Indeed you can’t see all … while you are making love with
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
84
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY philosophical essays
her … most probably cause you don’t open your heart for 100% … in front of her.
You are not sure of the borders of your relationship.
You can’t feel her …. cause you don’t understand the way of
connecting completely to her soul.
But … the question is … going deeper and deeper … could you visualize the same scene … you on a chair … while she makes love into the bed near you … with another man?! Well … hell nooo …
You want to explore all related to sexuality … and all the energies came from this point of view … but … you are actually ready to accept sharing her just with another lady … not feeling any threat for your connection.
Maybe exploring … the limits of intimacy…. It’s a must for a
great relationship… but there are always hidden risks. Maybe is better to define with her … directly your obsession for such a fantasy … and probably watch a lesbian porn movie together.
Might be a great start … for understanding what you really want to see … to explore … and to experience.”
I continued drinking my coffee … watching my friend … so surprised of my words.
But … somehow … i believe is healthy to define our fantasies with our partners.
Instead of wanting obsessively to experience something ….
ending up … actually experiencing all, but with someone else
it’s better to define all our fantasies … no matter how stupid they should look like.
It’s a way of connecting for real to the partner.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
85
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY
philosophical essays
To know all … what we want … and expect.
… also experience.
Running away of our fantasies… is probably useless. Sooner or later … the huge desire of experiencing that fantasy will reappear.
And going deeper and deeper … understanding for real our thoughts, wishes … and weird desires … might be the key … for better connections.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
86
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY
philosophical essays
Respect their right to be stupids … or act stupid … but please remember that nobody can force you to still keep company to them.
Over the years …. I’ve defined many people as stupids … or
idiots.
I even defined myself as that.
… and not just one time.
Somehow i was right … but somehow i was feeling that people … including myself are not stupids …. but act stupid.
And do this so often …. that all looks so normal … that is
even useless to define what is really going on. But my question is … why are people doing that?! Is it normal?!
Should we accept stupidity… or all we see is just a psychological mechanism in how we actually try to escape of the actual reality … not really liking it … and taste another types of energies too.
Acting stupid is not a mask for being stupid.
Acting stupid … is a conscious decision.
The one of leaving the actual reality … at least for a short time … to see the energies of other realities too.
Some are feeling the need of drinking a glass of whiskey,
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
87
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY philosophical essays
some are tasting marihuana, some are trying to see what it will really happen when that fantasy with that colleague from work will become real …. some travel around the world
illusory hoping that a new type of energy will become part of their lives … some start to paint again …abstract art … remembering how good they were painting in the middle school.
I heard so many stories … of escaping from reality … but i
will not write the whole list.
… it’s a too long list.
I simple look … analyze …. and stay only if i like the energy
of that connection.
If not …. i just leave.
I don’t bother anymore to define what is going on.
I find it … useless.
In the end … it’s all about my soul … and is my fundamental right to protect myself of stupid … toxic … illusory … energies.
And i am really happy … that i found the wisdom … not to waste my time around people that are stupids … or pretend they are stupids …. acting stupid.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
88
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY
philosophical essays
Intuition … a handicap that is not allowing us to enjoy … illusory stories
It says that intuition is the way …. The Infinite Intelligence…
is talking to us.
I personally ignored my intuition…. many, many times …
continuing to live many illusory useless stories.
And when i say many, many times … i am probably talking about one million times.
I had … for example … many, many moments when i just felt that i was following pathless paths … but tried to stop that annoying voice from my head that was repeating me on and on and on … that i am not following the right direction.
I could actually not enjoy life …. not even the beautiful
episodes of it … because i knew it’s all an illusion.
That voice from my head … kept repeating me that.
And i had many moments when …. from too much optimism
…. I was living … still believing that the title of my book ….
“The illusion of being part of an illusion” … was a correct one.
But still … i was balancing into my contradictory thoughts. I knew that the annoying voice from my mind … was always telling the truth … but …
I still refused to listen to it.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
89
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY philosophical essays
Well …. until i’ve realized that i always finish bad the journeys
to those pathless paths and i was ruing my life …. more and
more and more.
I was actually … wasting my life.
I knew so well … what was intuition.. and that it never lied to me .. but ….
Well … i could simple define myself as an idiot … refusing to accept the real truth … just for the sake of the beauty of some illusory stories …. which were always ending … stupid.
But being … idiot … i had the assume that reality itself was just a reflection … even if i was warned by so, so many times.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
90
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY
philosophical essays
Sharing energies … a way of testing new paths … but also … a weird hobby that probably has the purpose to make us understand reality …. and what is beyond it
I was into the coffee shop … where i usually go.
Close to me … came a couple.
They ordered 2 coffees … then i see them kissing …
It looked to me that they were waiting for someone.
Soon after … a new guy comes and sits to their table.
Looked … like a nice person …. and the couple was really
happy to see him.
I could not really hear what they were talking about … cause the music was too load … but soon after the new guy came … i see the lady really enjoying the conversation with him … almost totally forgetting about her partner.
Few minutes ago … she was delighted by the company of the man near her …. but the moment the new man came … all suddenly changed.
She was now delighted by the conversation that she had with the other man.
I was watching … still not understanding a word … but seeing the dynamic of the energies … and i was totally surprised. The phone of her partner rang and he had to go out … and
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
91
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY philosophical essays
speak in silence … so …. I saw the dynamic of the connection
changing again.
Away from her partner … alone with this karismasic guy …. I
saw an extraordinary exchanged of energy … and i could not believe it.
It looked like i was over reacting …. but i was seeing beyond
reality … and i saw the dance of energies.
I was a simple spectator… and i was actually looking at a movie … without sound …. but …
Her partner came … and i’ve realized his face was totally changed.
Most probably … not because of the phone conversation that he had … but because seeing so happy her partner … while discussing with another man.
But my story is not about jealousy.
No. No. No.
I somehow felt the guy … not jealous… but unhappy seeing her partner so happy in the company of another man. Well … we like it or not … those things happens.
Might happen into the subway … just adoring to watch the eyes of a person for about 2-3 seconds … or enjoying the company of a neighbor that is visiting you on the week ends … or … or … or ….
The list of example is probably infinite.
And the real truth is that from time to time … we just love to taste new energies.
We feel a tremendous need and desire of doing it … even if it is immoral or not.
Any other detail … becomes irrelevant.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
92
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY
philosophical essays
We ll not accept that … but we just love the dance of energies.
… of other energies … than the ones are usually surround us.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
93
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY
philosophical essays
A new day …. new energies.
Cause you see … a new day… can always be translated as … the chance of seeing all reseted.
I had … over the years … many situations which i totally disliked.
And … there were days when i could simple not stand anymore.
I simple wanted to go to sleep and forget about all.
I was actually living with the hope into my soul … that i will fall asleep … and when i will wake up … all those illusory problems that were ruining me emotionally… will just disappear.
But i was balancing… between contradictory thoughts … somehow believing … but also not believing that this could really happen.
I knew that all beyond reality it’s a dance of energies … and maybe the whole dance could be totally different … the next day …. but …
Yes … i balanced … believing and not believing … that all could be reset … the next day.
But being worried … the moment i wake up … i am 100% convinced that all is the same … and nothing changed.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
94
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY philosophical essays
I don’t believe that the night … has the power to reset all … and thinking like that i am not allowing as new energies to penetrate my reality.
I feel myself trapped into a reality dominated … by energies which i dislike … but i can not change … anything. Somehow … having this large spectrum of thoughts … believing and not believing in reseting the energy of our connections … i fail … in allowing as the ugliness of the vibes of the previous days … to simple disappear. All could be a decision.
The one …. of allowing the show of energies to happen …
To connect … but also disconnect from them.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
95
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY
philosophical essays
Refusing to share the people which are specials to us … and saying it load … most probably … a normal fact
Truth be told … people are not … things.
We can possess lots of things … but we can’t possess people. It’s stupid to think we have this right with the life partner … or the spouse … but no matter how much we should like it … or not … people can’t be our … property.
The problem is that sometimes … we like so, so much someone that … we simple don’t agree to share that person
with anyone.
in absolutely… no form.
and with nobody.
We just want a connection … a pure one … and the desire of having that soul … just for us … is huge. It’s actually an obsession.
We love so much to spend all the time with that person … and we don’t agree staying away of that amazing soul … not even for a second.
We want the whole attention from that person.
We want … a life dedicated … entirely to this weird concept of …. us.
And we love so much … the energy of that connection.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
96
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY philosophical essays
… all related to it.
This is why we believe we own that soul … and everything needs to be related to … “us” … otherwise all look as a … betrayal.
Owning people … is forbidden.
Yes … we all know that … but sometimes the connection is so, so strong … that we simple can’t allow … sharing … that loved soul … no matter the form we should have to do it.
And no matter if that …something …. looks normal.
We just can’t …
And …. even if we are not saying … not even a word … all
becomes so obvious….
It’s nothing related to … jealousy.
No … no … no ….
But we continue adoring that soul … and maybe it’s all clear … and normal … to stay nonstop connected.
Refusing to share those people …. in any simple form …
becomes a … normality.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
97
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY
philosophical essays
Ruining energies … done
into a conscious or
unconscious way … still a contemporary hobby
I’ve wrote this book …. “The illusory dance of energies …
beyond reality” … from the desire of explaining my perceptions about what really controls … reality.
The book itself has the simple purpose … not to pretend i own the absolute truth, but to influence people to meditate more why their lives look the way look like.
I did this exercises … starting with the belief that i am actually a victim of circumstances … but later on i’ve finally realized that being dominated of positive or ugly vibes … i ended up many times seeing very ugly scenarios into the present moment.
And all happened …. consciously or unconsciously …. but
always pretending i am not seeing the truth.
I had good moments too into my life … like many others ….
but also many ugly situations… generated by this invisible dance of energies beyond reality.
Later on … i’ve redefined all … the illusory dance of energies … and maybe i was right.
All my thoughts … but also the thoughts of all the people
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
98
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY philosophical essays
from the stage of my life … had a huge impact into my present moment.
But …. It took me a century to realize … and accept it.
Accept … that actually what i’ve defined as the dance of energies was represented by all those contradictory thoughts from the collective conscious or unconscious mind … of all the ones around me.
From my mind … and my soul.
And … also of all the others.
I continued many times … my journey in life … ignoring those energies beyond reality.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
84
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY philosophical essays
her … most probably cause you don’t open your heart for 100% … in front of her.
You are not sure of the borders of your relationship.
You can’t feel her …. cause you don’t understand the way of
connecting completely to her soul.
But … the question is … going deeper and deeper … could you visualize the same scene … you on a chair … while she makes love into the bed near you … with another man?! Well … hell nooo …
You want to explore all related to sexuality … and all the energies came from this point of view … but … you are actually ready to accept sharing her just with another lady … not feeling any threat for your connection.
Maybe exploring … the limits of intimacy…. It’s a must for a
great relationship… but there are always hidden risks. Maybe is better to define with her … directly your obsession for such a fantasy … and probably watch a lesbian porn movie together.
Might be a great start … for understanding what you really want to see … to explore … and to experience.”
I continued drinking my coffee … watching my friend … so surprised of my words.
But … somehow … i believe is healthy to define our fantasies with our partners.
Instead of wanting obsessively to experience something ….
ending up … actually experiencing all, but with someone else
it’s better to define all our fantasies … no matter how stupid they should look like.
It’s a way of connecting for real to the partner.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
85
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY
philosophical essays
To know all … what we want … and expect.
… also experience.
Running away of our fantasies… is probably useless. Sooner or later … the huge desire of experiencing that fantasy will reappear.
And going deeper and deeper … understanding for real our thoughts, wishes … and weird desires … might be the key … for better connections.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
86
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY
philosophical essays
Respect their right to be stupids … or act stupid … but please remember that nobody can force you to still keep company to them.
Over the years …. I’ve defined many people as stupids … or
idiots.
I even defined myself as that.
… and not just one time.
Somehow i was right … but somehow i was feeling that people … including myself are not stupids …. but act stupid.
And do this so often …. that all looks so normal … that is
even useless to define what is really going on. But my question is … why are people doing that?! Is it normal?!
Should we accept stupidity… or all we see is just a psychological mechanism in how we actually try to escape of the actual reality … not really liking it … and taste another types of energies too.
Acting stupid is not a mask for being stupid.
Acting stupid … is a conscious decision.
The one of leaving the actual reality … at least for a short time … to see the energies of other realities too.
Some are feeling the need of drinking a glass of whiskey,
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
87
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY philosophical essays
some are tasting marihuana, some are trying to see what it will really happen when that fantasy with that colleague from work will become real …. some travel around the world
illusory hoping that a new type of energy will become part of their lives … some start to paint again …abstract art … remembering how good they were painting in the middle school.
I heard so many stories … of escaping from reality … but i
will not write the whole list.
… it’s a too long list.
I simple look … analyze …. and stay only if i like the energy
of that connection.
If not …. i just leave.
I don’t bother anymore to define what is going on.
I find it … useless.
In the end … it’s all about my soul … and is my fundamental right to protect myself of stupid … toxic … illusory … energies.
And i am really happy … that i found the wisdom … not to waste my time around people that are stupids … or pretend they are stupids …. acting stupid.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
88
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY
philosophical essays
Intuition … a handicap that is not allowing us to enjoy … illusory stories
It says that intuition is the way …. The Infinite Intelligence…
is talking to us.
I personally ignored my intuition…. many, many times …
continuing to live many illusory useless stories.
And when i say many, many times … i am probably talking about one million times.
I had … for example … many, many moments when i just felt that i was following pathless paths … but tried to stop that annoying voice from my head that was repeating me on and on and on … that i am not following the right direction.
I could actually not enjoy life …. not even the beautiful
episodes of it … because i knew it’s all an illusion.
That voice from my head … kept repeating me that.
And i had many moments when …. from too much optimism
…. I was living … still believing that the title of my book ….
“The illusion of being part of an illusion” … was a correct one.
But still … i was balancing into my contradictory thoughts. I knew that the annoying voice from my mind … was always telling the truth … but …
I still refused to listen to it.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
89
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY philosophical essays
Well …. until i’ve realized that i always finish bad the journeys
to those pathless paths and i was ruing my life …. more and
more and more.
I was actually … wasting my life.
I knew so well … what was intuition.. and that it never lied to me .. but ….
Well … i could simple define myself as an idiot … refusing to accept the real truth … just for the sake of the beauty of some illusory stories …. which were always ending … stupid.
But being … idiot … i had the assume that reality itself was just a reflection … even if i was warned by so, so many times.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
90
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY
philosophical essays
Sharing energies … a way of testing new paths … but also … a weird hobby that probably has the purpose to make us understand reality …. and what is beyond it
I was into the coffee shop … where i usually go.
Close to me … came a couple.
They ordered 2 coffees … then i see them kissing …
It looked to me that they were waiting for someone.
Soon after … a new guy comes and sits to their table.
Looked … like a nice person …. and the couple was really
happy to see him.
I could not really hear what they were talking about … cause the music was too load … but soon after the new guy came … i see the lady really enjoying the conversation with him … almost totally forgetting about her partner.
Few minutes ago … she was delighted by the company of the man near her …. but the moment the new man came … all suddenly changed.
She was now delighted by the conversation that she had with the other man.
I was watching … still not understanding a word … but seeing the dynamic of the energies … and i was totally surprised. The phone of her partner rang and he had to go out … and
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
91
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY philosophical essays
speak in silence … so …. I saw the dynamic of the connection
changing again.
Away from her partner … alone with this karismasic guy …. I
saw an extraordinary exchanged of energy … and i could not believe it.
It looked like i was over reacting …. but i was seeing beyond
reality … and i saw the dance of energies.
I was a simple spectator… and i was actually looking at a movie … without sound …. but …
Her partner came … and i’ve realized his face was totally changed.
Most probably … not because of the phone conversation that he had … but because seeing so happy her partner … while discussing with another man.
But my story is not about jealousy.
No. No. No.
I somehow felt the guy … not jealous… but unhappy seeing her partner so happy in the company of another man. Well … we like it or not … those things happens.
Might happen into the subway … just adoring to watch the eyes of a person for about 2-3 seconds … or enjoying the company of a neighbor that is visiting you on the week ends … or … or … or ….
The list of example is probably infinite.
And the real truth is that from time to time … we just love to taste new energies.
We feel a tremendous need and desire of doing it … even if it is immoral or not.
Any other detail … becomes irrelevant.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
92
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY
philosophical essays
We ll not accept that … but we just love the dance of energies.
… of other energies … than the ones are usually surround us.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
93
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY
philosophical essays
A new day …. new energies.
Cause you see … a new day… can always be translated as … the chance of seeing all reseted.
I had … over the years … many situations which i totally disliked.
And … there were days when i could simple not stand anymore.
I simple wanted to go to sleep and forget about all.
I was actually living with the hope into my soul … that i will fall asleep … and when i will wake up … all those illusory problems that were ruining me emotionally… will just disappear.
But i was balancing… between contradictory thoughts … somehow believing … but also not believing that this could really happen.
I knew that all beyond reality it’s a dance of energies … and maybe the whole dance could be totally different … the next day …. but …
Yes … i balanced … believing and not believing … that all could be reset … the next day.
But being worried … the moment i wake up … i am 100% convinced that all is the same … and nothing changed.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
94
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY philosophical essays
I don’t believe that the night … has the power to reset all … and thinking like that i am not allowing as new energies to penetrate my reality.
I feel myself trapped into a reality dominated … by energies which i dislike … but i can not change … anything. Somehow … having this large spectrum of thoughts … believing and not believing in reseting the energy of our connections … i fail … in allowing as the ugliness of the vibes of the previous days … to simple disappear. All could be a decision.
The one …. of allowing the show of energies to happen …
To connect … but also disconnect from them.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
95
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY
philosophical essays
Refusing to share the people which are specials to us … and saying it load … most probably … a normal fact
Truth be told … people are not … things.
We can possess lots of things … but we can’t possess people. It’s stupid to think we have this right with the life partner … or the spouse … but no matter how much we should like it … or not … people can’t be our … property.
The problem is that sometimes … we like so, so much someone that … we simple don’t agree to share that person
with anyone.
in absolutely… no form.
and with nobody.
We just want a connection … a pure one … and the desire of having that soul … just for us … is huge. It’s actually an obsession.
We love so much to spend all the time with that person … and we don’t agree staying away of that amazing soul … not even for a second.
We want the whole attention from that person.
We want … a life dedicated … entirely to this weird concept of …. us.
And we love so much … the energy of that connection.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
96
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY philosophical essays
… all related to it.
This is why we believe we own that soul … and everything needs to be related to … “us” … otherwise all look as a … betrayal.
Owning people … is forbidden.
Yes … we all know that … but sometimes the connection is so, so strong … that we simple can’t allow … sharing … that loved soul … no matter the form we should have to do it.
And no matter if that …something …. looks normal.
We just can’t …
And …. even if we are not saying … not even a word … all
becomes so obvious….
It’s nothing related to … jealousy.
No … no … no ….
But we continue adoring that soul … and maybe it’s all clear … and normal … to stay nonstop connected.
Refusing to share those people …. in any simple form …
becomes a … normality.
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
97
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY
philosophical essays
Ruining energies … done
into a conscious or
unconscious way … still a contemporary hobby
I’ve wrote this book …. “The illusory dance of energies …
beyond reality” … from the desire of explaining my perceptions about what really controls … reality.
The book itself has the simple purpose … not to pretend i own the absolute truth, but to influence people to meditate more why their lives look the way look like.
I did this exercises … starting with the belief that i am actually a victim of circumstances … but later on i’ve finally realized that being dominated of positive or ugly vibes … i ended up many times seeing very ugly scenarios into the present moment.
And all happened …. consciously or unconsciously …. but
always pretending i am not seeing the truth.
I had good moments too into my life … like many others ….
but also many ugly situations… generated by this invisible dance of energies beyond reality.
Later on … i’ve redefined all … the illusory dance of energies … and maybe i was right.
All my thoughts … but also the thoughts of all the people
Adrian Gabriel Dumitru
98
THE ILLUSORY DANCE OF ENERGIES … BEYOND REALITY philosophical essays
from the stage of my life … had a huge impact into my present moment.
But …. It took me a century to realize … and accept it.
Accept … that actually what i’ve defined as the dance of energies was represented by all those contradictory thoughts from the collective conscious or unconscious mind … of all the ones around me.
From my mind … and my soul.
And … also of all the others.
I continued many times … my journey in life … ignoring those energies beyond reality.
