use to connect to the present moment.
But even if we all try that … as adults … it looks one more time that a little piece is missing from the puzzle.
And that’s cause we don’t know what prelude is … and its importance.
We don’t know that this is a must … and needs to happen before … everything to happen.
…. before the connection.
But yes … sometimes connections … are just fake connections … and nothing more.
The prelude itself … could help us …. synchronize energies ….
make us activate the connection …
And there are so, so many forms of doing that … but we ignore the concept.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
83
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
We ignore its importance.
We don’t realize that the prelude is an art … which has so, so many forms of representation … but also a must … that we should always have in mind.
And instead of connecting … so easy … we just fail … … we get only … fake connections … and nothing more.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
84
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
If the vibe of the relationship is good … maybe we should just shut up …. and
pretend we don’t see the little problems anymore.
I had the chance to see many unhappy couples during my life time … including my marriage … and i found it weird when i also saw happy people together.
But more i was studying the happiness of those 1% … more i was understanding that a happy life together is based on seeing the beauty of the connection.
Both sides were pretending …. they simple don’t see some of
the things …. that were not according to the perfect plan.
And what it was defined as the perfect plan … was actually the way their relationship looked like.
The vibe was amazing … and everyone could see that.
…. and they knew it.
They felt so good together … that they just decided to shut up in front of all those small details …. that are so easily destroying the beauty of relationship for so many.
They were enjoying the pleasure of being together … and the beauty of those happy moments.
Everything else … was useless to be analyzed or mentioned.
Maybe it’s a sign of wisdom … doing that.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
85
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
And maybe … i should try it also … even if i once wrote a book named … “Pretending … a way of wasting our lives” ….
and that should probably be in totally contradiction with what i’ve wrote at that time.
But … maybe … yes … maybe … i should try whatever works … at least as an experiment.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
86
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Long sex …. long love stories.
And a little bit of extra cash … makes it all … amazing.
I sometimes try to define the best scenario of a love story with … different ladies.
And i’ve spoke with so, so many of them … but i believe we just avoid saying the truth.
In a recent discussion … regarding the subject when i said that a great love story is based a lot on sex and money … i was suddenly disliked by the lady i was talking to.
Seeing that … i’ve asked … “How do you think it was 2000 years ago?
You believe it was not the same?!” Well …
Looking at the best scenarios of a love story … on social media for example …. I see nice photos from amazing
locations … and it all gives me the impression that it’s all related with money … cause those are not cheap vacations ….
and sex … cause that looks like the best place for doing that. And indeed that looks like the best scenario for a love story …. in our era.
I smile realizing than nothing changed in the last 2000 years
and i can’t understand why ladies dislike my theory … when i tell them about that.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
87
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
But seeing that i actually don’t go anywhere with all what i am saying … i just ask …. “Please … could you define me a
relationship … without good sex … and not so much money?! Would it still be amazing … without those 2 ingredients?!” Then … i hear … the silence.
And i don’t realize why i don’t have a reply.
So … is my theory … true?!
Or … just an illusory perception?!
Well …. I’ve decided to stop speaking about this … cause not
so many want to hear such an idea … but … i look all around myself ….and even if i don’t see so many great love stories …
still each time when i meet such couples … i realize that probably my theory is true.
But ignoring his fantasy … should be illogical.
Sometimes we must define … all what is going on with us … including into our minds.
ugly things … dirty ideas … perverse thoughts … and everything defines our existence … even if u like it or not.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
88
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Exploring fantasies …. no matter how
ugly or immoral they should look like
it’s probably a must. Ignoring that …. unfortunately
a huge mistake.
In my journey of understanding love … i’ve explore lots of weird paths … which i did not know so much about.
I had to ask myself … why men still go to prostitutes?!
Why do we look … just at the exterior beauty?!
Why money are so important into a relationship?!
But also … a very important question … what we do with all the fantasies we had … before a new relationship … especially when we realize we actually are in a beautiful story?!
For example … Briana wrote me not so long time ago about Will … her new partner … which she thought … will become the love of her life.
She loved him and he loved her also … but one day she became overwhelmed of emotions … when he told her … “While we made love … last time … i was visualizing you kissing and touching a lady which was near us in bed. And i was not jealous.”
Keeping her calm … even if she wanted to kill him … she just asked …. “Why should you be jealous for?!”
Briana was a very smart lady … and she knew very well how to dominate and manipulate a man, but this time … she was
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
89
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
in love.
Her question to me was … how could she remove this weird fantasy from his mind?!
Well … i smiled … cause i also knew Will … and i knew that he was not such a silly guy … as he might look like.
And i smiled … analyzing him … cause i really knew that what a woman could define as “ugly weird fantasies” … for a man means … probably … “the beauty of exploring the feminine spirit”.
Totally contradictory perceptions … and i knew that Briana was right being afraid that … all will be fucked up. So … i was meditating… more and more.
I’ve tried and tried … to find the proper advice … how could my friend treat her lover … so that they don’t destroy their relationship.
But more i was meditating … more i was realizing that in fact they should simple discuss openly the subject … and choose the best path.
Briana was bisexual … and they could choose to have sex in 3 … and experience his fantasy.
Or … she could calmly explain to him that it’s time to forget about his silly fantasies … and simple enjoy the present moment with her.
Being in the position to choose between connecting to the moment … or live in a world of fantasies … is probably just a decision.
The decision of living life for real … and stop carrying about illusory dreams we had before finding out that reality can be beautiful.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
90
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Of course … we can’t force anyone … to stop having fantasies
but maybe … reminding them that we should not destroy the beautiful things from the real life … is very, very important.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
91
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Learning to synchronize is … a must.
Then everything will come by itself.
I’ve tried to analyze and define life into the couple … trying in fact to understand the rules that can guide us to … happiness.
I’ve tried to look at the others … being incapable of analyzing my own case … but ….
Well … time revealed me lots of things … and even if i’ve found lots of ideas that i had no idea about … today i realize it’s all about connecting and synchronizing our souls … so that we could have good relationships.
Looking at a young couple … dancing … seeing how they synchronize … I’ve understand the pattern … that could make us be together for real … but still i could not apply the theory i was talking about.
I was continuing watching the dance …
I’ve tried to go deeper with my analyzes.
Deeper and deeper.
And finally understood that a beautiful relationship is like a … parallel universe.
We simple need to disconnect from the energies of the reality
come near that person defined as a soul mate …. ignore everything around … and synchronize in everything.
Eat together … Laugh …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
92
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Walk together …
Do … everything together … and … just … enjoy being together.
Enjoy the connection.
… the music of life.
Suddenly i realize that the whole meaning of a relationship is to make us realize … that life is beautiful. … or simple remind us that.
I look again … at this young couple dancing … and i smile. She is white … and he is black … wanting to remind me of how different we are … but … still seeing them dancing so nice … i understand the message beyond the message. I could continue … my analyzes.
…. for a long, long time … but the message is so, so simple.
Learning to synchronize is … a must.
Then everything will come by itself.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
93
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Analyzing on and on and on …. I smile in
front of the illusions from the real life. But i still keep my addiction for … beautiful illusions.
Yes … I keep continuing my journey of trying to understand life … and also find the algorithm that makes adults … happy. Today … i just found out that Elvira … got married … and i smiled.
Seeing a picture with her … i realize she was indeed … happy. She … discovered the path … which i was trying to find … by such a long, long time.
Few years ago she was in relationship with a guy … which i could say … was the reincarnation of Casanova. I knew him also … but not so good.
He was a friend … of a friend … and all i knew about him was that he had about … 400 relationships with women.
As far as i knew …. Casanova … had 300 … so … this guy was
very good.
Once i dared to ask him … his opinion about the beauty of being with a woman … and smiling he just replied … “I can’t say it … yet! I need to explore more!”
For a moment … i thought he was making fun of me … but no ….
Most probably … same as me … he could not find the path to happiness.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
94
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
But recently… accidentally meeting him into the city center … i’ve asked him the same question.
He smiled again … replying this time …. “900 … but i still feel
on a pathless path … and i could no say that i’ve met what i really want … so i can’t see happiness into my soul.” This guy was exploring … the feminine spirit.
He was a great actor … on the stage of the play “The illusion of … love”.
I was doing the same … as this guy … but i was doing all … into a theoretical way.
I saw this guy … as a teacher for … my analysis. But …. analyzing the picture with Elvira … i somehow understood that this path to happiness is … real.
Years ago … she was not happy.
But in that picture … as a bride … she was radiating … for real.
She could be indeed a … love teacher for many of us … including myself.
And i’d like to meet her again … and ask … what the hell you studied … that you reached the path … of happiness?!
I had many moments when i thought that life itself it’s an illusion …. but today looking at this amazing lady … I finally
accept my … addiction for …. beautiful illusions.
Even if i still wonder … if happiness can really exists into a couple?!
But maybe i ask her … to reveal me … that secret ….
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
95
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Sex became kind of … a therapy.
And we started to believe that our partners
are …. the therapists that will heal our
broken souls.
Analyzing my own writings … i’ve realized that i was writing lots of books with love essays, but i was afraid of using the word … sex.
Most probably i was not writing about it … at all … which is indeed a nonsense, cause the things are very well interconnected.
Today … i look around myself … analyzing again and again … the connection between woman and man … trying to understand the meaning … studying the purpose of the connection … and realize that many of us see in that … a therapy … a way of healing ourselves.
Well … analyzing more …i’ve came to the conclusion that we need a relationship … because of the need of completing ourselves … and also to fix our broken souls.
And being so silly … many of us … we start with … sex.
We believe that this means … connection.
And it’s ok … whatever we do … but continuing being silly … not really being satisfied … we keep searching. We start having other parallel connections.
A new one.
And … another one.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
96
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Entering in the trap of the dating apps, realizing it was never before so, so easy to find a new partner … we just connect with … anyone.
The illusion of the beauty of the beginning … from any connection … if it really is a connection … makes us keep searching … believing that we are with …. the right person.
Even the illusion of a great sexual connection … might induce us illusory thoughts.
We start indeed to see sex … as a therapy … and all those partners… as therapists.
Yes … might sound ridiculous… but …
Well … life continues … and analyzing more we finally realize that something is missing from this equation …
Maybe my essays about …. love were not just … nonsenses.
But even if we all try that … as adults … it looks one more time that a little piece is missing from the puzzle.
And that’s cause we don’t know what prelude is … and its importance.
We don’t know that this is a must … and needs to happen before … everything to happen.
…. before the connection.
But yes … sometimes connections … are just fake connections … and nothing more.
The prelude itself … could help us …. synchronize energies ….
make us activate the connection …
And there are so, so many forms of doing that … but we ignore the concept.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
83
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
We ignore its importance.
We don’t realize that the prelude is an art … which has so, so many forms of representation … but also a must … that we should always have in mind.
And instead of connecting … so easy … we just fail … … we get only … fake connections … and nothing more.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
84
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
If the vibe of the relationship is good … maybe we should just shut up …. and
pretend we don’t see the little problems anymore.
I had the chance to see many unhappy couples during my life time … including my marriage … and i found it weird when i also saw happy people together.
But more i was studying the happiness of those 1% … more i was understanding that a happy life together is based on seeing the beauty of the connection.
Both sides were pretending …. they simple don’t see some of
the things …. that were not according to the perfect plan.
And what it was defined as the perfect plan … was actually the way their relationship looked like.
The vibe was amazing … and everyone could see that.
…. and they knew it.
They felt so good together … that they just decided to shut up in front of all those small details …. that are so easily destroying the beauty of relationship for so many.
They were enjoying the pleasure of being together … and the beauty of those happy moments.
Everything else … was useless to be analyzed or mentioned.
Maybe it’s a sign of wisdom … doing that.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
85
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
And maybe … i should try it also … even if i once wrote a book named … “Pretending … a way of wasting our lives” ….
and that should probably be in totally contradiction with what i’ve wrote at that time.
But … maybe … yes … maybe … i should try whatever works … at least as an experiment.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
86
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Long sex …. long love stories.
And a little bit of extra cash … makes it all … amazing.
I sometimes try to define the best scenario of a love story with … different ladies.
And i’ve spoke with so, so many of them … but i believe we just avoid saying the truth.
In a recent discussion … regarding the subject when i said that a great love story is based a lot on sex and money … i was suddenly disliked by the lady i was talking to.
Seeing that … i’ve asked … “How do you think it was 2000 years ago?
You believe it was not the same?!” Well …
Looking at the best scenarios of a love story … on social media for example …. I see nice photos from amazing
locations … and it all gives me the impression that it’s all related with money … cause those are not cheap vacations ….
and sex … cause that looks like the best place for doing that. And indeed that looks like the best scenario for a love story …. in our era.
I smile realizing than nothing changed in the last 2000 years
and i can’t understand why ladies dislike my theory … when i tell them about that.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
87
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
But seeing that i actually don’t go anywhere with all what i am saying … i just ask …. “Please … could you define me a
relationship … without good sex … and not so much money?! Would it still be amazing … without those 2 ingredients?!” Then … i hear … the silence.
And i don’t realize why i don’t have a reply.
So … is my theory … true?!
Or … just an illusory perception?!
Well …. I’ve decided to stop speaking about this … cause not
so many want to hear such an idea … but … i look all around myself ….and even if i don’t see so many great love stories …
still each time when i meet such couples … i realize that probably my theory is true.
But ignoring his fantasy … should be illogical.
Sometimes we must define … all what is going on with us … including into our minds.
ugly things … dirty ideas … perverse thoughts … and everything defines our existence … even if u like it or not.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
88
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Exploring fantasies …. no matter how
ugly or immoral they should look like
it’s probably a must. Ignoring that …. unfortunately
a huge mistake.
In my journey of understanding love … i’ve explore lots of weird paths … which i did not know so much about.
I had to ask myself … why men still go to prostitutes?!
Why do we look … just at the exterior beauty?!
Why money are so important into a relationship?!
But also … a very important question … what we do with all the fantasies we had … before a new relationship … especially when we realize we actually are in a beautiful story?!
For example … Briana wrote me not so long time ago about Will … her new partner … which she thought … will become the love of her life.
She loved him and he loved her also … but one day she became overwhelmed of emotions … when he told her … “While we made love … last time … i was visualizing you kissing and touching a lady which was near us in bed. And i was not jealous.”
Keeping her calm … even if she wanted to kill him … she just asked …. “Why should you be jealous for?!”
Briana was a very smart lady … and she knew very well how to dominate and manipulate a man, but this time … she was
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
89
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
in love.
Her question to me was … how could she remove this weird fantasy from his mind?!
Well … i smiled … cause i also knew Will … and i knew that he was not such a silly guy … as he might look like.
And i smiled … analyzing him … cause i really knew that what a woman could define as “ugly weird fantasies” … for a man means … probably … “the beauty of exploring the feminine spirit”.
Totally contradictory perceptions … and i knew that Briana was right being afraid that … all will be fucked up. So … i was meditating… more and more.
I’ve tried and tried … to find the proper advice … how could my friend treat her lover … so that they don’t destroy their relationship.
But more i was meditating … more i was realizing that in fact they should simple discuss openly the subject … and choose the best path.
Briana was bisexual … and they could choose to have sex in 3 … and experience his fantasy.
Or … she could calmly explain to him that it’s time to forget about his silly fantasies … and simple enjoy the present moment with her.
Being in the position to choose between connecting to the moment … or live in a world of fantasies … is probably just a decision.
The decision of living life for real … and stop carrying about illusory dreams we had before finding out that reality can be beautiful.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
90
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Of course … we can’t force anyone … to stop having fantasies
but maybe … reminding them that we should not destroy the beautiful things from the real life … is very, very important.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
91
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Learning to synchronize is … a must.
Then everything will come by itself.
I’ve tried to analyze and define life into the couple … trying in fact to understand the rules that can guide us to … happiness.
I’ve tried to look at the others … being incapable of analyzing my own case … but ….
Well … time revealed me lots of things … and even if i’ve found lots of ideas that i had no idea about … today i realize it’s all about connecting and synchronizing our souls … so that we could have good relationships.
Looking at a young couple … dancing … seeing how they synchronize … I’ve understand the pattern … that could make us be together for real … but still i could not apply the theory i was talking about.
I was continuing watching the dance …
I’ve tried to go deeper with my analyzes.
Deeper and deeper.
And finally understood that a beautiful relationship is like a … parallel universe.
We simple need to disconnect from the energies of the reality
come near that person defined as a soul mate …. ignore everything around … and synchronize in everything.
Eat together … Laugh …
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
92
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Walk together …
Do … everything together … and … just … enjoy being together.
Enjoy the connection.
… the music of life.
Suddenly i realize that the whole meaning of a relationship is to make us realize … that life is beautiful. … or simple remind us that.
I look again … at this young couple dancing … and i smile. She is white … and he is black … wanting to remind me of how different we are … but … still seeing them dancing so nice … i understand the message beyond the message. I could continue … my analyzes.
…. for a long, long time … but the message is so, so simple.
Learning to synchronize is … a must.
Then everything will come by itself.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
93
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Analyzing on and on and on …. I smile in
front of the illusions from the real life. But i still keep my addiction for … beautiful illusions.
Yes … I keep continuing my journey of trying to understand life … and also find the algorithm that makes adults … happy. Today … i just found out that Elvira … got married … and i smiled.
Seeing a picture with her … i realize she was indeed … happy. She … discovered the path … which i was trying to find … by such a long, long time.
Few years ago she was in relationship with a guy … which i could say … was the reincarnation of Casanova. I knew him also … but not so good.
He was a friend … of a friend … and all i knew about him was that he had about … 400 relationships with women.
As far as i knew …. Casanova … had 300 … so … this guy was
very good.
Once i dared to ask him … his opinion about the beauty of being with a woman … and smiling he just replied … “I can’t say it … yet! I need to explore more!”
For a moment … i thought he was making fun of me … but no ….
Most probably … same as me … he could not find the path to happiness.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
94
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
But recently… accidentally meeting him into the city center … i’ve asked him the same question.
He smiled again … replying this time …. “900 … but i still feel
on a pathless path … and i could no say that i’ve met what i really want … so i can’t see happiness into my soul.” This guy was exploring … the feminine spirit.
He was a great actor … on the stage of the play “The illusion of … love”.
I was doing the same … as this guy … but i was doing all … into a theoretical way.
I saw this guy … as a teacher for … my analysis. But …. analyzing the picture with Elvira … i somehow understood that this path to happiness is … real.
Years ago … she was not happy.
But in that picture … as a bride … she was radiating … for real.
She could be indeed a … love teacher for many of us … including myself.
And i’d like to meet her again … and ask … what the hell you studied … that you reached the path … of happiness?!
I had many moments when i thought that life itself it’s an illusion …. but today looking at this amazing lady … I finally
accept my … addiction for …. beautiful illusions.
Even if i still wonder … if happiness can really exists into a couple?!
But maybe i ask her … to reveal me … that secret ….
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
95
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Sex became kind of … a therapy.
And we started to believe that our partners
are …. the therapists that will heal our
broken souls.
Analyzing my own writings … i’ve realized that i was writing lots of books with love essays, but i was afraid of using the word … sex.
Most probably i was not writing about it … at all … which is indeed a nonsense, cause the things are very well interconnected.
Today … i look around myself … analyzing again and again … the connection between woman and man … trying to understand the meaning … studying the purpose of the connection … and realize that many of us see in that … a therapy … a way of healing ourselves.
Well … analyzing more …i’ve came to the conclusion that we need a relationship … because of the need of completing ourselves … and also to fix our broken souls.
And being so silly … many of us … we start with … sex.
We believe that this means … connection.
And it’s ok … whatever we do … but continuing being silly … not really being satisfied … we keep searching. We start having other parallel connections.
A new one.
And … another one.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
96
THERAPY WITH THE LOVE TEACHER … ALL I NEEDED FOR A BEAUTIFUL LIFE
... essays
Entering in the trap of the dating apps, realizing it was never before so, so easy to find a new partner … we just connect with … anyone.
The illusion of the beauty of the beginning … from any connection … if it really is a connection … makes us keep searching … believing that we are with …. the right person.
Even the illusion of a great sexual connection … might induce us illusory thoughts.
We start indeed to see sex … as a therapy … and all those partners… as therapists.
Yes … might sound ridiculous… but …
Well … life continues … and analyzing more we finally realize that something is missing from this equation …
Maybe my essays about …. love were not just … nonsenses.
