I remained at home … but i started to live in an inner world. My wife started to see that … and disliked this idea too … as all the other ideas … i had.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
105
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
She did not want to have a good relationship, but also refused to accept this type of relationship. Basically i was at home … but not at home.
And one day she started to accuse me of the fact that i live in a parallel universe … and she can’t stand anymore to live near such a person … as myself. But how can she do that?!
Are we still living in the times of Inquisition?!” I almost started to laugh.
David was living a nightmare …. not understanding that the
nightmare itself … was an illusion.
He felt himself the victim … but the wife was believing the same about herself.
I started to believe that not even therapy could be enough for them.
Maybe it was a mix of therapy with self therapy … that they needed.
But they were running away one of another.
It was funny to see that David became the prisoner of his inner world, somehow being an introvert … but also watching the blindness of his wife … i really started to laugh of the situation.
They maybe needed me to explain the concept of self therapy … but also Nolene to have a third part that could connect them … with a little bit of coaching. But 100% … it was a total disaster.
Like in … many, many other couples.
David continued to tell me so many other weird things … that i realized i need to continue with Nolene our efforts of defining what therapy and self therapy means.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
106
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
Also … most important to define better … our blindness … as a man and as a woman.
as a single woman … and as a married man. Maybe reading other people’s stories … analyzing and defining factors that can be seen in our lives too … it all becomes more obvious for us.
Understanding the outside world … other views about relationship, couples, connections … we see life from totally different perspective …. and that might help me a lot.
Can such a concept as “inquisition” … be pronounced … in our days?!
Or the mind itself created those illusions … that are cutting the connection?!
Too many questions and also too many theories … but maybe there is no absolute truth and the only trick is in fact to … see life from many, many perspectives.
Therapy .. coaching … could help you understand the methods used for analyzing and defining life.
Self therapy is actually … the next step.
By meditation we can see everything … from one million points of view … and in one point practice detachment of the whole scene of life.
Then … the illusion of the self … might disappear… or at least we are one step much closer of understanding … that the Inquisition can’t be real … in any modern relationship.
And we can start … laughing.
and why not … embrace the other side.
But i know … theory is simple.
Very, very simple … and …. the blindness continues being
part of our lives.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
107
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
It’s all about knowing to switch … frequencies
Truth be told … we do not know to keep a balanced life … and split ourselves … in a way so that we cover every important aspects that have to do with us.
That is the reason why we end up … being good and happy about few of the things that are defining our existence … but
still … we are unhappy about many other important issues. And when we make the balance … analyzing our lives …. we realize … or have this illusory idea … that we are … unhappy. But why?!
Well … maybe we know to act as a good spouse, but not a good parent.
Maybe the job is not satisfying us … and we don’t have such a good career, but still everybody is defining us as … amazing friends.
The list of covering all the aspects of life is infinite … but the main idea is that we’ve excelled at some things … but not at everything.
And all the other things that don’t look perfect … are creating kind of a silly unhappiness … very difficult to be cured.
So?!
What we do?!
Well … first of all we should meditate.
Read books about personal growth, philosophy, psychology…
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
108
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
and everything is defining life.
A coach … should be … just great.
Might sound weird, but many succeeded in life … with the help of a coach.
It’s a trick for creating a shortcut … to have someone that is presenting yourself most of the methods that could make you understand your life.
But the main argument for me … when i talk about self therapy is that the coach will not be always there.
Being or not helped … we should always analyze and define what is going on with us.
At the end … understanding all the aspects … we should just
redefine what we don’t like.
But how?!
Well … maybe by taking this simple decision of demanding yourself to switch the frequency.
from being a bad spouse … to a good one.
replace a boring career with a … beautiful one.
even if you know that you never had been a good parent … just think of how you could switch to being a good one …. and connect to your kid.
The self therapy … of analyzing, defining and then simple redefine what you don’t like is kind of an update for your mental software, that is allowing you in the end to have a perfect case scenario in all the aspects from your life.
So … what i try to define now … as the method of switching frequencies … is actually … an amazing way in how we can we can replace the negative attributes of our personality with positive ones.
Yes … many, many times we are just … one decision away
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
109
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
and understanding that the decision itself is helping a lot on switching of being on the low frequency mode … to a beautiful … but totally different way of … being.
So … i have the guts to affirm that being good or bad in absolutely any scenario that the Universe is inducing in our lives … is just a decision.
The one … of knowing how to switch frequencies.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
110
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
The Devil was inside … but how the hell could i get it out?!
I looked at her and she was still … beautiful.
Years ago they looked so happy together.
But today … things were totally different.
Things changed so, so much.
He looked sad all the time …. and i could say that she was
angry all the time when i accidentally saw her.
So … what really happened?!
Why that amazing love story disappeared?!
Why they got lost?!
One day … i met him, changed few words and asked … “John
i remember you were so, so happy together?! What really happened?!”
Sad, John .. replies … “She has the Devil inside of her and there is nothing i can do and save our marriage.”
I smiled.
I smiled … cause i somehow chanced my perceptions about this weird concept of Devil … and even on Angels.
Today i believe that there is no Devil, but a simple decision of connecting to different types of energies.
I don’t know how this couple i know succeeded to fuck everything, how he came to the conclusion that she had the Devil in her … how such a romantic love story was
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
111
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
metamorphosed into something so ugly … but …
John believed that there was nothing he could do to get out the Devil from his spouse, but i’m really sorry that i did not had the chance to talk with her … cause most probably she would tell me that he is possessed by the Devil.
And i start to wonder myself if this so called ugly energy that appeared is not a reaction that simple appeared in time, cause they could not pay attention to all the details, so that their story to be a non ending happy love story. Difficult to define.
I also see the Devil as an illusory concept.
An imaginary entity invented … just that someone to be responsible for the fact that everything was fucked up. And i wonder myself, why the hell … we don’t change our perception and say … “She has an Angel inside of her.”
Or … maybe she had an Angel, but also a Devil inside of her
but John started to see more the Devil, than the Angel. There was nothing to get rid of.
Probably just connect to the right energy.
Or … i should advice John to ignore all his perceptions … and try to remember those times when their story was so, so beautiful.
Make his spouse also remember that.
Cause maybe no one is responsible and even if someone is responsible … everything can be reset anytime.
It’s just a … decision …. the one of remembering the good times and reconnect to that energy of the beginning.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
112
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
Ignore the influences. Just pay attention to the intuition … always remaining connected to the real self
She simple … had enough.
Everyone had given her advices.
Well … today everything was different.
… a rainy day.
I was watching her … somehow admiring her beauty … but also listening to her beautiful philosophical ideas. We were just friends … but i liked her.
In fact … a lot.
I smile and say … “My dear! Don’t worry so much about
those influences.
Simple ignore them.
Connect to the inner self … and let everything come by itself.” “I simple … can’t.
I am not capable of doing that.”
But i was already connected to that self of my dear friend … and i knew she could do it.
I wanted to whisper her … that confidence that i was seeing
in her soul.
But …
It was raining.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
113
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
… a beautiful rain.
I loved watching the rain … and admire my dear lady friend. We always had an amazing philosophical dance … and we both like it a lot.
The rain was not stopping … but everything was perfect. Damn it … perfection is so damn abstract … and we can’t understand it.
We have it … but we never listen to the intuition, not being connected to the inner soul.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
114
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
The ring … maybe the symbol of the connection
I was watching them … how they touched their rings … and
how they adored each other.
I liked them.
… a lot.
It was like i was looking at a painting that is representing love … but it was all a … real scene of life.
The wedding rings were a symbol of the connection.
I was in a coffee shop, close to the center … writing at my books … many of them about love and relationships.
I started to be a good theoretician, same as my dear friend Paul, but … not a practician.
The couple in front of me … was actually the definition of love.
Embracing each other … touching … seeing how they were connecting one with another, exploring and enjoying the connection induced by love …
Well … too bad cause they probably don’t write about their love story.
Could be a much better perspective about this abstract way of living … dominated by such beautiful emotions.
I looked again at them … realizing that i am just a theoretician … but they were actually enjoying the beauty of
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
115
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
being alive.
I was writing about that beauty … but they were living that scenario.
Actually … i was losing my life analyzing and defining this abstract concept … named love, not understanding that i could actually start to live …my life … with absolutely any scenario the Universe has to offer to me.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
116
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
105
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE philosophical essays
She did not want to have a good relationship, but also refused to accept this type of relationship. Basically i was at home … but not at home.
And one day she started to accuse me of the fact that i live in a parallel universe … and she can’t stand anymore to live near such a person … as myself. But how can she do that?!
Are we still living in the times of Inquisition?!” I almost started to laugh.
David was living a nightmare …. not understanding that the
nightmare itself … was an illusion.
He felt himself the victim … but the wife was believing the same about herself.
I started to believe that not even therapy could be enough for them.
Maybe it was a mix of therapy with self therapy … that they needed.
But they were running away one of another.
It was funny to see that David became the prisoner of his inner world, somehow being an introvert … but also watching the blindness of his wife … i really started to laugh of the situation.
They maybe needed me to explain the concept of self therapy … but also Nolene to have a third part that could connect them … with a little bit of coaching. But 100% … it was a total disaster.
Like in … many, many other couples.
David continued to tell me so many other weird things … that i realized i need to continue with Nolene our efforts of defining what therapy and self therapy means.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
106
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
Also … most important to define better … our blindness … as a man and as a woman.
as a single woman … and as a married man. Maybe reading other people’s stories … analyzing and defining factors that can be seen in our lives too … it all becomes more obvious for us.
Understanding the outside world … other views about relationship, couples, connections … we see life from totally different perspective …. and that might help me a lot.
Can such a concept as “inquisition” … be pronounced … in our days?!
Or the mind itself created those illusions … that are cutting the connection?!
Too many questions and also too many theories … but maybe there is no absolute truth and the only trick is in fact to … see life from many, many perspectives.
Therapy .. coaching … could help you understand the methods used for analyzing and defining life.
Self therapy is actually … the next step.
By meditation we can see everything … from one million points of view … and in one point practice detachment of the whole scene of life.
Then … the illusion of the self … might disappear… or at least we are one step much closer of understanding … that the Inquisition can’t be real … in any modern relationship.
And we can start … laughing.
and why not … embrace the other side.
But i know … theory is simple.
Very, very simple … and …. the blindness continues being
part of our lives.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
107
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
It’s all about knowing to switch … frequencies
Truth be told … we do not know to keep a balanced life … and split ourselves … in a way so that we cover every important aspects that have to do with us.
That is the reason why we end up … being good and happy about few of the things that are defining our existence … but
still … we are unhappy about many other important issues. And when we make the balance … analyzing our lives …. we realize … or have this illusory idea … that we are … unhappy. But why?!
Well … maybe we know to act as a good spouse, but not a good parent.
Maybe the job is not satisfying us … and we don’t have such a good career, but still everybody is defining us as … amazing friends.
The list of covering all the aspects of life is infinite … but the main idea is that we’ve excelled at some things … but not at everything.
And all the other things that don’t look perfect … are creating kind of a silly unhappiness … very difficult to be cured.
So?!
What we do?!
Well … first of all we should meditate.
Read books about personal growth, philosophy, psychology…
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
108
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
and everything is defining life.
A coach … should be … just great.
Might sound weird, but many succeeded in life … with the help of a coach.
It’s a trick for creating a shortcut … to have someone that is presenting yourself most of the methods that could make you understand your life.
But the main argument for me … when i talk about self therapy is that the coach will not be always there.
Being or not helped … we should always analyze and define what is going on with us.
At the end … understanding all the aspects … we should just
redefine what we don’t like.
But how?!
Well … maybe by taking this simple decision of demanding yourself to switch the frequency.
from being a bad spouse … to a good one.
replace a boring career with a … beautiful one.
even if you know that you never had been a good parent … just think of how you could switch to being a good one …. and connect to your kid.
The self therapy … of analyzing, defining and then simple redefine what you don’t like is kind of an update for your mental software, that is allowing you in the end to have a perfect case scenario in all the aspects from your life.
So … what i try to define now … as the method of switching frequencies … is actually … an amazing way in how we can we can replace the negative attributes of our personality with positive ones.
Yes … many, many times we are just … one decision away
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
109
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
and understanding that the decision itself is helping a lot on switching of being on the low frequency mode … to a beautiful … but totally different way of … being.
So … i have the guts to affirm that being good or bad in absolutely any scenario that the Universe is inducing in our lives … is just a decision.
The one … of knowing how to switch frequencies.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
110
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
The Devil was inside … but how the hell could i get it out?!
I looked at her and she was still … beautiful.
Years ago they looked so happy together.
But today … things were totally different.
Things changed so, so much.
He looked sad all the time …. and i could say that she was
angry all the time when i accidentally saw her.
So … what really happened?!
Why that amazing love story disappeared?!
Why they got lost?!
One day … i met him, changed few words and asked … “John
i remember you were so, so happy together?! What really happened?!”
Sad, John .. replies … “She has the Devil inside of her and there is nothing i can do and save our marriage.”
I smiled.
I smiled … cause i somehow chanced my perceptions about this weird concept of Devil … and even on Angels.
Today i believe that there is no Devil, but a simple decision of connecting to different types of energies.
I don’t know how this couple i know succeeded to fuck everything, how he came to the conclusion that she had the Devil in her … how such a romantic love story was
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
111
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
metamorphosed into something so ugly … but …
John believed that there was nothing he could do to get out the Devil from his spouse, but i’m really sorry that i did not had the chance to talk with her … cause most probably she would tell me that he is possessed by the Devil.
And i start to wonder myself if this so called ugly energy that appeared is not a reaction that simple appeared in time, cause they could not pay attention to all the details, so that their story to be a non ending happy love story. Difficult to define.
I also see the Devil as an illusory concept.
An imaginary entity invented … just that someone to be responsible for the fact that everything was fucked up. And i wonder myself, why the hell … we don’t change our perception and say … “She has an Angel inside of her.”
Or … maybe she had an Angel, but also a Devil inside of her
but John started to see more the Devil, than the Angel. There was nothing to get rid of.
Probably just connect to the right energy.
Or … i should advice John to ignore all his perceptions … and try to remember those times when their story was so, so beautiful.
Make his spouse also remember that.
Cause maybe no one is responsible and even if someone is responsible … everything can be reset anytime.
It’s just a … decision …. the one of remembering the good times and reconnect to that energy of the beginning.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
112
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
Ignore the influences. Just pay attention to the intuition … always remaining connected to the real self
She simple … had enough.
Everyone had given her advices.
Well … today everything was different.
… a rainy day.
I was watching her … somehow admiring her beauty … but also listening to her beautiful philosophical ideas. We were just friends … but i liked her.
In fact … a lot.
I smile and say … “My dear! Don’t worry so much about
those influences.
Simple ignore them.
Connect to the inner self … and let everything come by itself.” “I simple … can’t.
I am not capable of doing that.”
But i was already connected to that self of my dear friend … and i knew she could do it.
I wanted to whisper her … that confidence that i was seeing
in her soul.
But …
It was raining.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
113
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
… a beautiful rain.
I loved watching the rain … and admire my dear lady friend. We always had an amazing philosophical dance … and we both like it a lot.
The rain was not stopping … but everything was perfect. Damn it … perfection is so damn abstract … and we can’t understand it.
We have it … but we never listen to the intuition, not being connected to the inner soul.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
114
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
The ring … maybe the symbol of the connection
I was watching them … how they touched their rings … and
how they adored each other.
I liked them.
… a lot.
It was like i was looking at a painting that is representing love … but it was all a … real scene of life.
The wedding rings were a symbol of the connection.
I was in a coffee shop, close to the center … writing at my books … many of them about love and relationships.
I started to be a good theoretician, same as my dear friend Paul, but … not a practician.
The couple in front of me … was actually the definition of love.
Embracing each other … touching … seeing how they were connecting one with another, exploring and enjoying the connection induced by love …
Well … too bad cause they probably don’t write about their love story.
Could be a much better perspective about this abstract way of living … dominated by such beautiful emotions.
I looked again at them … realizing that i am just a theoretician … but they were actually enjoying the beauty of
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
115
A MARRIED MAN … PERCEPTIONS ABOUT … LOVE
philosophical essays
being alive.
I was writing about that beauty … but they were living that scenario.
Actually … i was losing my life analyzing and defining this abstract concept … named love, not understanding that i could actually start to live …my life … with absolutely any scenario the Universe has to offer to me.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
116
