Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
16
PARALLEL LIVES … A WAY OF ENJOYING OUR FANTASIES
philosophical essays
Switching realities is an amazing … game.
In psychology there are lots of tricks used to change our inner feelings … into better.
The short story is that … whenever we don’t like how our lives look like …. or we realize we had become unhappy ….
could remember something beautiful from our past …. or
think of something great that could happen into the near future …. or simple change the scene where we are.
Imagine you have problems at work … but also at home. You could decide to leave your office 30 minutes before … and arrive home 30 minutes later …
Go into a park …. one with not so many people ….walk …
disconnect from everything mean problems into your life … and realize all these are in fact … illusory.
I remember that one time a friend …. from Morroco told me
that … after work he goes all the time at a coffee shop with his friends … disconnects from all the problems from work … then goes home.
He explained me that he actually accepts being part of environments with all sorts of energies ... but learn to also disconnect from those realities. His job … was one universe.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
17
PARALLEL LIVES … A WAY OF ENJOYING OUR FANTASIES
philosophical essays
He needed this business to feed his family.
His family … was another universe … a very important one. Connecting and disconnecting from these realities … trying to live into the best way in any of those worlds … but also manage as no interference to appear … is probably … extremely important.
We finally realize that a good life is based on the knowledge of … or maybe i could even say the art of … connecting and disconnecting … of all those realities where we live in.
And if we know to do it right … then we have a … good life.
… also … why not … even beautiful.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
18
PARALLEL LIVES … A WAY OF ENJOYING OUR FANTASIES
philosophical essays
Sometimes all we
want it’s a cake … but what’s wrong with that?!
Analyzing myself … but also many people which i’ve met over the years …. I’ve realized that after wanting that or that or
that or that … we come to a point when we actually realize that only simple things can make us really happy.
In fact we understand that actually all the desires … are somehow useless.
Real happiness … never comes.
I remember i met one time a very wealthy guy … owning a corporation … which was explaining me that the best thing for him at the moment is to ride his bike into the mountains. After chasing for so many years to have a huge company … and tens of millions of dollars … he realized …. he could enjoy life with his family at the mountains and … be happy.
And i’ve heard lots of other weird situations as that.
For me … personally … drinking an amazing coffee into a
good coffee shop is great.
It relaxes me a lot.
Gives me … energy.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
19
PARALLEL LIVES … A WAY OF ENJOYING OUR FANTASIES philosophical essays
I even told to a religious person that for me being into a coffee shop is like for him … going to the church …. but of course I’ve annoyed that person … saying that.
But one of the most unexplainable cases is the one of my friends over 40 … that start to have love affairs.
And … i find it weird cause …. I see at all of them no intention
to do something real … or expect enjoying the moments of being together.
My friend Brian … who is in love all the time of another lady … recently told me … “Sometimes all we want it’s a cake … but what’s wrong with that?!” …. and somehow i was not understanding the real meaning of his words.
But … time was revealing me … the truth.
We don’t always want to live into the real world.
We chase for an ideal world.
… for fantasies.
What Brian defined me as a “cake” is actually about … fantasies.
In one point we realize we can stop the time … simple by enjoying life …. In different forms.
For my wealthy friend owning a corporation it’s about riding his bike into the forest from the mountain … for me drinking one coffee … then another one and another one …
For Brian … that “cake” …. was about enjoying a lady … and a
new one … and then another one.
all done without any purpose at all … but enjoying the life itself.
We all might look weird …. but maybe we are not.
We probably realized … that life is much beautiful when we
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
20
PARALLEL LIVES … A WAY OF ENJOYING OUR FANTASIES
philosophical essays
don’t follow the standard paths … the humans are following.
whatever that means … without carrying who is judging us and in what way.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
21
PARALLEL LIVES … A WAY OF ENJOYING OUR FANTASIES
philosophical essays
Whatever we live in the present moment is the perfect scenario for us … even if many times we just dislike it …. a lot
I see lots of people …. unhappy.
Unhappy … but still many of them dreaming of a new life … a much better one.
I see this huge desire of jumping between one reality …. into
another.
But … when i start to analyze them deeper … i suddenly realize that they actually have perfect lives.
.. at least this is how it looked into my perception … but they had a totally different view about everything.
The best way in how they would describe their lives is that they just … hate … all what is going on. And it’s so … so weird.
From outside … i trend to believe that i have a much clear view about the whole picture …. and i could swear that … all those people are just blinds.
Well … the same blindness Paul told me about few days ago
when he called me … saying … “You speak so easy about others … but i see you unhappy most of the times.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
22
PARALLEL LIVES … A WAY OF ENJOYING OUR FANTASIES philosophical essays
You dream … like all those people … about a better tomorrow … but …that tomorrow never comes.
You have a beautiful house, a good wife, nice kids … your business are running well … but still … you are not happy. You are in the standards of all what a person needs to be happy nowadays.
And your ugly face is …. unhappy all the time.
Can you define me this nonsense … before talking about the others?!”
Jumping with my analysis from defining the other to defining my own life … i start to understand the message Paul was sending to me.
But … unfortunately … same as the others i started to believe that …. my reality was not good.
I wanted to be part of a totally different world.
To jump from this reality to a totally different one.
A reality … related too much with the fantasies from my mind.
I actually started to ignore …. my real life.
And i did this …. cause i was just hating it.
I could not see any beauty … inside of it … even if some of the people around me where saying that i actually live the perfect case scenario of what we trend to define as a … beautiful life.
Well …. maybe i was not understanding that the Infinite
Intelligence knows better what is perfect for me … and i continued to believe …. I was smarter.
… which probably was totally ridiculous of me.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
23
PARALLEL LIVES … A WAY OF ENJOYING OUR FANTASIES
philosophical essays
Sometimes we act like actors … and there are times when we act as
really great actors. And life becomes … better
and better.
I recently saw a great love movie at the cinema.
an italian production. And i was impressed.
A beautiful lady from Milan … in love with a married man … seeing that she almost has no chance … but just be part of his parallel life … abandoned all her desires and obsessions. She was balancing all the time between being happy and unhappy … and that was ruining her soul … daily.
The relationship itself was amazing … but in the end she was
just his love … from a parallel world.
Every second spent together was …. amazing.
but every time he had to leave to his real life … her world was collapsing.
And this was happening everyday. On and on … and on.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
24
PARALLEL LIVES … A WAY OF ENJOYING OUR FANTASIES philosophical essays
She was actually living an amazing love story scenario like in a hollywoodian movie …. but also a nightmare … feeling that
she was just a part of his life …. but never part of his real
life.
Everyday …. she was meditating more and more … looking
for guidance … for following the best path for them … but … Time was passing … and one day she decided at least to try to accept everything … just as it is.
She convinced herself to act as an actress … that is pretending that she is seeing only the beautiful side of everything between the 2 of them.
And the real truth was that … all between them was amazing.
She loved him and … he loved her a lot.
She only disliked that she was not part of his real life … but still … all was perfect between them.
So … all she had to do was only to pretend that she was not seeing some things …
And suddenly the emotional balance of her contradictory emotions … just disappeared. She was acting like an actress.
Day by day … she became better and better.
She was really acting like a great actress … and she stoped balancing between happiness and unhappiness. And all started to be … ok.
I left the cinema … wondering … what if indeed sometimes we need to act as actors …. and pretend we don’t see certain things.
Or …. maybe realize it’s all about focusing on the right side of
the story.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
25
PARALLEL LIVES … A WAY OF ENJOYING OUR FANTASIES
philosophical essays
Analyze other standards … and you’ll be amazed of the beauty of this Universe
All my friends which are more than 35-40 … seem to have 2 main obsessions … money and ladies.
I look at them … and indeed i see also … my reflection.
I am not different than them.
Yes …. I admit it.
But trying to understand what is behind this obsession … i somehow realize that society itself made us believe that these are 2 main paths that we should follow.
The obsession itself …. or the obsessions … are … what
others told us … is the best for us.
I’m not going to waste my time now to talk about money … but i’d love to talk about … my other obsession … the ladies. And the main question is why the hell we have in mind all the time …. a certain type of woman?!
what others believe is the best … is really the best for us?! I had the chance to see by accident … a movie with a lady dancing … in what i could define as a parallel universe … the arabic world.
Then i continued my studies … looking for how the perfect woman looks like in India .. or Japan.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
26
PARALLEL LIVES … A WAY OF ENJOYING OUR FANTASIES philosophical essays
And i write again about the subject … first because i love it … and second because i finally understand why my book “Influencing and being influenced” … is doing so well.
Then the real question that comes into my mind is … what is the best woman for myself?!
Analyzing all those parallel worlds … european, american, indian … etc … but also seeing all more like a fantasy …. I ask
myself … again and again … what is the best profile for me?! I need to understand better this world.
This is my number 3 …. obsession.
Comparing the fantasies from my mind … and also the ones from internet … with my own reality … hearing again the same question … “what is the best?” … i dare for a second to accept that …. maybe the best is exactly what i have now … in the present moment.
All the standards i hear about … are something related with parallel universes … which i could continue dreaming about … or just stop doing it.
Enjoying … the present moment … whatever that means …
might be the key ….
A wise thing to do.
Yes … somehow is useless … to live in so many parallel worlds … when i could focus all my attention only and only … on my reality … whatever that means.
But still … i keep exploring … enjoying my duality.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
27
PARALLEL LIVES … A WAY OF ENJOYING OUR FANTASIES
philosophical essays
Interferences can appear in any relationship … it’s really normal.
But letting ourselves be dominated by them … being jealous
… it’s useless.
I’ve started to have an obsession.
… a new one.
Not being a philosopher, not a psychologist, not a therapist
but just an ordinary person and a simple thinker … daring to try to be happy … i’ve started to study …. why we are … unhappy.
Why … for example jealousy exists and why it destroys the beauty … even of amazing relationships?!
How can we deal in front of such emotions as … jealousy?! Is it normal … when you love someone?!
It’s actually a sign of love?!
Should we accept that as part of a love story?!
I try to analyze and define jealousy … but also search for a way of redefining this negative emotion into a positive thing for the love story.
I keep … meditating.
I analyze even my own life … but as always it’s much easier to look at the others around myself.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
28
PARALLEL LIVES … A WAY OF ENJOYING OUR FANTASIES philosophical essays
And analyzing the couples i know … i finally accept that any relationship has … interferences.
Or maybe … just great love stories … like Romeo and Juliet…
are a little bit different.
Today … society is changed.
In fact … totally changed.
People have … lots of romance experiences … and just the lucky ones … have the chance to meet … what we use to define … as soul mates.
But looking deeper … i still see the influences from the past … and even interferences that appear into the present moment. We can’t delete … the past.
We can’t forget of the beautiful side of love stories from our past … but we also can’t stop ourselves dreaming of unwritten fantasies from the present moment. We somehow cheat … just with our minds.
We like one element at someone …. another one at someone
else … and we allow ourselves to … flirt … without doing anything for real.
We do it into a unconscious way.
Both … men and women.
We simple allow from time to time … as fantasies to interfere with reality … as a simple innocent game.
I look … beyond reality … trying to understand this desire of living at least as flirting …. these fantasies as parallel realities.
And analyzing … the others … i find it as normal …
A sign of the fact that the relationships we have are not at 100% of the maximum potential.
