SELF THERAPHY: ... a way of healing our souls

14.08.2023, 17:26 Автор: Adrian Gabriel Dumitru

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       Last few days did not write so much anymore.
       Had one million things that distracted me … a lot …. so that i
       actually lost my focus.
       
       Writing was for me in the last few years … kind of a therapy … which i describe all the time as … self therapy.
       I know people that goes to a psychiatric … and ones to a psychologist … but also ones that decided to have a private coach.
       
       All they try to do is to become a better version of themselves … same as i was doing.
       And i also know people that talk about their problems and the real paths that they should follow … with their close friends or relatives.
       The real question is … what is the best path?!
       Well … again i ask difficult questions.
       Most probably we should follow the path which we feel that
       helps us the most, but in the end … after accumulating lots of
       
       knowledge and having lots of life experiences … we could
       stop counting on the hours … and expect as the help to come
       from … the inner self.
       Ask us questions.
       Connect to the self.
       Analyze.
       
       
       Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
       
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       SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
       
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       Try to understand who we are, what we want, why we are in this universe … and what should be the real paths that we should follow.
       
       Have a normal life with whatever that means and in the meantime … any chance we would have … to connect to the inner self … that is the gateway to the Universe … which actually means the Infinite … all it exists.
       Of course that we could start discussing with friends, family members … or people having the same interests like us … but
       
       later on … we might realize that being a little bit introvert
       
       and living in the inner world more than we live in the outer world …. might not be so bad as we might believe.
       And talking with ourselves … on and on and on … starts the non ending process of self therapy.
       But … most important … keep in mind the fact that therapy … of any kind … makes sense only and only if we can be honest enough.
       
       Otherwise is just a …. lie.
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
       
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       The only thing … real important
       in life … is start following the path to awakening.
       
       
       
       I am writing.
       
       I am actually writing everyday … mostly in the morning and in the night.
       And i publish all i write.
       Some people start believing that i am a professional writer ….
       
       but i am just following the path of therapy.
       The one … i called self therapy.
       
       So … i analyze and define the way i see life … and all my experiences in this universe.
       And i am sure that sometimes i look even … ridiculous … but
       i decided not to stop this path of therapy … which i started to like a lot.
       The funny thing is that i started to understand a meaning to all the pathless paths i was following for such a long, long time.
       
       If in the beginning it made me angry to see that i am not doing what i should really do … forgetting the real purpose of why i am here …. I ended changing all my perceptions … understanding that all those pathless paths where revealing the fact that life itself … and also my own life …. does not have a real purpose …. except maybe … the one of following the path of … awakening.
       
       
       Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
       
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       We understand life … mostly through our experiences … which in most of the cases are appearing as monsenses as in the end to … start thinking of … chasing …. following the real path …
       But what does that mean?!
       Well … in my case … i decided to not be so attached anymore of anything … but also see myself as a part of everything this universe means.
       
       Being conscious of the meaning of the pathless paths … the only real option became …
       Well … even saying that i am following the path of awakening is a real over reaction … but it’s actually my new desire … But don’t believe that i am not following anymore any pathless paths … but ….
       I probably became more detached of everything … seeing all my experiences as lessons … in fact life lessons.
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
       
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       Sex … can be kind of a therapy.
       A very, very …. powerful one.
       
       
       
       
       It happens i know a guy that looks and acts a prince. His family is very, very rich and they live in a house that could be defined as a palace.
       
       The funny thing is that this guy … even if he has all what a man of his age could want … is going 2- 3 times a week to visit his mistress in a very small studio, that is in a building close to the coffee shop where i use to go.
       When i am drinking my coffee and see his car there … i just smile.
       I once asked him … “How are you?! Why you hurry so much?! Come and join with me at a coffee…”
       “No. I really can’t. I’m going home … and she is waiting for me ….”
       He was really honest … and anyway she knew that i know his mistress and his story … so we just shake hands and he left. I was somehow amazed that a guy owning a palace ….
       
       named the little studio where his mistress was living … “home”.
       How the hell … this wealthy guy … that was indeed kind of a prince … practicing opulence all the time … could feel at home in that tiny place?!
       
       Weeks … and months were passing … and i was seeing him again and again … going there.
       
       
       Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
       
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       Yesterday met him again and politely said … “Hey friend! How are you?!”
       He had a great vibe … and replied to me ….
       “I’m having my therapy session at … my home.
       
       I think you already know that sex can be a real therapy for someone of our age.”
       Smiles, shakes my hand and leaves.
       I was drinking my coffee alone at the coffee shop … meditating all the time … and this guy … with 2-3 sessions of “therapy” a week at his mistress … looked in a much better position as myself.
       I started to wonder myself which type of therapy is better?!
       Self therapy?!
       The therapy with a coach?!
       The therapy with a mistress?!
       Well … indeed … sex can be kind of a therapy …. especially
       
       for my friend … but i was still looking for a help that could come from my inner self.
       And i was waiting … on and on and on.
       Most probably i was doing something wrong.
       
       Maybe i was not believing 100% in the concept itself?! My friend … defined the little studio of his mistress …. his
       
       home … but i was not feeling home while closing my eyes … meditating … and staying alone with my inner self … But why?!
       
       Maybe i was not connected with my inner self?!
       Hmm …
       I did not really understood what it was going on … but probably i need to meditate more.
       … and understand the meaning of “home” …
       
       
       Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
       
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       Searching and finally
       connecting to other vibes … such an amazing trick
       
       
       
       Sheila wrote me today.
       She was in Mexico this time with Evelina.
       I know both or them … and what i also know is that every time things don’t go well in their lives … they just abandon everything … buy ticket planes to amazing destinations … and
       totally disconnect from the story from home. Somehow they do this trick as a … therapy.
       
       And … sometimes when it’s really bad … i see that Sheila is alone in her trips around the world.
       So i started to meditate more and more at those 2 friends … asking myself at the importance of disconnecting from certain energies … when we realize that we really don’t feel comfortable on the scene of our own lives.
       Hmm …
       So .. changing the scene … means actually disconnecting from certain vibes?!
       And … going to vacation … becomes a therapy that helps you change your vibe?!
       Did Sheila knew what she was doing?!
       
       Or she was doing all that into a unconscious way?!
       Well … i dare to say that the trick of switching the scenes of life …. is indeed a very good one.
       
       
       Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
       
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       Could be probably defined as a self therapy … cause we simple take the decision of being in another kind … of energetic field.
       
       Forgetting about all the illusory problems from the present moment …. that most of the time just ruin us emotionally …
       
       we switch the vibe … and we realize we can enjoy life again. Of course that Sheila and Evelina are over reacting …. going
       
       to very expensive vacations … but even as an ordinary person … not having a huge budget to spent … you could go to a parc … or to a forest … or go fishing … or simple take the train …. go to the mountain or sea … and try to connect to the vibes from the nature.
       
       Analyzing and defining those tricks … but also exploring them
       
       trying to see what it happens if we do like that … could indeed improve our lives.
       In the end … it’s all about the decision of … enjoying life again … and again … and again.
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
       
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       Theory is so damn simple … but when we are on the scene of real life … we just practice the nonsense
       
       
       
       Maybe the whole meaning of life is to get to the point of awakening.
       Understand the illusion of the self … get rid of our egos and become one with the absolute.
       Most probably … for us … the ordinary people that is a path … almost impossible to find …
       But in one point of life …. the luckiest ones …. hear about
       those paths …. and an interesting journey starts.
       Starting to understand into a theoretical way the whole process … we realize the meaning of all what is going on … but also how we should really act on the stage of life. We analyze ourselves.
       We define our beings …. in one million ways … having
       moments of believing that everything is revealed to us.
       A false awakening is overwhelming us.
       And …
       Well … we start to believe …. that it was so damn easy …. not
       
       understanding the tests of illusions … that we will need to pass …. so that we reach that level … defined as … awakening.
       
       It all becomes a weird balance between awakening and false awakening.
       
       
       Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
       
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       And this continues on and on and on.
       The tests given by the Universe … will be more and more abstract.
       It will all appear as a repetitive illusion … but the funny thing will probably be … that even if we know it’s all an illusion … will believe it’s real all the time.
       
       We all understand the philosophical or spiritual theoretical concepts, but … in the real life .. on the real scene … we all remain non sense practicians.
       
       And we fail …. on and on and on.
       
       We see the path … the real one … but we just can’t follow it. We prove having a handicap … probably a mental one …. and nothing really improves into our spiritual status.
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
       
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       Getting rid of the Ego … it’s a must
       
       
       
       
       The moment i open any social media app … i see that personal growth … became just a way of making us understand how we can improve not our real self … but the Ego.
       It’s all about money, desires, material goods, success … and showing to the whole world our greatness.
       And the messages are repeated on and on and on …. and so
       many people believe in all that.
       I see lots of them … ordinary persons … from all around the world …. liking and posting comments with their thoughts …
       
       telling us that this is the path we should all … just follow. But getting back in time … analyzing myself again and again and again …. trying to connect to my real self … and actually
       understand the sense of all my actions …. I suddenly
       remember that not so long time ago i was focused a lot on those ideas of personal growth.
       The same person was loving those ideas from all those books
       
       defined as … amazing … but today is believing that those things are just … lies.
       But why i am so, so contradictory?! What changed?!
       Did i became a different person?!
       Or maybe i am more connected with my inner self?! But who i really am?!
       What really changed?!
       
       Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
       
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       Why from being a promoter of personal growth … i somehow became a person that looks totally against those ideas?! Hmm …. I am still analyzing myself … trying to understand
       
       why the actual me has totally different perceptions than the one i was …. not so long time ago. Why am i so contradictory?!
       
       How could i give books about personal growth to so many people that in the end to tell them … it’s all a lie?! Why i started to dislike those concepts?!
       
       Well … maybe i realized that my real evolution should be into our inner world … not in the material one.
       And not what we see with the eyes is important … but … Hmm … to tell you the real truth … i realized i need to get rid of my Ego …. and personal growth was only teaching me how i could have a stronger one.
       Maybe i was right … or not … but today i was feeling like i have to disconnect from my outer self and be one … just with … my inner soul.
       But … who the hell knows what else i will believe tomorrow.
       Maybe … my perceptions will change again.
       Again and again and again …. and i’ll continue being
       contradictory.
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
       
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       Any relationship can be focused on the
       pleasure of …. being together
       
       
       
       
       Ordinary people usually miss from home about half a day … but still the other half … is spent most of the time in the company of their partners … and all the other family members.
       But it’s weird cause even if i knew so many couples that i used to see happy while being together … i can’t see that joy at them anymore.
       
       I simple can’t see it.
       
       It’s like either i am blind … when it comes about seeing the happiness itself … or most probably …. that joy of being
       
       together … totally disappeared… not being anymore part of their plans.
       On the path of life … they lost their focus on the relationship itself.
       The other desires they had … started to dominate their lives
       and maybe they stoped chasing that joy of being together. Maybe they wanted a house … a car … have a life full filled with anything they see at the others … and ….
       
       Analyzing my own life … i should define all those paths that i chased for so, so many years in a row … as … pathless paths. But … still … even if i try practicing the self therapy … it’s much easier for me to keep analyzing and defining the lives of the people that i see on the scene on my life.
       
       
       Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
       
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