The list could be actually infinite, but i think we should call it the non sense list.
The funny thing is that in a relationship there are 2 lists: his list and her list ...
and they don’t even find the wisdom of creating only one list ... a common list.
You see ... being in a love story ... is like dancing.
When you dance, you actually synchronize one with another ... and you don’t negotiate anything at all.
You enjoy going to the left or to the right, without asking why you do it ... and you love keeping into your arms the love of your life. There is a pleasure of acting togheter.
There is no plan when you start dancing.
You just push the play button, the music starts singing ... and you see how
beautiful is to be and dance togheter.
No plan.
No to do lists ... or not to do lists.
You just improvise everything ... and you see how everything comes by itself with no need to think so much of anything.
You don’t have any expectation ... but the funny thing is that everything runs perfect.
But in the real case ... in the real life ... having a particular way of doing things, without knowing to readapt to “us” as a couple ... we complicate everything and we actually ruin the beauty of the story in a very stupid way. Negotiation is about trying to dominate.
Imagine you dance with your partner and you try to dominate ... which should be just try to force the steps if dance in a specific way.
Adrian G Dumitru
13
PHILOSOPHY OF LOVE
Defining the undefined
What sense should it make?!
I believe negotiation cannot be part of a love story ... and if it is ... will just ruin everything ... even if real love is between the 2 of you.
Love is about spontaneity and the pleasure of being with a soul mate.
We should totally forget about domination ... negotiation ... and enjoy the dance of love.
Adrian G Dumitru
14
PHILOSOPHY OF LOVE
Defining the undefined
I just wanna be happy
“I just wanna be happy ...
Not confused ...
Not hurt ...
Not stressed ...
Just happy ... just happy ...”
(Arij Emaan)
Understanding her is a difficult mission, not imposible, but ...
You have all kinds of scenarios in your mind, but you never think that all she wants, as my dear friend Arij says, is to be happy.
There is a nice legend with a man that was afraid of flying and he wanted a lot to visit Hawaii.
One day he was on the beach and God appears to him.
They start chatting and the man says:
“God i want to visit Hawaii by a long time, but i am too afraid of flying.
Can you please make a bridge starting from here so that i can go to that trip?!”
God smiles and says:
“Son, that should not make sense.
You got any idea how many people will work to build this no sense bridge? You could just eliminate your fear of flying and then you can visit Hawaii right away.
But look, not to be unhappy cause we met and i was not listening your prayer in the way you wanted, ask me something else”. The man was thinking and says:
“Well God, there should be something else i could ask you.
I’ve been married 4 times, but i think i never understood how a woman thinks, cause i always failed with all 4 wives.
Please God, make me wise enough to understand the women.”
God gets a little bit angry and says:
“So, tell me, you want the bridge and the highway to Hawaii 2 lanes or 4 lanes?!” Yes indeed it looks almost imposible for a man to totally understand a woman and when you are deeply in love with her, you will pay a huge price if you can’t understand what she wants.
Speaking with her a lot, in fact listening what she tries to whisper to you about what she feels, but keep in mind all those words and really care about all she said
Adrian G Dumitru
15
PHILOSOPHY OF LOVE
Defining the undefined
to you, might be the right path to follow.
Truth be told a man can’t really understand a woman .... he just can’t ... but
treating her with infinite love, she will see all his efforts and will stay in the love story with him.
Women know that we can’t totally see what they really want ... even if it is quite simple ... love, care, respect, passion etc etc... simple, but beautiful things that give a lot of value to the relationship.
A woman is too polite to tell a man ... how silly he is ... but also too optimistic regarding what a man can bring to a woman.
Maybe the only advice that God could give to a man ... is just stay connected all the time to the person he is in love with.
Understanding always her is indeed imposible ... but at least feeling her, knowing that you care about her soul ... is the key of staying in the story. ... just stay connected!
Adrian G Dumitru
16
PHILOSOPHY OF LOVE
Defining the undefined
In a relationship with 2 persons in the same time?!
Maybe it’s time to close both stories and be a relationship with
... yourself.
Truth be told is that many people tried having 2 relationship in the same time. I know people that are having multiple relationships and for a while they look quite happy about that, but just for a while.
Later on problems start to appear and what they liked before, now they start to dislike.
In the beginning being wanted by more persons in the same time gives a huge energy, but after a while, being needed to manage discussions, misunderstanding, demands, expectations, in fact all kind of energies ... goes to the point of losing the control on everything.
It’s quite difficult for a human being to satisfy 2 partners in the same time, in the same way ... but in a beautiful manner.
Not being satisfied as they dreamed to be, the other 2 partners start to daily complain, being unsatisfied by all it happens.
If you ever been in this position, you actually see how you jump from feeling extremely wanted to just being hated, which is really not a good position.
If you should ask yourself why you need 2 relationships in the same time, or even more you won’t find a logical explanation.
Well ... you could be in the position Bill Clinton used to be many times and there is a nice joke from ‘80s, when he was a governor in Arkansas, telling to his friends “ what should i do with all those women that are jumping into my arms?!” You see, maybe you cannot resist the temptation?!
Or maybe you can’t find everything you are looking into one of the 2 partners?!
It says that the famous Casanova had about 300 women in his life.
He was a real playboy of that times.
But i have a dear friend that had about 4-500 women.
He is not famous as Casanova, as he actually enjoy staying anonymous, but even if he is a great philosopher and especially a great theoretician he could not find an explanation for the need of dealing with so many ladies.
Maybe the whole truth is that what is needed is just stop being with more than a person in the same time and even more important, start having a real and good
Adrian G Dumitru
17
PHILOSOPHY OF LOVE
Defining the undefined
relationship with yourself.
It says that everything you see in the outside world is just a reflection of the inner world, so paying attention at you is ... the key.
Adrian G Dumitru
18
PHILOSOPHY OF LOVE
Defining the undefined
Russian roulette ... and the love stories.
Russian roulette is a lethal game of chance in which a player places a single round in a revolver, spins the cylinder, places the muzzle against their head, and pulls the trigger in hopes that the loaded chamber does not align with the primer percussion mechanism and the barrel, causing the weapon to discharge. Russian refers to the supposed country of origin, and roulette to the element of risk-taking and the spinning of the revolver's cylinder, which is reminiscent of a spinning roulette wheel.
What are the chances of dying in Russian roulette?
There is a one in three chance that you will die. This probability does not change with any number of spins. There is a 66.7% chance (4/6) that you will live. If the cylinder is not spun, the key to calculating the odds is the clue that the rounds are located in adjacent chambers.
But what this has to do with love stories?
Well ... you see there are all kinds of situations in a love story when you need to risk a lot as a story to be in the way you wanted to be.
You could for example be forced to leave your family, friends and even country and move in a place very far away ... just to marry with the love of your life ... or divorce, leave your children, your spouse, family friends ... just everything ...
because you are in love with another person and you want a totally new life. Doing it is extremely risky and looks a lot with the russian roulette ... cause you could actually destroy your life forever.
But if you truly love that person, the risk itself will mean just nothing.
You will not care about the probability of loosing everything ... but about the probability of gaining everything ... and be happy with the one that you believe ... will be the love of your life.
Playing russian roulette in a love story ... means you care that you met the love of your life and you will not bother about anything that could stop you.
Dare to risk ... life is beautiful ... and love is a fantastic feeling that your soul just adore.
Adrian G Dumitru
19
PHILOSOPHY OF LOVE
Defining the undefined
She is not a chapter
She is the whole story
Life has so many chapters, especially when you are a very active person.
And we want lots of things ... and the funny thing is that some of them are really happening.
We usually want everything the others have ... copying a life style that is not even our style.
At the end of those efforts we expect in a silly way to be happy, but guess what?! ... nothing really improve in the way you feel your soul. And you know why?!
Cause you did not had the courage to offer something beautiful to your soul.
Something you really want ... and comes from inside of you.
A love story for example ... is something the soul is really impressed about.
But guess what?!... a love story has nothing to do with plans, with organizing ...
with anything you’ve been taught about life.
A real love story is about teaching you what love and happiness is about.
You see ... you learn lots of things ... but nothing about those subjects.
And one day .. you just meet her.
You think is a chapter of your life .. but another chapter of being again togheter comes ... and a new one ... and a new one.
You then realise she is not a chapter ... she is the whole story ... a non ending story.
But you like it ... and this is the moment when you see that all your life had been chasing after all kinds of dreams that where not yours ... and never thought she is the missing piece from the puzzle.
Just DARE to enjoy the love story with her.
Adrian G Dumitru
20
PHILOSOPHY OF LOVE
Defining the undefined
Let’s give it one more try
“Open the window,
let the breeze of my love flow,
You deserve a love,
that is a safe for your soul
You’ll never know til try,
It’s ok, please don’t cry,
Come on, let’s give it
One more try
Open the window,
Let the breeze of my love flow
Other wise you’ll not know
How much I love you so”
P.S
The life itself influences a lot the way we think and act on the stage of our own lives.
All the events from our past, especially the most important ones, made us believe we should think but also be in a certain way.
But is always the past just as the present moment?!
We need to interconnect them all the time?!
What if the past was just a life lesson and this is why it was so hard ... and today we are at the moment when we should just enjoy the beauty of life?! But why it exists in this world good and also evil?!
Why we need to have hard times?!
Is it really necessary? !
Well ... it says that to see the beautiful side of life, you need to also see the dark side ... to compare them and to better understand the difference.
But what we don’t understand is that the past means an experience, maybe a lesson, but is not necessary as in the present moment to happen the same things happened before.
Life itself have many chapters ... ugly ones, but also beautiful ones.
And maybe today, even if the past meant lots of disappointments ... maybe a
beautiful chapter started for you.
As the poem says:
“You deserve a love,
Adrian G Dumitru
21
PHILOSOPHY OF LOVE
Defining the undefined
that is a safe for your soul”
... but you need to try ... to believe in your luck ... that you also deserve a great love story in your life.
Willing to just try one more time ... is the key.
And even if you failed with that person, but if you feel that he / she is the one
destined to you ... you should ...
“Come on, let’s give it
One more try”
Forget about vanity, selfishness and all the mistakes the 2 of you had made ...
just believe in you as a couple ... as soulmates.
Real love can be seen only when real connection exists between the partners. If you feel this is your case ... when he / she asks for another chance ... even if you made 3987 mistakes that ruined a little bit the beauty of the story ... just open your heart again ... and embrace with love that magic soul from your life.
Adrian G Dumitru
22
PHILOSOPHY OF LOVE
Defining the undefined
Young, extremely beautiful ... but still she was feeling that she was ... complete
There is a beautiful legend from Pakistan about a young, beautiful girl ... who was fallen in love with the wrong person.
She was only 21 at that time and everybody was admiring her for her beauty. The man she was loving so much ... liked her also, maybe even loved her a little bit ... but he was always saying that will not marry her ... because she is poor and he just wants a rich wife.
She could not believe that is in love with such a greedy person ... but she could not convince her soul in no way that he is not the one chosen for her.
She was suffering a lot seeing him thinking as that ... and there was nothing she could do to change his thoughts.
She was young and extremely beautiful ... but she was feeling incomplete.
But one day she met a wise man ... tell her story about the disappointment of her life ... and ask for an advice.
The wise man smiled and said ... “ you see my dear ... today you are poor, but something can happen tomorrow and you can become very rich.
Or ... today you can be rich and the next day something can happen and you can become poor.
