It happens i have a great friend … which is today 5 years old. I know him … by almost a year and even if we don’t speak the same language … we communicate very, very well. Today i’ve suggested him to go together to the supermarket and buy him a chocolate … and he understood me right away. We’ve entered the shop … showed him where the candies were … took one …. but i’ve suggested him to take more.
And …. he started to take another one … and another one
and … another one.
He actually took 2-3 of every type of chocolate…. and he was
smiling cause he could buy whatever he wanted.
When we wanted to pay them … the lady from supermarket was totally surprised that we take so many … but my little friend was really happy.
I could not stop myself … laughing … while watching him buying that and that … and that.
Of course … i had to pay at the end … for the experiment with my little friend … but i did not mind.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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But …. I’ve asked myself … if at 5 we just want all the
candies from the supermarket … how will we be at 25?! Or at 30? Or 40?!
Why do we always want more?!
More of that … more of that … more of that … Where this desire of more comes from?!
Maybe my little friend had the fear that his mother will not buy him soon too much candies … so he abused now … cause he wanted to have everything for 2-3 weeks. How will my friend act 20 years from now?!
Do i see myself … while watching him?!
Well … yes … i see myself … being same as him…. just that
the desires are different.
And it makes total sense that i’m friend with this little guy.
He wants more candies … i want more money, more
published books etc etc.
But why?!
So … maybe my theory is right.
The desire of more is indeed …. a fear.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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The desire of being
adored … so difficult to be defined.
I was looking at my dear friend Sheila … and tried to understand … why she had this unstoppable desire of being … adored.
She really loved to see all the men around herself … turning their heads … and look after her.
It was like an infinite desire … of seeing more and more men doing that … everyday.
But … you see … Sheila was my friend.
… a real one.
Analyzing her … but also having amazing philosophical discussions… by so many times …. Sheila made me understand better and better the feminine soul.
And of course … i’ve revealed to her also … lots of unknown secrets about … the masculine psychology … and the meaning of many things that they defined as non sense … but were so logical for us.
I continued looking at her … at her behavior… trying to understand her magnetism and the desire of being adored. But this time … i was not judging her.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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I was …. simple … trying to understand her … as a friend.
All …. what i saw as a … nonsense.
In fact … a total nonsense.
… at least in my perspective.
Smiling to her … i’ve dare to ask … “What do you think it’s behind this idea that dominates you … of being adored by all the men from the scene of your life?!”
Sheila smiled saying … “Listen … it’s something normal … for ladies …. to desire that.
Speak with anyone … and they will confirm you…”
“Well …. I did not asked if it is normal or not … but what is
behind this desire … of being admired by all the men from the world.
Frankly … as a man … if i would look at a lady … having also a huge fantasy about the subject … i would just think of sex
and nothing more.
how it would be to have sex with that lady.
If you live with the illusion that the man looks at a woman ….
and admires her … as an important artistic masterpiece …. I
think you are wrong …
I’ve discussed with hundreds of men over the years … about the subject … and i know what i am talking about …. “
Sheila was disliking all what i was saying … not really understanding my messages and the difference of perceptions between what a man and a woman … really think … about the same subject.
I smiled politely … and then changed the subject … not to upset my dear Sheila.
But … indeed life is … illusory … so ….
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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Karmic money … a way of wasting our time … for collecting
more and more …. something
that we will never enjoy
There’re lots of influences from everywhere … telling us that money represents the key for a beautiful life … and we are so, so silly that we believe we can actually be even happy … if we would have this.
The time is passing and we start to have an obsession to have more and more and more …. not asking ourselves if this
is a real path to follow in life … or just a pathless path. And I had this focus on money … on and on and on … for almost 25 years.
I could even say …. It was all … an obsession …. having the
illusory belief that money will heal my fears, will bring me relaxation … and in fact the best life could offer to a human being.
So … all what i had in mind was to make more and more money.
I wanted it so, so badly that i forgot about morality … values
or anything relating to a normal attitude. I just wanted money.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
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I was suffering of a disease of wanting more and more money … continuing having the illusory belief that later … those money will bring me … happiness.
And i continued … believing that this path is the best way i could continue my life … not realizing my naivety.
But money came … more and more and more … and guess what?!
The happiness delayed to appear.
For a while … i thought i am still not ready for that … or i simple had to continue collecting more money … not being enough the level where i was.
I was … so damn silly … acting like a child that is trying to touch the horizon line.
But unfortunately… it was all worst than that.
It was not that i could not enjoy … those money … but ignoring the fact that money are in fact energy … i did not realized that the all those possessions i had … came against me.
I wanted badly something … did not cared how i was getting that something …. so that in the end to be overwhelmed by a
negative impact … all being related with those energies which i would define today as … karmic money.
So … my stupid obsession …. like any obsession … came
against myself.
All became … karmic.
And it was not only that all those money did not brought me anything good … but the impact was huge … and was unfortunately a negative one.
I’ve realized … i’ve wasted my time for almost 25 years … as in the end to see that … in fact … i was following just …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
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pathless paths.
It was all an illusion … and i’ve been so, so stupid. Everything i’ve started to ask myself was if it was …. too late
to change anything.
but who the hell …. knows.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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And one day we realize that no matter how much we should have … is never enough.
I have clear statistics about my own businesses.
I know it for years … and many times i also have great moments.
I smile in front of those situations … realizing that “ok” … is the worst status i could have … but still …
Well … i can’t understand myself … why even in situations when my businesses are running amazing … i still want more and more and more.
In fact … i have an obsession regarding that.
And everyday …. It’s the same.
No matter what situation would be … i have clear evidences that i want more … all the time.
I recently saw myself getting huge money … as the next day to wake up into the middle of the night … just to go and get few more pennies more.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
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I felt … i simple could not understand myself.
How the hell … after making so much money … i still look for a business of very little money …. just to get … some more money.
The new business … would not make any new difference … but i had my obsession … to get more and more.
It was like a … disease … and it was all … so clear … but still … i could not do anything to heal myself.
Most probably if today i would win at the lottery 1 million dollar … and i could have next day the opportunity of getting 1 extra dollar … i would do all my best to get that dollar. I knew myself … well …
I was analyzing my case … all the time … and still it’s useless to mention … that most probably … i have no chance to heal my souls obsessed about … more and more.
It will never be enough … and i know it so, so clear … but … Meditating … is probably the only key.
I still have the hope … that a cure could come for myself … but have no idea what this could be.
Meanwhile … i continue … being and acting as an idiot. It was all … normal … even if … that one dollar more … should make no difference.
I saw things so damn clear … but also knew for 100% … that i would never heal myself of this ugly disease of more … that was ruining my soul … for so many years.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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Dolce far niente …. an amazing
art … a trick that could help us connect to the Infinite
Personal growth teaches us … how to do lots of things … so that we could be successful in life.
We hear about the … to do lists … and how to manage so that we do all those things.
We are told that for poor people, but also the rich people … the day has the same 24 hours … and it’s only the ability of connecting for real to our plans for success … we will actually become super humans … and we will be proud of ourselves. In fact … personal growth is teaching us that we can have and also be … more that means … the present moment.
It teaches us … to grow …. to live with the hope … of a better
tomorrow.
So …
On the other hand … psychology teaches us … when it comes about our evolution … about those weird … not to do lists. Not smoke … not drink alcohol … not take drugs …. not cheat
not … everything it’s illegal, immoral …. or could bring negative influences into our lives.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
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But … there is also a parallel concept … called … “Dolce far niente” … phrase in Italian … that literally translates to the sweetness of doing nothing, and we are all for it.
So … if we start to study the teachings that are coming from society … which become into the end contradictory perceptions about the same reality …. we realize we don’t
actually know what it’s the best to do with our lives. Do that … and that and that … Not do that … or that or that …
Or … just do … nothing …. and enjoy life.
I’ve tried to meditate over the subject … and i believe it’s all … so illusory.
I personally read lots of books about personal growth … and started to be obsessed about doing more and more … and having more and more … until a point when i’ve realized it’s all … useless.
Then started to have in parallel… the not to do lists …. until
one day … when i said it’s enough to persecute myself. Today …. after testing more contradictory ways of living life …
i’ve started to live more and more with the desire of practicing the italian concept …. dolce far niente …
I abandoned the desire of more … or at least i try to.
I abandon the idea of not allowing myself to do that or that or that.
I start to believe that … dolce far niente … it’s a way of connecting to the Universe … and its infinite energies. And once connected…. I could get everything …. just by
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
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visualizing into my mind.
So … we could actually ignore all we have to do … or not to do …. by doing nothing … which in the end provides us the
connection to the Infinite … and such a connection could offer us …. everything we have in mind.
Disconnecting from the dogmatic way of living life … as society is teaching us … is probably …. the first step.
Ignore all … the influences… which all the time end up dominating our lives.
Dolce far niente … could become … an art.
But of course … we need to understand the world from more perspectives than an ordinary human being does. And all … could come … by itself.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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Exploring life too much … we
don’t know what to choose anymore.
We lose the concept of
having something
special.
An interesting question about relationships is … what is the best partner … a person that had no relationship before you
or maximum 1-2 … or someone that had lots of experiences … and of course has today a clear view about what a connection between a man and a woman is … But today … I see lots of men and women that i know for sure they had tens … or even hundreds of relationships.
I look at them … and analyzing them deeply … i realise they have indeed experience… and know much more than me about relationships …
And it’s funny … cause i’ve wrote books about this subject … But i also look at some of my friends that had only 1,2 …. or maximum 3 relationships… and i see an innocence into their
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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eyes …. that i don’t see at the others.
I start analyzing the concept again and again and again ….
and ask myself what should i choose today … a person without experience… or a person with a huge life experience? Someone that explored sexuality … and also analyzed deeply
the connection… or someone that don’t know so much about the subject?!
Well … i’ve recently told to a close friend that he had so, so many ladies … that he can’t make any difference between X, Y, Z etc.
They all become … a number …to him.
But also have on the scene of my life … one man and a lady
that did not had so many experiences… and even if i see so many mistakes they do all the time …. putting in balance the innocence in one side and the mistakes in the other … i simple smile …
I realize that all those people that experienced life … lost that concept of … a special connection…
More … did not brought anything good …
They know how to act … what to do … what mistake to avoid
they know actually everything related to the subject … except the fact that a relationship became for them … just a relationship and nothing more …
