Well ... you can have an amazing house and be unhappy even if you stay in there with your wife and kids and everything might look perfect from outside.
Or you can have a simple house ... stay there with the soul mate and actually be the most happiest person from the whole world.
But i wonder myself, after discussing about this 2 scenarios ... what would you choose?!
The small house or the mansion?!
How do you keep the right balance between the needs of the soul and the desires you have as a human being, that are actually influenced by the philosophy and standards of other people?!
What is more important ... the soul ... or being at the standards?!
What path we should follow?!
Should we look for material greatness and want for us a fabulous house ... or pay attention only to the details that really make us happy?!
Well ... i know one thing for certain.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
24
INFLUENCING AND BEING INFLUENCED
... a non ending story
I saw over the years, even friends of mine, that were having amazing houses ... but where totally unhappy ... and i also saw couples in very simple house ... and they had an amazing relationship.
So ... is the beauty of the house influencing a lot our state of being?! Or is just a decision ... to be able to live in any kind of environment, but let yourself influenced only by the spiritual side of life.
We see reality in a certain way ... but we should pay more attention at what is really important in life.
So ... who is really defining the energetic field from your house ... the house itself ... or the people that are living in there?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
25
INFLUENCING AND BEING INFLUENCED
... a non ending story
Truth be told ... we’d love to control all the ones around us ... but we fail even controlling ourselves
Yesss ... we like ... most of us ... control reality.
And that means also control even the people from our lives.
But ... we name this ... influencing them.
Sounds quite motivational.
And we do it so often, that everything becomes a way of acting on the stage of life.
We expect as the others to respect the script we had created in our mind for the curent reality.
And ... the next second when the expectations are not really happening in the way we wanted them to be ... we just lose our temper.
We totally dislike we can’t influence in a real way ... not the present moment itself ... but long term events ... actions etc.
We still hope that if influencing reality did not worked ... we will still find a way in how our scenario will happen.
Don’t even think so much, when actually ... influencing ... is becoming in fact ... a real manipulation.
And we start to find ways of controlling everything and everybody, being obsessed about that.
But one day ... having a moment of mental clarity ... we actually have a shock.
We realize we can’t control ... not even ourselves.
Not even in simple things.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
26
INFLUENCING AND BEING INFLUENCED
... a non ending story
We are trapped in a cage ... where the things are happening just in a specific way ... the statistical one.
There is a clear statistic of how we act at the job, at home, when we are at a party, etc etc etc.
There is a clear definition for everything in our life and the predictability is actually describing the cage of statistical data where we live in.
But ... the Universe is still smiling at us ... and is giving us a clue. You realize that manipulating the others is not the key ... not even trying to influence them in any possible way.
Maybe the only real solution ... if we try to influence and also control someone ... is do it with ... us.
Mastering ourselves and forgetting about the obsession of controlling reality becomes in fact a better way of living the present moment.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
27
INFLUENCING AND BEING INFLUENCED
... a non ending story
Influencing reality ... versus ... embracing reality. Which one do you prefer?!
During this lifetime i had so many dreams and goals ... and l’ve been reading a lot about how i should accomplish them.
But it was quite funny ... in many occasions ... after the desire was accomplished... i had a moment of clarity and saw the stupidity of those desires.
I was working so much to influence the scene of my life ... till i got what i wanted, as in the end to see ... that i was only following a pathless path.
I was trying to influence and change my own life, not being satisfied with my condition from the present moment.
I thought that having the desire as part of my life ... will actually bring me the happiness.
But ... it was just a silly thought.
I’ve been studying the law of attraction ... and somehow i did not understood that i should pay a huge attention to what i really want for my life.
We all have desires ... but we don’t really know to filter them.
Some ... are not even our desires.
It’s just a reaction and actually a projection in our life ... of what we had seen to the others.
We’ve seen that in the real life ... on social media, in books or newspapers etc etc.
But the desire itself was not coming from inside of us.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
28
INFLUENCING AND BEING INFLUENCED
... a non ending story
We’ve been somehow influenced by the others and followed a path that was not meant for us.
At the end of the pathless path ... we realized we need to consult our soul ... and have a clear and honest conversation. “What do you really, really want?!
What can i do for you ... my dear soul ... to make you happy, cause i know that if you are happy ... i will also feel happy?!”
You see that the end of the pathless path goes ... to your soul.
It’s not that the reality is wrong ... and we should embrace it just as it is ... with not so, so many desires as we have nowadays.
A life influenced a little bit more by the inner self ... not by the Ego .. the one that is so connected to the standards of the modern society. So ... somehow we should decide of how we spend the energy we have for influencing reality ... or we just embrace reality ... and take the energy from there.
How should you influence the ocean ... when you are on the beach?! How should you influence ... but also why should you influence the forest?! ... when you are in the middle of it ... and hear the songs of the birds.
What do you do in those cases?!
You just embrace reality and enjoy it.
But what if you do the same in the daily life?! ... at the job, at school, at home ... just everywhere you are.
In the end it all becomes a decision of what you actually prefer.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
29
INFLUENCING AND BEING INFLUENCED
... a non ending story
If you construct something new using old elements it will be even more authentic
... but you need to keep
the right balance between old and new
I am passioned of houses.
In fact i love houses.
Houses are my life.
I once asked an architect how can we integrate a ruin into the architecture of a new building and she made me understand that using old elements will make the architecture even more authentic. But my next deep question to the beautiful architect was ... “Tell me ... my dear ... what about the “ruins” from our soul?! How do we integrate them in our lives?!”
She smiled ... cause she knew what i am talking about.
I showed her a photo with a ruin ... and suddenly she understood
everything about my soul.
The ruin itself ... was me.
I was trying to rebuild my soul.
I was doing huge efforts to influence the curent facts from the reality ... so that i can rebuild a new life.
I really wanted a change ... but there were so many things to be changed that i started to ask myself where should i start from?! Should i keep the ruins from my soul ... cause i had such a strong background with so, so many events?! It was a balance in my thinking.
Can we see life the way we see the architecture of a building?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
30
INFLUENCING AND BEING INFLUENCED
... a non ending story
Well ... how easy should be life ... if i could become the architect of my life?!
Plan, implement and influence all the events.
Should be fantastic.
But is it really possible?!
I was speaking with myself and the architect ... in my mind ... but could not find the answer.
Then ... i realized i just needed to continue life ... no matter what is really going on ... and not really care if i can influence or not reality.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
31
INFLUENCING AND BEING INFLUENCED
... a non ending story
“OMG! You look like a princess and i am looking for a fairy tale by years.
What shall we really do ... my dear?!”
She had the look of a princess.
It was almost too late for him to totally redefine his life, but he was still dreaming that life can be a fairy tale and in case this is not possible ... he could manage a parallel life with a beautiful princess. He actually believed that fairy tales can be real.
Not as simple fantasies, but as love stories ... camouflaged into ...
love affairs.
He was always agreeing with Freud that wrote a nice theory for all the ones that don’t agree with morality.
You see ... Freud was believing that rich people from the beginning of the civilization invested money in a new philosophy of life ... called morality.
They were the first sponsors of the religion ... the one that was trying to promote morality.
The meaning of morality was to protect the rich people ... their material goods ... their wives, their children ... their everything.
So the guy, having protection from his friend Freud ... was thinking of a new theory about how to become happy, if in fact we can’t really change in any way the real life.
He accepted ... not actually embracing ... but only accepted the real life just as it was.
He came up with the trick of a mistress in a parallel world. Believed that he can actually live in 2 energetic fields ... one that needs to be accepted for karmic reasons and one reality where he can
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
32
INFLUENCING AND BEING INFLUENCED
... a non ending story
feel alive.
A reality ... influenced by all his fantasies.
Was it moral?!
Well ... all the people around him were saying no .. but understood that karma was playing around with him ... sending the guy in a reality that looked like the perfect one ... but in fact there was no real happiness for him in there.
The only escape for him was just the decision to live in a fairy tale ... even if it is a parallel world story ... with a mistress ... and i believe that it’s too much to judge a person that is accepting reality ... daring in the same time about his dream of being happy.
I also believe that Freud was too abstract even for the nowadays society ... but to really understand life ... and in fact the human being ... we need to keep an opened mind all the time.
No boundaries.
The need of fairy tales ... can be found in all of us ... i mean all the courageous ones.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
33
INFLUENCING AND BEING INFLUENCED
... a non ending story
What if rejection is just a test?!
What if ... NO ... actually means ... YES?! How do we really manage the influence of our emotions in front of the rejection?
She looks at him and says ...
“You are just not my type of guy. I’m not feeling attracted by you!” He smiles and replies ... “Good bye!” “Bye” ... and she leaves.
I saw the scene with my eyes.
I could not believe it ... that she had the power to tell him that and could not understand his calmness.
But what i did not know was that the guy was working in sales for years.
He even did phone sales.
He was getting one client of 2 phone calls.
When someone was saying him ... “Fuck you!”, “Don’t want to hear
what you have to say!”, “Never dare to call me again!” etc etc etc ... he was smiling while replying ... “it was a real pleasure to speak with you, sir!”
So ... the rejection itself ... was accepted by him just as part of the script.
He knew that his statistics showed that the next phone call will be a new client.
He realized long time ago that the coin has 2 sides ... and accepted
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
34
INFLUENCING AND BEING INFLUENCED
... a non ending story
things just as they are.
His power of influencing was huge ... cause i knew him by such a long time.
Getting one client from 2 phone calls was a tremendous success. of
They met one time and she disliked that he left earlier ... and even if
he named him “egocentric” ... he realized that after telling her that
the whatsapp picture was not representing her ... she exchanged it
with a very beautiful one.
He influenced her ... so?!
So the question was ... what if ... NO ... actually means ... YES?! Knowing to deal with rejection, made him see the other side of the story.
Maybe she wants ... but is not ready yet ... or maybe she is just ...
afraid.
The influence on her with the whatsapp picture was happening in an unforced way ... so if an ... yes ... might appear ... she would probably reappear on the scene of their story ... by herself.
In a love story ... all the things ... even influencing the story to a certain direction ... must come without forcing anything at all.
He knew that if it’s actually an yes ... he likes her and he will embrace the answer and if it’s actually a no ... it’s just not a path to follow in life.
So ... just let everything come by itself.
Influencing reality is part of our behavior cause we actually want the things to happen in a certain way ... but you see ... love stories have a different algorithm.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
35
INFLUENCING AND BEING INFLUENCED
... a non ending story
There is no perfect circumstance
... or if it is one ... that’s your current reality
It happens i have a friend that i chat with him all the time about philosophy, but also about ... women.
He strongly believes that you can find the perfect lady ... only and only if you are part of a certain environment.
That means ... have a specific circle of friends, go in certain coffee shops ... or restaurants ... or clubs etc etc.
Basically he believes that you can meet the perfect woman ... just in certain circumstances.
