THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE: essays

I wrote 10 books about love, but maybe someone should come to forbidden me … the right of speaking about the subject.
       Cause to be honest … i was writing so much about it … but … i don’t really know what love is.
       
       When i was personally involved … i was blind.
       
       I was not seeing clear absolutely anything at all.
       
       Most probably … being so, so … deep … in those stories … i did not had the ability to see everything detached and … it all became illusory for my mind.
       
       And i had so contradictory … perceptions.
       
       But one day … someone told me an interesting story … about how he got all what he wanted in his life … except love.
       
       This story made me decide to start writing a new book about the subject … but from a new perspective.
       
       This time i was the one that watch the play … like a spectator.
       
       I was looking at him.
       
       … but also at her.
       
       I was not interested to analyze more …. one of the sides … but only and only … the connection between those souls.
       
       My new friend started to tell me more and more about his life … and the paradox that even if he succeeded to get from life all he ever dreamed … he could not see any joy at all for himself.
       
       There was no reason for him to smile or …. to be happy.
       
       His face was always sending to everyone the impression of a profound … unhappiness.
       
       But one day … the guy … which by the way was a married person … met an amazing lady … and asked her to be his … love teacher.
       
       He could not say it from the beginning … but the next second he had this opportunity …. he found the guts to say it.
       
       And the funny thing was that she said … yes.
       
       She accepted the fact that he was married … cause there was no other chance to be together for the present moment.
       
       So … they started the lesson.
       
       Brian … this was his real name … was telling me new and new details.
       
       Many times i was simple smiling … not really knowing how to define the 2 of them, but later i realize that Carla was in the same position as him.
       
       She tried many times to find the happiness.
       
       The Universe sent in her life so, so many men … but all of those relationships looked like …. what we could name as …. pathless paths.
       
       This time … with this guy Brian …. all looked different.
       
       And he really wanted to understand what love is about.
       
       He came to me … confessing about his amazing story with Carla … and we were wondering … why the hell we had to learn so, so many things in school, but never about … love.
       
       His relationship with Carla became kind of a therapy.
       
       A weird one … but even if it was a slow process …. my friend Brian started to feel like a … different person.
       
       He was visiting her in her small studio, spending so, so many hours together … kissing her, discussing together … but also making love.
       
       She was teaching him … the tremendous power of touch … the meaning of feelings … and how love can heal our souls.
       
       Everyday … was a new lesson.
       
       She was his therapist … but liking her so, so much … and falling in love with her … he became her therapist also.
       
       In the night he was coming back at home …. and he was meditating more and more of what he was doing.
       
       Had no regret that he was cheating his wife, cause the connection itself was broken by a long, long time.
       
       And he loved this kind of … therapy.
       
       Everyday … he wanted to spend more and more time with her.
       
       Her energy … all that love felt while being into her arms … even if there were moments when they simple practiced the silence …. was making him feel cured.
       
       I was analyzing them … more and more …. until one day when i had the chance to meet her also.
       
       And i had the same feeling regarding Carla … that she was also having therapy with my friend Brian.
       
       … love therapy.
       
       Now … i was looking from outside at all this … and … i actually saw my stories.
       
       … all my love stories.
       
       I was analyzing and defining them … but i was trying to understand my stories and my way of acting from the past.
       
       It all became so damn clear now.
       
       Looking at Brian and Carla … i suddenly understood that all i was doing into my past …. In all the love stories … was to heal my soul.
       
       I needed … therapy also.
       
       But i was afraid of following a classic way …. at a regular therapist.
       
       All needed to be abstract … to hide the fact that i needed … to heal my broken soul.
       
       I smile realizing that all those partners … were my therapists ….
       
       Brian and Carla made me understand much clearer … my own story.
       
       And many others as them.
       
       Seeing detached … all those love stories …. defining them in my writings … little by little i started to understand what love is about … and its tremendous power.