Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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philosophical essays
Hating … kind of a hobby
I was on the streets … going to meet someone.
Suddenly i hear some people laughing very loud.
It was Monday morning and they were already at the coffee shop … 8-9 men.
I was saying into my mind that … this is kind of a motivational example of living, cause most of the people from this planet are already on the way to work … hating the start of a new week … and the fact that they need to work. But those guys from the coffee shop … were not living this ugly scenario …. cause they were so relaxed … laughing of different jokes … enjoying their coffee.
The funny thing is that when i appeared in front of the coffee shop … everyone shut up.
They jump from joy and laugh to … total silence … one that you see at the funeral.
I look at them … not understanding what happens and i see in front of the table …. a guy that was hating me a lot … by years.
I certainly destroyed their moment of joy … at least … a little bit.
I totally forgot about that guy and the fact that he was hating me so much … but i just smiled remembering his … hobby … of hating me.
But why the hell he was still hating me?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
116
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION philosophical essays
The karmic story was closed by such a long time … so?! His friends knew about the fact that he was disliking me so much …. and the silence was … the respect for him.
I wanted to stop and ask … “hating me … is kind of a hobby, or what?!”
So … illusory … but … realistic …
A real thing … from the timeline of my life.
I was judging that idiot … realizing the illusion that he was living … but one second later i remind myself that i did that so, so many times … which means i was an idiot too.
Yes … hating looks like a real hobby into our society … and we can’t get rid of it … not understanding the illusory situation behind it.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
117
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Why the hell should i bother to be indignant … when all i see is just illusory?!
One of the most important things in life is to discover what is the purpose we have in here.
And i simple ask myself … why am i here?!
What are the repetitive patterns we usually see on the scene or life?!
What is the message of all that?!
What is the message behind the message?!
The funny thing about myself is that i understand the theory
but i can analyze and define very well only if it is about the others … When it comes about myself … well … i am so damn blind.
Today … i saw Paul being indignant about the increase of price of the energy on the free market.
And i was listening and listening… smiling and then laughing. The problem itself affects me a lot also… but i decided to stop being indignant … cause it’s all so damn illusory.
Paul even asked the lady from the electric company … “if the price of energy will increase on and on and on … will my invoice be one million dollars one day?!”
And the lady said … “Yes. Theoretically… yes” So what should we do in such situations?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
118
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION philosophical essays
I personally decided to not get annoyed anymore about the increases of prices … and i found the power to laugh of my friend … but my real problem is that in the real life … i allow to the exterior world to fuck my vibe everyday. And i do this on and on and on.
I sometimes wonder myself … how could i be so stupid to
allow that to happen?!
How?!
And why?!
Why am i so, so blind?!
Well … Paul is laughing of me also … all the time …. seeing
the illusory reasons why i get annoyed.
So … it’s so easy to see and define the others … but when it comes about ourselves …
I personally found a nice trick.
All the time when i become annoyed … i just repeat myself …
“Please remember that it’s all an illusion … and you wrote so
much about this concept that actually … you should just
smile in front of it”.
But guess what?!
Yes … i continue to be blind … and the situation is not becoming better.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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No matter how life should
look like …. i believe it’s a must
to live it with … joy
I’ve been making a joke with Arij asking if she is alive … and her answer was … “unfortunately”.
Arij being 20 … even if she believes in the concept that all we see in life it’s actually an illusion … she most probably has moments when feels that what she sees on the scene of her life is … real.
And takes it …. seriously.
… like all of us.
Damn it … it’s so damn easy to see … analyze and define at the others … like i do with my dear friend Arij … smiling seeing her sad …
Maybe all i can tell her is just … to smile … and remember about our talks about … illusions.
You see … i always use the term illusion and it might sound as something with negative connotations… but … all what i am saying is actually … that we should look behind the situations itself.
A negative issue in our lives … might have a positive impact for our spiritual evolution.
And we can’t evolve … if we cannot understand the illusion … the fact that what annoys us … or what makes us so … unhappy is not what it looks like.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
120
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION philosophical essays
So … seeing Arij unhappy … maybe i should redefine my speak and don’t mention to her about it … but ask her to meditate more and understand what is the message behind the message ….
What is actually trying to whisper … the Universe?!
Why should we pay a huge attention to our unhappiness?! The illusion itself is indeed the unhappiness … all being just a perception that could be easily be redefine …
Analyzing, defining … all what we dislike or makes us unhappy … as in the end to redefine our perceptions about reality … becomes the trick for a … good life. And maybe this trick worth … to be tried.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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Wharever happens we should just smile and see everything as an experience
I analyze all the time all happens around myself.
I analyze, define and then try to redefine all what i don’t like.
And i always believe … i’ve found the absolute truth.
But … the next day … i start to have contradictory thoughts.
And i do that on and on and on.
Until when?!
Most probably … at least i hope that … one day … i’ll just have enough of this illusory situation. So?!
Well … maybe it’s time to redefine my thoughts… or simple stop thinking.
At least for a while.
Or … see everything as an experience … and ..
And?!
And?!
And?!
Hmm … just enjoy life …
Most probably should be a better scenario.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
122
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philosophical essays
It’s funny to see how a prince becomes a pauper. It’s maybe a lesson about the … illusion of life.
One of the most beautiful coffee shops from my city was closed.
It’s in an old building … and 100 years ago …. the place was
probably one of the few coffee shops from the city.
I look on the door and wrote “Renovation” … but there was no worker in there.
In fact the place was looking … amazing … and had no need of renovation… so it was all … a mystery.
But soon i find our in the news that because of different illegal issues the restaurant, the coffee shop … and other businesses the owner had … were closed by authorities.
And i remember that i saw the guy long time ago on tv … acting as a prince that was the most richest guy from my country.
Today … he was in a worst position than … a pauper.
How the hell could this guy jump from the status of a prince
to the one of a … pauper?!
What really happened?!
Was he the prince he thought he was?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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I was reading the news and i could not know what to believe
anymore ….cause usually … i know …. that the press is over reacting … a lot.
The funny thing is that staying in the coffee shop across the street i hear a conversation between 2 gentlemen … speaking about what they believed is the truth behind the real story of that so called … prince that was living from making … fraud. Someone came at him to save his ass … asking a certain prince … but the guy refused.
He really thought that he is … invincible.
The guys near me … were laughing of him, cause the price asked for saving that business was so small …. but you see … the mentality of believing he was a prince and nothing can really happen to him … was … destroying everything.
And today … a guy having so many properties and businesses … was indeed in a worst position than a pauper. A situation … which i personally find … ridiculous….
The Universe sent someone to save his ass … even if a person with such a stupid ego is probably not even worth it … and … he was so blind that … he ignored that help, believing he in invincible.
But life is so damn funny.
Today you can indeed become a prince … but tomorrow … you can become a … pauper.
The story “The Prince and the Pauper” … which everyone should read …. no matter of the age … was in all the newspapers from today … but now … the prince and the pauper was … the same guy.
Truth be told … sometimes the ego just destroys us … making us believe we are invincible ….ignoring the illusion of life and
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
124
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION philosophical essays
the fact that our destinies could be changed over night.
I smile reading such stories … but maybe the truth is that we are all blinds … and we don’t really understand the real paths that we should follow in life.
And then karma …. plays around with us … and we just can’t
believe it ….
Today we feel that the whole world is ours …. tomorrow we
realize that we just lost everything … simple because we act as … idiots.
even if the Universe gave us one more chance … and sent someone to help …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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The illusory paths of life … all those pathless paths that we followed so, so many times … are just part of the karmic process of evolution.
You might dislike them … but it’s better to redefine this feeling … accept and embrace all your experiences
I’ll probably be banned soon on social media cause of intensity of using terms … illusions, illusory, pathless path … and so many other words similar with those one …
Once … a young lady from the scene of my real life, showing her my books even told me that … can’t say for sure … but all my writings looks a little bit … depressive.
i smiled … realizing that she was so afraid of depression. All what i was writing about … were my perceptions … which even looked many times … contradictory.
It was a weird emotional balance … and it all looked like a cocktail of lots of ideas that sometimes appeared as negative
but i was also tried many times to be motivational … or at least look like that.
I was continuously analyzing everything … and defined reality
in such contradictory ways … hoping that this philosophical, but also psychological journey to help me
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
126
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION philosophical essays
understand the meaning of being alive and achieve a beautiful ….or why not amazing life.
And still … having the statistics of my writing … the illusions were dominating my life.
Meditation helped me see … the illusions from my past and of my present moment … but … i was not … happy …
So … one day i’ve asked myself … what if i am living just with the illusion that i am part of an illusion?!
What if I misunderstood all those weird philosophical concepts about life?!
In my mind it was a … total mess …
Well … little by little i started to accept reality just as it was … a karmic journey … and things were the way they were … just to send me … a powerful message. … a philosophical and spiritual message.
But i’ve been dominated by my blindness … and even if deep inside me i knew the truth … the karmic lessons were so annoying that i could not find the power to accept and embrace them.
So … i still had to wait …. continuing the journey on those
karmic pathless paths .. not accepting that i should redefine my perceptions and understand the karmic meanings so that the spiritual evolution to be the main objective of my life.
The illusion or believing that i am part of an illusion … was in fact a … karmic journey.
I had to look at the message behind the message … cause nothing was … what it looked like.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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My false awakening was so
illusory … but the karmic stories were repeated on and on and on ….
When i choosed the name for the book … “The illusion … of being part of an illusion” … i was afraid that something was wrong with the concept.
I somehow believed that i was making a philosophical, but also a spiritual mistake.
But … i continued writing and even if i never really finish my books … i started to realize that all my perceptions … even if they were so contradictory … were not related with the absolute truth.
I had so, so many moments when i believed that awakening had come … but … i was wrong.
I was just living with the false impression that i live an illusion.
Whatever i disliked was actually karmic, but i defined it as illusory …
The illusion of being part of an illusion … was repeated so, so often …. and nothing really changed.
Instead of seeing the life lesson, i was only seeing some weird perceptions …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
128
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I was jumping from one perception to another … and all my thoughts from yesterday … were seen as … false. Again and again and again.
Today i laugh … counting all those moments of so called awakening … realizing that the karmic game did not finished
and all my thoughts … were just simple thoughts and nothing more.
I had to go deeper and deeper …. and find the real truth about the meaning of my life.
Later … and still hope that it’s not too late … the illusory … seemed to me more … karmic and karmic meant powerful messages … whispered by the Universe.
