It all becomes … a nightmare.
I lived all those experiences i am talking about … but also saw them at the people from my life.
But the main question became … how the hell we get rid of such an ugly dominance of ugly vibes?!
How can we protect ourselves?!
How can we find a way of changing this life scenario?! Well …
I’ve meditated a lot.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
17
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
I’ve tried to understand the meaning of all that … but … at least for my own case … the only option was just to say … “Fuck you!” … to whatever i disliked … and disappear. Everything else … was useless.
Cutting the connection between us … and all those ugly energies that are trying to dominate our souls … is the only real option.
At least for my case … but i am sure that this pattern could be applied to anyone.
Refusing to be dominated … especially by the negativity we find on the scene of our lives it’s a must. And … we should know it.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
18
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
There are so many moments in life
when we are dominated by our karmic experiences … but we are too blinds to see the whispered messages … from the Universe
I try to understand the world … analyzing and defining all from the scene of my own life.
I’ve also read a lot of books … but in the end i’ve just stopped doing that.
I’ve realized the real answers i was looking for … i will not find into that direction.
Most probably … reality … my own reality … was the key ….
But this reality was always … difficult.
Later on i’ve understood that it was not difficult … but … karmic.
And i had so, so many karmic experiences…
It was like i was into a school where i had lots of tests day by day.
It was all so … so annoying.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
19
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
I even started to hate the word karmic … not understanding why the hell i have to live such experiences.
But you see … not even for a second i could not make the connection between my desire of understanding the world i was living in … and my karmic experiences.
It was all a way of teaching me … the secrets about the illusion of the self … and i could not see that.
Time was passing and i’ve started to become dominated by the fear of having those experiences … but … still … i could not see deeper.
This karmic domination was so, so powerful … that i was actually too blind …. to see its messages. I’ve started to be more annoyed than ever.
I felt ruined emotionally … and just hated my own life … Until one day … when i finally understood i am actually in a prison of perceptions and all those events were taking place just for my spiritual evolution.
The meaning … was not to ruin my life … making me feel dominated by lots of negative emotions …. but … to reveal me the secrets of the illusion of the self.
And i just smiled … realizing that all i have to do is just to
chance my perceptions.
Nothing more … nothing less …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
20
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Trying to influence is just the prelude before … dominance.
Influencing and being influenced is probably … normal.
But … the moment when the influence becomes dominance … everything is fucked up.
and i’ve saw it so many times … even with closed people from the scene of my life.
I’ve met her again.
We had to go and solve some problems together.
I’ve came to her house and take her to the to the gallery of art, where the other artists were waiting for us.
It was raining and the traffic was really bad … so we had to spend lots of time together in the car.
We’ve started to speak … but the moment i’ve began to talk about my theories with the energies beyond the scene of the real life … it was like she lost her minds.
I could not believe that she was having such a reaction … but suddenly I’ve remembered she was a very religious person. She never told me anything about religion … because she knew that she would waste her time … but … she started to act like a crazy person … the first moment when she realized
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
21
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
that i am talking about something totally contradictory than her religious believes.
I’ve been amazed of this behavior … but … i’ve decided to simple shut up.
She most certainly was afraid of being influenced … by the concepts i was talking about.
But she was so, so afraid of that … like i was trying to dominate her … which was not true. I was simple making conversation.
It was ridiculous to stay in the car and don’t talk at all … but i’ve accepted all just as it was.
And i’ve asked myself … why this fear of talking about something contradictory than her believes?! Why people are so afraid of influences?!
Maybe we associate the concept of being influenced with the one of domination …. and we know the negative effects of that.
For me it was indeed a curious fact that a religious person could have such a reaction … but maybe she knew how she was usually acting when trying to convince people to come to her church.
So … even the tendency of trying to influence … was a negative intention.
And she knew it … cause i saw her dominated by her believes
that she could not discuss … not even for a second of something different.
I smiled … and shut up. I continued driving …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
22
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
I realized that if i want to speak about my weird theories … i could simple do it with strangers from the internet.
It was a much better …. scenario ….
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
23
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Dancing … we learn to synchronize
and suddenly realize that domination is … useless for a
beautiful relationship
I was watching the movie she sent me.
They were dancing … and seeing and movie again and again
i saw them synchronizing so well. They looked like the … perfect couple.
But they were a couple … only on the stage … at the dancing competitions.
And still … the energy of the show was … amazing.
I’ve somehow realized that it’s all a show that is sending a very simple message …” forget about dominance … and just synchronize.”
I still have the regret that i don’t know to dance … but i’ve study a lot the concept of synchronizing … while dancing.
in a theoretical way.
I see it as the key for … beautiful relationships. Yesterday and even today … i’ve spent a lots of time watching again movies … with people dancing.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
24
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Professional dancers … but also couples …. and even people
that it’s so obvious that they are in love.
And i smile.
I look at the standard pattens of relationships … between man and woman …. and especially the ones married … and i
see again and again …. the idea of dominance.
And i ask myself … why we waste our lives like that?!
What if we should … all …. the ones involved in relationships
study more the art of dancing …. and try to analyze more the purpose of …. synchronizing?!
The question … remains … and it keeps being repeated into my mind.
It’s somehow all related with our fears … of losing what we have in the present moment.
And instead of focusing on the beauty of the moment … enjoy it like something that might look as a reflection of eternity … we let ourselves be dominated by … the fear of losing what we have now.
We suddenly stop hearing the beauty of the music of life … and ….
Well … all is fucked up … Hahahaha
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
25
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Practicing sexual games …
pretending we are … or we want … sexual slaves … a way of revealing the unconscious desire of dominance
I keep continue analyzing … all around myself.
But this time i want to go … deeper.
to understand things beyond the scene of the real life. And as every time when i need to know how a woman is thinking … i invite my friend Sheila to a coffee shop.
She’s all the time laughing of me … saying on and on… that i ll never understand the woman …. but i smile … and let her continue her speech.
Few days ago … we talked about sexual games and i’ve dared to ask her … why she’s pretending she’s a sexual slave for her husband.
Sheila … started to laugh … defining me … idiot … like always
but again being so, so curious to find out what a woman is thinking … i stoped myself to give her a reply ….
I just shut up … letting her to speak.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
26
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
“You see … my dear Gabriel … life itself … it’s an illusion.
It’s just as you defined it … in your books.
But us … the feminine souls from this world … realizing this stupid desire of men … for dominating us … we’ve invented these sexual games.
And it’s not that we let you for a while to dominate us … but … we even pretend that we are … your slaves.
We let the unconscious desire from you to be revealed.
And you … all the men from this plannet … like it.
You adore … those games.
Then … we … the smart ladies … pretend so … so well. But the moment … the sex session is finishing …. and we
come back to the real life … we just remind all of you … to change the roles.
Then you become … our slaves.” I started to laugh.
“So … you wanna tell me that you simple play with our minds
like you do with your husband telling him … fuck me my boss!!! … and then … coming back to reality …. into the real life … we just all become … your slaves?!”
“Well … yes.
It’s a game … and it’s fair … to also change the roles.
When we have sex … we act as slaves … and then we simple ask you to switch the roles.
It’s all … ok. Normal.
You don’t like the idea?!
Or should i ask … you don’t like how things really are?!”
I was listening to Sheila and i could not believe all what she was saying.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
27
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
But then …. after calming down … i started to ask myself …
what if she was right?!
Sheila was not … stupid.
I knew that she was many times dominating her husband … and i also knew that she adored the sexual games. But everything had indeed … a price.
And whatever we do into this world … sooner or later we’ll see the reflection of that.
All we need to do … is remember about this theory … and maybe continue playing the games of life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
28
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
We can continue living in the chaos of the outside world forever … and simple decide one day to stay more in the silence from the inside world.
Or at least keep the right balance between those 2 Universes.
I have an addiction for staying on the stage of the real life … believing i really need to be there. I do this by such a long, long time.
But one day … i’ve asked myself … why the hell i do this ….
when in fact i always end up being ruined emotionally?!
What i am hiding of?!
What do i try to avoid … having this stupid addiction?!
But also … why i can’t stop myself … and i want to be just on the stage of life?!
Why i avoid staying with myself?!
Then i somehow realized that i need to study again the definition of the term addiction.
And try to understand what is the meaning of that addiction for me.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
29
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Why do i believe that this addiction helps me?!
Why?!
Why?!
Why?!
Maybe i could ask … why i am such an idiot to believe in the
help of the addictions?!
… of any addiction?!
But on the other hand … i just loved to be on this scene of reality … and also act as a great actor.
I was continuing … doing that on and on and on … but …. I
started into the same time to have an emotional balance… followed by contradictory thoughts.
I statically saw that …. basically i was living into 2 parallel
universes.
In night and early in the morning … i was living in silence … but during the day … i was always living in the chaos of the real life.
I continued balancing like that between living in chaos … and relax in silence … for years.
With a stupidity very difficult to be understood … and also accepted … i was still taking everyday the decision of living like that.
I allowed myself be dominated by the chaos from the outside world.
Everyday … i was doing the same.
I could not stop this stupid addiction for chaos ….. but you
know why?!
Hmm … well … i was afraid of the silence from my soul.
I was afraid staying only there.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
30
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
I could allow this amazing energy that came to me from the connection with my inner world …. to always dominate my
life …. but …
Into a silly way … i continued living in 2 parallel worlds ….
allowing to be dominated by ugly energies also.
And life continued like that … on and on and on.
I could not stop … my addiction.
And i did not even knew to keep … the right balance between chaos and … absolute silence.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
31
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Dreaming at too many fantasies … we end up living an illusory life.
… and nothing good really happens
Today i see so, so many people being dominated of lots of weird … desires.
They define all that as … fantasies.
Yes …. the term fantasy sounds … much, much better … until
one day when we realize that we invest lots of time and energy into that direction.
We actually live into an illusory reality from our minds … wanting it so much … that we totally forget about our daily lives.
I could almost say that we become prisoners of those parallel universes … being totally dominated by those obsessive desires … redefined as … fantasies.
I lived all those experiences i am talking about … but also saw them at the people from my life.
But the main question became … how the hell we get rid of such an ugly dominance of ugly vibes?!
How can we protect ourselves?!
How can we find a way of changing this life scenario?! Well …
I’ve meditated a lot.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
17
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
I’ve tried to understand the meaning of all that … but … at least for my own case … the only option was just to say … “Fuck you!” … to whatever i disliked … and disappear. Everything else … was useless.
Cutting the connection between us … and all those ugly energies that are trying to dominate our souls … is the only real option.
At least for my case … but i am sure that this pattern could be applied to anyone.
Refusing to be dominated … especially by the negativity we find on the scene of our lives it’s a must. And … we should know it.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
18
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
There are so many moments in life
when we are dominated by our karmic experiences … but we are too blinds to see the whispered messages … from the Universe
I try to understand the world … analyzing and defining all from the scene of my own life.
I’ve also read a lot of books … but in the end i’ve just stopped doing that.
I’ve realized the real answers i was looking for … i will not find into that direction.
Most probably … reality … my own reality … was the key ….
But this reality was always … difficult.
Later on i’ve understood that it was not difficult … but … karmic.
And i had so, so many karmic experiences…
It was like i was into a school where i had lots of tests day by day.
It was all so … so annoying.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
19
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
I even started to hate the word karmic … not understanding why the hell i have to live such experiences.
But you see … not even for a second i could not make the connection between my desire of understanding the world i was living in … and my karmic experiences.
It was all a way of teaching me … the secrets about the illusion of the self … and i could not see that.
Time was passing and i’ve started to become dominated by the fear of having those experiences … but … still … i could not see deeper.
This karmic domination was so, so powerful … that i was actually too blind …. to see its messages. I’ve started to be more annoyed than ever.
I felt ruined emotionally … and just hated my own life … Until one day … when i finally understood i am actually in a prison of perceptions and all those events were taking place just for my spiritual evolution.
The meaning … was not to ruin my life … making me feel dominated by lots of negative emotions …. but … to reveal me the secrets of the illusion of the self.
And i just smiled … realizing that all i have to do is just to
chance my perceptions.
Nothing more … nothing less …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
20
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Trying to influence is just the prelude before … dominance.
Influencing and being influenced is probably … normal.
But … the moment when the influence becomes dominance … everything is fucked up.
and i’ve saw it so many times … even with closed people from the scene of my life.
I’ve met her again.
We had to go and solve some problems together.
I’ve came to her house and take her to the to the gallery of art, where the other artists were waiting for us.
It was raining and the traffic was really bad … so we had to spend lots of time together in the car.
We’ve started to speak … but the moment i’ve began to talk about my theories with the energies beyond the scene of the real life … it was like she lost her minds.
I could not believe that she was having such a reaction … but suddenly I’ve remembered she was a very religious person. She never told me anything about religion … because she knew that she would waste her time … but … she started to act like a crazy person … the first moment when she realized
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
21
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
that i am talking about something totally contradictory than her religious believes.
I’ve been amazed of this behavior … but … i’ve decided to simple shut up.
She most certainly was afraid of being influenced … by the concepts i was talking about.
But she was so, so afraid of that … like i was trying to dominate her … which was not true. I was simple making conversation.
It was ridiculous to stay in the car and don’t talk at all … but i’ve accepted all just as it was.
And i’ve asked myself … why this fear of talking about something contradictory than her believes?! Why people are so afraid of influences?!
Maybe we associate the concept of being influenced with the one of domination …. and we know the negative effects of that.
For me it was indeed a curious fact that a religious person could have such a reaction … but maybe she knew how she was usually acting when trying to convince people to come to her church.
So … even the tendency of trying to influence … was a negative intention.
And she knew it … cause i saw her dominated by her believes
that she could not discuss … not even for a second of something different.
I smiled … and shut up. I continued driving …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
22
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
I realized that if i want to speak about my weird theories … i could simple do it with strangers from the internet.
It was a much better …. scenario ….
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
23
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Dancing … we learn to synchronize
and suddenly realize that domination is … useless for a
beautiful relationship
I was watching the movie she sent me.
They were dancing … and seeing and movie again and again
i saw them synchronizing so well. They looked like the … perfect couple.
But they were a couple … only on the stage … at the dancing competitions.
And still … the energy of the show was … amazing.
I’ve somehow realized that it’s all a show that is sending a very simple message …” forget about dominance … and just synchronize.”
I still have the regret that i don’t know to dance … but i’ve study a lot the concept of synchronizing … while dancing.
in a theoretical way.
I see it as the key for … beautiful relationships. Yesterday and even today … i’ve spent a lots of time watching again movies … with people dancing.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
24
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Professional dancers … but also couples …. and even people
that it’s so obvious that they are in love.
And i smile.
I look at the standard pattens of relationships … between man and woman …. and especially the ones married … and i
see again and again …. the idea of dominance.
And i ask myself … why we waste our lives like that?!
What if we should … all …. the ones involved in relationships
study more the art of dancing …. and try to analyze more the purpose of …. synchronizing?!
The question … remains … and it keeps being repeated into my mind.
It’s somehow all related with our fears … of losing what we have in the present moment.
And instead of focusing on the beauty of the moment … enjoy it like something that might look as a reflection of eternity … we let ourselves be dominated by … the fear of losing what we have now.
We suddenly stop hearing the beauty of the music of life … and ….
Well … all is fucked up … Hahahaha
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
25
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Practicing sexual games …
pretending we are … or we want … sexual slaves … a way of revealing the unconscious desire of dominance
I keep continue analyzing … all around myself.
But this time i want to go … deeper.
to understand things beyond the scene of the real life. And as every time when i need to know how a woman is thinking … i invite my friend Sheila to a coffee shop.
She’s all the time laughing of me … saying on and on… that i ll never understand the woman …. but i smile … and let her continue her speech.
Few days ago … we talked about sexual games and i’ve dared to ask her … why she’s pretending she’s a sexual slave for her husband.
Sheila … started to laugh … defining me … idiot … like always
but again being so, so curious to find out what a woman is thinking … i stoped myself to give her a reply ….
I just shut up … letting her to speak.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
26
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
“You see … my dear Gabriel … life itself … it’s an illusion.
It’s just as you defined it … in your books.
But us … the feminine souls from this world … realizing this stupid desire of men … for dominating us … we’ve invented these sexual games.
And it’s not that we let you for a while to dominate us … but … we even pretend that we are … your slaves.
We let the unconscious desire from you to be revealed.
And you … all the men from this plannet … like it.
You adore … those games.
Then … we … the smart ladies … pretend so … so well. But the moment … the sex session is finishing …. and we
come back to the real life … we just remind all of you … to change the roles.
Then you become … our slaves.” I started to laugh.
“So … you wanna tell me that you simple play with our minds
like you do with your husband telling him … fuck me my boss!!! … and then … coming back to reality …. into the real life … we just all become … your slaves?!”
“Well … yes.
It’s a game … and it’s fair … to also change the roles.
When we have sex … we act as slaves … and then we simple ask you to switch the roles.
It’s all … ok. Normal.
You don’t like the idea?!
Or should i ask … you don’t like how things really are?!”
I was listening to Sheila and i could not believe all what she was saying.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
27
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
But then …. after calming down … i started to ask myself …
what if she was right?!
Sheila was not … stupid.
I knew that she was many times dominating her husband … and i also knew that she adored the sexual games. But everything had indeed … a price.
And whatever we do into this world … sooner or later we’ll see the reflection of that.
All we need to do … is remember about this theory … and maybe continue playing the games of life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
28
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
We can continue living in the chaos of the outside world forever … and simple decide one day to stay more in the silence from the inside world.
Or at least keep the right balance between those 2 Universes.
I have an addiction for staying on the stage of the real life … believing i really need to be there. I do this by such a long, long time.
But one day … i’ve asked myself … why the hell i do this ….
when in fact i always end up being ruined emotionally?!
What i am hiding of?!
What do i try to avoid … having this stupid addiction?!
But also … why i can’t stop myself … and i want to be just on the stage of life?!
Why i avoid staying with myself?!
Then i somehow realized that i need to study again the definition of the term addiction.
And try to understand what is the meaning of that addiction for me.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
29
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Why do i believe that this addiction helps me?!
Why?!
Why?!
Why?!
Maybe i could ask … why i am such an idiot to believe in the
help of the addictions?!
… of any addiction?!
But on the other hand … i just loved to be on this scene of reality … and also act as a great actor.
I was continuing … doing that on and on and on … but …. I
started into the same time to have an emotional balance… followed by contradictory thoughts.
I statically saw that …. basically i was living into 2 parallel
universes.
In night and early in the morning … i was living in silence … but during the day … i was always living in the chaos of the real life.
I continued balancing like that between living in chaos … and relax in silence … for years.
With a stupidity very difficult to be understood … and also accepted … i was still taking everyday the decision of living like that.
I allowed myself be dominated by the chaos from the outside world.
Everyday … i was doing the same.
I could not stop this stupid addiction for chaos ….. but you
know why?!
Hmm … well … i was afraid of the silence from my soul.
I was afraid staying only there.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
30
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
I could allow this amazing energy that came to me from the connection with my inner world …. to always dominate my
life …. but …
Into a silly way … i continued living in 2 parallel worlds ….
allowing to be dominated by ugly energies also.
And life continued like that … on and on and on.
I could not stop … my addiction.
And i did not even knew to keep … the right balance between chaos and … absolute silence.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
31
DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Dreaming at too many fantasies … we end up living an illusory life.
… and nothing good really happens
Today i see so, so many people being dominated of lots of weird … desires.
They define all that as … fantasies.
Yes …. the term fantasy sounds … much, much better … until
one day when we realize that we invest lots of time and energy into that direction.
We actually live into an illusory reality from our minds … wanting it so much … that we totally forget about our daily lives.
I could almost say that we become prisoners of those parallel universes … being totally dominated by those obsessive desires … redefined as … fantasies.
