Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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DOING STUPID THINGS … AN AMAZING JOURNEY
... philosophical essays
Everyone looks to know the power of having a great image
not understanding the philosophical concepts with … the masks.
And we try to look that way … or that way …. but am i really … what i try to look like?!
I start to ask myself … not understanding this nonsense of personal marketing … what if i should say …. I am a great painter … or a piano player … or a great scientist?!
Of course …. I could also say … i am a great philosopher … and a very successful writer … but why should i bother to lie?!
I still believe i did not found the absolute truth about the meaning of life and still did not had the success i dream about … so why should i present myself into a great way?! So … why people practice so much the art of personal marketing?!
Why is so damn important in our society from today … to look great?!
Why we are so silly and try to wear masks all the time?! Why we are afraid to be … just who we are?!
Well … maybe a great imagine … induce an immediate connection … but once the connection is established…. the masks are dissolved anyway.
… and we see the soul … just as it is.
The illusory greatness … that we try to induce to everyone … becomes so fade.
… and the truth is revealed. So ….?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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DOING STUPID THINGS … AN AMAZING JOURNEY
... philosophical essays
Connecting to everyone around … such a dangerous stupid game
All my life i loved … people.
I never liked animals … and i am blamed by many for that … but i love everything related to the human being.
I had always an inner desire of talking … but also connecting to the people around myself.
No matter who that person was … i loved to explore the energies … of any kind.
I was speaking to important people, but also to simple persons … and i enjoyed doing it all the time.
I could even say that i was actually doing that … like a hobby
which i was practicing all the time. And … i was doing that … for years.
Analyzing myself … seeing this joy of socializing with men and women of all ages … I understood i get a certain type of energy from that.
I was trying to understand the whole spectrum of personalities … that a human being can have … but i had not realized that meanwhile i was doing that … i’ve also connected to all those energies.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
61
DOING STUPID THINGS … AN AMAZING JOURNEY
... philosophical essays
I was exploring their inner worlds … and i loved this … weird hobby.
But all … was like a game … a very stupid game … which brought me indeed good vibes .. but also many negative energies into my life.
I did not understood that i can indeed explore the world … and also all those inner worlds of all those people around myself … but i should do it more as a … spectator.
Explore … but be aware of connecting so easily to anyone … to all sorts of energies which i was not really understanding. Yes … i was playing with fire.
and let my inner world be influenced… but also many times
be dominated … by lots of vibes ….
The price paid … for exploring the world … was huge … and even if i was enjoying this silly game … i was spending my life in an universe which looked like a cocktail of energies …. that i had no idea … what they were.
… but … still … i keep doing that …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
62
DOING STUPID THINGS … AN AMAZING JOURNEY
... philosophical essays
Every new day …. could be a new start ….
but we just don’t realize it.
When the day is finished … before going to bed … i try to totally disconnect .. from everything.
No matter if the day was good or bad … i know i need to
simple … reset myself.
Then i go to sleep.
After 8-9 hours … i wake up … and for few minutes i really don’t realize what is going on.
…. which is great.
It’s like i had a total restart … and i can probably decide … a totally new path for my destiny.
Well … until … suddenly i start to remember details about the recent past.
Then my vibe … starts to be … bad again.
I realize it was …. an illusion that all was fine … and i could
decide to follow new paths for my life.
The simple fact that for a short moment …. I was not having
clarity about what was going on … allowed me to have new beautiful projections.
But …. the next second i remembered the past … i felt again
prisoner of ugly circumstances.
And it happened like that again … and again … and again.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
63
DOING STUPID THINGS … AN AMAZING JOURNEY
... philosophical essays
Everyday … for a short moment … i felt the reset of my life … so that in the end to realize that all was just … illusory.
I could not understand … the meaning of all that. … was all … a nonsense?!
Why i felt i could change my day … and maybe also my life … so that into the end to be disappointed again.
But disappointed …. by whom?!
Maybe … by my disability of feeling for real .. and on long term … that change can happen?!
I meditate … everyday … asking myself about the meaning of day … and night.
and even if i know all could be a great opportunity …. of resetting everything … i just let myself dominated by my recent past.
I don’t allow myself to disconnect from ... all.
To dream … for real … of a new scenario for my own life.
I could not see … that every new day … has the potential of that energy … of a new beginning.
i was blind … and even if the Universe was whispering me something … everyday … it was all … useless.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
64
DOING STUPID THINGS … AN AMAZING JOURNEY
... philosophical essays
Sometimes indeed … stupid
things happen … but it all makes sense …
even if we don’t understand it
Many times happened to me lots of … nonsenses.
I can’t even … count those situations … cause there were a lot … but still … i’ve always realized that what is a nonsense today … a little bit later makes total sense.
Today … whenever something stupid happens to me …. I
simple smile.
I am not angry anymore.
… i don’t feel offended.
I am not complaining… like i did one million times before.
Yes … i just smile.
Somehow … i wait as all to stop … or things to change completely … by magic, but … even if i know that i am actually on a pathless path … i still have moments of refusing to accept that stupid things could ruin my reality.
I don’t accept … the signs that come to me … from beyond the scene of life.
I don’t accept the theory that the nonsense is whispering us something … and i refuse to see the message beyond the message.
And the nonsense is repeated on and on and on …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
65
DOING STUPID THINGS … AN AMAZING JOURNEY
... philosophical essays
I live into a reality … dominated by stupid energies … and even if i just had enough … i don’t do anything for changing my life.
I don’t realize the fact that i should not just smile … but stop following the paths … when i see so, so much nonsense. And i continue … having a life dominated only and only … by stupid things.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
66
DOING STUPID THINGS … AN AMAZING JOURNEY
... philosophical essays
Staying in karmic stories …. maybe
not such a wise idea
My last few years could be defined as … karmic years.
If i would try to define to you this concept of karma … karmic … i would only say that it’s more a lesson of life.
I would even dare to define it … not as something negative … but even contradictory.
In my actual perception … even if it’s so difficult to deal with karma …. and even if i don’t really like it so much … i’ve
started to accept those things … as part of my spiritual evolution.
I once read a nice quote …. “Karma is not a bitch …. but a
teacher” … and after this … i finally understand that i need to pay a certain type of respect for those situations. Acceptance was … the key.
The respect … for such person … or a spiritual entity …. that
wrote such scenario for my life … would also be important. It happens many times to hear the expression … “If God would really exists …. He would never allow as this to
happen.” … and maybe even if i did not said it … i thought that too.
Blaming God, Allah … the Universe … is silly.
I could even say … stupid.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
67
DOING STUPID THINGS … AN AMAZING JOURNEY
... philosophical essays
We should simple smile in front of difficult times … and only ask ourselves the meaning of all those lessons of life. Look at the message … beyond the message.
Realizing that karma is in fact a teacher that is whispering us philosophical and spiritual truths … is one of the smartest steps we could do … for becoming a better self.
Today … i continue smiling in front of such stories … that are repeated for me on and on and on …. I smile … then laugh.
And i do it first of all … realizing how silly i am.
I’ve started to accept the karmic stories.
I see all those situations … as scenarios that could redefine my conscious.
I understand it all has the purpose to take me out of the … illusion of the self.
I realize … that if i won’t see the meaning of those lessons … i’ll pay a huge price … again and again and again.
But in the same time … i know that if i will stay in the illusion
dominated by the karmic energies that are beyond reality
it will be difficult to realize … that the illusion is not real. Keeping the right balance … between accepting circumstances … and all sorts of stories where we enter … and staying alone into a meditative state … it’s almost a must.
Be on the scene of life … but always analyze and define those scenarios … that we live.
I … deep inside myself … always want to get rid of karmic stories.
I hate them … but in the same time i know that i can’t easily get rid of those situations.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
68
DOING STUPID THINGS … AN AMAZING JOURNEY
... philosophical essays
The only trick remains … to accept the fact that i need to deal with karmic events … but also stay away from those energies … as much as i can.
I’ve recently decided to stop asking anything else to the Universe … except wisdom.
I understand … i need to be in karmic stories.
But also do my best … to stay away of those energies. I know i need to analyze and define the meaning of everything … so that in the end my life to be redefined … but i need also to stop believing that … the illusion of … this karmic story ….is actually real.
And indeed … my wisdom is not great … but … things started to be improved.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
69
DOING STUPID THINGS … AN AMAZING JOURNEY
... philosophical essays
Trying to look as super
heroes … such a silly idea … … a nonsense from … fairy tales.
I was at the coffee shop with a dear friend … psychiatrist … and a friend of him … that came and joined us.
I suddenly hear Joseph saying … “I want from all my heart to help her … get rid of her addiction for drugs.
And i am trying and trying and trying …. but …”
George … my friend .. the psychiatrist… smiles and replies … “My dear! You are not trying to save anyone! You simple pretend …
You want to look like a super hero from fairly tales …
pretending you want to save this young girl to get rid of her
addiction for drugs … but all you are doing is a reflection of
your addiction for fairy tales…
Nothing more … nothing less…”
I was shocked … of this perspective.
Suddenly… the conversation… stoped.
Nobody was saying anything.
The psychiatrist… gave us such s weird perspective…. over
the whole situation … and i could not believed it.
In a second … I’ve remembered my humanitarian work … and i’ve asked myself … do i suffer of the same stupidity as
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
70
DOING STUPID THINGS … AN AMAZING JOURNEY
... philosophical essays
Joseph?!
Do i really try to help people?! … or i have a stupid unconscious desire of pretending i was helping people … just to look as a star for all the people from the stage of my life?! Was i … a real honest person?!
Was i doing … all this humanitarian work for helping people … or for helping my ego to look into a great way?!
Hearing my friend, the psychiatrist… defining his friend in such a way … i’ve started to doubt about myself.
about my real intentions… and the purposes of all those paths … i was following.
I smiled …
There was nothing else to do in front of such a contradictory perception about something that looked so, so … great …. but ….
The balance of my perceptions started … and i’ve started to wonder … am i wasting my life again?!
Hmm … it was all so, so unclear …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
71
DOING STUPID THINGS … AN AMAZING JOURNEY
... philosophical essays
Disconnecting from everything is
sometimes … a must
I look at the influences around myself …. and i finally
understand the interferences that ruined many times my focus.
In fact … i was living many moments when i was not even remembering … what my focus was … or what the meaning of the concept … means.
But what was silly of me … all those years while exploring life
which was in fact my main hobby …. I did not understood all those energies around myself … but also the impact over my own being.
And even if i was not understanding what is really going on … i continued playing around with all those entities.
I loved … socializing.
I loved … connecting to anyone from the scene of my life. I loved … people … or at least this is what i thought …. until one day … when going deeper and deeper with my meditations … i just realized that i love … connections … Yes … i loved in fact … exploring those connections… not realizing i will pay a huge price for this.
I’ve attracted more and more and more people around myself … and i was really enjoying this game of …. socializing.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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DOING STUPID THINGS … AN AMAZING JOURNEY
... philosophical essays
But …. very late … after fucking my vibration on and on and
on … and in fact ruining my life with so much interferences … i finally decided to stop doing that … so often. Or at least … start to get rid of this addiction.
which was in fact just the addiction of exploring and understanding the world … where i was living in.
I ended … wanting simple to … disconnect from everything. To get rid of many of those stupid influences that were all the time on the scene of life … was just a decision.
One … that i could decide long time ago.
And … disconnecting … finally became a must … even if it looked so … impossible…
