But he finally understood ... and accept it.
Part of his soul was still thinking of her ... but he agreed as ignorance to dominate again his soul. It was much easier to survive as that.
... and life continued in a silly way!
Adrian G Dumitru
32
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
Beyond the words
... we find the soul
I was looking for my words ... and I found them.
But I found it useless.
I was looking for something else ... much deeper, but I didn't know what.
And i've been looking for so long.
It's been 10 years, then 20 ... then 30 ... and finally 40 years.
I felt that I had found what was missing, but until one day when I became speechless, stopping this useless search. It was a little late.
I wish I had been speechless long before.
I was face to face with my soul, and indeed that endless chain of words had evaporated.
Maybe I knew what to do ... because I had thought a lot about this meeting, but suddenly ... we just preferred to look at each other.
It was me and my soul.
We analyzed everything ... and we hoped to accept each other.
I knew that this key that opens the door between us, will make me anxious ... but I simply continued to smile and be
Adrian G Dumitru
33
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
present.
But i found it difficult to accept the meeting.
I felt uncomfortable ... as if I had met a stranger ... which is very hard to explain.
I had read so bitterly for so long ... so much about the soul ... and yet today I was reacting very badly.
The words ... all ... had disappeared from my vocabulary.
But still ... I was still there.
We looked at each other in amazement.
It was the most important meeting ... but I didn't know how to react.
Apparently I was failing ... and I was sad, but my soul still gives me respite.
He whispers to me that there is no need for words between us.
We understand each other without the help of words ...
because we felt each other.
I had the strength to smile and continued this inner journey, on which I seem to know and do not know what to do.
But i was keep going ... a little more confident, and for a moment understood that beyond words is the soul ... my lost soul.
Adrian G Dumitru
34
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
A new day is actually
... a new chance
We wake up and it is so important to understand that the first thing we need to do is exclusively tune in to a beautiful frequency.
And we know it very, very well.
We just have to be happy and embrace the day, waiting for the most beautiful things to happen today.
It sounds like a cliche ... but it's a simple theory that could be implemented ... if we really decided that.
But we fail to understand the magic of life, because everything is extremely simple ... namely ... we tune in to a beautiful frequency ... we attract beautiful things to us.
But we prefer, even though we know the theory is true ... to do nothing ... than to submit to the day ... for better or worse ... exactly as it comes.
So we know the trick of a beautiful life ... everything starting from the simple choice of joy in the first moment we wake up ... but we do nothing.
It seems more like magic, and we believe in anything but the magic of life.
We are afraid of the word ... magic.
The good part is that the night resets everything ... both
Adrian G Dumitru
35
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
good and bad, and the next day we are always asked what we choose.
And we ... with fear and naivety ... again ... we don't choose anything.
We simply let the universe decide what it will be ... even though we have been asked.
Yes ... we choose to live in fear, instead of living with joy and happiness in our souls, and when they appear randomly in our hearts, we actually live in fear that we will lose them. And life goes on ... in a totally unknown direction, but it's weird because we know the path we should take ... but we prefer fear to the joy of living.
.... and the nonsense that is defining so well our lives ...
continues!
Adrian G Dumitru
36
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
“There is no grave bigger
than the heart ...
We bury a feeling here every day”
(Arij Emaan)
We want lots of things in life.
Many of them are ... silly things, but some of them are important ... for our existence.
Because of too many moments of losing the hope .... we try
to forget all those desires that we can’t have for real.
In fact we hide them ... deep, deep inside of the soul ... till we really forget about them.
The heart becomes the grave of all those desires and feelings.
And one day ... we realize we don’t want anymore to hear about the heart.
Too many unaccomplished things ... that make us sad.
Life continues ... not having the heart with us anymore ... but a weird feeling that something extremely important is missing ... is there all the time.
We live ... being afraid of that ... grave.
Opening it ... would actually ruin us emotionally in only one second.
Adrian G Dumitru
37
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
And ... a new feeling is buried in there everyday ... without asking ourselves until when?!
That grave defines in fact ... the entire life, but again ... we ignore that.
Ignorance somehow saved us ... but the grave remains in there, remembering us the past.
And one day, feeling lost we ask the heart ... what should we do?!
The heart, connected to the soul ... smiles ... and show us all those feelings from the grave ... pointing to all of them in the same time.
There is no need of saying anything else.
The message is simple ... don’t bury the feelings anymore ...
but accept and embrace them, cause they are part of your being.
And we knew it by such a long time ... and still prefer to stand, watch and do ... nothing.
The heart is remaining ... just a grave and nothing more ... cause we don’t know how to really act on the stage of our own lives.
Adrian G Dumitru
38
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
“There is nothing
Happening ...
According to our plans ...”
(Arij Emaan)
There is a nice saying .... “Sometimes the Universe is
laughing of our desires” ... which i always remember when it comes about analyzing my desires and plans.
And i also remember about all my wealthy friends that worked a lot for their financial freedom, hoping that one day they will be so rich that all they will have to do is just enjoy life.
But ... guess what?!
One died.
One divorced.
One had discovered he has cancer.
One ... started to suffer of depression.
One ... lost everything, just before retiring.
And one ... who is a dear friend in fact, invested all his
money into properties, that he rented ... hoping that he will
live a relaxing life.
But guess what?!
Adrian G Dumitru
39
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
The tenants were not paying in time, were leaving letting a total mess in the houses, were calling him all the time with all kinds of requests etc etc.
You could name his new life however you would like to name it ... but if that was financial freedom, being a rentier ...
most probably no one would have this silly dream ... because his life became a nightmare.
You see ... all those guys i know, that worked so damm much for financial freedom ... did not know the art of asking properly to the Universe ... what they wanted.
All we actually have to do ... is ... just connect to the Universe ... and ask for harmony and happiness ... without any other plans.
But we feel the need to become co-creators ... and we never speak with the inner self, which is actually the gateway to the Supreme Divine Being ... believing we know better what we should do in life.
In the end ... the Universe smiles ... then laughs of our plans ... cause we do not understand the concept of destiny and its meaning.
Or even worst ... we understand it ... but we believe our judgement is much better as the Universe thought should be our path in life.
There is nothing happening according to our plans ... but exploring life ... in the end ... we realize it and all we could do ... most probably should be just dream at the proper connection with the Infinite.
Adrian G Dumitru
40
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
Do we really need absolute symbols?! The balance between old style and new style of our thoughts.
Chatting with a dear friend from Pakistan, i had found out that people from there still care about the absolute meaning of the marriage.
In fact a man and a woman is not even touching their hands before marriage ... which for someone from Europe might sound ... as weird.
But thinking about the subject ... i realized that 100 years ago it was the same in Europe.
Things changed in time ... and even if marriage is still important all over the world ... it lost its absolute values. People would love to have it in the old style, but is treating marriage in a totally new style, which in fact lets us adapt so easily to what we call ... divorce.
And the question is ... do we really need absolute symbols in our lives?!
Was it better 100 years ago?!
What had we actually lost?!
Is it anything we can fix in the modern society?!
Well ... we believed in the freedom of our thoughts, in the
Adrian G Dumitru
41
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
liberty of our actions, in the desire of experiencing the world ... but in the end we lost the ... absolute. Marriage is not anymore an absolute symbol. It’s just a symbol.
Friendship also.
Those things had an absolute value and would never be
betrayed ... but the concept got lost on the timeline of the
last 100 years.
The result?!
Well ... we lost the absolute ... without realizing, but is even worst ... cause we look at the values of people from Pakistan ... or our own values from 100 years ago ... as weird.
There are lots of questions in our minds ... a real balance between the old and the new style of thinking ... but maybe there is still a path for keeping real values in life.
We know it ... but probably we just ignore that, because we love and hate in the same time what we name ... betrayal ... and our addiction for it.
Adrian G Dumitru
42
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
We just don’t have the ability of
interacting with people from our lives
... not caring about our interests
Let’s say your child or parent is asking you a favor ... and once you say yes, you will probably take care of everything without expecting anything in return.
But ... let’s say you meet a stranger that is asking you a favor ... even if that person does not know you at all. Maybe for him ... that favor is very, very important ... but you find no real reason to help that person. Why should you bother?!
According to the nowadays standards should be probably ...
a total nonsense to lose your time and energy to help someone you don’t know with a favor.
Or ... also according to the standards ... you should do it, but only and only for getting a favor back.
So ... the real question is why we actually have this ability and also disability of helping the people that appears on the timeline of our lives?!
Why we can help someone is closed to us ... but we can’t help the others?!
How could we change our lives in such a way ... that we would actually not care of our interests?!
Adrian G Dumitru
43
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
Is that really possible?!
Well ... first we just need to understand that we should connect with all the people from our lives, even if that sounds as a real lottery.
Connect to them and feel the connection as the one with the close people from your life.
Give them trust ... even if you don’t know them.
Care about their lives ... even if you don’t really know their story.
Try to be one with all the human beings from the timeline of your life.
Too utopian?!
Well ... probably yes.
But the same concept could be applied to us, if all people would believe in it ... and the whole world should become a better place and not just a silly environment dominated just by our silly daily interests.
Adrian G Dumitru
44
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
There is no betrayal ... is just that you didn’t see clearly the reality in certain moments
When we find out about a situation when we feel betrayed ...
we get really mad.
We can’t even sleep in the right.
The thoughts ... overwhelm us.
We start to be destroyed inside of us ... by all the negative emotions, but also reactions.
There is almost no way of saying ... “It’s ok! Maybe is just a life lesson ... and i had to deal with it!”
... but you know that betrayal is just a life lesson.
You know it ... but can’t deal in any way with all that you feel inside of you.
You feel ... ruined inside of you and realize that you was in a reality that you could not see clearly.
... you cannot believe it ... but now you see it so clear ... but still cannot believe it.
And the real question is ... is it the Ego that is so hurt by the betrayal .... or the soul?!
Why did the soul could not feel a thing all this time when you were in that scene ... with all those people that betrayed you?!
Adrian G Dumitru
45
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
What happened with your intuition?!
Why you was so damm blind?
Well ... let me tell you my theory ... cause same as you i was experiencing betrayal many times in life.
I felt ruined inside of myself, but it was the Ego that it was so damaged ... cause i was not connected with the soul anymore.
I actually forgot about my soul and my intuition, caring only and only by what the Ego liked.
And i paid the price ... and sometimes a huge one ... because i preferred to stay connected with the silly Ego ... and not by my soul.
But the Ego ... was blind and probably there is no betrayal ... is just that i didn’t see clearly the reality in certain moments. Today ... i try to remember daily about my inner world and connect to everything is related to it, cause i know this way i will have the protection given by ... my intuition, which is actually my connection with the Infinite.
... and try to not forget that anymore ... cause the Ego is very powerful in so many moments and will make me blind again.
Part of his soul was still thinking of her ... but he agreed as ignorance to dominate again his soul. It was much easier to survive as that.
... and life continued in a silly way!
Adrian G Dumitru
32
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
Beyond the words
... we find the soul
I was looking for my words ... and I found them.
But I found it useless.
I was looking for something else ... much deeper, but I didn't know what.
And i've been looking for so long.
It's been 10 years, then 20 ... then 30 ... and finally 40 years.
I felt that I had found what was missing, but until one day when I became speechless, stopping this useless search. It was a little late.
I wish I had been speechless long before.
I was face to face with my soul, and indeed that endless chain of words had evaporated.
Maybe I knew what to do ... because I had thought a lot about this meeting, but suddenly ... we just preferred to look at each other.
It was me and my soul.
We analyzed everything ... and we hoped to accept each other.
I knew that this key that opens the door between us, will make me anxious ... but I simply continued to smile and be
Adrian G Dumitru
33
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
present.
But i found it difficult to accept the meeting.
I felt uncomfortable ... as if I had met a stranger ... which is very hard to explain.
I had read so bitterly for so long ... so much about the soul ... and yet today I was reacting very badly.
The words ... all ... had disappeared from my vocabulary.
But still ... I was still there.
We looked at each other in amazement.
It was the most important meeting ... but I didn't know how to react.
Apparently I was failing ... and I was sad, but my soul still gives me respite.
He whispers to me that there is no need for words between us.
We understand each other without the help of words ...
because we felt each other.
I had the strength to smile and continued this inner journey, on which I seem to know and do not know what to do.
But i was keep going ... a little more confident, and for a moment understood that beyond words is the soul ... my lost soul.
Adrian G Dumitru
34
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
A new day is actually
... a new chance
We wake up and it is so important to understand that the first thing we need to do is exclusively tune in to a beautiful frequency.
And we know it very, very well.
We just have to be happy and embrace the day, waiting for the most beautiful things to happen today.
It sounds like a cliche ... but it's a simple theory that could be implemented ... if we really decided that.
But we fail to understand the magic of life, because everything is extremely simple ... namely ... we tune in to a beautiful frequency ... we attract beautiful things to us.
But we prefer, even though we know the theory is true ... to do nothing ... than to submit to the day ... for better or worse ... exactly as it comes.
So we know the trick of a beautiful life ... everything starting from the simple choice of joy in the first moment we wake up ... but we do nothing.
It seems more like magic, and we believe in anything but the magic of life.
We are afraid of the word ... magic.
The good part is that the night resets everything ... both
Adrian G Dumitru
35
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
good and bad, and the next day we are always asked what we choose.
And we ... with fear and naivety ... again ... we don't choose anything.
We simply let the universe decide what it will be ... even though we have been asked.
Yes ... we choose to live in fear, instead of living with joy and happiness in our souls, and when they appear randomly in our hearts, we actually live in fear that we will lose them. And life goes on ... in a totally unknown direction, but it's weird because we know the path we should take ... but we prefer fear to the joy of living.
.... and the nonsense that is defining so well our lives ...
continues!
Adrian G Dumitru
36
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
“There is no grave bigger
than the heart ...
We bury a feeling here every day”
(Arij Emaan)
We want lots of things in life.
Many of them are ... silly things, but some of them are important ... for our existence.
Because of too many moments of losing the hope .... we try
to forget all those desires that we can’t have for real.
In fact we hide them ... deep, deep inside of the soul ... till we really forget about them.
The heart becomes the grave of all those desires and feelings.
And one day ... we realize we don’t want anymore to hear about the heart.
Too many unaccomplished things ... that make us sad.
Life continues ... not having the heart with us anymore ... but a weird feeling that something extremely important is missing ... is there all the time.
We live ... being afraid of that ... grave.
Opening it ... would actually ruin us emotionally in only one second.
Adrian G Dumitru
37
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
And ... a new feeling is buried in there everyday ... without asking ourselves until when?!
That grave defines in fact ... the entire life, but again ... we ignore that.
Ignorance somehow saved us ... but the grave remains in there, remembering us the past.
And one day, feeling lost we ask the heart ... what should we do?!
The heart, connected to the soul ... smiles ... and show us all those feelings from the grave ... pointing to all of them in the same time.
There is no need of saying anything else.
The message is simple ... don’t bury the feelings anymore ...
but accept and embrace them, cause they are part of your being.
And we knew it by such a long time ... and still prefer to stand, watch and do ... nothing.
The heart is remaining ... just a grave and nothing more ... cause we don’t know how to really act on the stage of our own lives.
Adrian G Dumitru
38
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
“There is nothing
Happening ...
According to our plans ...”
(Arij Emaan)
There is a nice saying .... “Sometimes the Universe is
laughing of our desires” ... which i always remember when it comes about analyzing my desires and plans.
And i also remember about all my wealthy friends that worked a lot for their financial freedom, hoping that one day they will be so rich that all they will have to do is just enjoy life.
But ... guess what?!
One died.
One divorced.
One had discovered he has cancer.
One ... started to suffer of depression.
One ... lost everything, just before retiring.
And one ... who is a dear friend in fact, invested all his
money into properties, that he rented ... hoping that he will
live a relaxing life.
But guess what?!
Adrian G Dumitru
39
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
The tenants were not paying in time, were leaving letting a total mess in the houses, were calling him all the time with all kinds of requests etc etc.
You could name his new life however you would like to name it ... but if that was financial freedom, being a rentier ...
most probably no one would have this silly dream ... because his life became a nightmare.
You see ... all those guys i know, that worked so damm much for financial freedom ... did not know the art of asking properly to the Universe ... what they wanted.
All we actually have to do ... is ... just connect to the Universe ... and ask for harmony and happiness ... without any other plans.
But we feel the need to become co-creators ... and we never speak with the inner self, which is actually the gateway to the Supreme Divine Being ... believing we know better what we should do in life.
In the end ... the Universe smiles ... then laughs of our plans ... cause we do not understand the concept of destiny and its meaning.
Or even worst ... we understand it ... but we believe our judgement is much better as the Universe thought should be our path in life.
There is nothing happening according to our plans ... but exploring life ... in the end ... we realize it and all we could do ... most probably should be just dream at the proper connection with the Infinite.
Adrian G Dumitru
40
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
Do we really need absolute symbols?! The balance between old style and new style of our thoughts.
Chatting with a dear friend from Pakistan, i had found out that people from there still care about the absolute meaning of the marriage.
In fact a man and a woman is not even touching their hands before marriage ... which for someone from Europe might sound ... as weird.
But thinking about the subject ... i realized that 100 years ago it was the same in Europe.
Things changed in time ... and even if marriage is still important all over the world ... it lost its absolute values. People would love to have it in the old style, but is treating marriage in a totally new style, which in fact lets us adapt so easily to what we call ... divorce.
And the question is ... do we really need absolute symbols in our lives?!
Was it better 100 years ago?!
What had we actually lost?!
Is it anything we can fix in the modern society?!
Well ... we believed in the freedom of our thoughts, in the
Adrian G Dumitru
41
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
liberty of our actions, in the desire of experiencing the world ... but in the end we lost the ... absolute. Marriage is not anymore an absolute symbol. It’s just a symbol.
Friendship also.
Those things had an absolute value and would never be
betrayed ... but the concept got lost on the timeline of the
last 100 years.
The result?!
Well ... we lost the absolute ... without realizing, but is even worst ... cause we look at the values of people from Pakistan ... or our own values from 100 years ago ... as weird.
There are lots of questions in our minds ... a real balance between the old and the new style of thinking ... but maybe there is still a path for keeping real values in life.
We know it ... but probably we just ignore that, because we love and hate in the same time what we name ... betrayal ... and our addiction for it.
Adrian G Dumitru
42
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
We just don’t have the ability of
interacting with people from our lives
... not caring about our interests
Let’s say your child or parent is asking you a favor ... and once you say yes, you will probably take care of everything without expecting anything in return.
But ... let’s say you meet a stranger that is asking you a favor ... even if that person does not know you at all. Maybe for him ... that favor is very, very important ... but you find no real reason to help that person. Why should you bother?!
According to the nowadays standards should be probably ...
a total nonsense to lose your time and energy to help someone you don’t know with a favor.
Or ... also according to the standards ... you should do it, but only and only for getting a favor back.
So ... the real question is why we actually have this ability and also disability of helping the people that appears on the timeline of our lives?!
Why we can help someone is closed to us ... but we can’t help the others?!
How could we change our lives in such a way ... that we would actually not care of our interests?!
Adrian G Dumitru
43
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
Is that really possible?!
Well ... first we just need to understand that we should connect with all the people from our lives, even if that sounds as a real lottery.
Connect to them and feel the connection as the one with the close people from your life.
Give them trust ... even if you don’t know them.
Care about their lives ... even if you don’t really know their story.
Try to be one with all the human beings from the timeline of your life.
Too utopian?!
Well ... probably yes.
But the same concept could be applied to us, if all people would believe in it ... and the whole world should become a better place and not just a silly environment dominated just by our silly daily interests.
Adrian G Dumitru
44
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
There is no betrayal ... is just that you didn’t see clearly the reality in certain moments
When we find out about a situation when we feel betrayed ...
we get really mad.
We can’t even sleep in the right.
The thoughts ... overwhelm us.
We start to be destroyed inside of us ... by all the negative emotions, but also reactions.
There is almost no way of saying ... “It’s ok! Maybe is just a life lesson ... and i had to deal with it!”
... but you know that betrayal is just a life lesson.
You know it ... but can’t deal in any way with all that you feel inside of you.
You feel ... ruined inside of you and realize that you was in a reality that you could not see clearly.
... you cannot believe it ... but now you see it so clear ... but still cannot believe it.
And the real question is ... is it the Ego that is so hurt by the betrayal .... or the soul?!
Why did the soul could not feel a thing all this time when you were in that scene ... with all those people that betrayed you?!
Adrian G Dumitru
45
THE PAINTER THAT NEVER PAINTS
philosophical essays
What happened with your intuition?!
Why you was so damm blind?
Well ... let me tell you my theory ... cause same as you i was experiencing betrayal many times in life.
I felt ruined inside of myself, but it was the Ego that it was so damaged ... cause i was not connected with the soul anymore.
I actually forgot about my soul and my intuition, caring only and only by what the Ego liked.
And i paid the price ... and sometimes a huge one ... because i preferred to stay connected with the silly Ego ... and not by my soul.
But the Ego ... was blind and probably there is no betrayal ... is just that i didn’t see clearly the reality in certain moments. Today ... i try to remember daily about my inner world and connect to everything is related to it, cause i know this way i will have the protection given by ... my intuition, which is actually my connection with the Infinite.
... and try to not forget that anymore ... cause the Ego is very powerful in so many moments and will make me blind again.
