I analyze my own case … and i realize i am somehow a virtual machine for inducing fantasies … and this is probably one of the reasons why i’ve wrote so many books with love essays.
My mind is indeed dominated by lots of thoughts …. that
have nothing to do with reality … but unfortunately i believe they are really important for us ... to become real.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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I am in fact totally disconnected from reality, not carrying at
all … of the present moment.
And i keep living like that.
On and on and on.
Dreaming of … illusions … instead of being connected to my real life.
And … i end up all the time … feeling unhappy realizing this huge gap between reality and the illusory reality from my mind.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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It’s a new day … and we can take the decision to disconnect from anything we disliked yesterday ….
and connect to totally different vibes.
A new day it’s always a new chance to start a totally different life.
Let’s assume it’s been a while when you had in your life a person that somehow … you liked a lot. And everything was … just great.
Unfortunately …. the dynamic of the relationship was not
what you really expected … so … all ended up as something that is daily sending you … real ugly vibes.
Being idiots …. not really understanding what it means the
dance of energies beyond the scene of our lives … even if everything was metamorphosed from something positive to something that is ruining us emotionally … we don’t even think for a second to disconnect from that person.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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Life continues … and everyday we live an ugly scenario that
is just destroying … our lives.
We endure … everything.
Many times … we don’t even say a word about it … not realizing we could just stop this domination of ugly vibes. One day … waking up …. we could simple take the decision to
smile again … and break the connection … with that person that dominating us in such a terrible way … is just destroying us … little by little … day by day.
We could become smarter … and wiser … And be more determined.
Analyzing … defining … and realizing everything could be redefined … just by taking the decision to stop being dominated … is probably the best scenario we could have in mind.
But … we still wait ….
Yesterday was an unhappy day.
One week ago … the same.
One month ago … also.
And this ugly scenario is being repeated on and on and on ….
only and only because we don’t realize that the same way we allowed to connect to certain people … in the same way we could just take the decision to stop … everything … if it all became a story which we dislike.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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The past experiences influence us … a lot.
The fantasies from our minds …
influence also.
In the end … not being able to
connect to the present moment … we end up being dominated by all those influences.
And all is … fucked up.
My friend Carl had in the last 2 years … after his divorce … 57 dates with different ladies.
Will … which divorced 6 years ago … 34.
Brian …. my dear friend … which is still married … told us
today that he had approximately 70 dates with different ladies in the last … year.
And i could continue speaking about all my other divorced friends … Jim, John, Michael, Willian … and all the others … It all became a story about … numbers.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
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It’s not anymore … a story about … love stories.
If i would let Brian to define me .. why the hell he did not stoped sooner … choose one of the ladies, divorce and start a new life … he would probably start telling me that he disliked this at the lady number 1, this at number 2 etc etc. I would be amazed of the list of … excuses.
But on the other hand … i also know lots of divorced ladies … and the story is the same.
Alice … my close friend from middle school … influenced me a lot into my writings … even i did not mentioned her name. She dated tens of men … in the last few years … and i smile hearing the same stories … Carl, Jim, John and all the others told me about.
I can only conclude that we live in the internet era and it’s been never so, so easy to find new and new people to … date with.
So … the real question is … is it good or bad?!
And why we can’t stop practicing this game?!
Why we date … and even have sex … with so, so many partners?!
Could we … one day … simple stop?!
Well … what it’s also curious is that all those people … i just wrote about … also tell me all the time that are looking for the perfect partner.
And i find that …. funny … not just curious.
I look at Carl … but also at Alice … see them so much influenced of the past … having the behavior of people that are flirting with everyone around … but in the same time telling me about that … perfect love story.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
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In fact .. they define me so clear those fantasies … that i even dare to ask … what do you smoke all day long?!
But i just smile …. looking at all those influences and then …
laugh.
Alice is so serious defining me with so, so many details everything.
… and Carl the same.
Their behavior … influenced so much of dating with so, so many people … and all those illusory fantasies with the perfect partner … becomes in the end … a weird cocktail of contradictory emotions … which tasted … just destroys everything into the present moment.
Maybe I understand Carl … that keeps flirting with so many ladies … cause i am a man … and men really want to taste the energy of many woman.
But i can’t understand Alice’s behavior … doing the same thing … on and on and on.
I can only conclude that we are dominated … by our own influences.
And maybe … we have no chance … of a real change.
So … i let my dear friends keep telling me … their stories
from past, present moment, but also the projections for the
future … and i just smile.
And try to not … judge them.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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Influencing and being influenced … unfortunately a non ending process … which is many times ruining our lives.
I was seeing them …. everyday.
I was in fact admiring them … all the time.
Looking at their connection … which was indeed the connection of love … i realized that love is … an amazing thing.
I ignored it for years … even if i knew it.
But i was analyzing this couple … on and on and on. It was a great example for my book … about love. Somehow … i was obsessed of this inter connection … between their souls.
I wanted to understand the process itself … and how deep it was.
Unfortunately… one day … i’ve realized that i’ve seen … the whole story.
I saw them extremely happy together … but also saw them …. in the end … so, so … unhappy.
Or i could probably say that …. they were balancing between
happiness and … unhappiness.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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An amazing relationship became … illogical in the end. Weeks later …. I found out that a guy that used to like her a
lot …. was telling her all the time real bad things about the
relationship with what she defined as …. the love of her life.
And the guy … over reacted so, so good … that … in the end … Sheila really started to believe him.
That so called friend … that had a real passion for her … was in fact … a reflection of her fears. Maybe she also wanted him.
Maybe … she wanted both stories … somehow into the same time … but letting herself influenced so, so much … forgot about the connection with her lover. Happiness … became … unhappiness.
It was somehow … metamorphosed … into such an ugly way.
I could swear that connections still existed.
Love … was also present into their souls.
But …. letting herself be dominated by the outside world …
everything was ruined.
And damn it … was such an amazing love story.
So … what can we do to protect ourselves?!
How can we keep remaining in beautiful scenarios?! Well … maybe just understanding the meaning and the importance of the connection.
Anything else … could be totally ignored.
We all have fears …. and sometimes they become real …
indeed.
But we also have dreams … and they become real also … and … as idiots … we just fail … even in best case scenarios.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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Influencing and being influenced… is a real fact ….
And letting other people … which don’t have real good intentions … to ruin our lives … is also a real fact.
most probably …. a total nonsense. All becomes a story about … dominance.
a beautiful story … metamorphosed into an ugly one.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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Being unemotional … a weird handicap that is making us … spoiling even perfect
case scenarios
I see many people around myself … dominated by emotions. And it’s weird realizing that they destroy themselves … allowing those emotions to dominate themselves. It happened to me too.
Especially … when i was in love.
But in time … i somehow realized … that being dominated … no matter what that was … is not a positive thing for myself. I knew the theory … that love is everything and others blablablas … but …
I understood i need to not allow anything and anyone to dominated my life … or my soul.
I started to work with myself … more and more … until one day … when analyzing and defining myself … i’ve realized that i’ve became … unemotional.
I was writing 10 books of love essays, as in the end to see that I’ve metamorphosed myself into a person that does not have emotions … or at least … not anymore.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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It was … all ok.
It was all … kind of a protection that was allowing me … not to suffer anymore.
But the same protection that was allowing me to be hurt by the negative impact of my emotions … was stopping me to feel the happy moments from my life.
And … analyzing myself again … deeper and deeper … i found the guts to define myself … as a zombie. I was not feeling anything … anymore.
I had the protection against being hurt … but i did not realized that i could also lose the ability of enjoying the happy moments of my life.
And being … and acting like an outside observer … i was counting the opportunities that i was missing.
One ….
And another one …
But seeing this balance between … the chances of being hurt by life … and also the huge loss of enjoying so many chances of being actually happy … i somehow concluded that my ….
so called protection … became actually … a weird handicap. I can’t write love essays anymore … cause my heart is not enjoying any love feelings … but i can only write as an observer.
I’ve metamorphosed myself into a writer that writes about amazing feelings … that i don’t feel anymore. So … illogical … but a true fact.
Maybe i need someone …. to redefine my thinking, my way of
being, my everything … so that i start have feelings again.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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… love feelings.
So … maybe i need … a love teacher.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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Truth be told … we can’t stop ourselves adoring more than one person.
She was 24 … and her husband 26.
And … that amazing friend of her husband was 48, same as her mother … but she never knew his age … cause he was looking so, so young.
But … time was passing and Eric understood from her look … that Clara liked him.
In fact … it was so damn clear … that he could just go … hug and kiss her.
She loved her husband … but many times he was away … in his business trips … and that made their relationship too complicated.
And after a while …. it became so, so difficult to control … her
feelings.
It all was … obvious…. but could not understand what is
really going on … cause she really loved her husband.
I could even say … she adored her partner … being together by more than 8 years …. since high school.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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DOMINATING AND BEING DOMINATED … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
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And still … this man … made her lost her mind …. and the
control over …. everything.
One day … finding out his age … realizing he has the same age as her mother … she understood one more time that it’s all so … inappropriate … but …
She could not stop herself … liking him.
In fact …. adoring him.
Clara could not understand… this nonsense that was
dominating her soul.
Why?!
Why?!
Why?!
She kept wondering herself … “Why i adore in the same time … almost with the same intensity … those 2 men?!
I should stop myself … adoring … Eric … but i simple … can’t.” I was smiling … looking at this story … realizing that many times … energies beyond the scene of life … are controlling … everything.
And we define all as a … nonsense.
Maybe Eric and Clara were lovers into a previous life … and seeing their connection as illusory … was actually …. so silly of us.
And … the nonsense continued …
She could not stop herself … to adore him.
… and Eric … simple adored … being adored.
Analyzing them … trying to define all …. I smiled … finally
understanding the dance of energies … beyond reality. …. not even bothered to say anything … anymore …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
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No matter of what type of influences are coming to us … we should not allow as them to become dominant
I see influences everywhere.
I believe we just can’t live without interacting with those influences.
