With all the respect … she was actually looking a lot with the ruin from that park.
Walking together she started to tell me about her divorce … and could not realize how she could be changed … so, so much.
The emotional baggage … was … terrible.
Well … she wasn’t anymore that happy person from high school … that i used to know.
In fact … Tunde was indeed … a ruin.
Too bad …
I somehow changed my vibe … interacting with her … being sad for seeing my old friend like that.
I said to myself … it’s too bad we allow ourselves to come in such emotional and mental condition.
I believe that seeing a ruin is … horrible … and what is silly is
that some factors were allowed at a certain time to come
with such an influence.
So …
But maybe it’s something … karmic …
And i keep wondering myself … will i ever see her again … how she used to be?!
What the hell could heal her?!
Well … maybe just love … like a new love story …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
103
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
Watching Linda … and listening to her amazing music … i realized i was in love with … everything that defined her …
She was … perfect … and i adored her.
I always loved to write … fantasy.
One day my wife found on amazon the 10 published books with love essays … that i wrote not so long time ago … and … Well … i explained … of course that all it’s pure fantasy … and nothing more.
Today Paul … sent me an amazing movie with Linda … playing piano and suddenly i realized that deep inside me, same as Paul, i am looking for that perfect woman .. which i am searching by so, so many years.
I named it … my desire but also … my fantasy.
But you see … Linda … was a reflection of that desire.
I was watching her playing piano, but i was also analyzing
her beautiful body.
I adored her.
… her everything.
She was indeed … perfect.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
104
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
And yes … i could even say that i was in love with her … in my funny fantasy.
But why can’t such a person as Linda … be part of my reality?!
Maybe … it’s not related with my karma.
Or maybe i need to connect to a different type of profile … for a love story.
One totally different than the one that i defined in my fantasies.
Until then … i kept admiring her.
And Paul is laughing … seeing at me ….the same desires that
he defined by such a long time in our talks.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
105
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
I wonder if the torture … is …. karmic?!
I’ve been watching a movie with a guy who was torturing people in the communist times … in 1950’s.
With an unbelievable honesty … the guy is even speaking about the …. “pleasure of torturing them”.
During the years i’ve been reading lots of books about the nazi and communist times … the way they tortured and killed people.
It was a clear description of those times … done by the people that had those terrible experiences …
But one day … i’ve read in a spiritual book … that someone that killed in a previous life, will be probably killed in this life time … so who was that guy from the movie i talk about?!
A killer?! …. Or a karmic teacher?!
Should we judge that person?! …. Or ask ourselves what
means … from the karmic point of view … the experiences those people had when they were tortured or killed?! Were those experiences needed?! Were them … welcomed?!
What kind of energy could dominate a human being that speaks about … “the pleasure of torturing them”?!
Well … suddenly … i somehow understand that the whole picture … could be defined … as abstract.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
106
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
I was judging the torturer … but what was the lesson those people had during this lifetime .. by having such terrible experiences?!
What is the message behind the message?!
I personally wanted to write a long and angry comment to that movie … but then i asked myself …. why the Universe allowed this to happen?!
Now i realize that what i defined as a terrible experience ….
could be named abstract … or even better … when everything becomes clear … karmic.
So … I stoped myself posting that comment and said to myself that i need to meditate more … over those stories. And the question is … is the torture … of any kind … karmic?! My torturer could be … my wife …. or my kid.
again an abstract scenario … but if the Universe allows as this to happen … there is only one question i should ask … what is the message behind the message?!
Can i see behind … the abstract?!
Well …. maybe not yet and maybe other perspectives are too weird to consider them as having anything to do with the truth.
But … at least … i continue meditating. And … i stoped judging.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
107
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
No introduction at all … so i wonder myself … is it karmic?!
Eric accidentally met Maria in the train station.
Smiled her, but said …. not even a word to each other.
Later on … they met again in the lobby of the beautiful hotel where they were hosted … near the beach.
Eric smiled to her … and found the courage to say … “Wanna
join me on the beach?!”
Maria smiled … and agreed.
Few minutes later …even if they were not speaking the same language … in fact speaking just with a translator from the mobile phone …. Maria says …. “Why don’t we buy a rom and stay on the balcony from the hotel room?!”
So …. they bought the rom, went in the room and after few
minutes they started to kiss each other and … made love. The conversation itself was difficult cause the translator was not so good, but …still it proved that a man and a woman can have a relationship without speaking the same language. She finished the rom and then … left.
Eric remained alone on the balcony of the hotel , watching the sea and meditating about what happened with Maria.
He used to believe that a story had an introduction, the story itself and the end … but with Maria was totally different. It even looked as a … nonsense.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
108
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
The way everything happened so, so fast … and the way she left … not even saying … good bye … So … it was a story … about what?!
But few months later …. Maria calls him explaining she is
pregnant and they must meet and take a decision on what to really do with the baby.
Eric totally disliked it …. but things were the way they were …
and now they were in front of a karmic … question … So … what shall they do?!
A total non sense episode … suddenly appears as a karmic lesson … and it was not the first time when Eric was in such a situation.
You see … we know it … but … we ignore the karmic impact … and …
Most probably taking the right decision is … quite difficult ….
cause the karmic lessons are so, so abstract.
Not even having a great introduction … the influence on our lives after such stories … in many cases … is huge.
We should pay more attention to the nonsense, analyze and define it … cause one day there will come a moment with many, many … karmic decisions that should be taken wisely. But … theory is so … damn simple …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
109
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
It was the lesson … “Don’t be stupid again and again and again” … but i could not really understand it
I have a dear friend that has kind of magic powers of connecting to the Universe and tells all the time … don’t follow that path, or don’t do that or that … cause … But guess what?!
even if i understood that her powers are real … and also realize her good intentions … i ignored her one million times. So now my friend changed a little bit the way of speaking to me … saying … “Don’t be stupid again …”
In fact she uses the word “stupid” … so many times when talking to me … that it all became really annoying.
But … still …. I know that when she says something … probably 99% she is right.
So …. I analyze and try to define myself … and laugh. Even if i have informations about what i should not do and what i should do …. still … my mind is deciding to put me in the position of acting so, so …. silly.
Then … i look around me and i see the other people acting the same as me … and ask again myself why do i do that?! Well … maybe we don’t understand the karmic concepts about life … and their meaning.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
110
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
Today if i would define what karma is about ... i should mainly say … that is a lesson repeated on and on and on … till we understand it.
But we should see the message clear … to realize that deep inside of us … to understand that we can’t fool the … Universe.
A friend like mine … having magical powers is a real divine present in our lives … but … still …
I came to the conclusion … that being in the illusion of the self … we start to believe that we know everything and we are in the position of deciding whatever we want to decide. Not carrying about absolutely anything that is whispered by the Universe in one million ways … we do just what we believe we should do.
The signs … the karmic signs … repeated one million times … are totally ignored … cause we have the illusion of being the supreme intelligence.
And the price paid … the karmic price … is … huge.
Well … we have eyes to see and ears to hear … and even a friend with magic powers… like this lady i told you about … they are all useless…
Being in the illusion of the self …. we act as ignorants … and
….
Well … karma starts to appear as a bitch … even if it is mainly … a teacher.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
111
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
Being “weird” … actually a way of starting to act on the stage of the real life
Truth be told … we don’t really know how to act in life.
There is no manual about what we should do in all the
situations, or there are too many … books that define the
perfect case circumstances, which in fact never appear in a
real scene from life.
The result?!
… well … we just act weird.
Not knowing what we should really do, not understanding that we should always remain connected to the real self … and just be who we really are … we try to act differently. But …
Well … telling us that we act … weird … or simple … “Stop being weird!” …. is actually a polite way they try to define us.
So …. what should we really do when we don’t know what …
we should do?!
Should we stop following those paths?!
… i mean… get out of that scene?!
Or … continue … act however we can … and … see what’s happening?!
But a good question i have … is … what if it’s all a karmic episode of life … and we don’t really know how to act in the
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
112
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
best way?!
I smile … asking this question and looking back in time at myself.
I actually laugh … remembering how weird i acted, not being able to understand the karmic attributes of the story.
So … should we stop acting in any way if we don’t know how to act?!
Or … act however we can … do our best … even if we might
be defined as “weird”?!
What is the best path?!
Well … without starting to act and be on the stage of life for real … we might never learn how to act.
And yes … we might act silly, weird … look like idiots … but time is usually redefining everything.
Acting … just acting … is probably the only important thing … no matter how we do it.
I personally never knew to act properly in many, many situations … especially the karmic ones, but the time taught me how to do it… have the same situation repeated on and on and on …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
113
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
It’s all a dance, but you need to connect with the music
She wrote me again.
I liked her … but i always made the mistake of ignoring her. Many times she was upset cause i was not replying in time … but she liked me too … so she ignored this weird style of mine, many times.
But today …. I had time … so i read her message …
“Yes, I want to dance with you.
Tell me when to do it.
Well I have to do that too….
From morning till evening …. from the evening till morning I
have to do this.
Are you ready?!
Well my health is fine now
But my voice is still getting worse.
I don't know whether …. I will be able to sing songs or not.”
I ignored her most of the times, cause i had one million things to do …. but she reappeared on and on and on.
In fact she was like a ghost … but i was the same thing for her.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
114
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
I closed my eyes and tried to imagine the dance we should have.
It was … so beautiful … dancing.
Jennifer was smiling …. and i felt the joy also.
It was so damn … beautiful, but she was so, so far away by me.
Somehow we were karmic characters one for the other ….
and we had to reach each other an important life lesson. But what was that?!
I had to read her message again.
And again and again and again.
Jennifer was trying to whisper me …. just to stop all what i
was doing … and dance for an eternity with her … on and on and on …. as i use to say … or “from the morning till the evening and from the evening till the morning”.
In fact the message was simple.
To connect to the life … listen to the music … and enjoy the moment.
Yes … the meaning of “dance” was to simple enjoy the moment.
And Jennifer reminded that to me … so, so often.
But i could not hear that.
Maybe if she would be not so, so … far away.
And still … the moment was there … so close … but i was busy doing only and only unimportant things … ignoring the real values of life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
115
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
When it comes about saving your ass … no price is too high to be paid for that
I was in a restaurant, where i go frequently.
I eat, but also socialize in there, cause most of my business meetings i use to have in that place. I like it.
In fact i love the vibe of the place and this is probably why i go at that restaurant.
I know the owner and also lots of the people that visit the place.
But something weird happened recently.
You see … few weeks ago i hear Tom … the owner …. talking
to a gentleman about the permits of the place.
The other guy was a consultant and was explaining to Tom ….
that he needs to pay about 5000 dollars for making the activity 100% legal.
Walking together she started to tell me about her divorce … and could not realize how she could be changed … so, so much.
The emotional baggage … was … terrible.
Well … she wasn’t anymore that happy person from high school … that i used to know.
In fact … Tunde was indeed … a ruin.
Too bad …
I somehow changed my vibe … interacting with her … being sad for seeing my old friend like that.
I said to myself … it’s too bad we allow ourselves to come in such emotional and mental condition.
I believe that seeing a ruin is … horrible … and what is silly is
that some factors were allowed at a certain time to come
with such an influence.
So …
But maybe it’s something … karmic …
And i keep wondering myself … will i ever see her again … how she used to be?!
What the hell could heal her?!
Well … maybe just love … like a new love story …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
103
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
Watching Linda … and listening to her amazing music … i realized i was in love with … everything that defined her …
She was … perfect … and i adored her.
I always loved to write … fantasy.
One day my wife found on amazon the 10 published books with love essays … that i wrote not so long time ago … and … Well … i explained … of course that all it’s pure fantasy … and nothing more.
Today Paul … sent me an amazing movie with Linda … playing piano and suddenly i realized that deep inside me, same as Paul, i am looking for that perfect woman .. which i am searching by so, so many years.
I named it … my desire but also … my fantasy.
But you see … Linda … was a reflection of that desire.
I was watching her playing piano, but i was also analyzing
her beautiful body.
I adored her.
… her everything.
She was indeed … perfect.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
104
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
And yes … i could even say that i was in love with her … in my funny fantasy.
But why can’t such a person as Linda … be part of my reality?!
Maybe … it’s not related with my karma.
Or maybe i need to connect to a different type of profile … for a love story.
One totally different than the one that i defined in my fantasies.
Until then … i kept admiring her.
And Paul is laughing … seeing at me ….the same desires that
he defined by such a long time in our talks.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
105
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
I wonder if the torture … is …. karmic?!
I’ve been watching a movie with a guy who was torturing people in the communist times … in 1950’s.
With an unbelievable honesty … the guy is even speaking about the …. “pleasure of torturing them”.
During the years i’ve been reading lots of books about the nazi and communist times … the way they tortured and killed people.
It was a clear description of those times … done by the people that had those terrible experiences …
But one day … i’ve read in a spiritual book … that someone that killed in a previous life, will be probably killed in this life time … so who was that guy from the movie i talk about?!
A killer?! …. Or a karmic teacher?!
Should we judge that person?! …. Or ask ourselves what
means … from the karmic point of view … the experiences those people had when they were tortured or killed?! Were those experiences needed?! Were them … welcomed?!
What kind of energy could dominate a human being that speaks about … “the pleasure of torturing them”?!
Well … suddenly … i somehow understand that the whole picture … could be defined … as abstract.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
106
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
I was judging the torturer … but what was the lesson those people had during this lifetime .. by having such terrible experiences?!
What is the message behind the message?!
I personally wanted to write a long and angry comment to that movie … but then i asked myself …. why the Universe allowed this to happen?!
Now i realize that what i defined as a terrible experience ….
could be named abstract … or even better … when everything becomes clear … karmic.
So … I stoped myself posting that comment and said to myself that i need to meditate more … over those stories. And the question is … is the torture … of any kind … karmic?! My torturer could be … my wife …. or my kid.
again an abstract scenario … but if the Universe allows as this to happen … there is only one question i should ask … what is the message behind the message?!
Can i see behind … the abstract?!
Well …. maybe not yet and maybe other perspectives are too weird to consider them as having anything to do with the truth.
But … at least … i continue meditating. And … i stoped judging.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
107
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
No introduction at all … so i wonder myself … is it karmic?!
Eric accidentally met Maria in the train station.
Smiled her, but said …. not even a word to each other.
Later on … they met again in the lobby of the beautiful hotel where they were hosted … near the beach.
Eric smiled to her … and found the courage to say … “Wanna
join me on the beach?!”
Maria smiled … and agreed.
Few minutes later …even if they were not speaking the same language … in fact speaking just with a translator from the mobile phone …. Maria says …. “Why don’t we buy a rom and stay on the balcony from the hotel room?!”
So …. they bought the rom, went in the room and after few
minutes they started to kiss each other and … made love. The conversation itself was difficult cause the translator was not so good, but …still it proved that a man and a woman can have a relationship without speaking the same language. She finished the rom and then … left.
Eric remained alone on the balcony of the hotel , watching the sea and meditating about what happened with Maria.
He used to believe that a story had an introduction, the story itself and the end … but with Maria was totally different. It even looked as a … nonsense.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
108
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
The way everything happened so, so fast … and the way she left … not even saying … good bye … So … it was a story … about what?!
But few months later …. Maria calls him explaining she is
pregnant and they must meet and take a decision on what to really do with the baby.
Eric totally disliked it …. but things were the way they were …
and now they were in front of a karmic … question … So … what shall they do?!
A total non sense episode … suddenly appears as a karmic lesson … and it was not the first time when Eric was in such a situation.
You see … we know it … but … we ignore the karmic impact … and …
Most probably taking the right decision is … quite difficult ….
cause the karmic lessons are so, so abstract.
Not even having a great introduction … the influence on our lives after such stories … in many cases … is huge.
We should pay more attention to the nonsense, analyze and define it … cause one day there will come a moment with many, many … karmic decisions that should be taken wisely. But … theory is so … damn simple …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
109
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
It was the lesson … “Don’t be stupid again and again and again” … but i could not really understand it
I have a dear friend that has kind of magic powers of connecting to the Universe and tells all the time … don’t follow that path, or don’t do that or that … cause … But guess what?!
even if i understood that her powers are real … and also realize her good intentions … i ignored her one million times. So now my friend changed a little bit the way of speaking to me … saying … “Don’t be stupid again …”
In fact she uses the word “stupid” … so many times when talking to me … that it all became really annoying.
But … still …. I know that when she says something … probably 99% she is right.
So …. I analyze and try to define myself … and laugh. Even if i have informations about what i should not do and what i should do …. still … my mind is deciding to put me in the position of acting so, so …. silly.
Then … i look around me and i see the other people acting the same as me … and ask again myself why do i do that?! Well … maybe we don’t understand the karmic concepts about life … and their meaning.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
110
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
Today if i would define what karma is about ... i should mainly say … that is a lesson repeated on and on and on … till we understand it.
But we should see the message clear … to realize that deep inside of us … to understand that we can’t fool the … Universe.
A friend like mine … having magical powers is a real divine present in our lives … but … still …
I came to the conclusion … that being in the illusion of the self … we start to believe that we know everything and we are in the position of deciding whatever we want to decide. Not carrying about absolutely anything that is whispered by the Universe in one million ways … we do just what we believe we should do.
The signs … the karmic signs … repeated one million times … are totally ignored … cause we have the illusion of being the supreme intelligence.
And the price paid … the karmic price … is … huge.
Well … we have eyes to see and ears to hear … and even a friend with magic powers… like this lady i told you about … they are all useless…
Being in the illusion of the self …. we act as ignorants … and
….
Well … karma starts to appear as a bitch … even if it is mainly … a teacher.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
111
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
Being “weird” … actually a way of starting to act on the stage of the real life
Truth be told … we don’t really know how to act in life.
There is no manual about what we should do in all the
situations, or there are too many … books that define the
perfect case circumstances, which in fact never appear in a
real scene from life.
The result?!
… well … we just act weird.
Not knowing what we should really do, not understanding that we should always remain connected to the real self … and just be who we really are … we try to act differently. But …
Well … telling us that we act … weird … or simple … “Stop being weird!” …. is actually a polite way they try to define us.
So …. what should we really do when we don’t know what …
we should do?!
Should we stop following those paths?!
… i mean… get out of that scene?!
Or … continue … act however we can … and … see what’s happening?!
But a good question i have … is … what if it’s all a karmic episode of life … and we don’t really know how to act in the
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
112
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
best way?!
I smile … asking this question and looking back in time at myself.
I actually laugh … remembering how weird i acted, not being able to understand the karmic attributes of the story.
So … should we stop acting in any way if we don’t know how to act?!
Or … act however we can … do our best … even if we might
be defined as “weird”?!
What is the best path?!
Well … without starting to act and be on the stage of life for real … we might never learn how to act.
And yes … we might act silly, weird … look like idiots … but time is usually redefining everything.
Acting … just acting … is probably the only important thing … no matter how we do it.
I personally never knew to act properly in many, many situations … especially the karmic ones, but the time taught me how to do it… have the same situation repeated on and on and on …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
113
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
It’s all a dance, but you need to connect with the music
She wrote me again.
I liked her … but i always made the mistake of ignoring her. Many times she was upset cause i was not replying in time … but she liked me too … so she ignored this weird style of mine, many times.
But today …. I had time … so i read her message …
“Yes, I want to dance with you.
Tell me when to do it.
Well I have to do that too….
From morning till evening …. from the evening till morning I
have to do this.
Are you ready?!
Well my health is fine now
But my voice is still getting worse.
I don't know whether …. I will be able to sing songs or not.”
I ignored her most of the times, cause i had one million things to do …. but she reappeared on and on and on.
In fact she was like a ghost … but i was the same thing for her.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
114
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
I closed my eyes and tried to imagine the dance we should have.
It was … so beautiful … dancing.
Jennifer was smiling …. and i felt the joy also.
It was so damn … beautiful, but she was so, so far away by me.
Somehow we were karmic characters one for the other ….
and we had to reach each other an important life lesson. But what was that?!
I had to read her message again.
And again and again and again.
Jennifer was trying to whisper me …. just to stop all what i
was doing … and dance for an eternity with her … on and on and on …. as i use to say … or “from the morning till the evening and from the evening till the morning”.
In fact the message was simple.
To connect to the life … listen to the music … and enjoy the moment.
Yes … the meaning of “dance” was to simple enjoy the moment.
And Jennifer reminded that to me … so, so often.
But i could not hear that.
Maybe if she would be not so, so … far away.
And still … the moment was there … so close … but i was busy doing only and only unimportant things … ignoring the real values of life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
115
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
When it comes about saving your ass … no price is too high to be paid for that
I was in a restaurant, where i go frequently.
I eat, but also socialize in there, cause most of my business meetings i use to have in that place. I like it.
In fact i love the vibe of the place and this is probably why i go at that restaurant.
I know the owner and also lots of the people that visit the place.
But something weird happened recently.
You see … few weeks ago i hear Tom … the owner …. talking
to a gentleman about the permits of the place.
The other guy was a consultant and was explaining to Tom ….
that he needs to pay about 5000 dollars for making the activity 100% legal.
