DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINES
philosophical essays
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
1
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
ADRIAN GABRIEL DUMITRU
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
… philosophical essays
Year: 2023
Author: Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
2
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Accepting all what is going on … as part of life and the divine plan … an amazing trick for avoiding depression …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
3
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Dear friends,
Most probably … the worst disease of our times is … the depression.
And … unfortunately we can see it everywhere … at many souls from the stage of our lives.
But what i personally discovered is that depression is not really something … 100% negative.
I see it today … more as an aggressive signal … which is whispering us that … we forgot to be … happy. Nothing more … nothing less …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
4
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
INTRODUCTION
George … was a guy of about 55.
I knew him since i was a kid and i saw him smiling all the time.
Being much older than me … we actually never spent time together when i was a kid … but still .. i was seeing him almost everyday.
So probably i could say that i knew George.
My father was friend with his father … which i remember that had many, many cars … including a beautiful Mercedes.
In the 80’s …. in a communist country … having such a car
was probably the equivalent of a Rolls Royce from nowadays times.
And more i connect to those moments from my childhood … i realize that it was nothing that could say the fact that George was an unhappy guy.
I could probably say the opposite … that he was almost a smiley person … all the time.
But few days ago … i read in social media about the fact that George died in a train accident, most probably suiciding himself … because of depression.
He was a policeman … but now … not anymore.
The real truth was that he was a lost soul … and most probably he could not stand his depression anymore.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
5
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
So what the hell is this thing that we name … depression?! Well … depression (also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression) is a common but serious mood disorder. It causes severe symptoms that affect how you feel, think, and handle daily activities, such as sleeping, eating, or working.
To be diagnosed with depression, the symptoms must be present for at least two weeks.
But maybe George was depressed already by … years, that he decided to suicide.
It’s probably not fair enough to define him … cause i was never closed to him and in the last years i was just saying hello to him only 1-2 times …. but still … i was wondering … why someone should decide to take his life?!
The question was repeated on my mind on and on and on … but still i had the image with George … smiling.
And if i should ask myself …. how do i remember another 100
persons i know … and try to define them randomly .. all i could say is probably that they are … unhappy … most of the times.
So George had a happy face most of the times i was seeing him in my town … but was totally unhappy … and in fact he was … depressive … and many others … i could define as depressives … without a question. George’s example was so … tricky.
He was hiding his real feelings so, so well … and without knowing what the real truth about his life was … i found illogical his action of suicide.
And i start to ask myself … should we let our depression… be expressed?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
6
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Should we allow unhappiness … define our lives or hide it and pretend it’s does not exists?!
Is depression a friend … or a very difficult enemy?!
Can we get rid of it?!
Can we get rid of it …. overnight?!
Well … so many questions …
Too bad i can’t ask George … about his depression and if the trick of getting suicide worked?!
You see … i’m talking about him, cause he use to be a very simple person … probably having a very simple life … but his extreme decision … defines him as an example that worth … our attention.
I saw over the years many people and many of them suffered of depression also … by why those people are not deciding to suicide?!
What is the difference between them and George?! Was George a weak person that could not stand those depressive feelings …. or all the others are too cowards… to end their lives as this friend of mine.
Well …. so many contradictory questions and answers …
But while meditating a lot on what i name the illusion of life … and also about this simple theory of analyzing, defining … so that in the end we could redefine reality … i was wondering … what if what we see and feel on the stage of our lives … is just illusory?!
What if depression is just the feeling of being dominated of illusory interpretation of how we see this world?!
What if we try to simple change our perspectives … and redefine in fact our thoughts and feelings?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
7
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
What if we should try to see the beautiful side of everything is going on?!
And what if … in fact … depression is just a gateway to the real happiness?!
But you see … we don’t like this concept of … illusions. We don’t accept that all what we feel or think is a certain perspective over reality … and …
Well … most probably if we should not be so attached by the inner self …. we could probably see other perspectives.
But something keeps us … prisoners in a jail with invisible walls.
So … the solution?!
Hmm … damn it ….
Why the hell i can’t ask George how is he now?!
Did his depression stopped?!
Can we escape from depression and suicidal thoughts by getting suicide?!
What is the truth behind this annoying karmic habit … of
depression?!
I smile …
I even laugh …
Most probably i had also thoughts as George … but i never let them dominate me.
Many will say that they never had to deal with depression … and still they have miserable lives …
I smile and also laugh … cause today i know that depression is just an illusion … and the habit that we let ourselves be dominated by illusory thoughts and feelings … totally losing control on ourselves.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
8
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Spiritual awakening might be the … real path … to follow … which is probably the real meaning of life …
Suddenly depression becomes kind of a blessing …. or a test
of life that makes us realize it’s time to go deeper and deeper.
The karmic game of illusions … starts to make total sense … but only when we redefine everything related with depression as part of a spiritual process.
And we have so, so many choices …
To accept and embrace it.
To deny it.
To get rid of it … in any way.
I say hello and good bye to George one more time … and i regret the fact that i did not had the chance to tell him that
all we see in this world …. It’s just a … karmic game of illusions.
Most probably now … he would laugh of this illusory disease called … depression … and follow the gateway to the real happiness …. not practicing anymore the attachment to the inner self.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
9
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Exploring … we sometimes get rid of regrets
It happens i know lots of men … that could be illusory defined as pigs, jerks etc etc.
And i do really accept this perspectives … even if i am a man
but i was wondering why the hell we should not also define the other side of the story.
For example i see my friend … Brian … which i know quite well.
He has absolutely all a man of 40 can have … success, money, career, a beautiful house, an amazing family … just everything.
But i don’t see him … really happy.
In fact i could even define him as … depressive … even if i know that he is not.
The funny thing is that me and Paul noticed that Brian changed his plans in the last time.
For example … one day he wrote us that he had driven 200 km to drink a cappuccino in a certain park to a coffee shop that he likes.
And we’ve asked him …. how the hell to drive 400 km just to drink a cappuccino?!
It’s total nonsense …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
10
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
But Brian replied … “You both know that i don’t have a happy marriage.
Remember that 2 months ago i was driving 2000 km to meet that beautiful girl of 21?!
Well … the connection with her was … horrible.
The sex was … the worst story i even experienced … but ….
Yes … i know i am married …
You see … I promised myself i will experience whatever i want to … experience.
I simple refuse to live with regrets.
Why should i live in those illusory thoughts … when i could simple experience life … and decide later if that experience was an illusion or not …”
I was looking at him …. and i agreed.
Truth be told … i stoped myself so, so many times of doing things that i should do … just to not live with any regret at all in my soul.
But … comparing to Brian … i was continuing my silly life … pretending … and accepting that the regrets could overwhelm me from time to time …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
11
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Being unhappy
it’s a … handicap
I felt many times …. unhappy.
And to tell you the truth … had no idea why i felt that.
In fact … this is probably the reason why i’ve started to be interested about philosophy… and of course …. spirituality.
Today … i hate when people tells me that i have a weird … unexplained unhappiness.
They find it … a nonsense … cause i look as a person having … all a normal human being could have.
I look into the eyes of those people …. seeing me in such a
way … and i feel that they whisper me that … i have a huge … handicap.
And yes …. indeed … unhappiness is a …. handicap.
I hate hearing this.
But … more and more people …. come and tell me the same
perception …. about my soul.
that my face is always … unhappy.
I dared to read definitions of unhappiness and even of … depression… but i disliked it. Somehow those people … were right.
But i also started to realize … it was wrong to continue living like that … and that i could cure … this weird handicap. I only had to accept it.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
12
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Then … analyze and define all what is going on with my soul
so that into the end to redefine … the whole script of my life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
13
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Getting rid of addictions … you’ll come face to face with the factors that were generating your depression … but don’t worry … cause it might be challenging …
I was in the car for half an hour with a new friend.
A nice guy, engineer, working on the sea as a sailor … Indeed … a real interesting guy.
As usual i was exploring the human interconnections … and started to chat with him about lots of things related with the life itself.
I saw that he was a little bit intrigued by the fact that i was not drinking whiskey.
In fact i was not drinking alcohol at all …
I used to love drinking … but not anymore.
My new friend from the south of Ukraine … but his other
friends also … could not understand why i refuse to drink
with them whiskey.
Found it as a non sense.
In fact … as a total nonsense.
But i simple smiled.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
14
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
I knew that alcohol was an …addiction.
A very … ugly one.
I asked my friend … “Why do you drink?!”
Seriously… he replied …. “Because of my problems. Helps me
forget about them.”
“Hahaha. But you know … the problems will not disappear”. “I know … but for a while I disconnect completely from them.”
I was in this illusion of alcohol … for years, but you see … i simple decided to stop doing it, realizing that i am not running away by the problems, but by … depression… which was that weird ugly feeling generated by my problems.
So … one day … seeing that the alcohol is only calming down the way i feel, but never heals the way i feel … i just decided to stop drinking.
I had to deal with what looked like … kind of a depression.
And … it was not so hard as it might look like.
I faced my negative thoughts.
I analyzed them and defined everything … in one million ways, realizing in the end that the depression itself is just an illusory state of being … that makes you believe that you’re a victim of the present moment and nothing can change. My mind … was playing around with me.
I was laughing a little bit of my ukrainian friend that could not understand my decision of getting rid of alcohol.
I was facing into my eyes … what could be called as … my depression … and my friend was running away by it, by such a long, long time … same as i was doing for years.
My perception about this illusory concept called … depression … was totally redefined.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
15
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
I found it more as a signal that was whispering me that i was not following the right path for my life. I started to pay huge attention to it.
Each time when i felt a negative emotion … i just stopped from all what i was doing … and meditated. Yes … meditate … meditate … meditate.
In the end … i was smiling seeing my perspectives so … changed.
I realized that the depression was … not a negative issue from my life.
The depression itself was actually … a friend that was trying to help, clarifying and whispering me on and on and on …. the things i need to redefine into my life.
... philosophical essays
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINES
philosophical essays
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
1
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
ADRIAN GABRIEL DUMITRU
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
… philosophical essays
Year: 2023
Author: Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
2
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Accepting all what is going on … as part of life and the divine plan … an amazing trick for avoiding depression …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
3
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Dear friends,
Most probably … the worst disease of our times is … the depression.
And … unfortunately we can see it everywhere … at many souls from the stage of our lives.
But what i personally discovered is that depression is not really something … 100% negative.
I see it today … more as an aggressive signal … which is whispering us that … we forgot to be … happy. Nothing more … nothing less …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
4
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
INTRODUCTION
George … was a guy of about 55.
I knew him since i was a kid and i saw him smiling all the time.
Being much older than me … we actually never spent time together when i was a kid … but still .. i was seeing him almost everyday.
So probably i could say that i knew George.
My father was friend with his father … which i remember that had many, many cars … including a beautiful Mercedes.
In the 80’s …. in a communist country … having such a car
was probably the equivalent of a Rolls Royce from nowadays times.
And more i connect to those moments from my childhood … i realize that it was nothing that could say the fact that George was an unhappy guy.
I could probably say the opposite … that he was almost a smiley person … all the time.
But few days ago … i read in social media about the fact that George died in a train accident, most probably suiciding himself … because of depression.
He was a policeman … but now … not anymore.
The real truth was that he was a lost soul … and most probably he could not stand his depression anymore.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
5
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
So what the hell is this thing that we name … depression?! Well … depression (also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression) is a common but serious mood disorder. It causes severe symptoms that affect how you feel, think, and handle daily activities, such as sleeping, eating, or working.
To be diagnosed with depression, the symptoms must be present for at least two weeks.
But maybe George was depressed already by … years, that he decided to suicide.
It’s probably not fair enough to define him … cause i was never closed to him and in the last years i was just saying hello to him only 1-2 times …. but still … i was wondering … why someone should decide to take his life?!
The question was repeated on my mind on and on and on … but still i had the image with George … smiling.
And if i should ask myself …. how do i remember another 100
persons i know … and try to define them randomly .. all i could say is probably that they are … unhappy … most of the times.
So George had a happy face most of the times i was seeing him in my town … but was totally unhappy … and in fact he was … depressive … and many others … i could define as depressives … without a question. George’s example was so … tricky.
He was hiding his real feelings so, so well … and without knowing what the real truth about his life was … i found illogical his action of suicide.
And i start to ask myself … should we let our depression… be expressed?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
6
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Should we allow unhappiness … define our lives or hide it and pretend it’s does not exists?!
Is depression a friend … or a very difficult enemy?!
Can we get rid of it?!
Can we get rid of it …. overnight?!
Well … so many questions …
Too bad i can’t ask George … about his depression and if the trick of getting suicide worked?!
You see … i’m talking about him, cause he use to be a very simple person … probably having a very simple life … but his extreme decision … defines him as an example that worth … our attention.
I saw over the years many people and many of them suffered of depression also … by why those people are not deciding to suicide?!
What is the difference between them and George?! Was George a weak person that could not stand those depressive feelings …. or all the others are too cowards… to end their lives as this friend of mine.
Well …. so many contradictory questions and answers …
But while meditating a lot on what i name the illusion of life … and also about this simple theory of analyzing, defining … so that in the end we could redefine reality … i was wondering … what if what we see and feel on the stage of our lives … is just illusory?!
What if depression is just the feeling of being dominated of illusory interpretation of how we see this world?!
What if we try to simple change our perspectives … and redefine in fact our thoughts and feelings?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
7
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
What if we should try to see the beautiful side of everything is going on?!
And what if … in fact … depression is just a gateway to the real happiness?!
But you see … we don’t like this concept of … illusions. We don’t accept that all what we feel or think is a certain perspective over reality … and …
Well … most probably if we should not be so attached by the inner self …. we could probably see other perspectives.
But something keeps us … prisoners in a jail with invisible walls.
So … the solution?!
Hmm … damn it ….
Why the hell i can’t ask George how is he now?!
Did his depression stopped?!
Can we escape from depression and suicidal thoughts by getting suicide?!
What is the truth behind this annoying karmic habit … of
depression?!
I smile …
I even laugh …
Most probably i had also thoughts as George … but i never let them dominate me.
Many will say that they never had to deal with depression … and still they have miserable lives …
I smile and also laugh … cause today i know that depression is just an illusion … and the habit that we let ourselves be dominated by illusory thoughts and feelings … totally losing control on ourselves.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
8
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Spiritual awakening might be the … real path … to follow … which is probably the real meaning of life …
Suddenly depression becomes kind of a blessing …. or a test
of life that makes us realize it’s time to go deeper and deeper.
The karmic game of illusions … starts to make total sense … but only when we redefine everything related with depression as part of a spiritual process.
And we have so, so many choices …
To accept and embrace it.
To deny it.
To get rid of it … in any way.
I say hello and good bye to George one more time … and i regret the fact that i did not had the chance to tell him that
all we see in this world …. It’s just a … karmic game of illusions.
Most probably now … he would laugh of this illusory disease called … depression … and follow the gateway to the real happiness …. not practicing anymore the attachment to the inner self.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
9
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Exploring … we sometimes get rid of regrets
It happens i know lots of men … that could be illusory defined as pigs, jerks etc etc.
And i do really accept this perspectives … even if i am a man
but i was wondering why the hell we should not also define the other side of the story.
For example i see my friend … Brian … which i know quite well.
He has absolutely all a man of 40 can have … success, money, career, a beautiful house, an amazing family … just everything.
But i don’t see him … really happy.
In fact i could even define him as … depressive … even if i know that he is not.
The funny thing is that me and Paul noticed that Brian changed his plans in the last time.
For example … one day he wrote us that he had driven 200 km to drink a cappuccino in a certain park to a coffee shop that he likes.
And we’ve asked him …. how the hell to drive 400 km just to drink a cappuccino?!
It’s total nonsense …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
10
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
But Brian replied … “You both know that i don’t have a happy marriage.
Remember that 2 months ago i was driving 2000 km to meet that beautiful girl of 21?!
Well … the connection with her was … horrible.
The sex was … the worst story i even experienced … but ….
Yes … i know i am married …
You see … I promised myself i will experience whatever i want to … experience.
I simple refuse to live with regrets.
Why should i live in those illusory thoughts … when i could simple experience life … and decide later if that experience was an illusion or not …”
I was looking at him …. and i agreed.
Truth be told … i stoped myself so, so many times of doing things that i should do … just to not live with any regret at all in my soul.
But … comparing to Brian … i was continuing my silly life … pretending … and accepting that the regrets could overwhelm me from time to time …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
11
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Being unhappy
it’s a … handicap
I felt many times …. unhappy.
And to tell you the truth … had no idea why i felt that.
In fact … this is probably the reason why i’ve started to be interested about philosophy… and of course …. spirituality.
Today … i hate when people tells me that i have a weird … unexplained unhappiness.
They find it … a nonsense … cause i look as a person having … all a normal human being could have.
I look into the eyes of those people …. seeing me in such a
way … and i feel that they whisper me that … i have a huge … handicap.
And yes …. indeed … unhappiness is a …. handicap.
I hate hearing this.
But … more and more people …. come and tell me the same
perception …. about my soul.
that my face is always … unhappy.
I dared to read definitions of unhappiness and even of … depression… but i disliked it. Somehow those people … were right.
But i also started to realize … it was wrong to continue living like that … and that i could cure … this weird handicap. I only had to accept it.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
12
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Then … analyze and define all what is going on with my soul
so that into the end to redefine … the whole script of my life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
13
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
Getting rid of addictions … you’ll come face to face with the factors that were generating your depression … but don’t worry … cause it might be challenging …
I was in the car for half an hour with a new friend.
A nice guy, engineer, working on the sea as a sailor … Indeed … a real interesting guy.
As usual i was exploring the human interconnections … and started to chat with him about lots of things related with the life itself.
I saw that he was a little bit intrigued by the fact that i was not drinking whiskey.
In fact i was not drinking alcohol at all …
I used to love drinking … but not anymore.
My new friend from the south of Ukraine … but his other
friends also … could not understand why i refuse to drink
with them whiskey.
Found it as a non sense.
In fact … as a total nonsense.
But i simple smiled.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
14
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
I knew that alcohol was an …addiction.
A very … ugly one.
I asked my friend … “Why do you drink?!”
Seriously… he replied …. “Because of my problems. Helps me
forget about them.”
“Hahaha. But you know … the problems will not disappear”. “I know … but for a while I disconnect completely from them.”
I was in this illusion of alcohol … for years, but you see … i simple decided to stop doing it, realizing that i am not running away by the problems, but by … depression… which was that weird ugly feeling generated by my problems.
So … one day … seeing that the alcohol is only calming down the way i feel, but never heals the way i feel … i just decided to stop drinking.
I had to deal with what looked like … kind of a depression.
And … it was not so hard as it might look like.
I faced my negative thoughts.
I analyzed them and defined everything … in one million ways, realizing in the end that the depression itself is just an illusory state of being … that makes you believe that you’re a victim of the present moment and nothing can change. My mind … was playing around with me.
I was laughing a little bit of my ukrainian friend that could not understand my decision of getting rid of alcohol.
I was facing into my eyes … what could be called as … my depression … and my friend was running away by it, by such a long, long time … same as i was doing for years.
My perception about this illusory concept called … depression … was totally redefined.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
15
DEPRESSION … THE GATEWAY TO THE REAL HAPPINESS
... philosophical essays
I found it more as a signal that was whispering me that i was not following the right path for my life. I started to pay huge attention to it.
Each time when i felt a negative emotion … i just stopped from all what i was doing … and meditated. Yes … meditate … meditate … meditate.
In the end … i was smiling seeing my perspectives so … changed.
I realized that the depression was … not a negative issue from my life.
The depression itself was actually … a friend that was trying to help, clarifying and whispering me on and on and on …. the things i need to redefine into my life.
