cause we hide it so well by ourselves.
We pretend we don’t know what it’s really about … but also that we don’t know either about keeping the right balance between love and sex …
Truth be told … we know everything … and even if we don’t have clear proofs … the intuition tells us in fact everything we need to know.
So … learning to connect to the present moment on and on and on … maybe we end up understanding the trick … of feeling and why not … being alive.
Analyzing all those details, starting to be a weird mix of therapist-philosopher … we somehow become aware of the fact that a change must be done.
But still prisoners of a reality that we actually hate …. we do
… nothing.
So … the cure?! …
Maybe … more and more sex …. but who the hell knows …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
27
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
Yes … i believe there
is a chance to win at the lottery without buying a ticket
Me and my friend Paul … are discussing all the time philosophically stuff.
Sometimes we come to a point where we discuss about a mix concept of philosophy, spirituality … and motivation.
Me … seeing the events from my near past …. I somehow
realized that if something needs to happen … it will happen anyway.
Recently Paul asked me … “How the hell you can win to the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket?!”
I smiled and the answer came right away into my mind …”You can find the ticket on the street.”
“Yes … but still … there needs to be one or more actions ….
take it from the street, look at the results of the lottery… and then take the big prize.”
Maybe i should better record a conversation between me and Paul .. to make you laugh.
It looks a lot with a dialogue … on a stand up comedy. But the subject itself was … can we mix philosophy, spirituality and motivation in a totally new concept about how we should live our lives?!
You see i started this conversation about lottery … by talking
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
28
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
with Paul about Brian.
He is flirting with lots of ladies … but all what he is doing is a total nonsense.
He’s flirting without wanting anything from those ladies.
Or if he really wants something is maybe just … socialize with them.
Like any man over 40 …. he started to be obsessed about
admiring them.
It’s almost a full time job for him …. but we can’t see the
meaning of all that.
We also know that behind the nonsense … there is a deep meaning … but what is that meaning?
Why Brian is socializing … and flirting with so many ladies … but he still does not want to divorce and start a new life from scratch?!
You see … Brian is even worst than the people that wants to win at the lottery … but never buy a ticket.
Yes …. he really is even worst.
It’s like he buys the ticket, gets the winning ticket of the big prize … but he never collects that prize … whatever meaning of value it has.
Brian has a paradoxical behavior very difficult to be understood … but more me and Paul are talking about it … more we understand that we are all acting the same. We all have dreams.
Many of us … really act on the stage of life to get that dream … which in many cases it means … a tremendous change … but we feel such a deep fear that … in the last moment … we stop … and run away.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
29
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
It’s totally illogical and looks like a total nonsense all what i am saying … but … being really honest with ourselves, analyzing and defining how we act on the stage of life … maybe we find one day the strength… to redefine the way we act …
Until then … we are simple enjoying the nonsense value of this journey on a … pathless path.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
30
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
"Sir, if anyone had a problem with my
drinking, at any time in my life, it was me.
The only person I've abused in my life is
myself."
Johnny Deep
I was laughing reading in media what this amazing guy said about alcohol.
Same as many others i also used to drink.
Not as much as Deep … but still i loved to have a bottle of read wine every night.
I wrote about 10 books under the influence of alcohol …. but
on the other hand … i also remember the saying … “in vino veritas” … so that probably let me write exactly what i thought.
Today i am not drinking anymore … so i wonder myself … do i still have the same courage in my essays?!
But also … did alcohol was something good or bad into my life?!
Did anyone had problems because of my drinking?!
Or … the only person i’ve abused because of the alcohol ….
was my inner soul?!
I believe the truth is … in the middle.
Alcohol was good …. or at least this was my perception about
it.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
31
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
It calmed me down …. for years.
I was not drinking the whole day … but i just loved … when the evening came and i could relax drinking my bottle of good wine.
It gave me the courage to write all what it was into my heart.
When i stoped drinking … all my thoughts changed.
I started to replace my love essays with philosophical and motivational ones … but maybe it was the perfect time to start a new chapter of my life.
…. who the hell knows.
But i am a different person today anyway.
The alcohol calmed my problems … or in fact made my perspective over those problems be much calmer. Now … i need to deal with anything that intrigues me. The therapy with alcohol … ended and i don’t even know if someone suffered because of my love for alcohol ….
Maybe my readers …. the ones that read my thoughts about
love.
Should i apologize to them?!
Hell … no.
Alcohol created kind of a blindness that makes you don’t see anymore that you are … unhappy.
But the funny thing … after forgetting about this illusory medicine is that … seeing everything so clear … the real therapy starts.
Sort of …. what i use to name … self therapy.
Meditating … seeing all what is wrong … analyzing and defining your life … you realize you must not forget about your problems … but only redefine them in … why not … advantages … cause everything happens for a reason.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
32
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
It’s better to understand the reason … than hide from the real truth.
I’ll always remember the pleasure of drinking my everyday bottle of good wine … but … i prefer today … as my mind to not be dominated anymore by alcohol.
And is not that i promised to myself only as never again in my life to taste alcohol … but … also … never again to read all those illusory essays about love stories.
But … was i acting as a drunk person … because of the wine … or because of love?!
How the hell could i write 10 books about love?!
… hmm!
It all remains a mystery!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
33
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
The muse … a nonsense
need of illusions?! … or a very deep desire of knowing there is someone in your life to make you feel alive?!
I once wrote a book called “The muse … a nonsense need of illusions.”
Maybe i was mad in that day defining all those ladies i was admiring …. as simple muses … but ….
2 months later … Roger called me saying … “You know … one night i could not sleep and i was reading one of your books. I decided to read the one about the muses.
The cover had much more sex appeal … and i loved it. And guess what?!
Not so late after reading your damn book … i found a muse for myself.
And even worst … i found in fact more than one.
Same as you and as any other man of over 40 … i started to connect with all the ladies from the timeline of my life.
The only real problem … even if many of them like me … is that they started to define me as illusory.
All i am doing is connect with them and get the great vibe of connecting to their inner soul.
I do it with a weird hungriness …. but its all meaning is about
connecting to beautiful vibes.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
34
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
And there is one special lady … which i adore … and i like to connect at her most of the time.
She is always there … just to make me smile.
But the question is … is it moral what i am doing?! Is it wrong?!
Your book somehow influenced me with this desire of having my own muse … or why not … muses.”
I smiled listening to Roger, but i still don’t really know if having a muse is a nonsense … or a must for a man of our age.
I meditate a lot over its meaning … and even wonder if it’s good or bad that i share those thoughts with everyone … by publishing my book.
On the other hand … i also believe that we should share our thoughts … about the paths from our lives.
It’s a weird balance of believing contradictory ideas.
It might help … or it might influence wrong the people i am interacting with … but i have many moments when i live with the impression that gossiping a little bit … and sharing our thoughts helps.
It’s kind of a weird therapy … trying all those non standard
methods … but …
Give it a try!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
35
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
Just let the energy of waves … invade you
I’ve been looking at the waves.
Staying near the sea … i was still illusory searching for the meaning of life … but especially … the meaning of my life. The dance of the waves … reminded me of the energies were coming to me from the outside world.
I felt invaded so many times … same like the waves of the sea were invading today the island. I was smiling … watching the show.
And a philosophical question came to my mind … why the hell i could not enjoy all those energies that were invading myself over the time?!
I could simple … admire the show of this dance of energies … but …
I felt many times overwhelmed.
Also …. annoyed … dominated by some forces that i could not
understand.
And i was looking for my spiritual and philosophical answers in all those … stupid books.
I acted so … illogical … and for such a long, long time. Being afraid of being invaded … by entities that i did not understood …. I ended up not experiencing something that
could be similar with the show offered me today … by the waves ….
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
36
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
Maybe i should start to change myself a little bit …. and stop
being afraid.
In fact … afraid of being and feeling alive.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
37
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
Honesty is the key
to the true self
A guy goes to the therapist that was teaching his clients to practice self therapy.
For the ones that were not prepared yet, he was not telling them all the tricks, but the ones that knew a little bit of spirituality, philosophy, psychology … he was helping them with a great passion to practice it. William came to him twice a week.
He was not divorced yet … but you could feel that deeply inside him he wanted to really change his life.
In fact Will wanted to be happy … and the marriage he had … was not that something to make him happy.
Even worst … he started to be ruined emotionally, because of that.
Coming to his office, the therapist welcomed him and says … “Listen Will!
I know you recently met Gloria.
She’s much, much younger than you and ….
but let’s not judge things accordingly to the age … cause you have connection with her.
You want her … and she wants you.
You like each other a lot.
So …. let’s do a new exercise today.
Write her … about the perfect case scenario.
Write her now!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
38
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
I will be here …”
“Why not doctor … let’s do it!” … Will says.
…. and he started to write:
“It says that there is a reason why two souls meet during a lifetime.
Some values are more important.
Some things seem illogical.
Some ... just life lessons.
Some bonds are stronger than others.
We just have to let things come by itself.
I believe it wil be illogical to be mad on me.
I am a little bit different than the standards ... and even might look weird, but ... once you will accept me in the way i am ... i will be an amazing company to you. All you asked was honesty.
But i mix honesty with my wildness.
In front of you ... i let myself the liberty to ... be me ... the other self … the real one.
I am not wearing masks anymore ... those personalities that always hided who i really am.
But maybe this is the meaning of our relationship.
I see wildness in your eyes … too.
I want the meaning of our story to be …. helping each other
to connect to the Infinity.
I want to become me … or maybe i should say …. re become
who i used to be … and liked to be.
You are a very beautiful soul.
I feel in love with you.
I feel in fact an amazing attraction.
The next second i saw you … i dreamed about a love story
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
39
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
that will remain real …. at least an eternity.
And i know it will happen.
I feel it so … so strong … that it will happen.
You will reveal my beautiful side …. and i will always bring
you amazing vibes to your soul.
It’s going to be a story … which in fact … will reveal us the Infinite.
And we will love it.
…. but just give me some time.
I need to find the courage … to allow myself to enter … into
our love story.
And i will find it.
Even sooner than you might think.”
The therapist was smiling … “You see … Will … you could do it.
It was not so hard.
You told her that you like her … but also that you are afraid … or at least this is what you feel today … to enter into that story.
Or i should say … that … amazing love story.
You were … honest.
Honest to her … but also honest to yourself.
That girl is not just that she is extremely beautiful, but she is also very smart … and she easily convinced you … of a very simple thing … to become honest.
To practice self therapy …. to believe you can do it … should
