had nothing to do with the future.
I almost start laughing … realizing how irrelevant … even a perfect case scenario can become.
Or maybe we are bored of … perfection.
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We should live our lives with … no objectives …but if we should really have one … that should be to … enjoy the journey in here.
Over the years i’ve read a lot about success … and the way we should obtain that.
It was my main objective in life.
But what it’s really funny … analyzing this journey … is that i did not had too many moments of enjoying this style of living.
Today all i remember is … the long list of sacrifices that i had to do.
I can’t even say the reasons behind the decision of being on
that path … but maybe it was all related with my desire … of
being … a rich person.
And i smile again.
Suddenly i even see myself … laughing.
Analyzing and defining this long, long journey … after reading and connecting with so many books of personal growth … i realized that it was all a …. trap.
I did not understood that i had to keep the right balance in life … between chasing for my desires and … enjoying the life itself.
I had so, so many objectives …. and i still have.
Instead of living … i focused only and only on getting rich …
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and not even lost a second … at least to meditate on what means this weird concept of … connecting and enjoying the moment.
If i would be honest enough … to tell my opinion about the future … i would say that i’ll end this life as a successful ….
rich person … that lost the opportunity to enjoy … all this time spent here.
But all what i am saying … has theoretical values.
The truth itself it’s … that i don’t know to apply theory into practice.
And life continues … as a nonsense.
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The prison was
… my own creation
Today i remembered a quote from the movie “Samadhi” … which said that …. “The prison is … you”.
Spending a lots of time … analyzing and defining my own life … i realized in own point that it’s even worst than that … cause this prison with invisible walls was my own creation. I’ve chased for some things that … in the end i’ve become the prisoner of those strong desires.
I did not know at that time that the most important thing in life is to keep the right balance in all was related with my being.
And using my focus just to accomplish my desire of becoming rich, have a successful company, being a successful person … the concept itself of success … defined the borders of a prison …. where i spent so, so many years in a row.
This weird focus made me …ignore … all related with the energy my soul needed to … simple … survive. Days were passing.
Then weeks …
Then …. months.
Then … years … lots, lots of years.
This life made me metamorphose into … a robot …. that knew
to focus just on success and money … but nothing more than
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that.
But even realizing that i am a prisoner … was useless.
Nothing changed.
I was losing all the opportunities of … enjoying anything related with the life itself.
And … i was pretending i was not seeing that.
Staying in this weird undefined prison …. which i worked so,
so much … to build it … i became one with … it.
Paul was right saying in his movie … Samadhi … that the ….
“prison is you.”
But life continued.
And i was feeling like a … zombie.
I was alive …. but i was not alive.
… cause i could not feel my soul … anymore.
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Truth be told … we have an
amazing talent of spoiling opportunities.
Even if we know that sometimes
… it’s the last one.
Many people ask me … what is … the self therapy?!
And even if i don’t define them the concept in a very good way … i make them realize that they practice self therapy by a very, very long time.
Maybe the only difference between them and myself is that … i pay a lots of attention on …. not lying to myself on and on and on.
I did that too.
For many years in a row.
The shift came into my life … the moment when i actually realized that even if the Universe was so generous with me … i spoil all the opportunities i had.
And that happened even when i knew that it was the last chance.
I actually had enough of seeing this way of acting on the stage of my life.
Starting to improve something …. meditating a lot … till the
moment when i transformed myself into a … thinking machine … stoped lying to myself … i understood … how silly i was.
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Today i find in myself … the power to define what i don’t like
and feel … what it’s not good. I am not hiding … anymore.
I realized self therapy it’s about … being honest in front of myself … while trying to improve … my life.
I analyze the life of others also …. and 1000 pages for a book about self therapy will not be enough.
The only real message that i need to send to the public … as an ordinary person is to start having a honest life …. on the stage of their own life … but also in front of themselves.
And we should stop judging ourselves. See all … as part of the evolution of life.
Try to connect better to the present moment and ask …. why do we have all those opportunities … but also why do we spoil them?!
What are we afraid of?!
Maybe the only real fear is to … live.
And i strongly believe that speaking with our inner self, practicing this process of the so called self therapy … life becomes … at least … better …
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Yes …. indeed … it’s all a perception
This book is not a book about psychology or psychotherapy
but only a collection of thoughts …. that represent my perceptions … about life … or maybe of my own life.
The psychological trends of it … are just a reflection of the fact that i continuously try to heal myself and become a better self.
Trying to be honest with myself, analyzing and defining everything is going on with me … i came to a point when i realized that i’ve become my own therapist.
I was the patient … but also the patient. But i liked it … and it really worked.
My live improved … being somehow redefined by the fact that i had deep inside … this strong desire of becoming … a better soul.
I am not living the perfect case scenario from my dreams … but i also stopped dreaming.
I started to act a little bit more … for real … on the scene of life.
I analyze more my actions … my reactions and all what is going on …. living with the hope of a better tomorrow. And i do believe that even if i am or not on the right path that i should follow …. all being in fact just a perception …. the fact that i started this process of connecting with my inner self … which i realized is the gateway to the Infinite … becomes … in the end … an amazing fact.
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