He explained me that people come from work and then they enter inside the house … never connecting one to another. But being busy … the both of us … we stoped seeing each other and i saw him again one year later. I go … and …
I’ve been totally surprised.
People were walking on the alleys.
Kids were playing together.
Some people were drinking coffee on the terrace …. and
some guys were enjoying a bottle of whiskey.
Hmm …
So … i’ve asked … “What the hell is going on here?! Now it all looks like in the scenario from your visualizations?! What did it changed?!”
After one year … it was all changed.
He smiles replying … “It all changed because the tenants changed.
There are other people than last year.
I’ve probably started to attract other type of people.”
But i’ve started to ask myself … was my friend pretending … telling me all that?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
32
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
I believe … no.
You see … probably sometimes … even if we connect very deep on a subject … and we visualize it very profoundly … it’s not manifested right away.
It’s a reality that we can’t connect for 100% … for reasons difficult to be understood.
And the manifestation … is delayed.
Sometimes a long, long time.
Maybe … we don’t really care of all those elements we are talking about.
We are … a little bit … too “technical” … and follow the process … without realizing we should add a little bit of … soul … into visualizing.
Compassion is probably the best way of connecting to a reality that it’s into our minds and dreams.
We should “think” with our heart too … not just with the brain.
Otherwise … maybe it’s all about … pretending … and the manifestations delay … a lot.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
33
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
I loved her a lot …. but i can’t
pretend anymore that i love her. It’s a weird paradox … and a real non sense … i know
Thomas is a businessman that i know by a long, long time.
Don’t know if i could say that he is my friend … but ….
sometimes we talk a lot.
We talk about life … philosophy … and of course about ladies.
Or maybe i should say … mostly about ladies.
Cause … truth be told, men over 40 … will talk to you a lot about philosophy of life throw the perception ….of a
connection between the feminine and masculine spirit. Thomas … same as me … is difficult to be understand. One year ago … he was madly in love of Josephine … and i could swear on God … that he would go even in Antartica for her … but today …
Well … i see them still together …. but i also see that he can’t
even pretend he loves her company.
I look at her …
I look at him …
…. and …
I wonder myself … how the hell one year ago he was so in love with her … and today … he almost disliked her company. Why this nonsense?!
Well … maybe he came to an age when he realizes that …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
34
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES philosophical essays
pretending is a way … of wasting his life … but still … why this
change of perceptions?!
Maybe they both … changed.
I see him …. more spiritual today.
And Josephine … more … chasing for beautiful vibes …. and
nothing more.
Somehow … one decided to go to the left and one decided to go to the right … and pretending they are still together … became a total nonsense.
The same damn pattern that you can see in so, so many relationships …. all around the world.
But life continues … even if we can or can’t pretend that we like it.
The result?!
Hmm … we keep saying on and on and on … that it’s a … nonsense.
We simple can’t accept change as part of life.
Can’t accept that … we have in life a common path …. but
just for a while.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
35
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Sometimes …. dancing into the mud
… it’s the only option we’ve got
Adaege is an actress i know from Nigeria.
Somehow …. she is always in love.
Every time we speak …. she tells me about a new love story.
The amazing part with social media it’s that i can find out about how real life is everywhere in the world.
But i am somehow amazed that life it’s the same for ordinary people …. in Nigeria, Belize …. or France.
Adaege simple love the …. energy of the beginning.
Many would define her into an unpolite way … but i understood by a long time that her life is defined by the pleasure of testing a new beginning… on and on and on. Few days ago she told me about … George … an american that came to Nigeria with humanitarian purposes. And … i saw my friend again … in love.
I smile seeing that.
And yes … i sometimes wonder if she pretends or she does it … for real.
Reading her latest post about love …telling us about how she and George were dancing into the mud from a street from a village close to Lagos … i start smiling.
She was giving us so, so many details that for a moment i thought i was reading a story about a dance between a price and a princess at a ballroom in Vienna.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
36
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES philosophical essays
But it was all happening into the rain …. in the mud from that
nigerian village.
So … what is in life the difference between a perfect case scenario … and the real scenario?!
Why is the Universe offers to some of us … the scene of a
beautiful ballroom in Vienna and to others … the scene with
the mud and the rain?!
Which option is better?!
Could we pretend that dancing into the rain is the same thing … as dancing into a ballroom from Vienna?!
Well … Adaege was happy … telling us about her story … about that amazing dance with George.
And connecting to her … i really felt her happy.
But i also remember an austrian movie with a prince and a princess that were dancing in the royal ballroom from the city center of Vienna … and they were so, so unhappy together. Maybe in life … it’s all about seeing the beauty of any scene … that the Universe is offering us.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
37
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Sometimes … what we dream into the night is revealing us things … that we totally forget about
I wake up and wonder myself … what the hell is the meaning of that dream?!
I usually don’t dream at all … or at least i don’t remember anything of what i am dreaming. This time was all so … intriguing.
Well … few months ago i had a tenant that did not paid the rent and the utilities … and also destroyed me the house into the interior.
I tried one million ways to get her out … and could not believe that i was dreaming that she was coming back. But it was even worst … in the dream.
I was polite with her … speaking friendly … and offered her a new property.
Well … even if she drove me crazy for months … we’ve acted into my dreams as close friends … happy to see each other again.
A total nonsense.
Was i pretending?!
Hmm … probably not.
Unfortunately for me … many times in life … i ignore the past.
It’s like i had a brainwashed brain and … i totally ignore … all it was past.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
38
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Why the hell …. I am doing that … it’s difficult to understand
but this is how i usually act … and the question was now … what was really the message of that dream?!
Well … meditating more … i realized that it all carried such an important idea … which i totally ignored.
I was actually pretending i was not seeing the truth. Few days ago …. I allowed again the connection with a person that was not a positive influence into my life. The damage from that time … was huge.
Now … i was pretending i did not remembered that … but the dream that was telling me again a story which i totally disliked.
I had indeed the handicap of forgetting the past … and also of forgetting the mistakes of people in the relationships we had.
I used to ignore the past … and i was doing it again. Was so silly of me to make the same mistake again … pretending i don’t remember the past … and all the negative implications of that connection.
I proved one more time … that i am so, so naive …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
39
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
I’ve started to not care of
.. anything around.
I can’t pretend anymore … and gave myself the freedom to show that on the scene of my life.
Today i believe that pretending … it’s useless.
I did that for years …. but don’t want to do it anymore.
And the ugly side of this decision is that people close to me … friends and familly members … started to see that i am totally disconnected of them.
I say .. ugly … but i simple don’t care … that it looks like that. I feel disconnected … and can’t pretend anymore that there is or there is not … any connection at all. I just can’t do it.
But it’s ok …
It’s all ok.
I like and accept this decision of mine of acting on the real scene of life … without pretending. And still …
It’s all hidden so … so … well …. under my smile …
I probably somehow … still create the illusion i’m connected by being present on the scene of my life near them … but my mind and soul … it’s not there anymore.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
40
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Karmic characters are so damn
annoying, but we simple can’t remove them from the scene of life.
And even if we succeed doing that …. in the
end … they will reappear in a new form. Pretending we don’t realize the karmic side of the story … will make the whole situation even … worst.
Karma is in my vision … a teacher that is telling us stories about the real values of life.
It is camouflage in lots of weird forms.
Sometimes it’s about a parent, sometimes a friend … or even worst … a friend that is becoming an enemy.
Analyzing my own life … not even bothering to read so many books about the subject … even if i love reading … i somehow realized that all that annoys have karmic values …. and i should meditate on them.
Probably half of the people from the scene of my life …. I
could clearly identify as karmic … even if i knew that … in fact … they were all karmic characters.
And … the time was revealing me that … even if i was pretending i don’t like or agree this theory.
Had moments when … i simple want to get rid if some people of my life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
41
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES philosophical essays
Some of them … disappeared.
But the real problem was … that somehow another people … acting the same way … replaced that person. And it happened on and on and on.
For example one day … a person with mental problems … started to ruin my life.
I got rid of him … only after he disappeared for 3 times. And when i finally cut my connection with that guy … a lady with much deeper mental problems appeared into my life. So … i was wondering … what was the fucking message?! What was karma … whispering me?!
Why the hell those people with mental problems appeared into my life?!
And why i was pretending that i don’t remember that … all i see on the scene of my own life it’s in fact a reflection of my inner self?!
What side of my soul … i had to cure?!
Why so many annoying people into my life?!
Why they kept appearing more and more?!
Why friends became enemies?!
Why so, so many karmic messages?!
But … why did i ignored them?!
Why i pretended i was not seeing that?!
Why did i wasted so much time … ignoring those messages that were repeating on and on and on?! How could i be so … so … idiot?!
Hmm …. I knew the theory … but totally ignored it on the
scene of my real life.
But karma … kept its calmness.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
42
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES philosophical essays
Kept whispering me messages … and i was living with the illusion that i can … ignore its presence ….
I was pretending …. I was … blind …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
43
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
I have such a large spectrum of perceptions … that i don’t even know anymore who …. I could say … i am …
I am writing my thoughts … defining in fact my life all the time … having actually the simple desire of healing the connection between me and my soul.
Most probably …. anyone who’s reading my books … realizing
the contradictory values of my thoughts … understands my opening to any perception.
I stoped pretending by a very long time that i have a certain philosophy of life.
If someone would ask me to define myself … i could not say who i really am.
But maybe it’s good …. I stopped pretending that i am … a
certain … profile.
I have a little bit of everything into my mind and my soul ….
and i could probably say that i am more a … spectrum of thoughts and feelings …. even if they are so damn … contradictory.
And … I’ve accepted the position i am now.
I even … like it.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
44
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
They all defined her as a
devil … but i loved her smile …. her vibe … her everything
I’m not reading anymore by a long time what people are writing on social media …
Even if i personally publish daily … my essays.
But few days ago … i saw a post with a picture of a lady … that was exactly the prototype i was looking for … by a long time.
I looked at the picture for few minutes … and realized i loved her smile … her vibe …. her everything.
Then …. suddenly… reading the post … i started to laugh.
Another lady had published the post … defining this person i liked … as an dishonest person … a liar … and even as a … bitch.
I could not believe what this nervous lady … was writing in social media.
It looked like Melinda …. the lady from the photo … a refugee
from Germany … had asked the help from the husband of this lady that wrote such a long, long story …. about her.
But even if she was defined in such a negative way … looking even that Melinda abused of the husband of the nervousness lady … my reply … was … a little bit abstract.
I looked again at the picture … and realized … i really liked her.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
45
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
So … why the hell … i don’t have the luck to be abused by a such a beautiful lady?!
Why should i pretend … i would dislike that?!
If i would ask my friends to read that post … they would start laughing … envying that gentleman …
I’ve been totally surprised.
People were walking on the alleys.
Kids were playing together.
Some people were drinking coffee on the terrace …. and
some guys were enjoying a bottle of whiskey.
Hmm …
So … i’ve asked … “What the hell is going on here?! Now it all looks like in the scenario from your visualizations?! What did it changed?!”
After one year … it was all changed.
He smiles replying … “It all changed because the tenants changed.
There are other people than last year.
I’ve probably started to attract other type of people.”
But i’ve started to ask myself … was my friend pretending … telling me all that?!
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
32
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
I believe … no.
You see … probably sometimes … even if we connect very deep on a subject … and we visualize it very profoundly … it’s not manifested right away.
It’s a reality that we can’t connect for 100% … for reasons difficult to be understood.
And the manifestation … is delayed.
Sometimes a long, long time.
Maybe … we don’t really care of all those elements we are talking about.
We are … a little bit … too “technical” … and follow the process … without realizing we should add a little bit of … soul … into visualizing.
Compassion is probably the best way of connecting to a reality that it’s into our minds and dreams.
We should “think” with our heart too … not just with the brain.
Otherwise … maybe it’s all about … pretending … and the manifestations delay … a lot.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
33
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
I loved her a lot …. but i can’t
pretend anymore that i love her. It’s a weird paradox … and a real non sense … i know
Thomas is a businessman that i know by a long, long time.
Don’t know if i could say that he is my friend … but ….
sometimes we talk a lot.
We talk about life … philosophy … and of course about ladies.
Or maybe i should say … mostly about ladies.
Cause … truth be told, men over 40 … will talk to you a lot about philosophy of life throw the perception ….of a
connection between the feminine and masculine spirit. Thomas … same as me … is difficult to be understand. One year ago … he was madly in love of Josephine … and i could swear on God … that he would go even in Antartica for her … but today …
Well … i see them still together …. but i also see that he can’t
even pretend he loves her company.
I look at her …
I look at him …
…. and …
I wonder myself … how the hell one year ago he was so in love with her … and today … he almost disliked her company. Why this nonsense?!
Well … maybe he came to an age when he realizes that …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
34
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES philosophical essays
pretending is a way … of wasting his life … but still … why this
change of perceptions?!
Maybe they both … changed.
I see him …. more spiritual today.
And Josephine … more … chasing for beautiful vibes …. and
nothing more.
Somehow … one decided to go to the left and one decided to go to the right … and pretending they are still together … became a total nonsense.
The same damn pattern that you can see in so, so many relationships …. all around the world.
But life continues … even if we can or can’t pretend that we like it.
The result?!
Hmm … we keep saying on and on and on … that it’s a … nonsense.
We simple can’t accept change as part of life.
Can’t accept that … we have in life a common path …. but
just for a while.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
35
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Sometimes …. dancing into the mud
… it’s the only option we’ve got
Adaege is an actress i know from Nigeria.
Somehow …. she is always in love.
Every time we speak …. she tells me about a new love story.
The amazing part with social media it’s that i can find out about how real life is everywhere in the world.
But i am somehow amazed that life it’s the same for ordinary people …. in Nigeria, Belize …. or France.
Adaege simple love the …. energy of the beginning.
Many would define her into an unpolite way … but i understood by a long time that her life is defined by the pleasure of testing a new beginning… on and on and on. Few days ago she told me about … George … an american that came to Nigeria with humanitarian purposes. And … i saw my friend again … in love.
I smile seeing that.
And yes … i sometimes wonder if she pretends or she does it … for real.
Reading her latest post about love …telling us about how she and George were dancing into the mud from a street from a village close to Lagos … i start smiling.
She was giving us so, so many details that for a moment i thought i was reading a story about a dance between a price and a princess at a ballroom in Vienna.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
36
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES philosophical essays
But it was all happening into the rain …. in the mud from that
nigerian village.
So … what is in life the difference between a perfect case scenario … and the real scenario?!
Why is the Universe offers to some of us … the scene of a
beautiful ballroom in Vienna and to others … the scene with
the mud and the rain?!
Which option is better?!
Could we pretend that dancing into the rain is the same thing … as dancing into a ballroom from Vienna?!
Well … Adaege was happy … telling us about her story … about that amazing dance with George.
And connecting to her … i really felt her happy.
But i also remember an austrian movie with a prince and a princess that were dancing in the royal ballroom from the city center of Vienna … and they were so, so unhappy together. Maybe in life … it’s all about seeing the beauty of any scene … that the Universe is offering us.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
37
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Sometimes … what we dream into the night is revealing us things … that we totally forget about
I wake up and wonder myself … what the hell is the meaning of that dream?!
I usually don’t dream at all … or at least i don’t remember anything of what i am dreaming. This time was all so … intriguing.
Well … few months ago i had a tenant that did not paid the rent and the utilities … and also destroyed me the house into the interior.
I tried one million ways to get her out … and could not believe that i was dreaming that she was coming back. But it was even worst … in the dream.
I was polite with her … speaking friendly … and offered her a new property.
Well … even if she drove me crazy for months … we’ve acted into my dreams as close friends … happy to see each other again.
A total nonsense.
Was i pretending?!
Hmm … probably not.
Unfortunately for me … many times in life … i ignore the past.
It’s like i had a brainwashed brain and … i totally ignore … all it was past.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
38
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Why the hell …. I am doing that … it’s difficult to understand
but this is how i usually act … and the question was now … what was really the message of that dream?!
Well … meditating more … i realized that it all carried such an important idea … which i totally ignored.
I was actually pretending i was not seeing the truth. Few days ago …. I allowed again the connection with a person that was not a positive influence into my life. The damage from that time … was huge.
Now … i was pretending i did not remembered that … but the dream that was telling me again a story which i totally disliked.
I had indeed the handicap of forgetting the past … and also of forgetting the mistakes of people in the relationships we had.
I used to ignore the past … and i was doing it again. Was so silly of me to make the same mistake again … pretending i don’t remember the past … and all the negative implications of that connection.
I proved one more time … that i am so, so naive …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
39
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
I’ve started to not care of
.. anything around.
I can’t pretend anymore … and gave myself the freedom to show that on the scene of my life.
Today i believe that pretending … it’s useless.
I did that for years …. but don’t want to do it anymore.
And the ugly side of this decision is that people close to me … friends and familly members … started to see that i am totally disconnected of them.
I say .. ugly … but i simple don’t care … that it looks like that. I feel disconnected … and can’t pretend anymore that there is or there is not … any connection at all. I just can’t do it.
But it’s ok …
It’s all ok.
I like and accept this decision of mine of acting on the real scene of life … without pretending. And still …
It’s all hidden so … so … well …. under my smile …
I probably somehow … still create the illusion i’m connected by being present on the scene of my life near them … but my mind and soul … it’s not there anymore.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
40
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
Karmic characters are so damn
annoying, but we simple can’t remove them from the scene of life.
And even if we succeed doing that …. in the
end … they will reappear in a new form. Pretending we don’t realize the karmic side of the story … will make the whole situation even … worst.
Karma is in my vision … a teacher that is telling us stories about the real values of life.
It is camouflage in lots of weird forms.
Sometimes it’s about a parent, sometimes a friend … or even worst … a friend that is becoming an enemy.
Analyzing my own life … not even bothering to read so many books about the subject … even if i love reading … i somehow realized that all that annoys have karmic values …. and i should meditate on them.
Probably half of the people from the scene of my life …. I
could clearly identify as karmic … even if i knew that … in fact … they were all karmic characters.
And … the time was revealing me that … even if i was pretending i don’t like or agree this theory.
Had moments when … i simple want to get rid if some people of my life.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
41
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES philosophical essays
Some of them … disappeared.
But the real problem was … that somehow another people … acting the same way … replaced that person. And it happened on and on and on.
For example one day … a person with mental problems … started to ruin my life.
I got rid of him … only after he disappeared for 3 times. And when i finally cut my connection with that guy … a lady with much deeper mental problems appeared into my life. So … i was wondering … what was the fucking message?! What was karma … whispering me?!
Why the hell those people with mental problems appeared into my life?!
And why i was pretending that i don’t remember that … all i see on the scene of my own life it’s in fact a reflection of my inner self?!
What side of my soul … i had to cure?!
Why so many annoying people into my life?!
Why they kept appearing more and more?!
Why friends became enemies?!
Why so, so many karmic messages?!
But … why did i ignored them?!
Why i pretended i was not seeing that?!
Why did i wasted so much time … ignoring those messages that were repeating on and on and on?! How could i be so … so … idiot?!
Hmm …. I knew the theory … but totally ignored it on the
scene of my real life.
But karma … kept its calmness.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
42
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES philosophical essays
Kept whispering me messages … and i was living with the illusion that i can … ignore its presence ….
I was pretending …. I was … blind …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
43
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
I have such a large spectrum of perceptions … that i don’t even know anymore who …. I could say … i am …
I am writing my thoughts … defining in fact my life all the time … having actually the simple desire of healing the connection between me and my soul.
Most probably …. anyone who’s reading my books … realizing
the contradictory values of my thoughts … understands my opening to any perception.
I stoped pretending by a very long time that i have a certain philosophy of life.
If someone would ask me to define myself … i could not say who i really am.
But maybe it’s good …. I stopped pretending that i am … a
certain … profile.
I have a little bit of everything into my mind and my soul ….
and i could probably say that i am more a … spectrum of thoughts and feelings …. even if they are so damn … contradictory.
And … I’ve accepted the position i am now.
I even … like it.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
44
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
They all defined her as a
devil … but i loved her smile …. her vibe … her everything
I’m not reading anymore by a long time what people are writing on social media …
Even if i personally publish daily … my essays.
But few days ago … i saw a post with a picture of a lady … that was exactly the prototype i was looking for … by a long time.
I looked at the picture for few minutes … and realized i loved her smile … her vibe …. her everything.
Then …. suddenly… reading the post … i started to laugh.
Another lady had published the post … defining this person i liked … as an dishonest person … a liar … and even as a … bitch.
I could not believe what this nervous lady … was writing in social media.
It looked like Melinda …. the lady from the photo … a refugee
from Germany … had asked the help from the husband of this lady that wrote such a long, long story …. about her.
But even if she was defined in such a negative way … looking even that Melinda abused of the husband of the nervousness lady … my reply … was … a little bit abstract.
I looked again at the picture … and realized … i really liked her.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
45
PRETENDING … A WAY OF WASTING OUR LIVES
philosophical essays
So … why the hell … i don’t have the luck to be abused by a such a beautiful lady?!
Why should i pretend … i would dislike that?!
If i would ask my friends to read that post … they would start laughing … envying that gentleman …
