I knew that it will be useless to tell him that he needs to stop the story for a while ... and i let the things continue without saying anything to him.
2 months later Patrick wrote again ... telling me this time that he ended the story with Teresa .... or to be more specific
just stoped it for a while .... and he was feeling amazing
listening the silence from his soul.
Teresa disappeared ... and also the balance of his
contradictory emotions.
But guess what?!
He could not live without her ... and came back to her arms ... not realizing that everything will continue again ... the way it always was.
Another 2 months later ... Patrick wrote one more time ... saying this time that soon he will lose his minds ... because of all what was going on ... asking me to help him to get out from this weird situation.
But i wrote only a short reply ... “Patrick! I had similar stories with yours and i ask myself why you want me to confirm you what to do?!
I just can’t understand why you need this confirmation.
You already had a short time when you stayed away from her and you felt silence inside of you. You felt wonderful.
Teresa is connecting to your beautiful, but also your dark side and reveals everything into an amplified mode. She is connected deep ... deep inside of you.
She is part of your soul.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
54
The dance of our emotions is a
... nonsense ... but a main part of our lives
You just need to decide if you master this balance of contradictory emotions ... or you get out of this emotional game ... which became an important chapter of your whole life.”
Patrick did not had the power to write me back.
He did not liked what i wrote him ... but he knew all what i said.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
55
The dance of our emotions is a
... nonsense ... but a main part of our lives
“Your perception of me is a
reflection of you; my reaction of you is an
awareness of me”
Years ago i had a weird experience, that somehow totally redefined my philosophy about what we actually call in an illusory way ... enemies.
A conflict with an important person from my area, based on a nonsense, like almost all the conflicts we usually have in
life ... ended at the highest institution from my country that analyze such cases.
I could almost say that because of this ... we ended at the Inquisition .... and we were scared to death because of that ... both of us.
But somehow it was too late ... cause they already were analyzing the case ... and all we could do was to believe that God will save us from there.
The conflict itself took about 2 years.
In my vision from that time .... the guy was a jerk that had
to go to Hell because of all his actions against me ... but i am
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
56
The dance of our emotions is a
... nonsense ... but a main part of our lives
also sure that he did not defined me as the angel from Heaven.
I had lots of nights that i could not sleep because of that damm conflict.
Had moments when i forgot about him ... but remembering again ... i was becoming overwhelmed of emotions ... again and again.
In fact ... it was a balance of contradictory emotions.
I was trying to practice the forgiveness and i was reading a lot about the subject, but even if i had moments when i thought i forgave him ... the next day i was hating him again. Seeing that the conflict is not going to an end, his wife was visiting my parents ... complaining about the situation and asking for help ... telling them all kinds of lies and that her husband is not sleeping into the night because of me .. by months.
I was smiling realizing that i was not sleeping ... and he was not sleeping either .... by such a long time.
But one day the conflict finally ended and no one of us was arrested ... even if almost all the people that go to that institution, that looks a lot with the Inquisition ... are arrested ... at least for a while.
Seeing that ... we closed the conflicted and we somehow promised to each other that we will never have a conflict again.
We were so idiots ... that we could almost be arrested ... only because we could not realize that the conflict itself was a ... nonsense.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
57
The dance of our emotions is a
... nonsense ... but a main part of our lives
Today i met him again.
We stayed for about 10 minutes together and talked.
We smiled to each other.
Saw his emotions in his eyes ... but i was seeing him this time as ... a friend.
Most probably we will make a deal together and ... make some good money.
... but i smiled after i left.
Being in front of each other ... we realized the illusory concept of what we name ... enemies and conflicts. Maybe we have now close to 3 years from the end of the story ... and i clearly see the nonsense from that situation ... but i can’t believe i was so blind.
Time let me ... open the eyes ... and maybe for him it was the same ... but even if we were not arrested by anyone ...
we spent 2 years in a weird virtual prison ... of negative emotions that ruined us the chance of enjoying life in a proper way.
I was glad seeing today that i don’t hate him anymore ... and that we treated each other as 2 friends thar lived an interesting experience together ... one that redefined us our perception about the silly balance of our non sense thoughts, perceptions, feelings and emotions.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
58
The dance of our emotions is a
... nonsense ... but a main part of our lives
The need of ... stories ... is real.
Elizabeth was a beautiful lady ... married with a great guy, having 2 amazing kids ... but still she was feeling miserable. She was having all kinds of contradictory thoughts and emotions.
There were days when she was happy ... but lots of others .... when she was overwhelmed by unhappiness.
But one day ... a friend of her takes her phone, instal a dating app on it and says to her to try it ... at least for 20 minutes.
Elizabeth completes her profil ... writing ..
“In a relationship, looking for the same ...
I would like to live a parallel story”
In fact ... she was looking for a parallel universe ... where she could go from time to time ... and taste the beauty of being alive.
Her friend was also doing that, having a similar story with her own .... and described the dating apps as an extreme
sport that is helping her to get rid of stress, anxiety and mainly to forget that on the timeline from the actual universe
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
59
The dance of our emotions is a
... nonsense ... but a main part of our lives
... she is living a miserable life in fact.
She needed a magic pill ... at least to forget for a short time
by the balance of all those negative emotions that were
ruining her soul.
Was it moral?!
Well ... but what if i ask ... is it moral to steal some food when you don’t have anything to eat?! ... just a little bit ... just to survive.
The 2 ladies ... could be defined in totally contradictory ways ... but i assure you that it will be difficult to answer at the second question.
And ... Elizabeth wanted in fact to steal a little bit of happiness ... living in an unhappy world ... painted all the time in grey colors.
She needed ... and accepted the search for ... stories ... at least from time to time.
Today ... i wonder myself ... what is a magic pill suitable for me?!
Is it ... same as Elizabeth’s case ... something immoral?! But maybe ... i am not so honest as Elizabeth to accept the misery from my life and even if the balance of contradictory emotions exists in my life ... i pretend i don’t see it.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
60
The dance of our emotions is a
... nonsense ... but a main part of our lives
All we actually want ... is just a reflection of the desire of more and more and more
There are people that want money.
Others ... sex, or extreme sports ... or career ... but in the end if you analyze them and try to define their lives ... we see that they are always dominated by the desire of more. And it’s not that we have desires ... but we have an illusory need of increasing the dose all the time.
We can’t see the addiction ... no matter what we do ... and it is funny cause if someone would dare to compare us with a person that has a drug addiction and is taking more and more drugs ... till the day he dies because of that ... we would feel ofended of the comparison.
And we see that we get for real almost all of our desires ... being happy for not more than 15 minutes ... actually living the victory of 15 minutes, which becomes the expression of the volatility of our times.
The desire itself is volatile ... and once we have it ... we just
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
61
The dance of our emotions is a
... nonsense ... but a main part of our lives
want more and more ... and we can’t really understand how things work.
All that is satisfying us is the fact that we can chaise for more and more ... and nothing stops us.
The problem is that the gap between where we are and where we want to be .... is actually a balance of contradictory emotions.
We want that something ... that looks almost impossible ... but still we want it so much that we accept to have all the necessary sacrifices, forgetting that on this journey .... the
sacrifices will never bring joy to us ... but pain, misery ... and an illusory hope that life will be different somewhere in the future.
The price of getting all that we actually want and accepting the philosophy of more as a philosophy of life ... just because we are beings dominated by desires ... makes us live ... always being on a journey to a pathless path.
We can’t accept that behind the desire there is actually a volatile happiness that can satisfy our self ... just for a short period of time.
Is too much to believe that we actually spend our lives chasing the illusion behind the desire ... and on this road we need to see the self tortured by all types of emotions.
The balance of emotions ... defines everything really life is for us ... but we can’t see a way out from this illusory trap. We just accept the misery of being unhappy .... believing and hoping that having all those desires for real ... is the cure for
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
62
The dance of our emotions is a
... nonsense ... but a main part of our lives
getting rid of ugly vibes and the start of a journey to a beautiful life.
But the truth is ... we can’t see the real values of life. Blinded by all the influences around us ... we just continue life ... in the same way a blind person is walking in the real life.
So ... is there any final destination?!
It’s maybe too much to say that to be happy for real and not chaise for volatility ... we need to change our values ... and then life will change for real.
And the real trick might be ... enjoy the journey and forget thinking so much of the final destination.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
63
The dance of our emotions is a
... nonsense ... but a main part of our lives
Truth be told ... we can’t adapt ourselves to perfect case scenarios. We just can’t! ... and unfortunately
... we don’t even want that!
There are many forces that control reality ... and the biggest problem is that many of them can’t be seen ... or even guessed.
Many, many years ago ... when someone was losing his mind ... the popular belief was that the person was possessed by the devil.
Today we don’t believe anymore in the influence of such forces ... but lots of people, from all around the world are living ... like in Hell.
They call it reality ... and are afraid of naming it in such a way ... but still ... the life itself is horrible. There is almost no hope.
The past used to be a balance between positive and negative vibes ... but now ... everything is fucked up ... being surrounded only by negative people ... that look almost
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
64
The dance of our emotions is a
... nonsense ... but a main part of our lives
possessed by evil forces that are ruining our lives.
And still we can’t accept ... even if we read or heard about the concept ... that reality is controlled by invisible forces ... difficult to be understood.
But there is something we kept hiding by such a long time ... the fact that everything is just a reflection of our thoughts, feelings and emotions ... and we are the ones that attracted a very ugly reality.
Even the people around us ... had been attracted by us ...
but again we can’t accept it.
Years ago ... maybe everything was different ... but today we see everything changed.
We still dream about the perfect life ... but ... the journey to the Paradise took us to the Hell ... and we did not understood the whole meaning of all what is going on.
The perfect case scenario became the worst case scenario ... for the simple fact that we could not accept ... and probably not even wanted it for real ... to have perfection present in our lives.
We are conflictual beings ... that can’t control the wild inner
side ... not realizing that we can’t plant cactus seeds and
expect to see orange trees.
It’s all a non sense behavior.
We use beautiful words ... describing amazing plans for the future ... but end up miserable all the time. Should we still ask why?!
Well ... maybe it’s a disability of adapting to beautiful scenarios ... paying too much attention to our dark side.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
65
The dance of our emotions is a
... nonsense ... but a main part of our lives
... but life continues, with all types of scenarios ... and unfortunately none of them are what we said we wanted to have.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
66
The dance of our emotions is a
... nonsense ... but a main part of our lives
We should have the power to accept that our thinking has a different point of view today than yesterday.
Change ... is part of life ... even if it
looks so contradictory
I had many moments in life when i believed something ... but few days later i thought something totally different.
I’ve been even accused that i present totally contradictory concepts ... and that i am too difficult to be understood.
I was changing my mind in lots of aspects ... but after a while i accepted that this might be a positive habit.
I was starting a process of analyzing my life ... my behavior, my thoughts .... my emotions ... and i was not afraid to
admit that i was wrong ... that i was not having the right perspective over reality.
