Peoples,mountains
jungles ,trees
Sky ......
And sometimes I also
see moon and
stars, sunshine and sunset....
I also see clouds … rain …
and rainbows .......
Actually these are glimpses
Into which I always
remember my
dreams ......
(Arij Emaan)
Most probably my senses are responsible for my perceptions
but maybe i should detach of … everything … even of my dreams.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
59
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
You … in all ...
I kept found you in all
the things which I love the most.....
Including all beautiful places … natures
… books
and music....
(Arij Emaan)
My dear Arij is still young ….and dreams about love no
matter what is going on the scene of her life.
With me …. the story is probably different.
… totally different.
Long time ago … i found the guts to publish lots of books … carrying the world “love” into the title. But today …
Hmm .. things changed.
I make this trick with Arij … letting her talk about love and i am just commenting her thoughts … in the same way someone would talk about a football game …
So … what i am saying is just … that i am not a player anymore …
When i’n reading the thoughts of my friend … i smile … remembering how i’ve acted not so long time ago.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
60
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
But … it all came that time from the perceptions and the freedom i’ve gave to me at that time.
I actually allowed myself to be …. me … but today …. I’m not
doing that anymore.
I look at Arij’s thoughts and feelings …. and wonder myself
what the hell happened to me … that i lost this habit of talking and writing about … love?
Well … maybe i simple stop …. being myself.
I am just … talking about perceptions …. not feelings anymore ….
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
61
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Universe …
All universe feel better with its opposite
and also look beautiful
and give complete meaning Like…
Day … night Light … dark Good … bad God … devil
You are always … first
and I'm always last …. maybe
to complete you
(Arij Emaan)
We dislike lots of things in this world.
We have so contradictory perceptions and all it looks split
into positive and negative.
But what means … good?!
Maybe just a perception?!
What means … bad?!
… just another contradictory perception?!
Should a hero exists if there will be no enemy for him?!
What is the meaning of hate?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
62
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Why many love stories end with … hate?!
Why those people jump from love to … hate?!
Why when we over react we see the evil everywhere?!
What is the meaning of duality?!
Hahaha … so it now makes total sense the fact that i have so contradictory perceptions.
Today i write something … and few days later … i come with so different philosophical views.
Or maybe it’s all about … a change …
Changing my perceptions … on and on and on?!
But … yes … i like it … cause same as Arij was saying … “All universe feel better with its opposite
and also look beautiful
and give complete meaning”
I was feeling good … chasing for … the opposite.
It revealed me … some hidden secrets of life.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
63
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Teachers and friends …
My teachers and friends always called me philosopher or deep thinker ...
But whenever they say it … I never forget to remember you (Arij Emaan)
We are defined in so, so many ways.
Sometimes we like it … but sometimes … we just dislike it. I go into my past … look at all those definitions … and ask myself … what do i prefer?!
Maybe … being called … philosopher.
But today … i just hide that side of mine.
I am paying huge attention as people not to find out … my real occupation.
I love it … but i simple don’t want to know about this side of mine.
It’s easier to connect with people that don’t know me … talking on and on … about … my perceptions. Philosopher is something i used to be …. long time ago …. until i started my life as an adult.
A moment when i had to become … similar with the others.
And i had to forgot that i liked to be a philosopher.
Time was passing … and i ignored about this real definition
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
64
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
…. of myself.
But it happens … even if i avoid to have philosophical discussions … as someone to say … “You are a philosopher…” I smile … then i deny it.
I like that definition … but … yes … i deny it.
I want to look like an … ordinary person … ignoring my thoughts and all those weird perceptions …
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
65
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
I do not forget ...
I do not forget anything ....
I remember each and every thing
But I'm engage in some other practices ....
(Arij Emaan)
I ask myself if we still remember the things that we really need to do for this lifetime.
If … somehow … being dominated by all the daily problems … we actually forget the essential. I listen to Arij … and i smile.
I know that her words are related with … a love story. This was “the essential of my life” also … long … long time ago.
But … not anymore.
Today … maybe being disappointed by my past experiences … i decided to be focus on other things.
Totally different things. I simple ignore the past.
I did not forgot it …. but i just ignore it.
Same as Arij … i remember each and every thing … but i decided to focus in totally different directions.
She did … the same … but she’s more connected to the past. In her soul … i feel her … still in love.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
66
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
But …. I ignore all my feelings from the past.
Maybe … i just don’t care anymore about my feelings from such a long time ago … even if at that time … i adored those feelings which made me feel … alive.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
67
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
I fail …
Whenever I tried to do something....
I failed ....
Yes I always ....
In fact I'm most flopped personality of my life...
I spread dirt every where ....
I have found a lot of nonsenses around me...
I'm most hatred person of my life....
Whenever I met with myself
It always was not good to meet
(Arij Emaan)
I always run away by myself.
And for a long time … i could not understand why. But I will probably admit one day … that i dislike the connection i have with my soul.
And the fact that … I unconsciously decided to keep running … and running away … by myself.
It probably sounds depressive … all what me and Arij are writing … but it’s all a definition of what really happens with us.
We define … a connection that should be amazing … but it’s really not.
And all the words used … are not positive words.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
68
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
None one of it.
It sounds as a nonsense … but all the experiences are telling the same story.
On and on and on …
Or maybe … i start to wonder if it’s not that we dislike the connection with the inner self … but … we are afraid of it. Staying disconnected …. makes us fail … in everything … but still … we don’t realize it.
And continue … not being ready for the connection … Running away … by our own self.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
69
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
I'm tired …
I'm tired of doing wrong ....
I'm tired of my Indiscipline
nature .....
I'm tired of my irregularity .....
(Arij Emaan)
I always felt … that i’m different.
And i liked it … for a long, long time.
But now … same as my dear friend … i simple had enough of this style that i practice.
Maybe i changed my perceptions.
and maybe i’m also tired of all those perceptions. Yes … i’m tired.
Tired of how i act on the scene of life.
I’m acting as a weird introvert … that succeeds from time to time … to be also extrovert.
I could be defined as a person that suffers of irregularity. My soul is dominated by contradictions … and it all comes from my perceptions regarding life.
Unfortunately … i believed it was all a confusion. I mixed too much the concepts.
I fucked them … all.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
70
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
I confused my life with the life itself.
I thought that this balance of contradictory thoughts … it’s normal.
Until one day … when … i felt more and more tired.
I had to stop … doing what i was doing.
Maybe stop thinking that this weird balance of perceptions … was something good.
And also that being different … or weird … it’s also a positive idea.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
71
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Lose …
Lose ,lose and always lose ....
lose in every aspects ...
Where here I'm regular ?
Why here I'm disciplined??
(Arij Emaan)
I am usually not disciplined.
And actually totally dislike doing that … but when it comes about “losing” … i am kind of a … champion. I continue doing that … on and on and on.
But why do i live such a scenario?!
Why i don’t even mind that?!
Well … maybe it’s just a perception … cause in fact i am not losing anything at all …
I am just having some experiences … connecting and disconnecting from them.
Not even bothering that i am “losing” … those so called “chances” ….
My only joy comes from …. exploring …
I have this weird perception …. that is redefining this concept
of “losing” …
Cause i don’t even care …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
72
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
And every time i am actually chasing for new and new experiences.
Might look stupid … but … i love it.
And discipline … makes sense ….
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
73
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Upset …
I'm highly upset today....
So no need to show positive vibes (Arij Emaan)
I looked at her.
She looked sad.
She appeared again … on the stage of my life … but i could not see anymore that beautiful vibe from the past.
Maybe her perceptions about life … were different today. Or maybe she forgot …. why she had that amazing vibe … when we met last time.
She was the same person … but totally different.
Maybe because she was … upset.
Not even bothered anymore to show beautiful vibes … so … I look again into her eyes.
I wonder if maybe my perceptions over her … were changed
or she is really different. She has the same beauty.
…. that beauty of an amazing lady … but i ask myself … what about her soul?!
Did this upset … that looks more as a non ending story … affects her so, so much?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
74
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Am i looking at the same lady?!
Hmm ….
She looked totally disconnected … of those vibes of love … from her past.
Closing my eyes … seeing her smile from those times … i suddenly realize how powerful love is … cause the absence of that smile …. from the present moment … simple changes … everything at her.
And i am in front of 2 different perceptions regarding this beautiful lady … which i know by such a long, long … time. I still like her … but where the hell is her smile ….
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
75
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Weaknesses …
I have ability to express my weaknesses ....
So that people start telling stories on me...
about my failure (Arij Emaan)
I wrote so, so many illusory things over the years … but most probably all what i express is … my weakness. And people started to read my writings.
For me it was kind of a self therapy.
I was writing about what was wrong with me … but … i went deeper and deeper.
Reading my perceptions people started to realize that understanding my case … with all my weaknesses … being honest enough with themselves … they start to look like in a mirror.
They saw themselves deeper … I wrote for them … their stories.
They read … pretending they believed it’s about me … but
actually were analyzing all the details … feeling that i am
whispering something that they needed to know by a long,
long time.
But … still …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
76
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
They liked to talk about me … behind my back … defining my case … pretending it’s all about me … refusing to say … it’s all about them.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
77
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
They …
They ll just enjoy it....
They ll never try to solve it...
They ll never try to feel it...
Understand it
(Arij Emaan)
I saw them gossiping again.
They were all my friends.
the one that gossip … but also Tom and Andra … that used to be such an amazing couple.
But today … even if i had such a beautiful perception on them
as a couple …i see that the great love story … is gone. One of them … could write an amazing love book … but what use?!
i’m so sorry realizing that their story went to an end … cause i had moments when i believed that they are the expression of the eternal love.
jungles ,trees
Sky ......
And sometimes I also
see moon and
stars, sunshine and sunset....
I also see clouds … rain …
and rainbows .......
Actually these are glimpses
Into which I always
remember my
dreams ......
(Arij Emaan)
Most probably my senses are responsible for my perceptions
but maybe i should detach of … everything … even of my dreams.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
59
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
You … in all ...
I kept found you in all
the things which I love the most.....
Including all beautiful places … natures
… books
and music....
(Arij Emaan)
My dear Arij is still young ….and dreams about love no
matter what is going on the scene of her life.
With me …. the story is probably different.
… totally different.
Long time ago … i found the guts to publish lots of books … carrying the world “love” into the title. But today …
Hmm .. things changed.
I make this trick with Arij … letting her talk about love and i am just commenting her thoughts … in the same way someone would talk about a football game …
So … what i am saying is just … that i am not a player anymore …
When i’n reading the thoughts of my friend … i smile … remembering how i’ve acted not so long time ago.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
60
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
But … it all came that time from the perceptions and the freedom i’ve gave to me at that time.
I actually allowed myself to be …. me … but today …. I’m not
doing that anymore.
I look at Arij’s thoughts and feelings …. and wonder myself
what the hell happened to me … that i lost this habit of talking and writing about … love?
Well … maybe i simple stop …. being myself.
I am just … talking about perceptions …. not feelings anymore ….
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
61
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Universe …
All universe feel better with its opposite
and also look beautiful
and give complete meaning Like…
Day … night Light … dark Good … bad God … devil
You are always … first
and I'm always last …. maybe
to complete you
(Arij Emaan)
We dislike lots of things in this world.
We have so contradictory perceptions and all it looks split
into positive and negative.
But what means … good?!
Maybe just a perception?!
What means … bad?!
… just another contradictory perception?!
Should a hero exists if there will be no enemy for him?!
What is the meaning of hate?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
62
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Why many love stories end with … hate?!
Why those people jump from love to … hate?!
Why when we over react we see the evil everywhere?!
What is the meaning of duality?!
Hahaha … so it now makes total sense the fact that i have so contradictory perceptions.
Today i write something … and few days later … i come with so different philosophical views.
Or maybe it’s all about … a change …
Changing my perceptions … on and on and on?!
But … yes … i like it … cause same as Arij was saying … “All universe feel better with its opposite
and also look beautiful
and give complete meaning”
I was feeling good … chasing for … the opposite.
It revealed me … some hidden secrets of life.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
63
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Teachers and friends …
My teachers and friends always called me philosopher or deep thinker ...
But whenever they say it … I never forget to remember you (Arij Emaan)
We are defined in so, so many ways.
Sometimes we like it … but sometimes … we just dislike it. I go into my past … look at all those definitions … and ask myself … what do i prefer?!
Maybe … being called … philosopher.
But today … i just hide that side of mine.
I am paying huge attention as people not to find out … my real occupation.
I love it … but i simple don’t want to know about this side of mine.
It’s easier to connect with people that don’t know me … talking on and on … about … my perceptions. Philosopher is something i used to be …. long time ago …. until i started my life as an adult.
A moment when i had to become … similar with the others.
And i had to forgot that i liked to be a philosopher.
Time was passing … and i ignored about this real definition
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
64
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
…. of myself.
But it happens … even if i avoid to have philosophical discussions … as someone to say … “You are a philosopher…” I smile … then i deny it.
I like that definition … but … yes … i deny it.
I want to look like an … ordinary person … ignoring my thoughts and all those weird perceptions …
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
65
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
I do not forget ...
I do not forget anything ....
I remember each and every thing
But I'm engage in some other practices ....
(Arij Emaan)
I ask myself if we still remember the things that we really need to do for this lifetime.
If … somehow … being dominated by all the daily problems … we actually forget the essential. I listen to Arij … and i smile.
I know that her words are related with … a love story. This was “the essential of my life” also … long … long time ago.
But … not anymore.
Today … maybe being disappointed by my past experiences … i decided to be focus on other things.
Totally different things. I simple ignore the past.
I did not forgot it …. but i just ignore it.
Same as Arij … i remember each and every thing … but i decided to focus in totally different directions.
She did … the same … but she’s more connected to the past. In her soul … i feel her … still in love.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
66
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
But …. I ignore all my feelings from the past.
Maybe … i just don’t care anymore about my feelings from such a long time ago … even if at that time … i adored those feelings which made me feel … alive.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
67
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
I fail …
Whenever I tried to do something....
I failed ....
Yes I always ....
In fact I'm most flopped personality of my life...
I spread dirt every where ....
I have found a lot of nonsenses around me...
I'm most hatred person of my life....
Whenever I met with myself
It always was not good to meet
(Arij Emaan)
I always run away by myself.
And for a long time … i could not understand why. But I will probably admit one day … that i dislike the connection i have with my soul.
And the fact that … I unconsciously decided to keep running … and running away … by myself.
It probably sounds depressive … all what me and Arij are writing … but it’s all a definition of what really happens with us.
We define … a connection that should be amazing … but it’s really not.
And all the words used … are not positive words.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
68
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
None one of it.
It sounds as a nonsense … but all the experiences are telling the same story.
On and on and on …
Or maybe … i start to wonder if it’s not that we dislike the connection with the inner self … but … we are afraid of it. Staying disconnected …. makes us fail … in everything … but still … we don’t realize it.
And continue … not being ready for the connection … Running away … by our own self.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
69
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
I'm tired …
I'm tired of doing wrong ....
I'm tired of my Indiscipline
nature .....
I'm tired of my irregularity .....
(Arij Emaan)
I always felt … that i’m different.
And i liked it … for a long, long time.
But now … same as my dear friend … i simple had enough of this style that i practice.
Maybe i changed my perceptions.
and maybe i’m also tired of all those perceptions. Yes … i’m tired.
Tired of how i act on the scene of life.
I’m acting as a weird introvert … that succeeds from time to time … to be also extrovert.
I could be defined as a person that suffers of irregularity. My soul is dominated by contradictions … and it all comes from my perceptions regarding life.
Unfortunately … i believed it was all a confusion. I mixed too much the concepts.
I fucked them … all.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
70
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
I confused my life with the life itself.
I thought that this balance of contradictory thoughts … it’s normal.
Until one day … when … i felt more and more tired.
I had to stop … doing what i was doing.
Maybe stop thinking that this weird balance of perceptions … was something good.
And also that being different … or weird … it’s also a positive idea.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
71
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Lose …
Lose ,lose and always lose ....
lose in every aspects ...
Where here I'm regular ?
Why here I'm disciplined??
(Arij Emaan)
I am usually not disciplined.
And actually totally dislike doing that … but when it comes about “losing” … i am kind of a … champion. I continue doing that … on and on and on.
But why do i live such a scenario?!
Why i don’t even mind that?!
Well … maybe it’s just a perception … cause in fact i am not losing anything at all …
I am just having some experiences … connecting and disconnecting from them.
Not even bothering that i am “losing” … those so called “chances” ….
My only joy comes from …. exploring …
I have this weird perception …. that is redefining this concept
of “losing” …
Cause i don’t even care …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
72
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
And every time i am actually chasing for new and new experiences.
Might look stupid … but … i love it.
And discipline … makes sense ….
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
73
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Upset …
I'm highly upset today....
So no need to show positive vibes (Arij Emaan)
I looked at her.
She looked sad.
She appeared again … on the stage of my life … but i could not see anymore that beautiful vibe from the past.
Maybe her perceptions about life … were different today. Or maybe she forgot …. why she had that amazing vibe … when we met last time.
She was the same person … but totally different.
Maybe because she was … upset.
Not even bothered anymore to show beautiful vibes … so … I look again into her eyes.
I wonder if maybe my perceptions over her … were changed
or she is really different. She has the same beauty.
…. that beauty of an amazing lady … but i ask myself … what about her soul?!
Did this upset … that looks more as a non ending story … affects her so, so much?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
74
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Am i looking at the same lady?!
Hmm ….
She looked totally disconnected … of those vibes of love … from her past.
Closing my eyes … seeing her smile from those times … i suddenly realize how powerful love is … cause the absence of that smile …. from the present moment … simple changes … everything at her.
And i am in front of 2 different perceptions regarding this beautiful lady … which i know by such a long, long … time. I still like her … but where the hell is her smile ….
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
75
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
Weaknesses …
I have ability to express my weaknesses ....
So that people start telling stories on me...
about my failure (Arij Emaan)
I wrote so, so many illusory things over the years … but most probably all what i express is … my weakness. And people started to read my writings.
For me it was kind of a self therapy.
I was writing about what was wrong with me … but … i went deeper and deeper.
Reading my perceptions people started to realize that understanding my case … with all my weaknesses … being honest enough with themselves … they start to look like in a mirror.
They saw themselves deeper … I wrote for them … their stories.
They read … pretending they believed it’s about me … but
actually were analyzing all the details … feeling that i am
whispering something that they needed to know by a long,
long time.
But … still …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
76
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
They liked to talk about me … behind my back … defining my case … pretending it’s all about me … refusing to say … it’s all about them.
(Adrian Gabriel Dumitru)
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru / Arij Emaan
77
PERCEPTIONS
… philosophical essays about the illusion of the self
They …
They ll just enjoy it....
They ll never try to solve it...
They ll never try to feel it...
Understand it
(Arij Emaan)
I saw them gossiping again.
They were all my friends.
the one that gossip … but also Tom and Andra … that used to be such an amazing couple.
But today … even if i had such a beautiful perception on them
as a couple …i see that the great love story … is gone. One of them … could write an amazing love book … but what use?!
i’m so sorry realizing that their story went to an end … cause i had moments when i believed that they are the expression of the eternal love.
