Well … even if i studied a lot philosophy and spirituality ….
and i know for 100% that most of the things i do in life are just illusory … i still chase for … money. In fact …for lots of money.
My friend … has a similar trend …. but he focused more on
lots of …. ladies.
And i get … the money.
My friend got also … lots of ladies into his life … but ….
Recently he mentioned me a lot of times that … i look a little bit sad … but i was not … sad.
I was just … disappointed… by the people from the timeline of my own life.
I got all the money i chased for … but … all that came with all sorts of things which i disliked.
The price i had to pay for the money …. was huge.
and it was so damn funny that i did not realized that in 25 years.
I accepted disappointment … probably … as part of the
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process.
But i made a huge mistake … i got too attached of everything.
I could not be detached … even if i saw the detachment of my friend …. playing around with so, so many ladies.
Analyzing and comparing myself with him …. I realized that i
never see him … disappointed… even if i know for 100% that he has also reasons to be like that.
He maybe understood long before me that disappointment is … just useless.
That we should just enjoy the journey …. and never judge
the people we meet in life.
But … i was taking things too seriously.
I could not see … the abstract message behind everything was happening into my life.
That it was all just an illusion … and i had to smile in front of it and nothing more.
Disappointment … was a ridiculous reaction … by my side.
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“Something sweet for the nerves?!”
“Well …. yes … “
Brian was really stressed those days.
If you’d ask me why … i believe it’s difficult to understand him … cause he’s the profile that has absolutely everything he asked from life.
A nice wife, amazing kids, a beautiful house, a business that is running very well etc etc.
In fact … it’s really impossible to understand him. And he continues to say that he is nervous, stressed, annoyed … and never satisfied by his life.
Talking with Paul … gossiping a little bit … we realized that the Universe gave to Brian so many things … except something sweet for his soul.
I was really laughing with Paul … understanding the fact that even when we have absolutely everything … it looks all the time that a piece from the puzzle is missing … and we cannot be really happy …
Me and Paul were laughing … cause we know that something sweet for any guy over 40 … would be … an amazing lady … that carries a great vibe.
Yes … truth be told … we always have a different perception about … happiness.
The candies of a child …. metamorphose … later on … into
money, women …. success etc.
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All the time … something new.
But of course … we need something to calm our … nerves … cause price paid for that so called perfect life … ruined that side of us … completely.
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Saying … “No! … not anymore!” …. It’s
probably an art …. that nobody
bothered to tell us about
One of the my main problems in life is that i never say … “No” … to anyone.
I try to help everyone … but also started to ask myself … is this about help …. or i am just abused of the people from the scene of my life?!
Last night had an interesting experience.
A new friend of mine … had to catch a train to another country … and in the last moment … even if it was very late in the night … he asked me … if i can take him to the train station.
I could say no … cause i had to return to my family … and i was really tired …. but i decided to … help him.
On the way to the train station …. i ask him … “What
happened … you could not find a taxi?!”
He smiled … looked at his wife … and replied … “No! We found taxi … but it was too expensive”. I smiled …
Of course … i was a free taxi … cause i was a friend.
I was probably on the episode number 100 … of feeling a little bit abused …
But … i found the inner strength to smile in front of all that …
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What else could i do?!
My new friend abused of me in the middle of the night to take him at the train …. cause taxi was 30 dollars …. and considered it expensive.
So … a free taxi … was a blessing.
Hahahaha
The Universe was laughing behind my back … putting me in such situations … and there was nothing to do than … smile. But how could i smile … when those situations were repeating on and on and on?!
On the way back home … i was meditating.
Again …
I almost started to believe that … meditating … was … useless.
But a question came into my mind … what if this friend of mine did not had money for the taxi?!
He mentioned me few days ago that he is not working by
almost a year … so …
Damn it …
How could i keep the right balance between helping people … and …. not being abuse by them?!
Why those situations were repeated to me?!
Was it a test?!
It all look so damn illusory … but happening on and on and on … it was all so contradictory to me.
Maybe i had to learn to connect better to people …. and
realize when i am really necessary … as help …
And tell to people … frankly … my decision … based on my intuition.
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There is an enemy around..... Maybe not a literal
enemy..... Something that is eating up your inner
peace of mind....something that you need to deal
with.....before it's too late.
Try to put yourself in a trance to find the answer....the
answer or lesson so very simple and that's why you can't see it with your bare eyes. You will awake one day and the answer / lesson etc will be very clear.
Nolene Sheppard
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Karma is about meeting again
and again and again … the ghosts from your past
Nikolai is a new friend of mine from Saint Petersburg.
I had the chance to spend lots of time with him recently … talking about our lives, but also the philosophy behind everything happens beyond reality.
But you see … today Nikolai is suffering … a drama, but even if both of us talked a lot about the karmic factors from our lives …. we could not realize the reason of this … drama.
He tried to be really honest … but still … all it was so … illogical.
A total …. nonsense … i should say.
I knew that someone that had stolen money … will end up in a story when someone else will steal his money …. someone
that is cheating, will end up in a story where everyone around him will cheat him etc etc.
We both knew … the karmic principles … but i smiled realizing that we could not see the reasons why his reality looked like a … drama.
I took the freedom to smile in front of this situation … even if Nikolai was experiencing such difficult times … cause deep inside me i really knew that all was happening was so … illusory.
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I will not even bother to tell you the story … as i am not such a great story teller, but … i want to discuss only and only about … the karmic principles of life.
And maybe Nikolai was hiding me something.
Or maybe … it was all related with a previous life … and it all looked being like a total nonsense as his life to be such a …. drama.
I could go deeper and deeper … but neither me or my friend could not accept the fact that a previous life could influence in such a way … our actual realities.
We were both philosophers …. but also loved spirituality.
But … still … could not go so deep.
We were still that kind of profile that knows a lot about life ….
but when it came about our lives we were not so … opened mind to realize that we have to understand some very profound life lessons.
Closing my eyes … meditating deeper and deeper … trying to understand the nonsense … i realized that Nikolai is a reflection of me.
I had kind of my own drama … living a life full filled with all sorts of weird events … and the presence of my friend on the scene of my life, was a message for me also.
So … why the hell karma was playing around with us?!
Why it was doing that on and on and on?!
Is … what we consider … drama … an illusion?!
Or maybe something to remind us about the past?!
Kind of a meeting with the ghosts that are coming back from
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past … reminding us about very, very important life lessons … that we ignored …. and totally forgot.
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Karma will redefine you … no matter who you really are
Truth be told karmic moments are annoying.
Really, really annoying and too difficult to accept them … but we all know that they carry a very powerful message.
They are repeated to us into a weird form …. on and on and
on … and still …we don’t accept the concept that behind everything happens there is always someone that is whispering us something.
Today i smile hearing different situations … that looks totally unacceptable… but i see its karmic side. I also understand its importance.
I probably act different than the others cause i already accepted the fact that i should look beyond what i see. Karma still not redefined my real being … but succeeded to redefine my perceptions.
I see everything different today.
I don’t like those karmic moments …. but i accept and
embrace them.
See that as part of my spiritual evolution.
And most probably i need to continue this evolution … and go at the next level of letting my whole being be redefined. See a message in all the nonsenses around myself …
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Allow karma be that teacher that is telling me a lot about the way i should act on the scene of life ….
But what is funny … and we never realize it is that this is … not an option.
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Our deep fears make us have a mind fulfilled with lots of ugly scenarios. And we start to think as a great film director … specialized in … horror movies.
Imagine a life lived without fears.
Imagine to not be afraid of anything …. anymore.
Well … i personally say all the time that i will act at least a little bit fearless … but … i fail all the time. I still have many fears.
Maybe … too many.
And i act so … so … silly.
But what it’s funny is that i always understand the importance of this principles when i see … analyze … and define the life for others.
For example i smile seeing the jealousy of my dear friend John.
He has a wife … 15 years younger as him.
And even if John is a handsome guy, quite successful… and always focused of satisfying his wife … i see his deep fear as someone to come and … steal his wife.
I also look at Svitlana and i see her … being a little bit stressed and annoyed of this jealousy … but also confident that their life together will continue…
So … how could John stop being so jealous?!
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Why he does not understand that all these ugly scenarios from his mind … that his wife will find someone else and leave him … must simple … stop?! Why this stupid way of acting?!
Why he can’t eliminate this fear?!
Why John is not understanding that if something bad has to happen … it will happen anyway.
A relationship between a man and a woman … is based on the connection itself … and not on the fear of losing that connection.
But the horror movie … continue in John’s mind.
His wife … laughing … is sometimes defining him as a film director … and i agree with her … but maybe John should analyze more his deep fears … and get rid of them.
Jealousy is indeed about the fear of losing our partners … but we always forget that no one can break a real connection between a man and a woman … if that connection is real.
Or who knows … maybe karma could interfere … but we should not be afraid of it.
Today i believe more and more that if something bad has to happen it will happen anyway …. so … why should be afraid of faith?!
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There are moments in life
when we need someone to remind us …
keep the right … vibe
It happens i know a guy obsessed about the art of admiring the …. feminine spirit.
He connected with hundreds of ladies over the years … and is still connected with many of them.
But … the funny thing with my friend is that he somehow started to like to be connected with … all of them.
I found for many years this Casanova’s style … a total nonsense … but analyzing more and more with him the subject … i realized it’s more about having in your life someone that reminds you all the time to keep a very, very good vibe.
So .. after judging my friend Carl …. and define him all the
time as a Casanova … i redefined my perceptions … realizing that i’d also love to have someone that could remind me all the time the importance of a great vibe into my life. But guess what?!
Even if Carl is connected with so, so many ladies …. and i
somehow started to understand the importance of knowing this art of admiring beautiful souls … neither me or him ….
are not … or at least not yet … in such connection. Maybe is something … karmic … and we lose our time …
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analyzing so, so many ladies …
I am sure … many will judge us .. same as i judged Carl … but what’s wrong about chasing to have in our lives something that will increase .. or at least give us the illusion of increasing … the vibe?!
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We can get rid of any toxic element from our lives … only by taking a decision.
I see many people around myself having miserable lives.
And sometimes …. i see that at myself too.
Being obsessed of why the hell the scenario of my reality is not chancing at all … i asked myself … what do i do wrong?! What really makes me …. and many others … define our lives as … horrible?!
