Tom had …. kind of a depression … being away today from
her.
His huge dependency of her … was ruining his soul … and i could bot believe that sometimes love is really like … narcotics.
It had almost the same effect on him.
So … but is good or bad the fact that they broke up?!
He was seeing it as the end of the world … but i believed it was a positive fact that this dependency was cut off. He simple had to restart his life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
17
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
The illusion of the beautiful love story … went to an end … and it was … a good thing … cause we should never allow … totally lose ourselves in a relationship.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
18
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
Watching the sky and
the clouds … we understand better who we are … and how we metamorphose so often
I was in the mountains.
The phone called 100 times, before i arrived there, so … i even forgot where i was going.
In fact i spoke so much … that battery was dead soon after
parking my car.
And guess what?!
I started to become nervous …. cause i was thinking … what
if someone calls me.
What if something is really urgent?!
What if the end of the world is coming and i can’t save the plannet?!
Imagine … how idiot i could be.
I was climbing the mountain … and i was looking all around for a charger for my phone and also for electricity … but … The Universe was laughing again behind my back … or maybe it was all a message.
I continued climbing … and I could not connect to the nature … not even forget a second.
My silly mind was focus on problems, solving the problems … and truth be told … even generating the problems. I started to ask myself … why the hell am i here?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
19
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION philosophical essays
Why i decided to come to the mountains if i can’t disconnect from my illusory life …. from all those non sense problems?!
But even if the Universe was laughing … still i believed that was loving me … cause fucked the battery of my phone.
In one point … i stoped on the path … being tired of climbing … and i started to watch the sky.
The clouds changed their shape so, so easily in such a short time.
I was amazed of this power of … metamorphosing.
But then … i also see a stone … and asked myself … am i …. a
stone or a cloud?!
What should i be … better?!
Should i accept my daily life … that was actually a chase for problems and problems and problems again … or … start to think about a change … following a process of metamorphosing my … everything.
There are so, so many times when i saw the illusion behind all those stupid actions of mine.
But i looked again at the stone and the clouds … and ….
So … was i a stone or a cloud?!
What was the message sent to me … by the sky?!
Could I disconnect from … everything … and start a new life?!
Could i metamorphose myself?!
Hmm … got no idea …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
20
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
Pretending … my stupid way of acting on the scene of life, but watching the dance of
wind in the middle of the nature … i suddenly realized the need of change
I was following Manuela on social media by already a long time … but i could not understand her.
She was always posting images and movies done in such an artistic way ….in the middle of nature.
I liked her posts … but i could not see the message behind the nature.
And still … somehow i felt that Manuela was whispering me something.
One day … being on a hill, close to the park i usually go to walk … i looked at the grass, but also … at the flowers. The wind … created the scene of an amazing dance … Yes …. the flowers were … dancing … and no one was pretending.
Suddenly i heard the alarm of my phone, which was letting me know about some things i had to do.
I smiled … realizing i had to pretend again and again … to do things i totally disliked to do.
I had to do them … and i … i had to pretend i was doing them well.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
21
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
But i look again at the dance of the grass and the flowers and realized one more time that … it was a real show … of joy. The nature was not pretending.
I was such an idiot … wasting my life in such an illusory way
not understanding at all the message my dear Manuela was telling me about by such o long, long time.
Yes … i had to stop pretending.
I had to stop doing … all those non sense things … that stupid to do list … and start living and enjoying my life.
And watching the show offered by the nature … it was all like a lesson about how i could obtain … my spiritual awakening. But … same as usual … soon after, like many, many other times … even if i understood theory … i continued being ignorant.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
22
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
So … all i see around it’s a … message.
But i believe it’s too damn abstract.
In my obsession of analyzing and defining everything from my life, i came in a position … when i started to believe that i understood the … meaning of this Universe. It all began to make sense.
Well … until one day … when i started to feel that all of my ideas, my values … my everything … were wrong. I stoped what i was doing … and i went to a river.
I was annoyed of having this feeling that all my analysis about life … was not true.
I spent so much time meditating, reading books … and even writing books, but somehow … i failed. In fact … i failed … big.
But near the river … i calmed down myself.
The water …. was going from my left to the right side … and
most probably the river did not know the final destination. Tried to connect with it …. again analyzing and defining … but i was such an idiot.
I could not see the message … behind the message … the one sent by my life.
I smiled in front of my illusory … stupidity.
But watching this show from the nature … i could not see any sign that the river would probably complain of following … its
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
23
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION philosophical essays
path.
The river had no idea of the final destination … and it looked like it was in the connection with the whole Universe.
I was trapped in my own self …. not understanding … the
abstract ideas whispered by the world i was living in.
Or probably i could say that i was living with the illusion that i understand those messages, behind the illusion of being … here.
This idea of mine with analyzing and defining … everything … was … so, so silly.
It made no sense … if in the end … after meditating a lot … we would not redefine … this …. everything around us …
maybe simple understanding that we just need to follow the path …. the one the Universe is offering us.
At the right time … probably everything will be revealed. But i had to continue my path … even if all around myself … everything was so damn … abstract.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
24
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
No … i don’t have a sick mind.
I just explore … my illusory thoughts.
I use to wake up …. make my coffee and start writing my
thoughts on my phone.
Then … i start my day and … i forget everything … and just live.
In the night … i stop again … and write … usually what i have in mind …. mostly defining my … nonsense.
I then go to sleep … smiling … realizing the illusory meaning of this silly script … called … my life. From time to time … i publish.
But … sometimes reading things i used to write long time ago … i just laugh.
Some of the people i know … even close people … reading my essays …. defined me having a … sick mind.
I wanted to reply to them, but somehow understood that it’s really … useless.
And still … they remind me all the time … that i really am a sick person … with a sick mind.
But you see … the funny thing is that i just explore my thoughts, letting my fingers touching my phone … and write all what i feel.
And i feel so, so many things … mostly totally contradictory … thoughts.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
25
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
I somehow decided to call them illusory … instead of contradictory … but i wonder if in fact … it’s not illusory the fact i see illusions all around myself.
Then … i breath and redefine my attitude in front of my thoughts, realizing that … i should not be so silly as all those people that defined me as a person with a sick mind.
And … i give myself the liberty of being myself … and explore again and again … all my thoughts, even if many of them are so damn illusory …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
26
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
Life is too short to
lose our time being … unhappy.
Alice wrote me again.
I looked at her instagram story and told her that … she looks so … unhappy.
Young, beautiful, sexy, smart … and even a successful lady
but never carrying the right vibe …. the one that she supposed to have on her soul.
Well … a total nonsense.
A little bit annoyed … she finds the energy to smile and replies me:
“I'm not unhappy.
That's too much ….said.
I just wanted to be something else in this life and I didn't succeed … that's all.
Today …happiness is a moment, a few minutes who knows when ... and it is not permanent.
Let's not chase that anymore, because it doesn't stay eternal anyway.
It always disappears and then comes back again.
But …. is anyone happy all the time?
No … so … “
Alice was annoyed …. and wanted to convince me that it was
absolutely normal what was going on with her … but …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
27
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION philosophical essays
Well … analyzing her all the time, seeing so many beautiful things that were defining her … i could not understand why the hell … she was carrying in her soul this … illusory unhappiness.
I believed that life is too short to accept unhappiness …. as
part of our life.
I smile to Alice and finally say … “My dear! I really regret that we don’t have a longer path together for this life time … cause i think i could make you … smile …”
I liked Alice … a lot … but she had her path …. and me
another path … in a totally different direction.
So … my perceptions and intentions … were totally irrelevant…
Simple … illusory …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
28
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
Our intentions define
the directions of the paths we are following in life
More i was reading and meditating over the meaning of life and especially … the meaning of my life … more i understood that it’s all so, so illusory.
I could even say that i could define my life as being a student at the University of Illusions.
The Universe was playing around with my mind … sending me in all sorts of karmic situations and i was totally … annoyed.
I found no way out … and it was all so painful for myself.
But you see …. I was so silly … always forgetting the fact that
it was all just an illusion … whispering me in fact a very important … karmic message … repeated on and on and on. And guess what?!
I became more annoyed.
I was blaming the Universe for sending me in such situations … and found absolutely no way of getting out of that.
I started to meditate … a lot … and i was wondering what was i doing wrong that i have such a damn life.
But i was blind … and still could not see a path that could take me out of those karmic stories.
I still smile realizing that when it was really, really bad … i was telling myself … somehow remembering … “Hey! Please
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
29
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION philosophical essays
don’t forget that it’s all … an illusion!”
I was closing my eyes …. and repeated this on and on and
on.
I knew … deep inside me that it was all an illusion … carrying a powerful karmic message … but all i wanted was to get out of that story.
I was even saying to myself … that i would pay any price if someone will help me … get out of that.
Until one day when i understood that … all those karmic stories were generated by my mind.
Being a lost soul, not paying attention at the power of my intentions … and not acting properly … i fucked the energies from the timeline of my life.
I was the one … responsible for all what i was seeing in my reality …. and had to realize that i am also the one that had
to rearrange things … so that life will be calmer and why not … beautiful again.
The way i was acting … and i was responding to the world ….
was the fuel that gave the energies for all those karmic stories.
So … i started to understand the theory … but still did not had the courage to admit the fact that i have to … change my deep intentions … and my reality will be redefined one more time into a beautiful way.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
30
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
Napoleon really believed that he is going to be the emperor of the world … but what should we do with all the others that believe … even today …. that they are … Napoleon?!
Long time ago i saw an interesting movie called “Samadhi - Maya, the illusion of the self” … and reading Napoleon’s memories i smile understanding … how illusory life can be. I meditated a lot over the years about the purpose of life … and even if i had so, so many contradictory ideas … i ended up believing that there is no purpose … but obtain the awakening.
The theory itself, even if i know it’s true … it’s so damn … real …. and still i … somehow …. forget it.
The movie Samadhi … even if it is very difficult to be understood … might reveal for you this concept about the self
and maybe even help you to follow the path of obtaining the awakening … by thinking and living beyond the self. Napoleon’s life …. looks a lot like a story … again … about the illusory self …. and actually the tremendous power of believing in this self.
You see ... i read lots of books about personal growth … and i learnt about believing in myself and also about hope,
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
31
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
her.
His huge dependency of her … was ruining his soul … and i could bot believe that sometimes love is really like … narcotics.
It had almost the same effect on him.
So … but is good or bad the fact that they broke up?!
He was seeing it as the end of the world … but i believed it was a positive fact that this dependency was cut off. He simple had to restart his life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
17
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
The illusion of the beautiful love story … went to an end … and it was … a good thing … cause we should never allow … totally lose ourselves in a relationship.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
18
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
Watching the sky and
the clouds … we understand better who we are … and how we metamorphose so often
I was in the mountains.
The phone called 100 times, before i arrived there, so … i even forgot where i was going.
In fact i spoke so much … that battery was dead soon after
parking my car.
And guess what?!
I started to become nervous …. cause i was thinking … what
if someone calls me.
What if something is really urgent?!
What if the end of the world is coming and i can’t save the plannet?!
Imagine … how idiot i could be.
I was climbing the mountain … and i was looking all around for a charger for my phone and also for electricity … but … The Universe was laughing again behind my back … or maybe it was all a message.
I continued climbing … and I could not connect to the nature … not even forget a second.
My silly mind was focus on problems, solving the problems … and truth be told … even generating the problems. I started to ask myself … why the hell am i here?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
19
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION philosophical essays
Why i decided to come to the mountains if i can’t disconnect from my illusory life …. from all those non sense problems?!
But even if the Universe was laughing … still i believed that was loving me … cause fucked the battery of my phone.
In one point … i stoped on the path … being tired of climbing … and i started to watch the sky.
The clouds changed their shape so, so easily in such a short time.
I was amazed of this power of … metamorphosing.
But then … i also see a stone … and asked myself … am i …. a
stone or a cloud?!
What should i be … better?!
Should i accept my daily life … that was actually a chase for problems and problems and problems again … or … start to think about a change … following a process of metamorphosing my … everything.
There are so, so many times when i saw the illusion behind all those stupid actions of mine.
But i looked again at the stone and the clouds … and ….
So … was i a stone or a cloud?!
What was the message sent to me … by the sky?!
Could I disconnect from … everything … and start a new life?!
Could i metamorphose myself?!
Hmm … got no idea …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
20
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
Pretending … my stupid way of acting on the scene of life, but watching the dance of
wind in the middle of the nature … i suddenly realized the need of change
I was following Manuela on social media by already a long time … but i could not understand her.
She was always posting images and movies done in such an artistic way ….in the middle of nature.
I liked her posts … but i could not see the message behind the nature.
And still … somehow i felt that Manuela was whispering me something.
One day … being on a hill, close to the park i usually go to walk … i looked at the grass, but also … at the flowers. The wind … created the scene of an amazing dance … Yes …. the flowers were … dancing … and no one was pretending.
Suddenly i heard the alarm of my phone, which was letting me know about some things i had to do.
I smiled … realizing i had to pretend again and again … to do things i totally disliked to do.
I had to do them … and i … i had to pretend i was doing them well.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
21
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
But i look again at the dance of the grass and the flowers and realized one more time that … it was a real show … of joy. The nature was not pretending.
I was such an idiot … wasting my life in such an illusory way
not understanding at all the message my dear Manuela was telling me about by such o long, long time.
Yes … i had to stop pretending.
I had to stop doing … all those non sense things … that stupid to do list … and start living and enjoying my life.
And watching the show offered by the nature … it was all like a lesson about how i could obtain … my spiritual awakening. But … same as usual … soon after, like many, many other times … even if i understood theory … i continued being ignorant.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
22
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
So … all i see around it’s a … message.
But i believe it’s too damn abstract.
In my obsession of analyzing and defining everything from my life, i came in a position … when i started to believe that i understood the … meaning of this Universe. It all began to make sense.
Well … until one day … when i started to feel that all of my ideas, my values … my everything … were wrong. I stoped what i was doing … and i went to a river.
I was annoyed of having this feeling that all my analysis about life … was not true.
I spent so much time meditating, reading books … and even writing books, but somehow … i failed. In fact … i failed … big.
But near the river … i calmed down myself.
The water …. was going from my left to the right side … and
most probably the river did not know the final destination. Tried to connect with it …. again analyzing and defining … but i was such an idiot.
I could not see the message … behind the message … the one sent by my life.
I smiled in front of my illusory … stupidity.
But watching this show from the nature … i could not see any sign that the river would probably complain of following … its
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
23
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION philosophical essays
path.
The river had no idea of the final destination … and it looked like it was in the connection with the whole Universe.
I was trapped in my own self …. not understanding … the
abstract ideas whispered by the world i was living in.
Or probably i could say that i was living with the illusion that i understand those messages, behind the illusion of being … here.
This idea of mine with analyzing and defining … everything … was … so, so silly.
It made no sense … if in the end … after meditating a lot … we would not redefine … this …. everything around us …
maybe simple understanding that we just need to follow the path …. the one the Universe is offering us.
At the right time … probably everything will be revealed. But i had to continue my path … even if all around myself … everything was so damn … abstract.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
24
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
No … i don’t have a sick mind.
I just explore … my illusory thoughts.
I use to wake up …. make my coffee and start writing my
thoughts on my phone.
Then … i start my day and … i forget everything … and just live.
In the night … i stop again … and write … usually what i have in mind …. mostly defining my … nonsense.
I then go to sleep … smiling … realizing the illusory meaning of this silly script … called … my life. From time to time … i publish.
But … sometimes reading things i used to write long time ago … i just laugh.
Some of the people i know … even close people … reading my essays …. defined me having a … sick mind.
I wanted to reply to them, but somehow understood that it’s really … useless.
And still … they remind me all the time … that i really am a sick person … with a sick mind.
But you see … the funny thing is that i just explore my thoughts, letting my fingers touching my phone … and write all what i feel.
And i feel so, so many things … mostly totally contradictory … thoughts.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
25
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
I somehow decided to call them illusory … instead of contradictory … but i wonder if in fact … it’s not illusory the fact i see illusions all around myself.
Then … i breath and redefine my attitude in front of my thoughts, realizing that … i should not be so silly as all those people that defined me as a person with a sick mind.
And … i give myself the liberty of being myself … and explore again and again … all my thoughts, even if many of them are so damn illusory …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
26
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
Life is too short to
lose our time being … unhappy.
Alice wrote me again.
I looked at her instagram story and told her that … she looks so … unhappy.
Young, beautiful, sexy, smart … and even a successful lady
but never carrying the right vibe …. the one that she supposed to have on her soul.
Well … a total nonsense.
A little bit annoyed … she finds the energy to smile and replies me:
“I'm not unhappy.
That's too much ….said.
I just wanted to be something else in this life and I didn't succeed … that's all.
Today …happiness is a moment, a few minutes who knows when ... and it is not permanent.
Let's not chase that anymore, because it doesn't stay eternal anyway.
It always disappears and then comes back again.
But …. is anyone happy all the time?
No … so … “
Alice was annoyed …. and wanted to convince me that it was
absolutely normal what was going on with her … but …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
27
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION philosophical essays
Well … analyzing her all the time, seeing so many beautiful things that were defining her … i could not understand why the hell … she was carrying in her soul this … illusory unhappiness.
I believed that life is too short to accept unhappiness …. as
part of our life.
I smile to Alice and finally say … “My dear! I really regret that we don’t have a longer path together for this life time … cause i think i could make you … smile …”
I liked Alice … a lot … but she had her path …. and me
another path … in a totally different direction.
So … my perceptions and intentions … were totally irrelevant…
Simple … illusory …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
28
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
Our intentions define
the directions of the paths we are following in life
More i was reading and meditating over the meaning of life and especially … the meaning of my life … more i understood that it’s all so, so illusory.
I could even say that i could define my life as being a student at the University of Illusions.
The Universe was playing around with my mind … sending me in all sorts of karmic situations and i was totally … annoyed.
I found no way out … and it was all so painful for myself.
But you see …. I was so silly … always forgetting the fact that
it was all just an illusion … whispering me in fact a very important … karmic message … repeated on and on and on. And guess what?!
I became more annoyed.
I was blaming the Universe for sending me in such situations … and found absolutely no way of getting out of that.
I started to meditate … a lot … and i was wondering what was i doing wrong that i have such a damn life.
But i was blind … and still could not see a path that could take me out of those karmic stories.
I still smile realizing that when it was really, really bad … i was telling myself … somehow remembering … “Hey! Please
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
29
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION philosophical essays
don’t forget that it’s all … an illusion!”
I was closing my eyes …. and repeated this on and on and
on.
I knew … deep inside me that it was all an illusion … carrying a powerful karmic message … but all i wanted was to get out of that story.
I was even saying to myself … that i would pay any price if someone will help me … get out of that.
Until one day when i understood that … all those karmic stories were generated by my mind.
Being a lost soul, not paying attention at the power of my intentions … and not acting properly … i fucked the energies from the timeline of my life.
I was the one … responsible for all what i was seeing in my reality …. and had to realize that i am also the one that had
to rearrange things … so that life will be calmer and why not … beautiful again.
The way i was acting … and i was responding to the world ….
was the fuel that gave the energies for all those karmic stories.
So … i started to understand the theory … but still did not had the courage to admit the fact that i have to … change my deep intentions … and my reality will be redefined one more time into a beautiful way.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
30
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
philosophical essays
Napoleon really believed that he is going to be the emperor of the world … but what should we do with all the others that believe … even today …. that they are … Napoleon?!
Long time ago i saw an interesting movie called “Samadhi - Maya, the illusion of the self” … and reading Napoleon’s memories i smile understanding … how illusory life can be. I meditated a lot over the years about the purpose of life … and even if i had so, so many contradictory ideas … i ended up believing that there is no purpose … but obtain the awakening.
The theory itself, even if i know it’s true … it’s so damn … real …. and still i … somehow …. forget it.
The movie Samadhi … even if it is very difficult to be understood … might reveal for you this concept about the self
and maybe even help you to follow the path of obtaining the awakening … by thinking and living beyond the self. Napoleon’s life …. looks a lot like a story … again … about the illusory self …. and actually the tremendous power of believing in this self.
You see ... i read lots of books about personal growth … and i learnt about believing in myself and also about hope,
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
31
THE ILLUSION … OF BEING PART OF THE ILLUSION
