So … instead of running away … i was facing the things that were …. annoying me so much … trying to solve those things.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Depression … a reflection of illusory thoughts
I started to see so, so many people around myself … dominated by … depression.
And i smile … realizing that the door that could get them out from that environment … is so close by them.
Today … when i really want to connect with someone, i just ask them … what do they think of the concept of … illusion. And … guess what?!
With many of them … it’s like i start a conversation about … devils.
They totally dislike it.
The smiles, the beautiful vibes of the conversations … suddenly .. stops.
It’s like i said something really … impolite.
So … what it’s really wrong … talking about illusions?!
Why do they reject so strongly … those discussions?!
And they start having those … unhappy faces.
Depression … starts to be revealed.
They are so afraid of it.
But not me.
I accepted and embraced it … long time ago, as part of this
process of being alive …
Know why?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
17
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Well … i somehow understood that the depression itself was generated by all my illusory thoughts … and all i need to do was to simple … get rid of them.
Or … just ignore all those … perceptions.
I understood the term of illusion.
I accepted it as … part of life.
But i don’t allow myself anymore to be dominated by those illusory thoughts which come into my mind … so often. You see … depression is just … part of the process of understanding the life itself.
Once the concept of illusion becomes clear … and we accept that our perceptions don’t have absolute values … well … things change.
The depression itself is metamorphosed into an illusion … and we can smile in front of it.
The thoughts become simple …. thoughts.
Emotions … just something volatile that define us … usually … for a very short time.
The impact just … decrease …. and depression becomes so …
unimportant.
We simple … ignore it.
But it took so much time to understand the concepts about … illusions.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
18
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Everyday was looking like a … funeral …. but there
was no real funeral.
It was all … the usual daily life … and nothing more.
Peter was going out from time to time with his friends … to drink beer … till late in the night. They did that from high school.
The funny thing about him and his friends was just that if someone would measure their vibes before they entered into the pub and at the time when they were leaving … could see a huge difference.
It was like they were treating their depression at the pub … together.
Many years ago … when they were students … i saw them happy before and after their meeting … but today ….
Peter’s face was looking like the one of a guy that was coming from a funeral … but there was no funeral into that day in our small town.
I started to wonder … is Peter suffering of depression?! Maybe he was treating his depression with … alcohol … and that’s why he was so smiley at the pub?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
There were so many questions into my mind regarding Peter … but his life looked to me like an eternal funeral.
And one day i found the gut to ask him … “Peter …. why the
hell you look so bad before you enter the pub and… look like a person with such a great vibe when you are here?!” “Hmm .. difficult question … but … It’s a long story.
Maybe the short story is that … at home …. in my marriage …
i am not a happy person.
It’s like something died between us …. and we participate
now at an eternal funeral.
We can’t find the guts to end it … so the marriage itself is destroying us everyday … little by little.
You see … coming here with my friends … it’s not about alcohol even if this is what it looks like … but mainly connecting to a beautiful energy from the old times.”
So … what i saw at Peter as a depression … was actually the reflection of a negative energy generated by the connection between him and his wife.
And every time when he entered into another type of environment … or maybe i should say … energetic field … Peter could become again that … Peter … which i use to know from school.
A joyful person …
Hmm … too bad his life from home was like an eternal funeral.
I try to understand him …. even if i believe that Peter could
be saved … cause he was still young … but he was … delaying everything.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
20
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
We most probably … simple don’t understand that a funeral is mainly about saying “Good bye!” ….or to be much clear … “
Good bye … forever!” … and should not take … an eternity. What looks as a depressive vibe is probably whispering us something … that is …. more … a message … but an abstract one.
I am seeing it …. but don’t know if Peter is realizing what is
really going on.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Feeling in the wrong energy … looks almost like a disease
Paula wrote me today … again.
We don’t speak so often like in the old times, but i believe we somehow communicate… by telepathy.
I think of her often … and she thinks of me also … but we are just friends.
Today she was in Paris … with husband and her 3 kids … close to the Tour Eiffel Tower … but again … i felt she was unhappy.
Beautiful, successful… having besides her a guy that looked like the perfect husband, gorgeous kids … and my dear Paula … was unhappy.
How the hell could someone be unhappy in such a vacation?! But the funny thing was that i also felt her like that 2 months ago when she was in Belize, and 5 months ago when they were in Japan … and …
Well … every time she was in a trip or a vacation … i felt Paula like being a depressive person.
But i knew Paula well … and knew she was never like that.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
So … i started to ask myself more and more … what is this … if it’s not depression?!
How could i avoid saying that Paula is not depressive … when almost all those details were saying she was like that?! Hmm …
It’s so funny … cause i had the illusion that i am an artist when it came about analyzing and defining people … but … it looked like i was wrong … defining Paula.
And still … i was continuing analyzing … until one day when i realized that Paula looked depressive only when she was away … in vacation.
Everything looked like a total nonsense … but… even in what we believe that are perfect case scenarios … like an amazing trip in Paris, at a very beautiful hotel … having such a great family like Paula has … we simple don’t feel in the right … movie.
We simple …. don’t like it … and we even hate the energy of
that energetic field induced by the place and the people around us.
So … should we change our perception about depression?!
Is this the hidden message … that we actually want
something else?!
Another scenario?!
Another life?!
Another kind of life?!
Knowing Paula so well … i dare to redefine her one more time as a joyful soul … having nothing in common with the word … depression.
But … most probably … even if it looked like she had the perfect life … her mind was somewhere else …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
This scenario was indeed not for her … and it all looked like a funny drama … watching her … having everything … but still being always unhappy.
Well … except the times when she could be … wild … and do whatever she wanted to do … in an energy field defined by … freedom … not by those illusory standards that society told us so much about.
So … the illusory depression … was just a … coded message. And …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
24
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Aromatherapy is
amazing … but for me it was all
related with … her.
Aromatherapy is based on the usage of aromatic materials including essential oils and other aroma compounds, with claims for improving psychological and physical well-being. But i always felt that this is a … crap.
Until one day …. when … being at the coffee shop where i
usually go … i simple could not pretend that i can’t hear the conversation between a couple … They were certainly in love.
“My dear …. I know i am married …. but i love you.
I really love you … and can’t live without you.
Every time when i go home …. I feel your smell around …. for
hours.
It’s kind of an aromatherapy… that is allowing me to feel you … for such a long time.
And same as aromatherapy …. I actually feel that you
improved my well-being.
Yes …. I feel that you healed me of depression.
And that amazing perfume of yours … keeps my vibe into an amazing state … for such a long time … after seeing you.”
I was looking at them …. and i could understand their story
…. not really knowing all the details.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Being just 2 meters from their table … i was feeling her perfume …. and indeed she was smelling like … the spring.
I somehow started to envy this guy for being so lucky … Maybe i should find a similar lady for myself … and whenever i feel unhappy … remember of the trick with aromatherapy.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
26
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Jumping from unhappiness to happiness … takes only
few seconds.
Many people are writing me … telling me their stories. They should probably go to a therapist … but reading my illusory thoughts about life … they somehow trend to believe … that i could help them with something.
The main pattern i see is … the unbelievable domination of
unhappiness.
Everywhere …
No matter if is someone from New Delhi, Tokyo, Moscow, Perth etc … the scenario is the same. The unhappiness is like a … virus.
Today i accept that … seeing people unhappy is … ok.
Maybe having unhappy moments … it’s normal.
But seeing unhappiness … for so many days in a row … or months … or years … we could probably say that we talk about … depression.
And looks like there is no … healing for those people.
I see them … prisoners in a prison with … invisible walls.
I smile … analyzing all those people.
I smile …. when defining all what is going on … i see that all
those people are actually a reflection of myself … on the
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
27
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
stage of life.
I talk about them … and i could even define for each of all those people … a scenario that could redefine their lives … so that they could follow the path of happiness … but when it comes about me …. I just can’t do anything to change my vibe.
But meditating more and more … one day i’ve realized that it’s all related indeed with my vibe … and my ability to stay on a certain frequency.
I could simple decide … to stop being dominated by unhappiness … and maybe have the main purpose of the day
to stay connected to beautiful vibes. But how … if unhappiness is so dominant?! Well …. maybe simple ignoring it.
… at least for a while.
And finding the tricks … to get those vibes … should be a must …
I believe today … after long meditations … that it s all a decision ….
Exploring life … seeing its beautiful side … and deciding to connect just to that side … could probably be …. the best scenario to follow.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
28
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
We are like in fog … going
somewhere, doing some things … and so on, but still not figgured out the whole picture.
Meanwhile the unhappiness … dominates.
The main problem in life is that we can’t clearly see what is going on.
Not with what is happening around us … but also deep inside ourselves.
not really having any other options … we continue walking into life …. following the journey … still dominated by unclear feelings …. that mainly give us the sensations of fear … uncertainty… and unhappiness.
And even we if we refuse to say it … living like that for such a long, long time … we begin to be defined by … depression. So … we could actually define this weird … ugly concept … called depression … as the presence of unhappiness into our souls … for too much time.
Or maybe i should say … an energy that dominates us too much.
And … life goes on …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
We walk into the fog … not really figuring out the whole picture … realizing in fact that we have absolutely no idea of what is going on.
But … any moment spent like that …means staying into a world … that is not giving us anything good. Clarity … it’s so damn … important.
And we start to meditating … more and more.
Till one day … when we have another weird feeling that … we’ve became philosophers …. Which is certainly … not true.
All we want it’s just be … happy again … or at least see that path that will take us to happiness.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Prisoners into an ugly
universe …. we dream not
about real freedom … but about moments of … freedom
My old friend Karl is quite a weird guy.
Even if he is married … and he has the chance to meet so many ladies all the time … he never does anything. Actually he just socialize with … all of them.
His marriage is ruined by years … and even he acts as a person with high moral values … it’s still a nonsense the fact that he is wasting so many … opportunities…
At least this is how i see him … and the whole situation.
So i’ve dared to ask him … “If you are not happy at home … why don’t you try at least to be happy …. when you are not home?!”
