THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
THE DESIRE OF MORE
IS A FEAR
philosophical essays
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
1
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
ADRIAN GABRIEL DUMITRU
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
… philosophical essays
Year: 2023
Author: Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
2
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
Don't count anymore!
Life has nothing to do with … the math.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
3
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
I’ve started to write about the desire of more …. realizing it’s
a contagious disease … that society told me about … on and on and on … but defining it to me …. into an illusory way … as a great philosophy of life.
I only had in mind … to present a new perception … about something which looks like a virtue … but it’s just a fear … and nothing more.
a very stupid one.
which unfortunately dominates … many people from our times.
including myself.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
4
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
The illusion of more … a
disease that i could never get rid of
In my book “Analyze, define, redefine” … i tried to come with this concept of understanding ourselves … who we are, what we want, why we act in the way we act on the stage of life etc etc
It’s actually a way … of starting a … self therapy.
And my personal belief is that … it’s a trick that really works. Today, looking back into my past, after meditating a lot about my life … i realize the method is just … great.
The only difficult part was to understand … i should be very honest with myself.
Looking into my soul … just like i was looking into a spiritual mirror … analyzing and defining myself … i started to see lots of things i like … but also things that i … totally dislike.
Little by little … i began to understand my soul … and realized i am obsessed of the desire of more.
All what i was doing … somehow believing that i don’t have enough time … was to follow the path of more and more … and more.
It was more a disease than a … habit, but it was … me … and looked like i could not get rid of acting like that.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
5
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
I started to understand myself.
Then … i started to accept myself … to embrace all related with my being, realizing i am on a the timeline … of a specific lesson of life.
But what more … meant?!
What was it … its meaning?!
Why did i chased so much for more and more and more … in all what i was doing?!
I was acting like a champion that had to prove all the time …
something …
Something .. what?!
I could not understand … the meaning.
But one day … the message came to me.
I was just trying to fulfill that … empty space … from my soul
but most probably my soul was kind of a back whole, cause no matter how “more” it was … it was all useless.
I simple had to stop to fulfill that empty tank used for illusory emotions … by such a long, long time.
I analyzed a lot.
I defined everything from one million … perspectives. But … i could not redefine … my life.
And it was so damn … simple.
Most probably i simple had to ignore this disease of more … and also that black whole from my soul … but … i did not knew … how.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
6
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
Is the need of parallel lives … actually a desire of more?!
I have this philosophical question by a long time into my mind.
But also realize that this is actually … a clear reflection of the fact that we are unsatisfied of the curent reality. And we want something else.
And something else … becomes that … and that … and that. Unfortunately many times … all those inner desires are in total contradiction with the curent reality …
Little by little …. we see things very clear and we know all we
need to do … but …
Hmmm … we end up … tasting all those things we believe are the attributes of a perfect universe … just from time to time. We understand … we don’t need to mix realities.
And somehow … without any instructions from anyone … we start to live in totally different worlds.
Some … use this art as an instrument that helps us enter into
a better parallel universe.
Some … use sex …
Some … use alcohol …
Many also … use …. drugs.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
7
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
But whatever we use … we realize that … we simple chase for a better reality … and not having it … we discover a lair … which in fact have the role of the universe … of fantasies. That lair … becomes that … perfect universe. And … guess what?!
Without realizing … we simple disconnect from the present reality.
We want more and more to live … in those parallel worlds … but that’s a fact which affects us … a lot.
Refusing reality … we actually become into an unconscious mode … enemies of … our real lives.
And we metamorphose us into … refugees in parallel realities.
Start to have a clear addiction for those things which help us stay disconnected from the real life.
No matter if it is about books, arts, sex, traveling, alcohol, drugs …. or whatever we believe that helps us stay
disconnected from this universe we dislike so much … we start to feel that we want to increase the dose .. more and more.
We need more books … more sex … more drugs … more … More of everything … that release us … at least for a while … from the prison of an unwanted world.
It all becomes .. a story about addictions … but it’s so, so ridiculous that we believe it is about books, sex, drugs etc … and don’t realize we simple need a change … and to build … a new life …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
8
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
Money … good sex … and a little bit of connection … it’s the perfect formula … for an amazing
relationship
Today i’ve met Carla again.
We’ve decided to meet on an unknown street … and stayed in the car … for almost 2 hours.
she was a little bit depressive… and as usual i’ve suggested her ironically that i can heal that weird feelings … with a little bit of sex.
We’ve both started …. to laugh.
You see … me and Carla are just … good friends … and nothing more.
Talking …. understanding each other … we actually understand better the feminine and masculine soul. Today … my dear Carla was so, so mad … because of the jealousy of her husband.
He has an obsession that she will cheat … or even run away with another man.
… and it all became … very bad lately.
Everyday … she was listening to his paranoia scenarios …. and … she simple had enough.
Few days ago … i advised her to start lying to him.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
9
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
To actually tell him … that he’s an amazing husband … that she adores him … that everything is perfect related to him … but nothing worked.
In fact … i was telling her to apply the theories of affirmations … but into a different form.
To make him regain the belief that he is a good husband ….
and …
Unfortunately…. everything she tried … failed.
Her husband could not believe … anything.
But then we suddenly remembered that me and Carla were talking all the time … just about real case scenarios of life. … which in reality … could not be applied so easy.
I smiled to my friend … telling her … “Imagine the sex with your husband would be better and better.
Imagine he would give you an unlimited card with money … and you could spend those money whenever you want … on whatever you want.
Imagine you would also have … a great connection.
Everything … much better as it is today.
Long sex session.
Unlimited amounts of money for shoping.
A connection that is defined by the pleasure of being together.
A little bit of more of everything i’ve said.
Or maybe … more and more of these.”
Carla … did not knew what to say …
“But Gabriel! Why do we need more and more?! Why do we hide this stupid fear called … jealousy?!
Why can’t we just continue life … without paranoia?!” “Carla …. you know how much i like you.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
10
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
If i’d be your husband i’d do my best to have better sex with you … so that you’ll be satisfied … offer you more and more money so that you can accomplish all your desires at shopping… and maybe just explore better the connection we have together.”
“But … thanks God … you are not my husband. Hahahaha” We both started to laugh.
My relationship with Carla helped me a lot into my writings. I’ve started to understand better and better the life itself … and how it should be a good relationship between a man and a woman.
You see … Carla is beautiful.
In fact … she is amazing.
All the men likes her … and i can’t blame her husband for losing his mind so, so often … and be so jealous. Probably my theory … could be a good antidote for her. Carla … loved sex and the money.
But nobody was there to whisper to him … this new silly theory … i came with.
And they continued … ruining themselves emotionally … not really understanding that they start to analyze and define their fears.
his profound jealousy.
but also her desire of better and better sex … and the need of that unlimited card for her shoppings.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
11
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
Karmic money are so, so … annoying.
But still … we can’t see the message … even if it
is so, so clear.
It was monday morning.
I wake up … unfortunately a little bit late.
I take my phone to look and find out what time is it … and I
suddenly see that a notification from the bank saying that
i’ve got again … 30k dollars.
And i said … “Fuck it! Not again!”
You see … over the years i’ve been obsessed about money ….
and having more and more and more.
I’ve been dominated by this desire.
Everything i was doing was related with this desire of having … lots of money.
Everything else … related with the life itself … was not in my area of interest.
Time was passing and i was not making any kind of change with myself.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
12
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
I continued being … an idiot.
The same obsession i had for 30 years … was still dominating my soul.
But you see …. and i knew it very, very well … in one point
seeing that we can’t really see the real truth about life … the Universe starts to laugh of us behind our back. And actually this is what was happing to me also.
For years i was not carrying at all about the ways i was getting the money … ignoring the fact that money are in fact
energy …. and it’s actually an energy that in the end will have a positive … but also a negative impact on myself. And all the money i’ve got from … immoral or illicit businesses … came against myself.
It was horrible … even if no one would believe it.
All the things i’ve built … or i’ve bought with the karmic money … started to have an ugly impact on my daily life. All became … a nightmare.
I was waking up … asking myself … what the hell is going to happen today.
I was afraid … of any new day.
And all of that … cause i was not really understanding the concept of … karmic money and the fact that … i can’t enjoy anything which comes from the connection with those money.
Seeing huge amounts of money … coming again and again to me … became even annoying.
But it was ok … cause this time … i knew it was … just useless.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
13
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
When this story of more and
more and more is finished …. we
suddenly realize we did not needed it.
But something inside us still asks
“Please let’s do it one more time … and then we accept the
finish just as it is.” Maybe that is the voice of the …. Daemon.
Being involved into a real estate opportunity … for more than one year …. having huge profits … i somehow realized …. that
whatever i would do …. i end up manifesting my unconscious
desire of more.
The only thing i am happy about myself today is that …. for a
long time i’ve considered my desire of more ….a virtue … but
today i just see it as a … disease.
A huge problem which i need to heal.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
14
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
With my real life … with the real estate business … i came to a point where i’ve started to make huge profits.
Well … the whole story was so good … that i could not even dream of that.
It was all because of some circumstances… but still …. was
great to make such profits.
What is funny is that before this opportunity … i had very low profits … and my tenants had huge expectations on me … demanding all the time something.
Now … my tenants were nicer … and i could even say that they were feeling in vacation at me.
Meanwhile … i was continuing making … huge profits.
My desire of more and more … was fed everyday.
But as any story …. which has a beginning, the story itself
and the end …. this great chapter came to an end one day.
I was not the only one doing that.
No … there were many real estate investors into this situation.
And it was so funny to analyze all the others … around myself.
I saw them … how they were kissing in the ass our clients … and suddenly when the story finished … they were evicting them into the streets.
Not getting anymore those huge profits … all my so called colleagues …. were all … simple evacuating our vip clients.
It was unbelievable … to see the change of attitude. The change of masks … the one of an angel … that was treating so nice the clients … with the one of a devil … treating people as … animals.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
15
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
I was smiling … realizing that we simple can’t be humans.
All we are focused on was the desire of more.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
16
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
It’s so weird to realize that the desire of more … is in us from the early beginning of life
... philosophical essays
THE DESIRE OF MORE
IS A FEAR
philosophical essays
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
1
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
ADRIAN GABRIEL DUMITRU
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
… philosophical essays
Year: 2023
Author: Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
2
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
Don't count anymore!
Life has nothing to do with … the math.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
3
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
I’ve started to write about the desire of more …. realizing it’s
a contagious disease … that society told me about … on and on and on … but defining it to me …. into an illusory way … as a great philosophy of life.
I only had in mind … to present a new perception … about something which looks like a virtue … but it’s just a fear … and nothing more.
a very stupid one.
which unfortunately dominates … many people from our times.
including myself.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
4
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
The illusion of more … a
disease that i could never get rid of
In my book “Analyze, define, redefine” … i tried to come with this concept of understanding ourselves … who we are, what we want, why we act in the way we act on the stage of life etc etc
It’s actually a way … of starting a … self therapy.
And my personal belief is that … it’s a trick that really works. Today, looking back into my past, after meditating a lot about my life … i realize the method is just … great.
The only difficult part was to understand … i should be very honest with myself.
Looking into my soul … just like i was looking into a spiritual mirror … analyzing and defining myself … i started to see lots of things i like … but also things that i … totally dislike.
Little by little … i began to understand my soul … and realized i am obsessed of the desire of more.
All what i was doing … somehow believing that i don’t have enough time … was to follow the path of more and more … and more.
It was more a disease than a … habit, but it was … me … and looked like i could not get rid of acting like that.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
5
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
I started to understand myself.
Then … i started to accept myself … to embrace all related with my being, realizing i am on a the timeline … of a specific lesson of life.
But what more … meant?!
What was it … its meaning?!
Why did i chased so much for more and more and more … in all what i was doing?!
I was acting like a champion that had to prove all the time …
something …
Something .. what?!
I could not understand … the meaning.
But one day … the message came to me.
I was just trying to fulfill that … empty space … from my soul
but most probably my soul was kind of a back whole, cause no matter how “more” it was … it was all useless.
I simple had to stop to fulfill that empty tank used for illusory emotions … by such a long, long time.
I analyzed a lot.
I defined everything from one million … perspectives. But … i could not redefine … my life.
And it was so damn … simple.
Most probably i simple had to ignore this disease of more … and also that black whole from my soul … but … i did not knew … how.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
6
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
Is the need of parallel lives … actually a desire of more?!
I have this philosophical question by a long time into my mind.
But also realize that this is actually … a clear reflection of the fact that we are unsatisfied of the curent reality. And we want something else.
And something else … becomes that … and that … and that. Unfortunately many times … all those inner desires are in total contradiction with the curent reality …
Little by little …. we see things very clear and we know all we
need to do … but …
Hmmm … we end up … tasting all those things we believe are the attributes of a perfect universe … just from time to time. We understand … we don’t need to mix realities.
And somehow … without any instructions from anyone … we start to live in totally different worlds.
Some … use this art as an instrument that helps us enter into
a better parallel universe.
Some … use sex …
Some … use alcohol …
Many also … use …. drugs.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
7
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
But whatever we use … we realize that … we simple chase for a better reality … and not having it … we discover a lair … which in fact have the role of the universe … of fantasies. That lair … becomes that … perfect universe. And … guess what?!
Without realizing … we simple disconnect from the present reality.
We want more and more to live … in those parallel worlds … but that’s a fact which affects us … a lot.
Refusing reality … we actually become into an unconscious mode … enemies of … our real lives.
And we metamorphose us into … refugees in parallel realities.
Start to have a clear addiction for those things which help us stay disconnected from the real life.
No matter if it is about books, arts, sex, traveling, alcohol, drugs …. or whatever we believe that helps us stay
disconnected from this universe we dislike so much … we start to feel that we want to increase the dose .. more and more.
We need more books … more sex … more drugs … more … More of everything … that release us … at least for a while … from the prison of an unwanted world.
It all becomes .. a story about addictions … but it’s so, so ridiculous that we believe it is about books, sex, drugs etc … and don’t realize we simple need a change … and to build … a new life …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
8
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
Money … good sex … and a little bit of connection … it’s the perfect formula … for an amazing
relationship
Today i’ve met Carla again.
We’ve decided to meet on an unknown street … and stayed in the car … for almost 2 hours.
she was a little bit depressive… and as usual i’ve suggested her ironically that i can heal that weird feelings … with a little bit of sex.
We’ve both started …. to laugh.
You see … me and Carla are just … good friends … and nothing more.
Talking …. understanding each other … we actually understand better the feminine and masculine soul. Today … my dear Carla was so, so mad … because of the jealousy of her husband.
He has an obsession that she will cheat … or even run away with another man.
… and it all became … very bad lately.
Everyday … she was listening to his paranoia scenarios …. and … she simple had enough.
Few days ago … i advised her to start lying to him.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
9
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
To actually tell him … that he’s an amazing husband … that she adores him … that everything is perfect related to him … but nothing worked.
In fact … i was telling her to apply the theories of affirmations … but into a different form.
To make him regain the belief that he is a good husband ….
and …
Unfortunately…. everything she tried … failed.
Her husband could not believe … anything.
But then we suddenly remembered that me and Carla were talking all the time … just about real case scenarios of life. … which in reality … could not be applied so easy.
I smiled to my friend … telling her … “Imagine the sex with your husband would be better and better.
Imagine he would give you an unlimited card with money … and you could spend those money whenever you want … on whatever you want.
Imagine you would also have … a great connection.
Everything … much better as it is today.
Long sex session.
Unlimited amounts of money for shoping.
A connection that is defined by the pleasure of being together.
A little bit of more of everything i’ve said.
Or maybe … more and more of these.”
Carla … did not knew what to say …
“But Gabriel! Why do we need more and more?! Why do we hide this stupid fear called … jealousy?!
Why can’t we just continue life … without paranoia?!” “Carla …. you know how much i like you.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
10
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
If i’d be your husband i’d do my best to have better sex with you … so that you’ll be satisfied … offer you more and more money so that you can accomplish all your desires at shopping… and maybe just explore better the connection we have together.”
“But … thanks God … you are not my husband. Hahahaha” We both started to laugh.
My relationship with Carla helped me a lot into my writings. I’ve started to understand better and better the life itself … and how it should be a good relationship between a man and a woman.
You see … Carla is beautiful.
In fact … she is amazing.
All the men likes her … and i can’t blame her husband for losing his mind so, so often … and be so jealous. Probably my theory … could be a good antidote for her. Carla … loved sex and the money.
But nobody was there to whisper to him … this new silly theory … i came with.
And they continued … ruining themselves emotionally … not really understanding that they start to analyze and define their fears.
his profound jealousy.
but also her desire of better and better sex … and the need of that unlimited card for her shoppings.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
11
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
Karmic money are so, so … annoying.
But still … we can’t see the message … even if it
is so, so clear.
It was monday morning.
I wake up … unfortunately a little bit late.
I take my phone to look and find out what time is it … and I
suddenly see that a notification from the bank saying that
i’ve got again … 30k dollars.
And i said … “Fuck it! Not again!”
You see … over the years i’ve been obsessed about money ….
and having more and more and more.
I’ve been dominated by this desire.
Everything i was doing was related with this desire of having … lots of money.
Everything else … related with the life itself … was not in my area of interest.
Time was passing and i was not making any kind of change with myself.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
12
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
I continued being … an idiot.
The same obsession i had for 30 years … was still dominating my soul.
But you see …. and i knew it very, very well … in one point
seeing that we can’t really see the real truth about life … the Universe starts to laugh of us behind our back. And actually this is what was happing to me also.
For years i was not carrying at all about the ways i was getting the money … ignoring the fact that money are in fact
energy …. and it’s actually an energy that in the end will have a positive … but also a negative impact on myself. And all the money i’ve got from … immoral or illicit businesses … came against myself.
It was horrible … even if no one would believe it.
All the things i’ve built … or i’ve bought with the karmic money … started to have an ugly impact on my daily life. All became … a nightmare.
I was waking up … asking myself … what the hell is going to happen today.
I was afraid … of any new day.
And all of that … cause i was not really understanding the concept of … karmic money and the fact that … i can’t enjoy anything which comes from the connection with those money.
Seeing huge amounts of money … coming again and again to me … became even annoying.
But it was ok … cause this time … i knew it was … just useless.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
13
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
When this story of more and
more and more is finished …. we
suddenly realize we did not needed it.
But something inside us still asks
“Please let’s do it one more time … and then we accept the
finish just as it is.” Maybe that is the voice of the …. Daemon.
Being involved into a real estate opportunity … for more than one year …. having huge profits … i somehow realized …. that
whatever i would do …. i end up manifesting my unconscious
desire of more.
The only thing i am happy about myself today is that …. for a
long time i’ve considered my desire of more ….a virtue … but
today i just see it as a … disease.
A huge problem which i need to heal.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
14
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
With my real life … with the real estate business … i came to a point where i’ve started to make huge profits.
Well … the whole story was so good … that i could not even dream of that.
It was all because of some circumstances… but still …. was
great to make such profits.
What is funny is that before this opportunity … i had very low profits … and my tenants had huge expectations on me … demanding all the time something.
Now … my tenants were nicer … and i could even say that they were feeling in vacation at me.
Meanwhile … i was continuing making … huge profits.
My desire of more and more … was fed everyday.
But as any story …. which has a beginning, the story itself
and the end …. this great chapter came to an end one day.
I was not the only one doing that.
No … there were many real estate investors into this situation.
And it was so funny to analyze all the others … around myself.
I saw them … how they were kissing in the ass our clients … and suddenly when the story finished … they were evicting them into the streets.
Not getting anymore those huge profits … all my so called colleagues …. were all … simple evacuating our vip clients.
It was unbelievable … to see the change of attitude. The change of masks … the one of an angel … that was treating so nice the clients … with the one of a devil … treating people as … animals.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
15
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
I was smiling … realizing that we simple can’t be humans.
All we are focused on was the desire of more.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
16
THE DESIRE OF MORE IS A FEAR
... philosophical essays
It’s so weird to realize that the desire of more … is in us from the early beginning of life
