She loved him a lot ... but on the path of the illicit love story, she just lost herself. She dreamed of a great life ... but in the 2 years of the story ... she lost even her dreams.
And in fact .. she lost her soul.
Years ago ... she dreamed so much at an amazing future ... at being of great success ... and today she was feeling that the only thing she did not lost ... was her smile.
Was a little bit unlucky i should say, cause she was daring to dream of a great change ... but in fact ... she never had the chance to meet her best version. She needed a beautiful love story ... cause she was always a romantic person ...
but she never thought that the love story will be like a prison that will limit her so much.
In the end ... she decided as ... the change ... to be seeing her ... the person she always wanted to be and left the love story.
She realized that finding the soulmate it does not mean that she needs to lose herself ... and not even the version of her from today.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
85
THE ILLUSION OF CHANGE
Statistic shows that we only replace a reality with a similar one
Change means ... value
... not marketing
Being involved into the online business, even if i was a technical, but also a sales guy ... i just needed to understand what marketing means.
And after 20 years ... i saw that everything is marketing ... but the problem today is that people are not looking for value anymore ... and pay a huge attention only at how things looks like.
I could not understand the meaning of the expression “it’s not what it looks like” ... till the day when i also saw that marketing is not only for companies ... but also for private persons.
Everywhere i looked ... especially at people that i know by a long time ... i saw the change ... but i think the change was not about the value ... but only a great marketing.
I live in a country where 30 years ago ... all the people were poor.
Today ... it’s a country where opulence means everything.
We have beautiful cars .... everyone is going in luxury vacations ... people have
beautiful houses etc etc.
We are totally defined by opulence.
Everyone know what personal marketing means ... cause they do it very, very well.
As an experiment i bought a very beautiful car.
Not so many people have that car ... but i also have an ugly one ... that i drive most of the times.
The funny thing is that people don’t know how to define me.
Am i a rich guy or a poor one?!
But can the car really define us?!
What if the car is just a car bought in leasing ... which means is not even yours ...
can you be defined by it?
Truth be told ... we live today in an world that is defined by the new concept of personal marketing ... and things will change only if people will understand the real values of life ... and that image ... the way we try to impress the people that we don’t even like is ridiculous.
Cause real change of life ... in a positive way should be value ... not marketing. Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
86
THE ILLUSION OF CHANGE
Statistic shows that we only replace a reality with a similar one
Changing the addiction with another
one ... a silly trick that does
not change anything
Truth be told is that sometimes we love the addictions.
The addiction itself is the infinite need for something that we need in the real life, but somehow we cannot have it.
Someone who is drinking for example ... needs something to make him forget about the problems from the real life.
The disability to see the problems in a much relaxed way ... makes that individual believes that the addiction for alcohol helps him a lot ... and that he really needs that.
Years ago, i was dealing with thousands of clients every year.
Drinking wine after work ... helped me ... or at least this is what i believed ... to relax more and forget about all the problems i had during the day.
Today many of the young people have the addiction for all kinds of drugs ... and is mainly the desire of being happy.
They can’t see any way of being happy for real ... so the addiction for drugs helps them be happy for a while.
There are also people that have love affairs, because they are not happy at home ... and they do this from the day they get married to the end of their life. The addiction is actually having the illusion of change for a short time.
People are using addictions ... believing that this actually helps them, till the day when they see that the addiction just ruins their souls.
And the only trick they can find is change the addiction with another one ...
believing that they are on the right path.
But they just don’t understand what is behind the addiction ... and that change can be also real ... not only illusory.
A person that is cheating his partner, believing that having a new love affair will help him to be happy ... or someone that is taking drugs and believes that being happy for few hours is amazing, but in the morning sees that in the real life nothing changed ... this is the truth about the addictions.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
87
THE ILLUSION OF CHANGE
Statistic shows that we only replace a reality with a similar one
Changing the addiction with a new one ... will not redefine the reality that you probably dislike ... and is only a silly decision.
All the ones having addictions ... should meditate more on what is behind the addiction ... and think of a path for a real change.
Don’t use the addictions as a mask for a better reality ... is useless!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
88
THE ILLUSION OF CHANGE
Statistic shows that we only replace a reality with a similar one
The change ... an illusory path to happiness?!
What do we need to be happy?!
A contemporary answer should be ... money, love, luxury vacations, expensive cars etc etc.
And the list with the things that could make us happy is infinite ... but the funny thing is that we cannot see anything from the actual reality that would be on that list.
And we look for a big change in our lives.
We meditate a lot about our dreams ... and the desire of having them is huge inside of us.
The concept of change ... is our main target.
Is nothing more important than this .... but still ... no matter what we do ...
happiness is not appearing.
We are only trying to touch the horizon line and still ... no real change inside of us.
We even see the change in the outside world, but not in the inner world.
We then realize that ... we can define the change as an illusory path to happiness, cause the moment when you cannot see the connection between outside and inside ... you will not meet the joy of being alive.
There are no standards of being happy ... but the power to connect to the present ... and only you can decide to do that.
No one will come to say you that you need to do this ... and that is the real secret of being happy.
The concept of change ... is a good one to have in mind, but is very important to understand that all you have is in the “now moment”. Nothing more!
And probably ... when the change will come .... we will feel no change!
Having the desire accomplished ... which we call so many times the change ... it will not bring the real joy of being alive.
The only trick is to connect to what you have ... whatever you have ... cause not changing the outside world is important ...
Try to see your soul ... and listen to what is whispering you!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
89
THE ILLUSION OF CHANGE
Statistic shows that we only replace a reality with a similar one
Try the change as an experiment.
You will enjoy it and you will want it for real
The biggest problem with the change, in fact the biggest barrier are the people around us.
They are used to see you in a certain way and the day the shift is happening, they will come to you and want to discuss about what is going on.
They will even argue with you, explaining that no matter what is going on it will not work.
Truth be told people dislike the change and even if they see this anywhere around them they will be always have something negative to say.
But there is a trick that you can do and you should try it as an experiment. During the times, i probably had about 300 employees and i’ve always been a communist boss.
Never let them to speak, never paid them extra money for extra hours of work ...
bottomline the worst example ever.
But that till the day i started to work with young students, when i realized that i had to change.
They were different of the ones of 30 or 35 and the way i was acting was not working anymore.
Today i only have one employee.
She has 22. I let let her argue with him.
If she asks me a day off, i always say yes.
If she ask me a bonus, i also say yes all the time.
She even told me one day that she saw that i changed a lot, but she does not want to talk about it, cause i might come back to the old way of being. As a father ... i also failed.
I did not took care of my too boys and never payed attention to their thoughts and feelings.
I understood i need to make a change and i started with ... money.
You know money can solve most of our problems, even with the kids.
One week, i made an experiment.
I paid them a little bit more attention and started to give them daily small amounts of money.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
90
THE ILLUSION OF CHANGE
Statistic shows that we only replace a reality with a similar one
We went out ... i bought them everything they asked for.
No argue with them.
By Saturday, my youngest son came to me and asked 50 usd.
I paid the money right away and gave to his brother 50 usd also.
And i heard them talking: “i think dad lost his minds. Everything we ask him, he says ... yes.
He is not greedy anymore”
This was the way a young boy of 7 years old was seeing everything.
He saw the change, thought that i lost my mind, but loved the change.
The trick worked.
You see, on the path of change, let anyone understand that you can also change in the relationship that you have with them.
This way, they will accept the change and see it as a beautiful swift.
Find the tricks you need to do and then enjoy the change for real.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
91
THE ILLUSION OF CHANGE
Statistic shows that we only replace a reality with a similar one
... and one day she says: “You are so sick of your current self, that you continue searching for change every moment...”
It says that the Universe is talking to us trough the people we meet in the real life.
With some we are friends, some are our neighbors, some are people that we meet on streets or ... on social media.
Ever since i study a little bit more the meaning of life ... i understood one very important thing ... and that is ... every time i am annoyed of something, i should meditate more about that something and try to find the message behind the message.
Not so long time ago, i had a conflict with an energetic therapist and at the end of the conversation she replied to me ... “I don’t understand everything very well now, cause i am also annoyed by you ... but 100% i touched your buttons”.
And i know by such a long time that i should not get annoyed of anything ... and i still do.
Only in the days when i find the wisdom to meditate about why is happening, what is happening ... that is the day when i prove that i have the ability to understand what the Universe is trying to whisper to me.
Today .... seeing the message “You are so sick of your current self, that you
continue searching for change every moment.” ... i suddenly understood that my new friend was right.
I have an obsession about “the change” ... but the message behind the message is not ... this.
Her remark ... “You are so sick of your current self” ... is the real key ... the real message.
When i read it ... it was the first time when i was not feeling annoyed at a negative remark.
But i know, that i wrote 9 books about love, when i was obsessed by love. Today i write about change ... cause i don’t like where i am ... on the timeline of my life.
And it’s again an obsession.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
92
THE ILLUSION OF CHANGE
Statistic shows that we only replace a reality with a similar one
I am sick of my current self ... and trying to find the answer in any kind of change
... even on a pathless path ... cause not any path goes to the right destination that we should follow.
Just pay attention to the signs that comes from anywhere.
Sometimes ... the change must be done inside, not outside your soul and trying to find, in an obsessive way ... continuing searching for the change in every moment ... but not in the right place ... will only delay the spiritual evolution.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
93
THE ILLUSION OF CHANGE
Statistic shows that we only replace a reality with a similar one
“Sylvester Stallone Effect” ... or why the absence of credibility is an obstacle for the big change
I’ve wrote in the past about a dear friend of mine that lost his lovely girlfriend ...
because of a vet.
The funny thing was that even if my friend was more powerful than the biggest magician from the world ... and could arrange as the lady to start an artistic career in Hollywood, the young lady could not believe it ... and preferred to chose the vet.
In the end she became a cashier at the petshop from the clinic.
And i am still laughing of her, knowing that my friend prepared, at that time, a meeting for her with Sylvester Stallone ... but she actually did not knew who he was.
She could actually make the quantum jump and become an actress in Hollywood ... but even talking about it ... was really illusory for her. Basically ... my dear friend could accomplish any dream she could possible have ... but she was too silly to believe that this could really happen in the real life.
Only thinking about the idea of Hollywood ... it was probably seen as a science fiction scenario.
And truth be told is that sometimes ... the Universe is offering us more than we can dream ... but we just can’t believe it.
We see everything as an illusion ... but it’s a reality much greater than the one
that we dreamed about.
We just can’t see the path.
The persons that show us those paths ... are not presenting the credibility for such a great change ... but everything is in fact our credibility in front of us. We do not believe that we can have such a great life story ... and we miss great opportunities.
During my life time i also had such situations and missed many opportunities that could change my life completely.
