Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
42
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
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So … why the hell … i don’t have the luck to be abused by a such a beautiful lady?!
Why should i pretend … i would dislike that?!
If i would ask my friends to read that post … they would start laughing … envying that gentleman …
And i believe the same … telling them … “such a lucky guy …” It’s indeed unbelievable … how contradictory perceptions we can have over the same subject … but my question is … why we should pretend we have the same views?!
My wife … would dislike this essay … defining me again as a
jerk … but still … why should i pretend i believe something else?!
How many times into my life … i’ve pretended i believed something else … just to align myself at what the society was believing?!
So … why the hell … should i pretend?! Why?!
Why should i not give myself the freedom of having any kind of perception?!
Well ….
Today … i’m a little bit …. wild into my thinking. Maybe … in total contradiction with … the masses.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
43
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Life give us the chance to meet people that know to offer everything … with real love. … but we just can’t believe they are real.
I’ve tried to understand by a long time … what love really is. And being in love many times … over the years … i thought i really understand what it is about …. but …
Today … i realize more and more … that i have maybe no idea
about the subject, but i continue writing … trying to define the undefined from my mind.
I somehow started to understand that love is not like math … and you can’t say that 1+1=2 … but 1+1=0 … or 1+1=1789366.
It’s a totally different math … but having the obsession of certain facts … and the need of clarity when we are on the scene of life … we see ourselves in front of things and circumstances… that look like nonsenses.
An example which i studied a lot in the last few years is the one of men between 35-45 … married … with children at home … that apparently have absolutely all life can offer to a human being … except the fact that the connection with the life partner is fucked up.
I see them in extramarital affairs … and … i don’t really know how the hell … i could explain those fact … into a logical way
so that people will stop seeing the immoral side of those stories.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
44
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
And i see some of my close friends living in 2 parallel worlds
one with the wives that are driving them crazy everyday, inducing them real bad vibes …. but also being involved into some relationships that makes them feel that they are loved
…
I sometimes look at those friends of mine and ask myself … why they accept this circus with … the marriage?
Why if one of those realities is so amazing … and the other one is so damn horrible … why they never consider divorce as an option?
Why those men act … so illogical?!
Why they prefer to live in 2 contradictory worlds … when actually they could simple … chose to live near the mistress … that person which makes them feel … really special.
I tried as a man … to understand this nonsense … but probably the only explanation is that we don’t have the ability to believe that on this plannet … someone offering real unconditional love … is real.
We are incapable of believing … those people really exist. And … living in the same time in 2 different contradictory worlds …. looks like the only real good scenario.
Even if the antithesis between the wife and the mistress …. is revealing so clear what we should really do.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
45
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Love stories with a little bit of rodeo … maybe more than usual … are just amazing
When my friend Paul wants to define a great sexual relationship between 2 human beings … he uses the term … rodeo … smiling.
And even if i did not understood it completely into the beginning …talking about it with more people from my life … i’ve realized it’s actually a familiar concept. Many … knew about it.
So … what is the real meaning of the concept … and how can that influence a relationship?!
Well … whatever Paul told me … i knew that somehow how right.
Many of his theories were studied by a long, long time …. but
i wanted to know what women are thinking about that.
I was really curious … what a woman with life experience would tell me … so …. I’ve decided to ask Carla to go to a coffee … again.
You see … me and Carla are just very good friends … even if
we have so profound discussions about … life, relationships
and many times … even about sex.
Each time when i don’t understand the feminine perspective …. she clarifies for me … in a second.
Carla looks at me … smiling … and replying …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
46
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
“My friend! As usual … i still consider you … a little idiot. You can not understand … after such a long time … the feminine spirit.
Rodeo … is actually a mix of those 2 concepts …. making love
and having sex.
You start making love … you enjoy the prelude …. but then
you go on … and enjoy having sex also.
You go on both speeds … slow … but also fast.
You synchronize … perfectly.
You enjoy the pleasure …. on its maximum values.
You balance between love and …
In fact …. you explore … all a relationship can offer you.
Of course … rodeo can be also with a strange person … but if it’s not also related with a little bit of love … it’s useless. The effect will not be the same.
And exploring everything … into a love story … should be … an amazing experience.”
I was listening to Carla … and smile.
“My dear friend!
Thank you for calling me … idiot all the times.
Helps me a lot in … keeping my mind opened all the time. Maybe … we should try together to explore this concept … with rodeo.”
Carla …. started to laugh…
“Yes. You really are an idiot”
“Well … Carla … you always … clarify things for me … so, so easy.
So … love story … plus a little bit of rodeo … which means amazing sex …. makes the relationship … be the greatest relation a couple could have.”
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
47
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
My discussions with Carla …. were amazing.
Same as the ones with … Paul.
Having more perspectives about the same subject … it was all … just great.
I was defining better and better … and i somehow understood that an amazing relationship between a man and a woman it’s based on having …. everything … at its maximum values.
I was continuing to explore all those theoretical concepts … but …. maybe it was the time to go on the scene of the scene of life … and explore everything i’m talking about … for real.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
48
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Being unemotional … a weird handicap
that is making us … spoiling even perfect case scenarios
I see many people around myself … dominated by emotions. And it’s weird realizing that they destroy themselves … allowing those emotions to dominate themselves. It happened to me too.
Especially … when i was in love.
But in time … i somehow realized … that being dominated … no matter what that was … is not a positive thing for myself. I knew the theory … that love is everything and others blablablas … but …
I understood i need to not allow anything and anyone to dominated my life … or my soul.
I started to work with myself … more and more … until one day … when analyzing and defining myself … i’ve realized that i’ve became … unemotional.
I was writing 10 books of love essays, as in the end to see that I’ve metamorphosed myself into a person that does not have emotions … or at least … not anymore. It was … all ok.
It was all … kind of a protection that was allowing me … not to suffer anymore.
But the same protection that was allowing me to be hurt by the negative impact of my emotions … was stopping me to
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
49
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
feel the happy moments from my life.
And … analyzing myself again … deeper and deeper … i found the guts to define myself … as a zombie. I was not feeling anything … anymore.
I had the protection against being hurt … but i did not realized that i could also lose the ability of enjoying the happy moments of my life.
And being … and acting like an outside observer … i was counting the opportunities that i was missing.
One ….
And another one …
But seeing this balance between … the chances of being hurt by life … and also the huge loss of enjoying so many chances of being actually happy … i somehow concluded that my ….
so called protection … became actually … a weird handicap. I can’t write love essays anymore … cause my heart is not enjoying any love feelings … but i can only write as an observer.
I’ve metamorphosed myself into a writer that writes about amazing feelings … that i don’t feel anymore. So … illogical … but a true fact.
Maybe i need someone …. to redefine my thinking, my way of
being, my everything … so that i start have feelings again.
… love feelings.
So … maybe i need … a love teacher.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
50
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
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Yes indeed … sex is an amazing medicine. Combined with love … we gonna see tremendous effects
The desire of sex exists everywhere.
We see that at men … but also many women started to admit that fact … as a real one.
Analyzing the desire itself … we could somehow conclude that the meaning of sex is actually … just related with the pleasure and nothing more.
But going deeper and deeper … seeing such a big focus on wanting it to happen … sometimes no matter with who … i dare to say that sex is actually the desire of chasing the connection between man and woman.
An unconscious need of being into a point … where i could see the entrance to the infinite.
So … maybe believing it’s all about the pleasure of feeling alive it’s wrong.
I had lots of moments … when i also followed the path of sexual desire … not really understanding what is going on with me … but later on i’ve realized … i don’t really chase for pleasure …. and even worst … not really want a certain person into my life … but the connection itself.
The reaction of mixing 2 souls … could have an amazing effect on my body, my mind and my soul.
It’s almost like taking a magic medicine … that could heal our souls … and then guide us to the … infinite.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
51
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Redefining my perceptions about sex … I stopped judging the others … but also myself … for this desire of more and more … sexual connections.
And I’ve admitted it’s not about pleasure … or a certain person …. that could even become an obsession for my mind
but about the need of being connected with … the Universe itself.
Maybe i’m difficult to be understood.
Maybe it all sounds as a stupid weird therapy.
But … most probably …. with the right person … it usually works.
Sex …. with everything it involves … might be indeed seen …. as a medicine.
For body … mind … and the soul.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
52
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
We come back … then run away.
Again and again …. and again.
cause we actually look only for a certain type of energy.
Anything else … is useless.
I was analyzing many of the men i know.
I was comparing myself with them … on and on and on. Whatever i would say about them … i see in the end at myself also.
I realize the beginning it’s always nice.
They all … just adore it.
I see many of them happy …. and even in love … but later on
something … just changes.
I can’t see the same vibration anymore.
I see them … but also myself … somehow … running away … but also coming back.
And i can’t understand why.
Maybe … that blindness from the beginning … that is allowing us to focus only and only on the beautiful side of the partner … disappears.
we start to see other sides also. We can’t be blinds … anymore.
Each time when we see what we don’t like … we simple want to disappear.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
53
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
We can’t stand the energy of the connection.
Not … anymore.
But … being optimistic …. soon we forget.
And we come back.
Then run away again …
It all becomes like a game for kids … and nobody understands … our silly reactions. This attitude …
Well … i try to define myself, but also all those other men which i know …. and in fact analyzed. I wonder if we are … idiots.
But maybe …. not.
I strongly believe … we are not idiots.
Even if we look …. like that.
And maybe … we should be allowed to act like that … and not be judged anymore … by all the people around us.
All we ask … is simple to … taste the positive energy of a relationship.
Anything else …. we just consider … useless and we simple
don’t care about.
We ignore any other type of energy that is not carrying … amazing vibes.
I know … it’s difficult to accept this type of behavior. Women … our women … tell us on and on and on … that it’s not ok … what we do.
But … we simple can’t … taste … anything except that greatness of a relationship which we find into the beginning of the love stories.
I smile … writing all that.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
54
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
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But i also believe that us … as men … as human beings … we also have rights.
And in fact all we ask is just one right … the one of being connected only and only to … beautiful vibes. Everything else … is useless.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
55
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
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Seeing your own scene of life as a
simple spectator …. an amazing
trick for understanding that indeed it’s all … an illusion
I still remember i wrote 10 books with love essays.
I keep repeating myself … saying that … but on the other
hand, i also remember that … the last essay i wrote about
