Maybe ....
Maybe … we are not afraid of our loneliness ....
But maybe … we are afraid of our emptiness ........
(Arij Emaan)
It explains a lot
… why i run all the time
Doing useless things on and on and on.
I was hiding a horrible truth
For years
Running away …
Focusing a lot on the nonsense Pretending i am busy … but until when?!
Well … maybe i’ll accept the truth That i am not running in fact
of loneliness … but of my emptiness. (Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
20
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Still not undestanding ...
That …
You Still Don't Understand ....
How egoistic I am...???
That …
In whichever situation I may be......
In case you would ask....
I will say that I am fine...!!
Wherever you would like to get rid of yourself....!!
I will leave it...!!!
I will say goodbye to you....!!!
(Arij Emaan)
I look deeper ….
Trying to understand the masculine spirit also.
And … i see my egoistic way of being too.
But still … i need her …
That magic soul … to raise my vibe again … But how idiotic i could act …
I said … good bye … forever …. by such a long, long time …
expecting as her to come back.
Discussing with Arij … i redefine my perceptions and most probably her perceptions are also redefined. She is such a great teacher.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
21
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Much younger …. but … helps me understand the feminine
spirit.
I also told her so many things about us … the men.
And still … we could not understand … we need to stop being … egoistic.
But our talks … continues.
On and on and on.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
22
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Anger ...
I want to make the whole world laugh.
And want to hide his anger....
(Arij Emaan)
I was … smiling.
She felt again that i was … angry.
I smiled … but deep inside myself … i was angry on … eternal mode.
… by such a long, long time.
Somehow she was happy seeing me pretending, even if she knew so well … that i’ve been balancing so often between being joyful and … angry.
But … the truth is that with her … i was different.
In her presence … i was smiling … and many times … even laughing.
She knew how to reveal …. my beautiful side … and made me
forget about all my illusory perceptions about life.
In fact … in her presence … i knew and actually loved to connect to the present moment. And … i loved it.
But …. she was just a character from … my dreams.
So … not even a perceptions, but … an illusion … probably … a beautiful one.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
23
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
And still … i was happy … i had the chance to meet her … in one way or another.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
24
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
My own way …
I'm right in my own way....
But people's point of view is different....
(Arij Emaan)
I am smiling again … understanding her thoughts.
I know it’s all a perception …. no matter of the subject we
are discussing about … but …
I have this understanding with Arij … that all our writings will be kind of a philosophical dance … which will actually try to explain the whole spectrum of perspectives … a human mind can have.
And we ignore the voice of the world … by such a long, long time.
Both … of us.
We understood long time ago the concept of … perceptions … and that perceptions cannot be the same.
Also … we should not even bother … to believe they are real or that they have absolute values.
Me and Arij are continuing writing … ignoring that their perceptions are so different … but smiling while listening to many of them.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
25
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
And i say that we smile and actually even laugh … cause many of those ideas … were our ideas long time ago.
Now we treat them as … illusory, but they look so damn real at that time.
Today, maybe for the 2 of us … it’s all like a game of playing around with … the illusion generated by the … perceptions. But it’s all nice …. cause we somehow found out how to
continue life … and our philosophical journey … without the interference of the voice of the world. We …listen.
We … analyze and we define all they believe, but … Well … we just continue our journey … cause it’s really a long, long way … going through all those perceptions.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
26
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Forgeting …
“How will that person forget us by forgetting us?! Yep … missed him for days but....
How will he forget if he just doesn't remember!” (Arij Emaan)
I remember that many years ago … when John and Maria were together … she told him … “Today you tell me 100 times a day that you love me … but years later you will meet me on the streets by accident and you will not remember my name.”
But John was annoyed of that perception from that time. The funny thing is that 10 years later … i was crossing the street with John, going together to sign an important contract … and a lady came to us saying … “John! Is that you?! Can’t believe it … it’s really you.” It was Maria.
It was more than 7 years since they broke up and John ….
not only that could not remember her name …. but not even
realized that we had Maria in front of our eyes. I look at her … i smile and say … “Hello Maria!”
She smiles and replies … “He does not even remember who i am. And i was so excited that i met both of you .. but … “. And leaves …. not even saying good bye.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
27
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
John looks at me asking … “Who the hell was she?!”
So Maria was right with what she said about him 10 years ago.
I thought also that it was just a perception about the future … but actually it was …. her intuition.
I remember they broke up … because of his jealousy … but … she always tried to make him jealous …. and one day
….having enough he decided to finish the story.
She asked for forgiveness… but it was … useless.
So … 10 years later .. even if for a long time Maria hoped that he will forgive her … he was not even remembering who the hell was she.
Actually … he completely forgot her … like everything happened in another lifetime. How could i define Maria?!
What about John?!
Well … difficult to say …
But i now realize … what connection means and what a totally broken connection … can reflect into the future. Arij was right … one more time …
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
28
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
In life ….
In life, there is no love or greed with some people....
But still there is a desire that
May they always be happy ....
We can't think bad of them....
Can't see
Nor can we do bad to them....
Some relationships are nameless.
But they are priceless
(Arij Emaan)
I always ask myself why some connections are part of my life.
Looks like a nonsense.
… with no real purpose.
I read Arij’s thoughts … and i smile.
I smile also in front of our relationship.
From the other side of the world … she inspires me all the time …
Day by day …
Everyday …
And it’s not about love.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
29
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
It’s not about greed.
It’s all about … a different type of connection that we don’t know to define.
We always look for a purpose … which is always so …. so …
silly … when the real purpose in any type of relationship should be … to have a good connection.
One that could be defined as … bringing us joy … with the simple fact that it exists.
Something that could be defined as … priceless.
A relationship that could learn us the art of having … a good connection …. a good relationship … with anyone we meet on the timeline of life.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
30
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
My heart …
My heart wants to get myself addicted to some cheap drugs.
Just forget the risks and enjoy the life.
Who has remained in their senses.....
It is very difficult ...
Always something keeps me worried....
Never got it ....
Never a good one at all...
(Arij Emaan)
I read her thoughts … and i smile.
I know she knows about illusions.
About the fact that she believes that illusions are just … perceptions …. and nothing more.
I connect to her and i remember that i used to be worried too
but at that time i did not knew about the fact that it’s all an illusion.
I write her … smiling … willing to find more about her thoughts.
I don’t want anymore for myself …. no drugs and no addictions.
Should be just … useless.
Today i know it … and i feel it … so damn well.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
31
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
I’d like to send this message … but ….
We lost a little bit the connection.
Maybe soon … the philosophical dance will continue. Probably after she will forget about the fact … that she is worried … and remember our talks about … illusions.
But they are so many … that we redefined the concept ….
perceptions.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
32
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
The dreams …
The dreams that dance in my
imagination Always make my life
so, so beautiful.....
(Arij Emaan)
When we were kids … we knew to dream.
… and we dreamed all the time.
We had millions of dreams … beautiful dreams.
Later on … we simple forget how to do that.
And …. we simple stoped doing it.
The loss was … huge.
But we don’t even realize it … but …
Well … sometimes the little kids remind us of that … and our perceptions are redefined again.
Too bad we don’t stay around them so much … to teach us again and again and again the art of … dreaming.
All should probably be a cocktail from real facts of the real life … and those dreams that …. could dance in our imagination.
Hmm … and still …
We do it … in the presence of kids … but later on … well … we simple disconnect from this perceptions of beautiful scenarios
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
33
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
for life.
We don’t know to keep the right balance between reality and our dreams …. and the energies from the scene of life
becomes so damn … dominant … that the concept itself of dreaming … starts to look illusory … and useless.
And all those dreams that danced in our imagination … simple stop … existing.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
34
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
My imperfections …
Deprivations , failure
my imperfection always push me to write
(Arij Emaan)
Well … i use to write in the morning … while drinking my coffee … and then late in the night when i drink my tea.
I start with hope … but many times i end the day … feeling … emotionally tired.
It’s weird … but i felt that so, so many times.
Then i change the word … weird … with … funny.
So … my essays from the morning … carries hope … and the ones in the night …. Hmm …
But i like my thoughts …. and my ideas.
I like them … cause i started to accept my all … sides … no matter how could be defined.
I look a lot with Arij … even if we never met.
She is kind of … an imaginary friend … but still … she is real.
Or at least … i hope so.
I look at her … how she’s defining her own imperfections … and …
Well …. I start to understand myself better … writing,
defining and realizing all about myself.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
35
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Writing becomes in the end … a therapy.
One …. that might help … to cure our lost souls.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
36
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Don't know ...
I don't know that what I wrote seriously....
and I also don't know what should I write ....
Somehow .. I'm defined by the nonsense ...and always I
write nonsense ….
(Arij Emaan)
Same i her … i’m actually in love with the nonsense, really believing that the nonsense itself it’s actually the key for understanding the real paths that we should follow.
And i have so, so many perceptions … not really knowing what i wrote yesterday … and what really were my thoughts. Today … most probably …i will believe something totally different.
I always do that.
And it’s not that i define the nonsense … but discussing so,
so long about it … the nonsense itself starts to … define me.
I thought i was just analyzing this spectrum of contradictory
perceptions … but …
No … no …
I loved to walk on … pathless paths.
I liked … the nonsense.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
37
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
I became one with it … but i just denied it … pretending i am kind of a philosopher …defining life and it’s meaning …
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
38
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Humans …
Humans are pain.
Humans are the ones who hurt.
Humans are restless.
Humans should be protected.
You need to stay away from humans.
But then …
Man is the peace of the soul and peace of the heart.
