“So … you don’t love him anymore.”
“It’s not that i don’t love him, but the connection is … fucked
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up.”
“So … why you don’t restart your life?!”
“Well … i see so, so many signs everywhere … but i can’t focus on love anymore”
I smile … listening to my dear … Anna .. so i say to her … “You know i wrote so many books about love. What if i should give you love lessons in private?!” Anna started to laugh.
“So .. how those love lessons should be like?! Will we have sex also … to learn about the passion of being together?!” “Well … we will do whatever love is about.
But i could be your teacher … and you could be my teacher. Even if it sounds as a weird experiment … it might help us a lot …. both of us.
You see … i believe that most of relationships fail because of the lack of informations about what a relationship really is, but also means for our souls.
With the right knowledge … but also being connected to the soulmate … everything goes in the right direction.
And … we should have some sex sessions also ….to explore
the meaning of passion … of connecting to the partner … of wanting to be together …. of becoming one.” Anna smiles again.
“You are crazy … as you always had been like that … but you
know what?!
We should do it.
We are so good friends by such a long time … so i will not have any risk to fall in love with you. Love lessons … yes … amazing idea.
Me your teacher.
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You … my teacher.
Or we should say … therapist?! Oh no … does not sound good.
Teacher is a much better term for that.” “Yes.
So let’s choose a hotel … and meet there.
Needs to be a beautiful one … with a big room … a large balcony also … to see and enjoy the view of the city from there.”
Anna smiles one more time.
I succeeded to make her forget about her … unhappiness. It all looked like i was the devil, speaking about the temptation of exploring a dangerous … game.
It was almost like i was inviting her to play … a role in a love story … but still … we were both wondering … what if in one point we will believe that the story is … real?!
But on the other hand … we both needed those love lessons in private.
We failed so, so many times … in the real life, in all the love stories … that we were involved in … so this idea could probably be a great …. trick.
And still … what if i would fall in love of my live teacher?! The question was repeated in my mind on and on and on ….
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You are so damn beautiful, but you … look so unhappy
It might sound so immoral …. but over the years i probably
chatted with hundreds or even thousands of ladies.
And i did that with … joy.
… and still do it … with joy.
I love to write about all those ladies.
They inspires me all the time by so many years.
But … truth be told … Luiza is different and a special person for my soul.
Saw her instagram story today …. and she is so damn
beautiful.
If you would see her on the street … you would fall in love with her … in the next second.
And if i am honest enough … i should admit that i like her … a lot.
There are also moments … when i adore her.
But even if she is so, so beautiful … the paradox is that she is looking … so unhappy.
Always caring a fake beautiful vibe … I somehow see behind that mask … and i can’t see anything that has to do with happiness.
She is a beautiful woman.
… gorgeous i should even say.
She carries indeed a fake beautiful … vibe.
And she really is a beautiful … soul.
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That’s why i adore her … but still … behind that beautiful mask … the unhappiness is revealed for me …. so, so easy.
And i write her a message …. with beautiful compliments …
but wondering why the hell … such a gorgeous lady … is so … so unhappy?!
As usual …. Luiza sent me a smile.
a smile … revealing her unhappiness … again … and again. She certainly knew that i was right.
For both affirmations … that she is not carrying in her soul … the real joy of being alive … but also her beauty as a woman. But … i loved staying connected to her.
It was always a pleasure … to admire her.
I really saw …. In her eyes a symbol of feminine beauty. And i continued thinking …. what about all the other ladies i know … being also extremely beautiful?!
How they really are?!
What value has the beauty if it does not have the right combination with … the joy?!
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Sometimes sex … can repair what is … broken. But sometimes is too
late … and even sex is … useless
Once .. a plastic surgeon doctor told me after his divorce ….
“Listen … the connection between us was so bad at that moment, that even having sex was … horrible.”
I looked at him … and wondered myself … how the hell sex can be defined as … horrible?!
Then … i had the chance to experience that also … years later.
It was absolutely … a total nonsense and i could not understand what is going on.
So …. I’ve asked myself …. what if my friend was …. right?!
What if the connection … being fucked up … everything has to do with that person … is a total mess?!
And i agreed … that there are also situations when sex can be … horrible.
I could not believe that this nonsense situation … could be real.
But why?!
Well … truth be told sometimes sex can repair what is broken …. but sometimes is just too late.
We brake connections cause we accepted into our hearts … to hate, to be annoyed, to betrayal … to let the negative side of
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us to overwhelm us.
Sex …. Is not making sense anymore.
Simple … becomes … useless.
And you understand in that moment that there is only one cure … or maybe 2.
One is let the time heal everything …. and most probably
stop being in contact with that person for a long, long time. Second path … which is actually the most difficult one … is make a total shift … and replace hate and all the other negative emotions with … love. … unconditional love.
And don’t worry … cause results will come soon.
What you started to define as .. horrible … becomes again a nice experience, then good … and in the end it can be redefined … one more time as … amazing.
We somehow realize that sex … tells everything about the connection … if it’s good, bad … or broken.
It measures it in an amazing way … and those feelings are always telling the truth … the real truth. So … just pay attention to that detail.
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A secret love story … the secret place where we can hide by the unwanted reality that we dislike so, so much
It does not happen so often that we hear someone that could say with real honesty that is happy. … that everything is … perfect.
It’s not that happy people are not existing or they never existed on this plannet.
We should really not see them as an …. unreal concept,
cause i really believe that happiness exists for real.
The only problem is that happiness is not a state that last … so long.
unfortunately. But why?!
I always had this damn question in my mind.
The good part is that unhappiness is not lasting forever either … even if it takes usually much longer time to disappear.
So …. what can we conclude?!
How can an adult have a life … lived in a non ending state of happiness?!
Can such a story be real?! Well … well … well …
But maybe we should start from the question … what stop
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happiness to be eternal?!
Maybe the outside world?!
… all the energies that surround us?!
So … a weird idea came into my mind …. what if we should
live also in a secret parallel Universe?!
… like a love story … that should be kept totally secret … totally protected by influences came from the outside world. Could be … with a person that you like a lot … or … even a love story … with your own soul … practicing solitude as much as possible.
But i am sure … it sounds so … weird … that we should not even dare to think of such a scenario.
And still … this balance between happiness and unhappiness is so annoying … especially cause is mainly dominated by ugly energies came from … what we name …. reality. We continue analyzing… on and on and on.
Defining reality … in the end … becomes so obvious that
happiness should last much longer in the absence of the
exterior factors.
So … ?!
Does the theory with a secret love story … worth to be tried?! Can we also think about solitude as a love story with our inner soul?! … helping us to live in a parallel reality much better than the one from the real world.
Maybe all those ideas … are not simple nonsense theories … but real nice tricks … for creating a perfect world … that can make us remain in a non ending state of happiness. So … maybe we should try it …
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Some do not leave because
they have to split their
fortune …. and others because
they have nothing to leave with
Peter was accidentally met Anna at the train station.
He knew her from the high school, but they did not had the chance to talk so much over the years.
And even if they liked each other … still … it looked like it will be no connection between them in this lifetime.
But Peter found the guts to go to her and say …. “Hey Anna!
Nice to see you again after so many years! How are you?!”
Anna was … sad, but tries to send a smile to Peter:
“Hey Peter! What to say?! I had better days as this one.
I am going … to nowhere … cause i don’t really know where i am going.
I simple have no destination.
I will just take the first train and go to the unknown.
And in fact i don’t even care where i go, as long as i am not staying in this village anymore.” “Hahaha!
You know what?! I was so unhappy before meeting you … but now i am laughing.
I had a big fight with my wife and … i came to the train station to take a train to … nowhere.
It looks like we go in the same direction. … so we can go
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together.”
“You are joking … Peter”
“No … i am not.”
They started to laugh … then … of the situation itself.
It was certainly weird to go to the train station and plan to go to … nowhere.
“Peter … why you came to the train station … what do you really plan?!”
“Well Anna … to tell you the truth … i have few businesses and if i would divorce … i should be in the position of splitting this fortune with my wife .. which i really hate.
I worked for so many years and she never helped me with anything at all.
So … the only option i have today is to … run away from home and …”
“I know .. same as me.
But i am in the opposite situation.
Some do not leave because they have to split their fortune
and others because they have nothing to leave with. So my only option today is indeed going to … nowhere. What can you do without money?!”
“So well said … Anna … what i can tell you is …. that with or without money …. the situation is the same.”
And indeed the same situation … even if it has totally different perspectives … it might be about the same thing … the courage we have in front of a big change.
But still … is so damn easy to blame … circumstances. Being in the position of having a miserable life … we do believe that going to … nowhere … is the only option. Nowhere means … the decision to follow no destination … or
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delay one more time everything … until the Universe will decide to help us.
Nowhere also means … the indecision … to accept that the big chance you have to do is … a must.
But … you see … it’s much easier to delay … And the question is …. until when?!
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Always tell a … beautiful story
I’ve been driving.
I was in the city center … and suddenly i see a pauper dressed as Charlie Chaplin.
He was looking so, so much like him.
My wife opened the window and gave him few pennies … impressed of the idea.
The kids were smiling … adoring him.
The guy made all of us … smile and then laugh.
And i was thinking … how the hell can a pauper be so brilliant?!
And i call him brilliant cause … for only few pennies he offered us … joy.
He knew how to tell a story … into a beautiful way.
He could pretend that he had a disease, or that his family is starving … or that his house burned out …or any other lie ….
but he decided to act as a cute pauper that is bringing joy to the people that are driving into the city center.
For a second i really had the illusion that i met Charlie Chaplin …. for real.
And it was a pleasure seeing him.
Then … on the way back to our home … i was thinking on and on …. what if all of us could be so brilliant as this pauper?! Cause somehow … all of us are … paupers.
We ask all kinds of things … money and lots of other possessions … or love … but we always ask for something.
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And if no one is listening to what we ask … we start asking to the Universe.
On and on and on.
But what if before asking anything … we could bring a little
bit of joy in the soul of those people that we interact with?!
Acting differently …
Smiling …
And sending … beautiful vibes.
Most probably we should not even ask … cause they will offer us anything we dream about.
Might be an interesting test … but too bad we are so dogmatic … and we can’t really understand the example of that pauper disguised in Chaplin.
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The connection between 2 souls can’t be defined in a theoretic way … unless those people interact into the real world
My friend Will calls me from time to time telling me about his love stories.
He actually likes my theory about … analyzing, defining … that in the end to redefine whatever we don’t like on the scene of our lives.
