Took his family … went in vacations in different parts of the world … but still … looking in the mirror … every morning … that profound sadness was there … all the time.
Unhappiness was following him all the time … no matter what he was doing.
Copying all those patterns of the happy stories from social media … was really useless for him.
Emilian totally disliked all what was going on with his life … cause no trick worked for him … at least to start following the path of happiness.
It worked so damn easy when he tried to chase for success … but when it came about happiness …
Success itself looked today like a pathless path for him … and the concept of happiness … something that he will never get … even if he was trying so, so many thicks.
Writing the book itself … looked to me like a book of self therapy … same as i was doing.
He was in fact defining his unhappiness on and on and on … trying to find out why the hell he was the prisoner of those feelings.
And he was writing … a book of 500 pages … but I honestly believe he did not found the answer.
Like many others ….
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
72
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN philosophical essays
Most probably … happiness does not have patterns. Happiness itself is simple about connecting to the present moment … and enjoy the moment itself … whatever that means.
Emilian ended his book … realizing he was unable to connect
to the vibes of happiness.
Same as me …
Same as many, many others …
Feeling prisoner … into a reality that has nothing to do with
the one he dreamed about …
But Emilian was still dreaming …
He was remembering about all those tricks used when he was chasing his success … and somehow dreamed that one day he will find the right tricks for a … happy reality. Happiness was maybe close to him … but he was the prisoner of unhappy vibes.
Something kept him prisoner there.
But what?!
Or who?!
Maybe … he was the prisoner … but also the guardian of that scene ….
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
73
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN
philosophical essays
Revenge has so, so many weird forms. Sometimes you see a stupid unexplainable desire of … sending you back into the past
just to feel again those moments. And maybe re become the prisoner of that
past … again … and again … and again.
I knew Amelia by a long, long time.
I also knew Andrew … but not so well as this beautiful lady that used to be my friend by so many years. I’ve analyzed her many times.
I’ve even judged her … but if i should define her into a proper way … most probably … i would say lots of beautiful things … except the fact that even if it does not look so … she really had a bad character.
You see … Andrew never told me his side of the story … why they broke up … but i sometimes feel that he was not the one that simple … fucked … everything.
I knew Amelia’s talent of destroying everything around. And i really knew that she was … the best in the world … when it came about destroying beautiful things.
She had an unexplainable desire of dominating the scene of life … but did not realized that …this stupid desire … was actually breaking into pieces anything she was … touching.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
74
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN philosophical essays
Having enough … Andrew decided to get out of such weird relationship … where everything was balancing all the time between contradictory emotions.
Today he was happy in her arms … but the day after tomorrow …. something happened all the time and Amelia was … fucking everything.
He was actually living an unacceptable life scenario …. living
in a prison of emotions and feeling that were ruining his soul. And … one day he left her … hoping that was a final decision for his life.
She was pretending that she accepted his decision …. but
from time to time …. using her amazing charm … she was
inviting him … to see her again … and why not … make love … just one more time …
He could never refuse those invitations … but soon after he felt again … being the prisoner of the past.
Prisoner of a reality that he forgot so easily that …. he was
hating.
It was kind of a revenge that Amelia was practicing …
remembering him … how amazing she used to be in some of
the moments spent together.
Then she disappeared.
She acted as a ghost …
A ghost from his past … that was annoyed that Andrew stoped being dominated by her energies.
And the balance of his emotions appeared on and on and on
being prisoner again … then releasing himself from prison. A non ending story that revealed that love is not just about love … but also about ugly energies …. domination … and also many other dark sides that we carry inside our souls.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
75
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN
philosophical essays
Today … i stoped judging Amelia.
But i was laughing of how idiot Andrew could be … coming back into her arms … even if he knew the story … so damn well.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
76
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN
philosophical essays
Dolce far niente … a way of connecting to the Infinite
I spoke a lot in the last time with someone that is always telling me … when i ask how she is doing …. that she is just relaxing.
We joke … remembering about the concept … …. “Dolce far
niente” …. which is an italian saying … meaning …
“sweet doing nothing, sweet idleness”.
But everyday when i ask her … the same question … she is telling me the same thing.
And knowing that my friend has kind of a spiritual intelligence … i realized i need to think more about …. what is behind that fact.
Why someone like her … involved into so many things into the past … could decide one day … to stop doing anything at all?!
It’s weird.
I found it illogical.
Total nonsense.
Until one day when i realized … she already discovered by a long, long time that life itself is a prison with invisible walls. So … why should she bother to do anything at all … while being into a prison?!
But there was …. one more secret.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
77
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN philosophical essays
While relaxing …. she felt a joy … difficult to be defined.
It was something …. unbelievable.
Was something that was looking a lot with … the connection with the Infinite.
The moment of stillness … was creating a connection with all it exists … and the prison … and all the other borders … finally disappeared.
That moment of relaxation metamorphosed into something that … had an amazing value for her soul.
Dolce far niente … became a purpose for her life … even if all around her … found that a total nonsense … and were laughing … behind her back.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
78
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN
philosophical essays
Not loving ourselves … we end up seeing how so many around start disliking us … and we just can’t understand why
A guy goes to a guru … complaining to him … but also asking for help.
In few minutes Mark succeeded to explain all his recent life …
but instead of showing a certain type of compassion to him …
guru started to laugh.
Mark could not believe it.
“I’m sorry! Probably you misunderstood something. Why do you laugh of me?!” … Mark asks.
“My friend! I’m laughing …. of your naivety.
I’m sorry i can’t stop myself.
You said you read lots of books of philosophy and spirituality. I’m sure you heard the saying that … the life itself it’s actually a mirror of our souls.
For a reason … related with your past …. you don’t appreciate
yourself … and you also don’t love yourself.
This is the energy you send to the people … when you are surrounded by them.
Understanding the concept of reflection is maybe the …. cure
… for a better life.
When people met you … they first see your beautiful side … but connecting to them … you start sending another message … a contradictory one.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
79
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN philosophical essays
So … they somehow start to dislike you.
And you knew that thing … long before you came here.
You knew it … but you refused to believe it.
You need to accept … yourself.
To embrace everything related with your being …. and also
love yourself.
We come into this world … with a very clean soul … but later on … the world is breaking it into very small pieces.
The only medicine to fix ourselves again is just … using the power of love.
And first … of self love.
Might sound as a cliche … but it’s not.
Meditate … and soon you’ll find the new path to follow.” Mark smiled politely … and left the guru …. not even saying good bye.
He was not expecting to hear that.
Or maybe to be more precise … he hoped that he will hear something else.
Mark knew indeed this theory …. but theory is theory … and
real life is real life.
It was like he was living into a prison … where he had no access to … love.
And indeed guru was right … laughing.
He was laughing seeing Mark … keeping himself prisoner into a jail … where he was the guardian, but also the … prisoner.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
80
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN
philosophical essays
Relationships of any kind … should not involve any domination at all. Otherwise everything will be fucked up.
Many relationships start very well.
Some even … excellent, but what is funny is that if you should analyze many people that declare they are enemies … and understand deeply their relationship … you should understand first that before becoming enemies … they were friends.
And …. even close friends.
So why are things like that?!
What they liked at each other that they became friends ….
and what they disliked at each other so much that they
became enemies?!
Is this normal?!
Is this a nonsense?!
I’ve analyzed the cases from my own life …. and realized that
it was all related with the trend of domination. On my side.
And on the side of that person … which i defined … friend … but many times … also by my side.
Seeing how i fuck everything around myself … i changed the desire of domination …. with a shying try of influencing.
I stoped forcing anything at all.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
81
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN philosophical essays
And also realized that whenever i see the try of domination on the other side … i simple disconnect and disappear.
I prefer … open relationships… based on the respect for the other’s side entity.
I’ve started to be more opened.
I respect that … while traveling into this world … and experience things … and different stories … i’m going to meet other entities too.
People with good sides … but also people with bad sides. And when i say … respect … it’s all about accepting that i don’t need to see the spectrum of my own energies … all over.
Stopping the stupid desire of domination … became .. a must … for my new philosophy of life.
And i continued smiling in front of anyone that wants to dominate my soul.
I was smiling … and disappeared… in the next second … exactly like a ghost.
I did not wanted to become the prisoner of any unwanted energy …. but either to become the guardian of anyone. That should be … an useless life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
82
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN
philosophical essays
Sometimes it’s all about
sex … and it’s like taking a magic pill …
I chat with my friend Brian all the time about his love stories. There are a lot of essays i’ve wrote … related with his experiences … and i believe i did not made any mistake sharing those episodes to the public.
Many times i define with Brian … all those things from his life … as a therapy.
I’m actually teaching him the art of analyzing, defining and then redefining his own life.
Yesterday we’ve remembered about a love story which he had 10 years ago … and we’ve wondered why the hell … the whole story happened only and only into that hotel room from the city center.
All was amazing … but he still could not define properly if it was a story about love … or about sex.
He was married at that time … and she was married also … so going out … even walking together on the streets was difficult.
So … they continued for a long time … having a relationship only and only on the scene of that room.
And i remember that every time he was meeting her … it was like he was taking the magic pill of happiness.
Talking to Brian ... we’ve realized that not even after so much time …could not say for sure … if it was a good thing
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
83
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN philosophical essays
for him … or not.
But maybe he just needed to live that experience.
He needed a magic pill … and nothing more.
An analgesic to … treat his depression.
Or maybe we should define all … as an amazing trick …. so
that he can feel alive from time to time.
But … even if this was all he wanted from her …. their
relationship from the hotel room … she saw all as a prison cell.
She loved all what was going on between them … but being together just there … she felt prisoner of an amazing weird love story.
Later on … they ended the story … but …
After so many years … me and Brian could not define for clear that story … but this is life … and from time to time … we need kind of a magic pill as a … therapy.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
84
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN
philosophical essays
I don’t believe in domination.
I believe in synchronizing energies.
I wrote many books about love stories … and what i regret most is that i did not used … almost at all the word …. sex.
But i’ve spent a huge time analyzing and defining the connection between a man and a woman.
Unfortunately… it was all from my perspective … as a man. And even if i tried to connect to so many other ladies … that i had nothing to do with … i still did not understand the real … subject.
I see today all my writings … actually as a great help for the ladies that want to find out how a man thinks … but it’s 100
not the truth about relationships. In fact … not even close to that.
But i still feel myself dominated by my own ideas.
I still care of them … and maybe the real truth is that everything i do …. all the decisions i am taken are related with my perceptions.
And i am laughing seeing that in … everything means my life … i try to make all my best as reality to look like my perceptions.
Unhappiness was following him all the time … no matter what he was doing.
Copying all those patterns of the happy stories from social media … was really useless for him.
Emilian totally disliked all what was going on with his life … cause no trick worked for him … at least to start following the path of happiness.
It worked so damn easy when he tried to chase for success … but when it came about happiness …
Success itself looked today like a pathless path for him … and the concept of happiness … something that he will never get … even if he was trying so, so many thicks.
Writing the book itself … looked to me like a book of self therapy … same as i was doing.
He was in fact defining his unhappiness on and on and on … trying to find out why the hell he was the prisoner of those feelings.
And he was writing … a book of 500 pages … but I honestly believe he did not found the answer.
Like many others ….
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
72
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN philosophical essays
Most probably … happiness does not have patterns. Happiness itself is simple about connecting to the present moment … and enjoy the moment itself … whatever that means.
Emilian ended his book … realizing he was unable to connect
to the vibes of happiness.
Same as me …
Same as many, many others …
Feeling prisoner … into a reality that has nothing to do with
the one he dreamed about …
But Emilian was still dreaming …
He was remembering about all those tricks used when he was chasing his success … and somehow dreamed that one day he will find the right tricks for a … happy reality. Happiness was maybe close to him … but he was the prisoner of unhappy vibes.
Something kept him prisoner there.
But what?!
Or who?!
Maybe … he was the prisoner … but also the guardian of that scene ….
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
73
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN
philosophical essays
Revenge has so, so many weird forms. Sometimes you see a stupid unexplainable desire of … sending you back into the past
just to feel again those moments. And maybe re become the prisoner of that
past … again … and again … and again.
I knew Amelia by a long, long time.
I also knew Andrew … but not so well as this beautiful lady that used to be my friend by so many years. I’ve analyzed her many times.
I’ve even judged her … but if i should define her into a proper way … most probably … i would say lots of beautiful things … except the fact that even if it does not look so … she really had a bad character.
You see … Andrew never told me his side of the story … why they broke up … but i sometimes feel that he was not the one that simple … fucked … everything.
I knew Amelia’s talent of destroying everything around. And i really knew that she was … the best in the world … when it came about destroying beautiful things.
She had an unexplainable desire of dominating the scene of life … but did not realized that …this stupid desire … was actually breaking into pieces anything she was … touching.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
74
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN philosophical essays
Having enough … Andrew decided to get out of such weird relationship … where everything was balancing all the time between contradictory emotions.
Today he was happy in her arms … but the day after tomorrow …. something happened all the time and Amelia was … fucking everything.
He was actually living an unacceptable life scenario …. living
in a prison of emotions and feeling that were ruining his soul. And … one day he left her … hoping that was a final decision for his life.
She was pretending that she accepted his decision …. but
from time to time …. using her amazing charm … she was
inviting him … to see her again … and why not … make love … just one more time …
He could never refuse those invitations … but soon after he felt again … being the prisoner of the past.
Prisoner of a reality that he forgot so easily that …. he was
hating.
It was kind of a revenge that Amelia was practicing …
remembering him … how amazing she used to be in some of
the moments spent together.
Then she disappeared.
She acted as a ghost …
A ghost from his past … that was annoyed that Andrew stoped being dominated by her energies.
And the balance of his emotions appeared on and on and on
being prisoner again … then releasing himself from prison. A non ending story that revealed that love is not just about love … but also about ugly energies …. domination … and also many other dark sides that we carry inside our souls.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
75
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN
philosophical essays
Today … i stoped judging Amelia.
But i was laughing of how idiot Andrew could be … coming back into her arms … even if he knew the story … so damn well.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
76
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN
philosophical essays
Dolce far niente … a way of connecting to the Infinite
I spoke a lot in the last time with someone that is always telling me … when i ask how she is doing …. that she is just relaxing.
We joke … remembering about the concept … …. “Dolce far
niente” …. which is an italian saying … meaning …
“sweet doing nothing, sweet idleness”.
But everyday when i ask her … the same question … she is telling me the same thing.
And knowing that my friend has kind of a spiritual intelligence … i realized i need to think more about …. what is behind that fact.
Why someone like her … involved into so many things into the past … could decide one day … to stop doing anything at all?!
It’s weird.
I found it illogical.
Total nonsense.
Until one day when i realized … she already discovered by a long, long time that life itself is a prison with invisible walls. So … why should she bother to do anything at all … while being into a prison?!
But there was …. one more secret.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
77
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN philosophical essays
While relaxing …. she felt a joy … difficult to be defined.
It was something …. unbelievable.
Was something that was looking a lot with … the connection with the Infinite.
The moment of stillness … was creating a connection with all it exists … and the prison … and all the other borders … finally disappeared.
That moment of relaxation metamorphosed into something that … had an amazing value for her soul.
Dolce far niente … became a purpose for her life … even if all around her … found that a total nonsense … and were laughing … behind her back.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
78
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN
philosophical essays
Not loving ourselves … we end up seeing how so many around start disliking us … and we just can’t understand why
A guy goes to a guru … complaining to him … but also asking for help.
In few minutes Mark succeeded to explain all his recent life …
but instead of showing a certain type of compassion to him …
guru started to laugh.
Mark could not believe it.
“I’m sorry! Probably you misunderstood something. Why do you laugh of me?!” … Mark asks.
“My friend! I’m laughing …. of your naivety.
I’m sorry i can’t stop myself.
You said you read lots of books of philosophy and spirituality. I’m sure you heard the saying that … the life itself it’s actually a mirror of our souls.
For a reason … related with your past …. you don’t appreciate
yourself … and you also don’t love yourself.
This is the energy you send to the people … when you are surrounded by them.
Understanding the concept of reflection is maybe the …. cure
… for a better life.
When people met you … they first see your beautiful side … but connecting to them … you start sending another message … a contradictory one.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
79
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN philosophical essays
So … they somehow start to dislike you.
And you knew that thing … long before you came here.
You knew it … but you refused to believe it.
You need to accept … yourself.
To embrace everything related with your being …. and also
love yourself.
We come into this world … with a very clean soul … but later on … the world is breaking it into very small pieces.
The only medicine to fix ourselves again is just … using the power of love.
And first … of self love.
Might sound as a cliche … but it’s not.
Meditate … and soon you’ll find the new path to follow.” Mark smiled politely … and left the guru …. not even saying good bye.
He was not expecting to hear that.
Or maybe to be more precise … he hoped that he will hear something else.
Mark knew indeed this theory …. but theory is theory … and
real life is real life.
It was like he was living into a prison … where he had no access to … love.
And indeed guru was right … laughing.
He was laughing seeing Mark … keeping himself prisoner into a jail … where he was the guardian, but also the … prisoner.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
80
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN
philosophical essays
Relationships of any kind … should not involve any domination at all. Otherwise everything will be fucked up.
Many relationships start very well.
Some even … excellent, but what is funny is that if you should analyze many people that declare they are enemies … and understand deeply their relationship … you should understand first that before becoming enemies … they were friends.
And …. even close friends.
So why are things like that?!
What they liked at each other that they became friends ….
and what they disliked at each other so much that they
became enemies?!
Is this normal?!
Is this a nonsense?!
I’ve analyzed the cases from my own life …. and realized that
it was all related with the trend of domination. On my side.
And on the side of that person … which i defined … friend … but many times … also by my side.
Seeing how i fuck everything around myself … i changed the desire of domination …. with a shying try of influencing.
I stoped forcing anything at all.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
81
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN philosophical essays
And also realized that whenever i see the try of domination on the other side … i simple disconnect and disappear.
I prefer … open relationships… based on the respect for the other’s side entity.
I’ve started to be more opened.
I respect that … while traveling into this world … and experience things … and different stories … i’m going to meet other entities too.
People with good sides … but also people with bad sides. And when i say … respect … it’s all about accepting that i don’t need to see the spectrum of my own energies … all over.
Stopping the stupid desire of domination … became .. a must … for my new philosophy of life.
And i continued smiling in front of anyone that wants to dominate my soul.
I was smiling … and disappeared… in the next second … exactly like a ghost.
I did not wanted to become the prisoner of any unwanted energy …. but either to become the guardian of anyone. That should be … an useless life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
82
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN
philosophical essays
Sometimes it’s all about
sex … and it’s like taking a magic pill …
I chat with my friend Brian all the time about his love stories. There are a lot of essays i’ve wrote … related with his experiences … and i believe i did not made any mistake sharing those episodes to the public.
Many times i define with Brian … all those things from his life … as a therapy.
I’m actually teaching him the art of analyzing, defining and then redefining his own life.
Yesterday we’ve remembered about a love story which he had 10 years ago … and we’ve wondered why the hell … the whole story happened only and only into that hotel room from the city center.
All was amazing … but he still could not define properly if it was a story about love … or about sex.
He was married at that time … and she was married also … so going out … even walking together on the streets was difficult.
So … they continued for a long time … having a relationship only and only on the scene of that room.
And i remember that every time he was meeting her … it was like he was taking the magic pill of happiness.
Talking to Brian ... we’ve realized that not even after so much time …could not say for sure … if it was a good thing
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
83
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN philosophical essays
for him … or not.
But maybe he just needed to live that experience.
He needed a magic pill … and nothing more.
An analgesic to … treat his depression.
Or maybe we should define all … as an amazing trick …. so
that he can feel alive from time to time.
But … even if this was all he wanted from her …. their
relationship from the hotel room … she saw all as a prison cell.
She loved all what was going on between them … but being together just there … she felt prisoner of an amazing weird love story.
Later on … they ended the story … but …
After so many years … me and Brian could not define for clear that story … but this is life … and from time to time … we need kind of a magic pill as a … therapy.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
84
I WAS THE PRISONER … BUT ALSO THE GUARDIAN
philosophical essays
I don’t believe in domination.
I believe in synchronizing energies.
I wrote many books about love stories … and what i regret most is that i did not used … almost at all the word …. sex.
But i’ve spent a huge time analyzing and defining the connection between a man and a woman.
Unfortunately… it was all from my perspective … as a man. And even if i tried to connect to so many other ladies … that i had nothing to do with … i still did not understand the real … subject.
I see today all my writings … actually as a great help for the ladies that want to find out how a man thinks … but it’s 100
not the truth about relationships. In fact … not even close to that.
But i still feel myself dominated by my own ideas.
I still care of them … and maybe the real truth is that everything i do …. all the decisions i am taken are related with my perceptions.
And i am laughing seeing that in … everything means my life … i try to make all my best as reality to look like my perceptions.
