But … she remained angry … and he was laughing on and on and on.
John … this was his name … whispers her “Pleaseeee! let the
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
17
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
show go on … cause i always loved the song of life… “
but she did not care … being so damn realistic, but also hiding so well … all those negative thoughts which overwhelmed her by such a long time.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
18
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
He was a good soul … but such a bad man
When they met …. he offered himself to help her and her
family with something important for them.
Everybody appreciated all what he did … and they talked a lot about him in the train after they left that city.
And even told him one million times … thank you …. defining
his beautiful side.
But even if she was happy cause he offered himself to help … she felt something strange about him.
Is like she was feeling in the same time his beautiful … but also his dark side.
She knew … he is a real bad person.
Was looking like a devil … disguised in angel.
But her family continued to keep this good image for him.
And she trusted so much … her intuition.
How can be such a contradiction in the attributes that were defining this weird guy … and the real truth?!
Damn it … he looked such a good soul … but she was so sure …. he was a man with so many sins in his past.
Was analyzing him … and could not understand what the hell is he doing?!
Was he pretending?!
Damn it … was he such a great actor?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
19
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
Was he pretending so well?!
Why was the devil disguised into a … an angel?!
Why her family saw just the angel and she was so sure about his devil side?
Hmmm …. a total nonstandard person.
But she continued to analyze him on and on and on … not being so sure in the end … what to believe.
One day he had the chance to meet him again … and she was still obsessed about who was in fact this guy.
And looking into his eyes … finally got the message.
He was a bad man … indeed.
With lots of sins.
But he was cleaning his karma … changing his life from not being oriented anymore into doing bad things to … but helping the people from the timeline of his life.
The only problem was that she saw the past, which was revealed to her so, so easily by her intuition. But why was he on the timeline of her life?!
And why she appeared to him??
Maybe as Mark to show to her that the path to change really exists … and she start this process also.
Or maybe she was the “ghost” … that keep reminding him about all his bad things which used to define him not so long time ago.
I am sure that both of look were somehow a mirror one for the other … but they could not see that it.
Mark started to dislike that Sheila reminded her so often that he is a bad man … and begins to analyze and define her all the time also.
And what could be at least a beautiful friendship …. not
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
20
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
understanding that the meaning of their story was not to judge each other, but help to redefine the other side into a beautiful way … it all became an annoying story. … from both perspective.
So they liked each other and even needed each other … but all having a karmic meaning … it was all difficult to be understood very clearly.
And the best thing to do was to … run …. one of another …
hoping they will never see again during this lite time … but not knowing that if it’s about a karmic character … we can’t get rid of that person.
And even if that person disappears …. someone else …
having the same role will appear again.
The story will be repeated.
There is no escape at all, but understand the meaning of all that.
Otherwise will be repeated on and on and on.
You see … we all have good and bad attributes that define us. Some people will see our beautiful side and some people our dark side.
There will be so, so many to remind us … that no matter what we do now ... we will still remain that bad person … but i believe that we all have the right to follow new paths.
If the soul is a good one … no matter what we’ve done in our past … we will always be allowed to change who we want to be … or become.
The past it’s not a prison.
It can’t define us forever.
Simple can’t …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
21
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
Change is part of life … and just the power of our intentions … defines what we can be.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
22
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
In the end … the collapse of the world will be seen as a comedy … and the best chance for changing our lives. All we need to do
is just … smile and remember that it’s all an illusion
I do believe a lot in a process of self therapy … which consists in analyzing, defining and redefining our lives. But i also look back into my past …. and i keep wondering
myself if all i thought about that reality was true or not. What if it was just … a perception?!
I analyzed so many times my life and defined it so wrong … so the question now is … should i continue doing that, or just stop … and simple live life as it is.
Should i still bother to ask myself so, so many questions?!
Should i continue the self therapy?!
I have so many contradictory thoughts …. and don’t really
know what should i do … but still my intuition says i should continue the path.
Then … later on i understand where the disappointment came from.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
23
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
So, so many weird situations … being most of the times … nonsenses ….
I saw everything collapsed.
Saw the end of the world …. or my inner world i mean.
But all …. It was so damn illusory.
Looking back i even dare to say that … it was all kind of a comedy.
A silly combination of annoying with funny situations … but the effect was looking … so tragically … and i believed it was real.
Hahaha … all it was an illusory tragic comedy and i thought it was real.
But i closed my eyes … and i prayed.
How the hell can i do the praying?!
I totally forgot.
Then i understood… that the whole meaning was that … the change was knocking at my door. I saw the tragedy.
I saw the end … of the world.
But damn it … i could not see the opportunity of change. Of course …. I continued being blind … and i wondered
realizing the illusion, when the hell … awakening … the real one … will appear into my life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
24
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
Sometimes is all about the art of
destroying each other …. and
nothing more
During the years i had so, so many conflicts that i can say that i have a huge experience regarding the subject.
In fact i could write a book about all my conflicts … but unfortunately not even one page about how we could stop having them.
I smile saying it … but i believe that even if i had the chance to study so often the subject … is like the Universe was whispering me in japanese … cause i am not understanding the nonsense of being in such situations. And the result?!
Well … i continue doing it on and on and on.
My friend Paul is laughing all the time seeing me in such stories.
And keep asking me … can’t i see the pattern of all those problems?!
One day he says …
“Your life looks like the book - TRILOGY OF CONFLICTS REPEATED ON AND ON AND ON.
But all i can say is that in all those stories … are about nonsense and nothing more.
And i wonder why you can’t see that?”
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
25
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
But i ignored all those thoughts.
Later on …. realizing it’s so annoying being involved in
conflicts that never ends … i closed my eyes and said to
myself:
“Just stop!
I want to see them … stop!
Had enough!”
But guess what?!
Things did not stoped.
Reality was looking like a cartoon movie with Tom & Jerry … but all those people were not cartoon characters … and looked so damn real.
It all became an obsession for my mind …. why the hell my
reality was looking like that?!
Why this total nonsense?!
We were so involved in those conflictual stories that in the end it all became about the art of destroying … each other. Damn it!
It was something …. karmic!
The answer was so simple …. and i could not see it.
I’ve done that for so many years in the row … and now … it was almost looking too late to change anything … but maybe i still had a small chance so that i can change a little bit. So … what was the karmic message?!
What really meant … this nonsense art of destroying each other?!
Well … maybe simple not understanding that all we see in the Universe is just one … entity.
And i did not saw the connections with all those souls.
I was … blind.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
26
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
So damn …. blind.
But why?!
Was i idiots?
What about them?!
… idiots also?!
Well … seeing the passion that we had … enjoying all those conflicts … yes … indeed we proved so obvious … how idiots we were.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
27
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
Want to get rid of your enemies?! Well …. love them …. and they will become your friends.
I recently had a new conflict … which was driven my crazy. The guy was a total idiot … and i can’t find the necessary words to define him so that i can be understood.
The problem itself was quite important for myself to be solve … and i could not get rid of the image of this guy .
I had that image in my mind 24 / 7 …. and even if i was
talking to myself all the time, trying to come with very good arguments that i need to stop at least the conflict from my mind … it was all useless.
Nothing … worked to calm me down.
Damn it!
It was like when someone is in love and the image of the loved person … remains active all the time in the mind of the person that is fallen in love.
But in my case … was kind of contradictory example, cause it was about … hate … not love.
So … the opposite of being in love …
But still i could not get rid of the image of that bastard … Damn it!
I was thinking and thinking and thinking again.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
28
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
I had to cure my mind … cause i was quite nervous by such a long, long time and nothing worked to stop this conflict … and especially the one from my mind.
Little by little … seeing how this story is ruining my days and nights … i convinced myself to stop hating the idiot. Even stop naming him … idiot.
In one point … i asked myself … to name him … friend.
I knew it was something karmic … which actually meant that i need to learn a life lesson … and i knew theory so damn well … but …
And i stoped hating him … and still … was not enough.
I had to love … that damn idiot … and send the vibes of that love to him.
The karmic chain …. could not be broken ….without love.
But how the hell could i convince myself to love a guy that fucked my vibe for such a long time?! Hmm.
Impossible…. but it became also impossible to live with him
in my mind.
And i tried all the tricks …. but nothing worked.
I had to be honest.
Honest with myself.
I had to forgive the guy … and give him that love that an adult is giving to a small child that is doing silly things.
He was acting as an idiot … but … i had to show him that … i am not like him … and i can teach him a very important lesson … that an enemy can become a friend. Hate can be metamorphosed … into love.
The lesson … was on both sides.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
29
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
He needed to stop acting like a silly kid … and i had to prove myself that …. I can become a wiser person. It was all a test.
The test of … illusions …. so that i can understand better …
the life itself.
Love and hate … 2 contradictory concepts … but once we understand them … everything will be changed in our daily lives.
There will not be anymore …. useless conflicts.
No … enemies.
…. Just friends.
And life …. will be perfect.
We will love it so, so much … and enjoying it.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
30
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
Away from home
…. It’s so damn beautiful
He was married.
She was married also … but not with him.
They were … friends by already a long time … and they had something in common … the desire of changing their lives. But the change they were chasing …. was simple … following
the path of …. happiness.
They were at an age when … they already got all what they wanted in life.
And it was funny … cause they had everything they ever wanted … and still they felt … they have nothing. They felt their souls … empty.
But one day John … whatsapp Jill … “Hey my dear …. what if i
come … and take you to the beach … for a walk?!” “John … the beach is so far away. At least few hundred miles.
My husband will lose his mind if he will not find me at home.” “My dear … my wife will do the same.
But why we should be afraid of those 2 persons that are making us … feel miserable… by years?! Come on … let’s do it!”
Jill accepts the challenge …. and 2 hours later … their were
walking and admiring the beach and the sea.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
31
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
He was looking at her … and could not believe it.
She was so damn beautiful … and her vibe was amazing. Suddenly …. they realized that they don’t feel their souls … empty … anymore.
The sensation was so weird.
Jill smiles to him … saying … “John! They will kill us.
Your wife and my husband … will 100% kill us … finding out where we are.”
“My dear … i have no doubt about that.
But you know what?! … it will be a beautiful death.
I love the walk … near the sea … having you in my arms.
At home … i feel dead … by years.
And most probably you feel the same things that i feel …” “Yes John … it will be a beautiful death.
And you not even … kissed me … but the vibe of this place ….
being in your company … makes me happy.”
They continued the walk … and for the first time … after so, so many years … they felt alive. And it was … so damn good …
Not even … the death would scare them today … cause now their souls were fulfilled with … joy.
John … this was his name … whispers her “Pleaseeee! let the
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
17
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
show go on … cause i always loved the song of life… “
but she did not care … being so damn realistic, but also hiding so well … all those negative thoughts which overwhelmed her by such a long time.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
18
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
He was a good soul … but such a bad man
When they met …. he offered himself to help her and her
family with something important for them.
Everybody appreciated all what he did … and they talked a lot about him in the train after they left that city.
And even told him one million times … thank you …. defining
his beautiful side.
But even if she was happy cause he offered himself to help … she felt something strange about him.
Is like she was feeling in the same time his beautiful … but also his dark side.
She knew … he is a real bad person.
Was looking like a devil … disguised in angel.
But her family continued to keep this good image for him.
And she trusted so much … her intuition.
How can be such a contradiction in the attributes that were defining this weird guy … and the real truth?!
Damn it … he looked such a good soul … but she was so sure …. he was a man with so many sins in his past.
Was analyzing him … and could not understand what the hell is he doing?!
Was he pretending?!
Damn it … was he such a great actor?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
19
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
Was he pretending so well?!
Why was the devil disguised into a … an angel?!
Why her family saw just the angel and she was so sure about his devil side?
Hmmm …. a total nonstandard person.
But she continued to analyze him on and on and on … not being so sure in the end … what to believe.
One day he had the chance to meet him again … and she was still obsessed about who was in fact this guy.
And looking into his eyes … finally got the message.
He was a bad man … indeed.
With lots of sins.
But he was cleaning his karma … changing his life from not being oriented anymore into doing bad things to … but helping the people from the timeline of his life.
The only problem was that she saw the past, which was revealed to her so, so easily by her intuition. But why was he on the timeline of her life?!
And why she appeared to him??
Maybe as Mark to show to her that the path to change really exists … and she start this process also.
Or maybe she was the “ghost” … that keep reminding him about all his bad things which used to define him not so long time ago.
I am sure that both of look were somehow a mirror one for the other … but they could not see that it.
Mark started to dislike that Sheila reminded her so often that he is a bad man … and begins to analyze and define her all the time also.
And what could be at least a beautiful friendship …. not
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
20
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
understanding that the meaning of their story was not to judge each other, but help to redefine the other side into a beautiful way … it all became an annoying story. … from both perspective.
So they liked each other and even needed each other … but all having a karmic meaning … it was all difficult to be understood very clearly.
And the best thing to do was to … run …. one of another …
hoping they will never see again during this lite time … but not knowing that if it’s about a karmic character … we can’t get rid of that person.
And even if that person disappears …. someone else …
having the same role will appear again.
The story will be repeated.
There is no escape at all, but understand the meaning of all that.
Otherwise will be repeated on and on and on.
You see … we all have good and bad attributes that define us. Some people will see our beautiful side and some people our dark side.
There will be so, so many to remind us … that no matter what we do now ... we will still remain that bad person … but i believe that we all have the right to follow new paths.
If the soul is a good one … no matter what we’ve done in our past … we will always be allowed to change who we want to be … or become.
The past it’s not a prison.
It can’t define us forever.
Simple can’t …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
21
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
Change is part of life … and just the power of our intentions … defines what we can be.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
22
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
In the end … the collapse of the world will be seen as a comedy … and the best chance for changing our lives. All we need to do
is just … smile and remember that it’s all an illusion
I do believe a lot in a process of self therapy … which consists in analyzing, defining and redefining our lives. But i also look back into my past …. and i keep wondering
myself if all i thought about that reality was true or not. What if it was just … a perception?!
I analyzed so many times my life and defined it so wrong … so the question now is … should i continue doing that, or just stop … and simple live life as it is.
Should i still bother to ask myself so, so many questions?!
Should i continue the self therapy?!
I have so many contradictory thoughts …. and don’t really
know what should i do … but still my intuition says i should continue the path.
Then … later on i understand where the disappointment came from.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
23
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
So, so many weird situations … being most of the times … nonsenses ….
I saw everything collapsed.
Saw the end of the world …. or my inner world i mean.
But all …. It was so damn illusory.
Looking back i even dare to say that … it was all kind of a comedy.
A silly combination of annoying with funny situations … but the effect was looking … so tragically … and i believed it was real.
Hahaha … all it was an illusory tragic comedy and i thought it was real.
But i closed my eyes … and i prayed.
How the hell can i do the praying?!
I totally forgot.
Then i understood… that the whole meaning was that … the change was knocking at my door. I saw the tragedy.
I saw the end … of the world.
But damn it … i could not see the opportunity of change. Of course …. I continued being blind … and i wondered
realizing the illusion, when the hell … awakening … the real one … will appear into my life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
24
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
Sometimes is all about the art of
destroying each other …. and
nothing more
During the years i had so, so many conflicts that i can say that i have a huge experience regarding the subject.
In fact i could write a book about all my conflicts … but unfortunately not even one page about how we could stop having them.
I smile saying it … but i believe that even if i had the chance to study so often the subject … is like the Universe was whispering me in japanese … cause i am not understanding the nonsense of being in such situations. And the result?!
Well … i continue doing it on and on and on.
My friend Paul is laughing all the time seeing me in such stories.
And keep asking me … can’t i see the pattern of all those problems?!
One day he says …
“Your life looks like the book - TRILOGY OF CONFLICTS REPEATED ON AND ON AND ON.
But all i can say is that in all those stories … are about nonsense and nothing more.
And i wonder why you can’t see that?”
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
25
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
But i ignored all those thoughts.
Later on …. realizing it’s so annoying being involved in
conflicts that never ends … i closed my eyes and said to
myself:
“Just stop!
I want to see them … stop!
Had enough!”
But guess what?!
Things did not stoped.
Reality was looking like a cartoon movie with Tom & Jerry … but all those people were not cartoon characters … and looked so damn real.
It all became an obsession for my mind …. why the hell my
reality was looking like that?!
Why this total nonsense?!
We were so involved in those conflictual stories that in the end it all became about the art of destroying … each other. Damn it!
It was something …. karmic!
The answer was so simple …. and i could not see it.
I’ve done that for so many years in the row … and now … it was almost looking too late to change anything … but maybe i still had a small chance so that i can change a little bit. So … what was the karmic message?!
What really meant … this nonsense art of destroying each other?!
Well … maybe simple not understanding that all we see in the Universe is just one … entity.
And i did not saw the connections with all those souls.
I was … blind.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
26
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
So damn …. blind.
But why?!
Was i idiots?
What about them?!
… idiots also?!
Well … seeing the passion that we had … enjoying all those conflicts … yes … indeed we proved so obvious … how idiots we were.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
27
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
Want to get rid of your enemies?! Well …. love them …. and they will become your friends.
I recently had a new conflict … which was driven my crazy. The guy was a total idiot … and i can’t find the necessary words to define him so that i can be understood.
The problem itself was quite important for myself to be solve … and i could not get rid of the image of this guy .
I had that image in my mind 24 / 7 …. and even if i was
talking to myself all the time, trying to come with very good arguments that i need to stop at least the conflict from my mind … it was all useless.
Nothing … worked to calm me down.
Damn it!
It was like when someone is in love and the image of the loved person … remains active all the time in the mind of the person that is fallen in love.
But in my case … was kind of contradictory example, cause it was about … hate … not love.
So … the opposite of being in love …
But still i could not get rid of the image of that bastard … Damn it!
I was thinking and thinking and thinking again.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
28
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
I had to cure my mind … cause i was quite nervous by such a long, long time and nothing worked to stop this conflict … and especially the one from my mind.
Little by little … seeing how this story is ruining my days and nights … i convinced myself to stop hating the idiot. Even stop naming him … idiot.
In one point … i asked myself … to name him … friend.
I knew it was something karmic … which actually meant that i need to learn a life lesson … and i knew theory so damn well … but …
And i stoped hating him … and still … was not enough.
I had to love … that damn idiot … and send the vibes of that love to him.
The karmic chain …. could not be broken ….without love.
But how the hell could i convince myself to love a guy that fucked my vibe for such a long time?! Hmm.
Impossible…. but it became also impossible to live with him
in my mind.
And i tried all the tricks …. but nothing worked.
I had to be honest.
Honest with myself.
I had to forgive the guy … and give him that love that an adult is giving to a small child that is doing silly things.
He was acting as an idiot … but … i had to show him that … i am not like him … and i can teach him a very important lesson … that an enemy can become a friend. Hate can be metamorphosed … into love.
The lesson … was on both sides.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
29
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
He needed to stop acting like a silly kid … and i had to prove myself that …. I can become a wiser person. It was all a test.
The test of … illusions …. so that i can understand better …
the life itself.
Love and hate … 2 contradictory concepts … but once we understand them … everything will be changed in our daily lives.
There will not be anymore …. useless conflicts.
No … enemies.
…. Just friends.
And life …. will be perfect.
We will love it so, so much … and enjoying it.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
30
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
Away from home
…. It’s so damn beautiful
He was married.
She was married also … but not with him.
They were … friends by already a long time … and they had something in common … the desire of changing their lives. But the change they were chasing …. was simple … following
the path of …. happiness.
They were at an age when … they already got all what they wanted in life.
And it was funny … cause they had everything they ever wanted … and still they felt … they have nothing. They felt their souls … empty.
But one day John … whatsapp Jill … “Hey my dear …. what if i
come … and take you to the beach … for a walk?!” “John … the beach is so far away. At least few hundred miles.
My husband will lose his mind if he will not find me at home.” “My dear … my wife will do the same.
But why we should be afraid of those 2 persons that are making us … feel miserable… by years?! Come on … let’s do it!”
Jill accepts the challenge …. and 2 hours later … their were
walking and admiring the beach and the sea.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
31
IF IT'S NO LOVE IT'S KARMIC
philosophical essays
He was looking at her … and could not believe it.
She was so damn beautiful … and her vibe was amazing. Suddenly …. they realized that they don’t feel their souls … empty … anymore.
The sensation was so weird.
Jill smiles to him … saying … “John! They will kill us.
Your wife and my husband … will 100% kill us … finding out where we are.”
“My dear … i have no doubt about that.
But you know what?! … it will be a beautiful death.
I love the walk … near the sea … having you in my arms.
At home … i feel dead … by years.
And most probably you feel the same things that i feel …” “Yes John … it will be a beautiful death.
And you not even … kissed me … but the vibe of this place ….
being in your company … makes me happy.”
They continued the walk … and for the first time … after so, so many years … they felt alive. And it was … so damn good …
Not even … the death would scare them today … cause now their souls were fulfilled with … joy.
