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SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
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Sometimes it’s almost
impossible to fix the broken things.
It happens i know a lady with tremendous powers of seeing the future … of anyone.
When my life is fucked up … i speak with her all the time … but the funny thing is that she tells me things that i already know.
I even consider it … a little bit ridiculous… but in the end i could probably define all that as a … confirmation.
Being a close friend … and having a very open relationship ….
being able to talk about all the things from this universe …
she has moments when she takes the liberty of defining me
as …. stupid, idiot etc etc.
But i .. simple smile.
I know that each time she is saying that… she expect me to pay attention to her words …. but later on … while meditating
I keep asking myself … why the hell if my intuition already knows the future … why i expect as Clara to confirm me everything?!
Why i can’t trust my inner self?!
Why i delay everything … till the moment when everything is fucked up?!
Yesterday for example … she told me .. regarding an important matter that … it’s simple too late to fix anything. And it’s funny … cause i knew it also.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS motivational essays
Indeed … sometimes it’s almost impossible to fix the broken things … but again i ignored her.
I still have kind of a weird optimism.
Yes … i still believe in magic.
I am so … naive … but should i not do that?!
But i still ask her … what she believes.
I still care about her opinion … not agreeing with the fact that she is always right.
Analyzing myself on and on and on … i realize that i ignore all the time my intuition even if knowing that the intuition is actually the gateway to the Universe.
I know what i must do …. but i ignore it.
I know all the paths i should follow … but … i am so, so contradictory in all my actions. The final result?!
Hmm … a life fulfilled with lots of chaotic moments … a reality that has nothing to do with my own dreams … and … Maybe Clara is right defining me as an idiot … cause i always take the decision of following my own intuition … just in the moment when it’s all … too late. And i do that on and on and on …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
motivational essays
I have so, so many masks. And i like some … but also dislike many of them.
Every time my wife reads one of my new published books … she is losing her minds.
Even suggests me that it’s time to divorce … defining me as a jerk … with 1000 faces.
Maybe till i get to 100 books … she will realize … but also believe me that all what i am doing is to find out what is this Universe where we live in … by simple analyzing, defining and understanding myself.
The concept of self therapy looks useless … and also a nonsense.
… for many people from my life.
But i disconnected from them … no matter who they were on the stage of my life.
And starting to define myself … indeed i realized that my wife was right … cause i had 1000 faces.
I prefer the term … mask … even if it is the same thing… but
…
I continue defining myself.
I allow myself to be … whatever version comes to surface.
I like some of those masks … but also dislike many of them.
I try to stop … judging myself.
And accept … whoever i am.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
motivational essays
Accept all those … masks … as part of my being.
So … i just continue exploring.
Have this non ending journey … which became kind of a hobby.
a therapy …. not mainly to heal me … but to allow to become the best version of myself.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
motivational essays
For understanding ourselves, but also realize why our lives look the way look now
we should go deeper and deeper …. and find the root of our dark side
I was wondering many times in my life … why the hell reality does not look how i want to look like?!
But even worst … why my reality is looking from time to time
as a … horror movie?!
What do i do wrong?!
Why don’t i change anything?!
What is the missing piece of puzzle?!
The whole scenario of my life is looking karmic by such a long time … but nothing is improving. The tests are stronger … and stronger.
I still meditate … asking myself questions … but not accepting the fact that … life itself it’s just … an echo … and all those events from my present moment … are just the reply of my actions from my past.
But what it’s funny is that i could not even remember ….
what i’ve done wrong into my past … so that my present moment should look from time to time … as hell.
Feeling like a victim … was such a lose of energy, but took me years to understand it.
But the real nonsense was that … even if my intuition was whispering me that it’s time to stop lying to myself on and on
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS motivational essays
and on … i was not prepared yet to have a life that follows the real values of positivity.
I was living with the illusion that i can trick the Universe … but the reply was coming back to me … on and on and on.
I had to become wiser …. and redefine this status of victim of
life …
It was the time to make a … shift … but was i ready for it?!
Could i stop lying myself?!
Could i accept my dark side?
Well … the real truth was that i did not even wanted to accept the fact that i have a dark side.
In short moments of awakening … i started to even laugh … of my nonsense … and all those stupid actions of mine.
I was ridiculous… believing that i can fool the Universe … and i was doing that on and on and on.
was living in a weird karmic circle … but i was not doing anything to stop this stupid game.
I kept lying to myself … really believing that i was a good person.
But all the ugly karmic experiences … made me realize in the end …. the lie.
The dark side ….was part of life … and also of my own life. It was a total nonsense … not to accept that.
And once i realized … i have a dark side … going deeper and deeper … trying to understand it … i saw the fear … the one of acting in the proper way on the scene of life.
I’ve been so idiot … not following the real values … but … Well … today i came to a point when i understand that i need to stop acting the way i was acting.
Maybe stop being afraid … of anything.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
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Care only about … values … and all the laws of the Universe. But guess what?!
I was just understanding that in theory.
On the stage of the real life … i was acting again and again … as an idiot.
The fear dominated my being.
It was maybe the fear of embracing myself … with all my sides … and realize that no matter who i was today … i could make a shift … and be a better person.
Look at my dark side … realize that its presence its related with fear … but also with the illusion of the self … accept it as part of myself … but disconnect from it … and let my positive side to dominate … my daily life. Or at least … try this new scenario.
And do all my best to follow it.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
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Life can be beautiful … but we must understand its principles and always stay connected to beautiful vibes
Today i believe … even it i am more a spiritual being, than religious … that we need to have as guidance in life … strong values … or at least to care about that.
Accepting the duality … as part of life it’s probably also something very, very important.
But what are the values we should care about?!
Well … difficult to say.
I write a lot … but most probably it’s all just about my perceptions … even if i have moments when i feel myself connected with the Infinite … and i feel harmony and positivity as part of my life.
All i know for sure is that … life it’s beautiful.
but i probably need to respect some rules to connect at those vibes.
And still … even if i meditate a lot … i can’t accept the fact that it’s all about …. my values of life.
I have to simple … change them.
My values should be more related to the positive principles of life … and try to be as much as i can …. a being connected to the beautiful vibes of this world where we live in.
But … theory it’s so damn simple.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
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On the scene of the real life … i act so, so … silly.
On and on and on.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
motivational essays
They will define you in one million ways … but you’ll see them so incapable of seeing your beautiful side.
I smile when someone defines me.
Either if it is into a positive or negative way.
But i just smile … in front of all those details … that are defining the shapes of … my soul.
Unfortunately … many of the people around me see …. my
dark side.
Maybe one of 50 persons … defines me in a nice way … but i keep smiling.
I would even want to ask all those people … “Don’t you see anything beautiful?!
Is this soul of mine … so damn dark as you think?!” Not so long time ago … i could not accept all those perceptions … but today … smiling in front of all those illusory ideas … it helps me ignore everything.
I feel disconnected about everyone that defines me … in such a weird way.
And i am not saying they are right or wrong .. saying all those things … but i already know that the one from yesterday … it’s not anymore the me from today.
I also have lots of perceptions about myself … defining my negative side all the time …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS motivational essays
But why the hell should i bother to listen … those perception?!
Why the hell if we live in a world of duality … why we don’t hear both sides of the story?!
Why don’t we keep the right balance between positivity and negativity?!
Why … when someone defines a person or a circumstance ….
why do we talk all the time of the negative side?!
Should we ignore this stupid habit … that so, so many have?! Well … maybe we should just disconnect from any perception
including our own illusory ideas about our inner selves. Analyzing … i find it ok.
Defining also … ok.
But … why should we amplify so much the negative part of the story?!
Can this help?!
Should we bother to listen that on and on and on?!
What if …. instead of letting them judging you … you simple wake up with the hope and believe that today … you’ll try to be a better being.
Maybe … a little bit better than you’ve been yesterday. And ignore any perception about you.
Anyway … 99% of them … will remain incapable of seeing your … positive side.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
motivational essays
I have a piano, but i am not using it. I have a soul … but what the
hell should i do with it?!
I have at home a piano … but we never use it.
It’s more … something used for decorating the house. Today i find its presence in my home … a total nonsense … but meditating more …. I somehow realized that there are
so, so many things that i own, but … don’t really use them. And probably the worst of all is that i have a soul … but i am not bothering to connect with it.
I know about it … by a long, long time … but …
Well … my soul has the same importance as the piano from my living room.
But why the hell i was doing that?!
Why was i … so ignorant?!
Why i could not see the importance of connecting to my soul … and ….
I was so damn … silly.
Meditating … i realized all those mistakes i was doing by such a long time.
I was ignoring so many things that i owned … which were so damn important …
Maybe even the piano was important … cause its music could make me feel great vibes … and maybe the soul was important also …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS motivational essays
But i continued …. ignoring that.
On and on and on …
I was indeed … ignorant … and maybe idiot.
Maybe it’s great cause i am conscious of that … but silly cause i am not aware of the loss …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS
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Everything is just …. perfect.
But i simple don’t like it anymore … even if my perceptions were so different not so long time ago.
Maria is from … Paris.
She is my friend by more than 20 years.
We’ve met few times in the past, while working on some important projects … but last few years we’ve connected only on chat.
Recently … she wrote me again.
I knew her well … and knew she is not happy anymore …. by
a long, long time.
But you see … even if in the past Maria was laughing of my theories about self therapy … today she wanted me to teach her about how to connect to her inner self …. and become her own therapist that could heal her unhappy soul.
But what is funny is that the same Maria was explaining me few years ago that her husband is a great guy … that she is in love with him … and he really is …. her soulmate. Today … she’s telling me a totally different story.
Her husband was still a great guy, that was loving her a lot … just that she was not happy anymore in his arms.
So … what Maria was telling me was that …. everything was
perfect, but she did not liked that story anymore.
And i really felt her … as being unhappy.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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SELF THERAPY … A WAY OF HEALING OUR SOULS motivational essays
Maria was difficult to be understood.
She was living kind of a perfect case scenario … but she felt
so unhappy in her marriage.
What could i tell her?!
How could i advice her?!
How could i define self therapy to her … so that she understand the real path that she should follow?!
I could not find the proper words … but … i felt that all she wanted to say was that she changed … and needs a new type of energy.
Her perceptions about happiness … started to be different today.
And she probably chased for an energy … different by the one of her husband.
His love … became irrelevant.
He was … part of her past …. and maybe of the present … but
