I lived with the illusion that … all had the purpose to make me interact with a large spectrum of energies and to understand what is this idea with energies about.
But … still … too many episodes … and too many life lessons regarding the subject.
Time was passing … and i had the chance to meet lots, lots of people…
Tens … then hundreds … then thousands…
And i had sort of an funny awakening … when a client told me … “it’s interesting seeing this large spectrum of profiles … which is actually represented by your clients ….” Any story … became … a number … into the end.
Episode number X … in the relationship with Y … believing it’s a real important story … but all ending convincing myself that absolutely any relationships we have … is just … temporary….
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And … I see how a new story starts.
I look at the story itself … and then i see all fading.
then … the end. I smile …
I smile … cause i lived so, so many illusory stories … believing in their importance … but it was all … just temporary.
…. stories about business, or sentimental stories etc etc.
I look back in time … i look into the present moment … and i smile again.
All my relationships… became just a story with X, or Y, or Z … and i can’t even remember their purposes.
Somehow … i totally forgot i had to connect to those souls …. All this large spectrum of energies … which appeared in front of me … were carrying a message … about my inner soul.
I saw all as story number 1878 … episode 56 …. and forgot that all being just a reflection of my soul … i had to connect deeper with those souls … feel the energy of the connection itself … and understand what is the Universe trying to whisper me.
Maybe that … i am crazy …
that i am lazy.
or idiot … or greedy … or have no idea idea what love is about … or … or …
Well … maybe i was not prepared yet … to open my eyes … and pay attention to what the Universe is trying to communicate to myself.
But …. I still live with the hope … that is more a concept than a real thing … that one day soon … i’ll make steps for awakening …
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The attitude is … an energy
I have this habit of analyzing the world around myself and all the people i see.
And i try to act as an observer … a neutral one … even if i know that i should actually be a simple spectator… that is looking at the show from the scene of life.
I know that i should see all those people that appears in front of me as actors … but … i just can’t. I analyze them …
I look at all the details and define all as …
Well …. maybe i should say … real …
And … i smile.
Actually i even laugh seeing the attitude of everyone and realizing it’s all about such a large spectrum of attitudes. But the most i smile while seeing arrogance, superiority to the others … and also an attitude which is actually … a real attack to everyone around.
It’s most probably a way of showing or proving … the value of that individual.
I see it as a total nonsense …. but looking at all those people
realizing how important is to wear this masks … i smile again.
In a short moment of awakening … i wonder myself if i also have this type of attitude… that i could actually define … just
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into a negative way.
… but maybe the answer is yes.
And i realize that even if the attitude has the shape of a mask … that we carry so, so often …. it is actually an energy that is coming and controlling all … but beyond reality.
I look at all those actors that i see on the scene of life … and analyzing their attitudes … i am into the position of accepting all … just as it is.
I understand that people are dominated by thoughts and energies … which are or not their own … but into the end … all i see is just a reflection of that.
But i’ve already started to accept all those attitudes.
I see them as decisions of individuals…. wise or not wise …
but into the end … the whole scene becomes defined and also dominated … by all those energies.
The actors are still trying to keep their emotional masks … and the reflection of those energies … is influencing all .. around.
We realize the nonsense of all … but looks like it’s even useless to believe we can change anything on the scene of life.
Or maybe the only thing we could do is to accept attitudes … as part of life … maybe into the same way we accept the weather from outside.
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Allowing them to be idiots … it’s ok … but disconnecting from them … it’s probably a must
I stayed surrounded by lots, lots of idiots over the years.
… or at least … this was my perception about them.
And not to look arrogant in front of you … i would just like to mention here … simple examples …. as people that daily drink alcohol … or the ones taking drugs.
I saw them … on the timeline of my life.
I saw the dynamic of my relationship with them … but also the evolution of their life … which could probably be defined as … involution.
I also remember the dynamic of my relationships with people taking drugs.
They were explaining me that marihuana is good … having therapeutic effects … and i don’t understand a thing about anything.
But little by little … even if i was accepting them …. just as
they were … time proved i cannot stand their energy anymore.
I felt they were dominated by such ugly energies … and i could not understand how a person … that used to be an amazing soul … was somehow metamorphosed into … an idiot.
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Yes … an idiot.
All changed in the connection i had with them …
The energy i felt … it was so, so ugly … that i could not accept anymore … not even seeing them.
They were indeed following pathless paths … and all i had to do was to accept that people are evolving in life … but also … for many of us … involution is part of this script.
So yeah … the truth is … that many times in life we are nice people … even having moments when we act excellent on the stage of life … but somehow we also go to the other extreme
acting … and in fact being … idiots. We all … follow such paths.
Positives … but also … ugly paths.
I talked about alcohol or drugs … but … the list of pathless paths … it’s infinite.
Today … i am in the position of … accepting all the people from the stage of my life …. just as they are.
Liking … or not liking their energies … i am not even bothering to say anything … anymore.
I just accept … the reality itself.
I’ve meditated … and on the scene of life … i only decide … if I connect… or disconnect from the energies which are surrounding me.
I am not saying a word anymore … to the people that are in front of me.
I consider it useless … and actually my own right of acting however i want … in the relationship with them.
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We most probably have the fundamental right to stay away from sick people
Many years ago … a friend told me about the concept came from the amerindians that when a person is sick … means is not connected on the good energies and we should stay away of that person.
I found it weird … or even a ridiculous concept.
How could we stay away of them … especially if they are people close to us … as friends, or family members?! So … i totally ignored what my friend told me.
But … today i have a totally different perception about the subject.
I see myself disconnecting from all those persons … into an unconscious way.
I analyze and define all around myself … but mainly feel the energies beyond the scene of life … and i smile seeing myself running away from those persons into an unconscious way. It’s like i am running away … of devils.
But i ask myself if i have this right of running away … not even trying to help a little those people. It is ok?!
Or should i simple accept the fact that sick persons …. having
from a simple disease as flu to people having serious mental
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problems … decided to follow those energetic pathless paths … and i should not agree to be in their company?!
In fact … we see it normal to not stay around persons having flu …. but when we are surrounded by people having mental
problems … for example … we don’t really know what to do. Some are trying to take care of those people … but also many … are running away.
Today … understanding better the concept of energies … i realize it was an unconscious decision to become sick … but it should be a conscious decision … not to run away … but simple refuse to stay connected to those persons.
We could guide them … tell them about new paths that they should follow …. but … not accompany them on this journey … into the world of ugly energies.
Of course … we should accept all as part of this scenario called life.
We all have different paths to follow.
We should accept all … smiling … but always remembering that we have the fundamental right to connect or disconnect from any type of energy … we want. And it is indeed … a fundamental right.
I also believe that my childish behavior of running away … is simple useless.
All those energies will reappear to me into a form or another … so i should simple stop acting as a child.
Learning the art of connecting and disconnecting… is probably the key.
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…. And always remember about my fundamental rights.
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Manipulation … seen as an art
The term influencing … sounds great.
But … soon after … we can speak about … the trend of domination …
Later on … we somehow realize … that the tendency of influencing was actually the need and the stupid desire of dominating everything around.
Manipulation … actually became a tool of satisfying this need. Deep inside us … even if we try to do it to the others … or the others are trying to do that with us …. we somehow feel that something is wrong.
But … we ignore intuition.
We ignore all those inner voices … that are whispering that … all should just stop.
And … if being in the position of acting as a manipulator … the one that has this silly desire of seeing absolutely everything happening into a certain way … trying to control all … but still feeling something is wrong … we just try … being manipulative again and again … and redefine all as … an art.
It sounds … ridiculous.
Even as … a total nonsense … but …
Defining all we do … an art …. the art of controlling reality …
and all the energies beyond it … we continue believing and
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trying to convince all the ones around us … that all we do is just …. great.
But why we bother to control reality?!
And why we have this stupid idea that all we do is a positive thing?!
Into the end … i ask myself … seeing the nonsense of all … but realizing i am also part of this group of stupid people that wanting to dominate all around … am saying again and again and again … that manipulation is actually … an art.
Well … maybe we still can’t understand… or accept that beyond reality … there is a dance of energies …. that can’t
really be controlled … or even if we do it … the influence itself is just for a little while … and it will really not be eternal … as we might naively think.
Yes … the idea of influence is good.
But then the trends of domination appears and all starts to be ruined.
Defining ourselves … as artists in manipulation… claiming that trying to control all the elements of reality is something positive … becomes ridiculous.
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Going beyond intimacy … a way of
understanding what are the energies that are hidden so well … and into the same time dominate so much the present moment
Recently my friend Emanuel … telling me about his new girl friend … and also about all the stupid fantasies from his past
that are still dominating his soul and mind … knowing i write about relationships… asked me … “How can i stop having this fantasy of having 2 women into the same time?! I mean … i am dominated … by the desire of seeing myself into a scene … where i am on a chair and i see my girlfriend making love with another woman.
I know … cause she admitted that she had lesbian tendencies… that i could convince her to do that … but i can’t understand the desire of being into such a scene.
I know it sounds … maybe as a nonsense … but i just can’t stop myself thinking of that.
I really don’t know how i would react … if that should become real … or if i would actually want to make love with both of them … especially if the other woman would be also beautiful
but the fantasy itself dominates my mind by a long, long time.
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I had it before meeting Larisa … but the second she told me about her opening to lesbianism… i could not stop myself thinking of that.
So … my question to you … Gabriel … is … is it healthy to talk to her about this?!
Will it improve our relationship to define those thoughts i have by such a long time?!
What if she will accept this … and my fantasy could become real?!
Should i simple watch them making love … observing the dance of sexual energies … without really being jealous cause it’s about a woman … and not about another man … or i should let myself live my fantasy completely… and make love with the 2 of them?!
But the only real question is … what is actually beyond such a
weird fantasy?!”
I was smiling.
I was looking at my friend … and suddenly a very interesting question came into my mind.
“I think you feel the need of exploring the borders of intimacy.
You need to observe her … while making love … but as a spectator to the show … not as an actor from the scene of life.
You try to also explore the limits of your jealousy… and also her limits.
You want to share her … with another soul and i believe you want to see her making love … not sex.
