I knew its meaning in our lives.
I knew its power.
But …. again and again and again … i ignored it.
I had to follow the path of connecting to the Universe …. and
ask whatever i had in mind.
My inner soul … was the gateway.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
71
SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS motivational essays
But as usual .. i kept acting silly … on and on and on …. not
understanding that the spiritual concepts i knew about … are not simple theoretical concepts … but …
I knew theory … but maybe i had to disconnect from the other world …. and start living in my own universe.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
72
SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
motivational essays
One day i realized … that not knowing what to do … i’ve become … kind of a … statue.
Sometimes … i’m doing too many things on the stage of my own life.
Sometimes … i just look around … and wonder myself … what the hell is really going on?!
But recently … i somehow changed.
I became more …. passive.
I could even dare to define myself as being and acting … as a statue … more than a human being.
I smile seeing and understanding … how i metamorphosed myself over the years … becoming in end … so absent from my reality.
Maybe it’s all part of my evolution … even if i did not asked to
follow that path.
But it’s ok.
I started to like being … a statue.
I have more time to …. observe the world.
To analyze it.
To define it … so that in the end … to understand deeper the meaning of this world … why it exists and why i am here. Becoming a statue … i started to disconnect from the world around myself … and actually look for that world … from my soul.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
73
SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
motivational essays
And i have no regrets.
… cause i enjoy it.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
74
SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
motivational essays
Deprivations , failure
my imperfection always push me to write
(Arij Emaan)
Well … i use to write in the morning … while drinking my coffee … and then late in the night when i drink my tea.
I start with hope … but many times i end the day … feeling … emotionally tired.
It’s weird … but i felt that so, so many times.
Then i change the word … weird … with … funny.
So … my essays from the morning … carries hope … and the ones in the night …. Hmm …
But i like my thoughts …. and my ideas.
I like them … cause i started to accept my all … sides … no matter how could be defined.
I look a lot with Arij … even if we never met.
She is kind of … an imaginary friend … but still … she is real.
Or at least … i hope so.
I look at her … how she’s defining her own imperfections … and …
Well …. I start to understand myself better … writing,
defining and realizing all about myself.
Writing becomes in the end … a therapy.
One …. that might help … to cure our lost souls.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
75
SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
motivational essays
It’s all about the focus
… and which side of life we see
It’s autumn again … but the weather it’s still nice.
A close … dear friend … sent me a nice movie from the park
…
It was a movie that defined this season … and it’s beautiful side.
I saw a nice vibe in there.
It was Sunday and my friend enjoyed the walk into the park
…
For only a second i realized the meaning of his message … but then i let myself dominated again by the problems related with my properties.
For me it was indeed Sunday too … but … i was losing my time with different kinds of technical problems at my houses. But problems did not stoped to appear. One.
And another one.
And then … a new and new one.
By why the hell such a huge difference between my life and the life of my friend.
Why the hell … he could enjoy the walk in the park … and the autumn … but i could not do it?!
What was the difference between the 2 of us?!
I start meditating a little bit … and going deeper and deeper
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
76
SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
motivational essays
i became socked … realizing that i don’t even want to go to
the park … like my friend was doing.
How could i admire the nature from there … if i have no intention of connecting to those vibes of the autumn?! Indeed … the difference between the 2 of us was … the focus. My friend focus all his attention … and invested his time … in finding a path of harmony for his soul … but i was spending all my time …. including the sundays …. being focused on
making money … and make everything work well …. so that i
could get more and more from my businesses.
I did not cared about the message sent by the autumn.
I could not see the artistic message.
I was totally blinded … by my focus on more and more and more.
The path of harmony … and the inner peace was not in my area of interest.
Comparing my life style … with the life style of my friend …. I
somehow understand the power of focus … but i still don’t take the decision of connecting … at least from time to time ….to beautiful vibes.
It’s so damn simple and clear … but i still act so, so silly on the stage of life.
My values … are too much related with money, material goods … and nothing related with the vibes.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
77
SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
motivational essays
Being useless … it’s probably my best definition.
Or maybe i am just disconnected.
Petra wrote me again.
Somehow she likes me … and i like her too.
And even if we are of opposite sex …. we can have really
open discussions … most of the times.
But today she made me smile … defining me .. as a crook … cause someone told her that i am like that.
In the past … i would be mad … if someone would tell me something like that … but … today … i simple don’t care of what others tell or think about me.
Later on … helping a lady with something that it was very simple by my side to solve … she started to thank to me one million times … defining me … in an amazing way.
For her was extremely important as someone to help her …
cause she was not from my country … but for me was just …
piece of cake.
And i just did it.
In the night Mahima … wrote me also … and as usual i ignored her … but she got annoyed this time … telling me that … I’m useless.
I smiled again …. realizing that it’s the day of being defined.
But it was more funnier … cause they defined me in so contradictory ways.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
78
SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS motivational essays
So … what the hell was the truth?!
Was i a crook?!
A person with a great soul?!
Or maybe a useless person for this society?!
I did not felt that neither of those informations… are related
with my real self … and i did not even bothered to agree or
disagree with them.
I felt disconnected.
… totally disconnected.
But i was glad … i did not felt anymore influenced of their opinions.
I was … on my journey.
On the path of my own life, i had moments when i was acting indeed in one million ways … being a good, but also a bad person …. Knowing and not knowing how to really act.
I let the people that observe me … to define whatever they want to define … but i strongly keep my right of …. ignoring them.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
79
SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
motivational essays
Knowing how to live in multiple universes … almost in the same time … it’s an art.
When it comes about discussing the subject of multiple universes … the idea itself looks quite tricky, but also … weird … to many, many people.
But all what i am trying to say is that our homes represent one universe … the close friends another one … the work also another one etc etc.
That it’s probably an usual structure for life in the nowadays society … but still not so many people realize that. Hundreds of years ago … maybe it was easier.
Today … the contemporary human being, forced by
circumstances… but also by the desire of success … in all its
different forms … needs to be part of more and more totally
different worlds.
And that’s ok.
the only real problem is not that we are somehow forced to have a different lifestyle than a human being from 100 years ago … but the fact that we cannot manage the interferences between all those worlds.
And the problems from home influence our activities from work, the problems from work don’t allow us to be calm when we arrive home … losing our ability to connect with the family … or close friends etc etc.
Basically … all those worlds where we daily spend time … interfere between them … and influences from one side … usually destroy the harmony from the other sides.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
80
SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS motivational essays
Button line … when the things go wrong in one area of our lives … almost as a chain reaction … everything else it’s affected.
And … we see how the marriage is destroying the career … or vice versa … or a fight with a close friend … continues into our minds … on and on and on … not letting us … doing our duties into another roles we have. Everything becomes … fucked up.
One little thing … that annoys us … combined with our silly ability of amplifying and over reacting …. destroys all.
And if someone would ask … what the hell is going on … we could not give a proper answer.
We don’t even realize or understand the concept of interference.
But it’s funny cause we continue life … just like that … ending up many times being ruined emotionally.
… having no clue … of why life it’s so horrible.
We don’t even try to understand the psychological mechanisms … or the spiritual techniques of disconnecting from energies that destroy our inner peace.
We don’t realize the importance of understanding the concept
of chain reaction .. or the one of multiple universes where we need to live.
But maybe we need to suffer … and destroy the harmony from all the aspects of our lives …. to realize we should not allow … the interferences.
The work, the marriage … our closest friends … should not affect anything related with other roles we have in life.
We should learn the art of managing the energies around us. All those invisible powerful forces …. that not allow us to
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
81
SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
motivational essays
have a peaceful life.
To enjoy … being alive.
To live … in harmony.
In the end … we could conclude that knowing how to live in all those different worlds … understanding the roles in life, but not accepting the interferences … could be defined as … an art.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
82
SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
motivational essays
You can get rid of domination of any kind simple … by disconnecting. Then everything will become … history.
I use to know people which were very nice … and i could even define them as … beautiful soul.
But …. somehow they got lost over the years and saw a
tremendous change at them … till the moment when .. i actually could not recognize them anymore.
It was because of marriage…. a new job … and many, many
other reasons … but i was not anymore in the position of being able to define them as … beautiful souls.
Or maybe … i could not see anymore their beautiful side … But as you already know … life is a circle.
And …. I see them becoming again ….what they used to be.
I like that …
The question is … what the hell really happened?? First … and second time also.
Well … i could simple answer to this question … by defining the story of my own life.
I felt many times dominated by the outside world … whatever that was.
Maybe a relationship …
or a circle of new friends.
the influence of family.
a new job.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
83
SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
motivational essays
I felt myself being trapped into an world … and i lost myself.
… totally.
The energy of those worlds where i was in … dominated me
and there was no place anymore for showing to the world
my spirit.
I was actually eclipsed… and become irrelevant. Did not like it … but could not find the power to do absolutely…. nothing.
Until one day …. when i realized that i can simple disconnect
from those energies that dominated me.
and leave those worlds. Whatever it was about …
But it took me so, so much time to realize that the first thing i need to do … when i feel dominated … is to simple … disconnect of that energy field.
It was so damn simple …. and i’ve been … so, so idiot.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
84
SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
motivational essays
“Ultimate truth is wordless.
The silence within the silence.”
Pirke Avot
I eat a cake, but the cake had something inside … that destroys me a teeth.
I touch with the tongue on the broken teeth … and i feel an irritation that is not allowing me speak ok … anymore.
In fact speaking … suddenly became difficult. I had to simple speak less … or stop speaking. …. but i loved to speak …
So i asked myself … what the hell?!
Why this happened?!
I totally disagreed … with the fact that i probably had to … shut up for few days … till i get healed.
But looking again at the movie … “Samadhi” …. done by a
close friend of mine … i see the words from Pirke Avot … words that not so long time ago i could define as … total nonsense.
So … maybe the Universe … was sending me a message … and that was to … shut up … and probably connect to the … silence of Infinity.
Truth be told … i was living in chaos … and spent too much time … talking with the people from the timeline of my life about … my perceptions.
I was actually trying to define the truth.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
85
SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
motivational essays
the absolute truth … not realizing that this is probably … wordless.
No word could define it.
Or maybe the silence could make me understand … the real meaning of this Universe.
Hmmm….
My life was connected to the chaos of the outside world. The silence …. was not in my area of interest.
It was so funny, cause a silly incident … eating a cake … was forcing me to … practice … the silence.
This weird concept of silence … within the silence that … i was so afraid of.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
